Great! Pls do update on where I can find the grp. Anyway, a quick, well, not so.. introduction; I'm now 26 weeks, and single. When I found out I was pregnant last yr in sept, the first reactions from everyone around me was to get married, to a point that I also got suckered into that. I have known the biological father for only 4 mths by then and we quarrel, disagree or be sarcastic with each other over everything and anything, there really wasn't a time we could have peace. (not good at all ). He is a nice guy, not a bad one, trouble lies with our compatibility; and we just cannot agree on many grounds.
During the preparation for the wedding, his threw his temper at me constantly. I was the one with the mood swings and so decided to leave all wedding plans to him so we won't fight. We still fought, and fought even uglier, he couldn't live with co-decision making, but also couldn't make decisions himself. He accused me of not being bothered about the wedding; to which I half agreed. After a few talks with him, I told him it wasn't working out, coz we're merely marrying because people say we should, and I do not love him, I'm already making plans on divorce even before signing the marriage papers. He then pulled a threat on me, giving me 2 choices, marry him, or abort. I chose neither.
Wedding plans were called off last min, deposits forfeited, my parents were unhappy esp my mum who constantly gave me emotional BS, shunning me from relatives, insinuating I'm a disgrace, left me out of any family events in public. She feels it's better to have a legal marriage, a father for the child, rather than do it alone, for the sake of status. I was disgusted, but could understand from her protective point. Dad was more supportive, afterall, I've been annulled before and if I really wanted to take marriage seriously, then calling it off would be my wisest choice. I know it was my mistake to be so careless and fall pregnant, but making another mistake of marrying him.... 2 wrongs dont't make a right.
He called me several times after that and one day would tell me not to inform him anything about the baby, coz he's not interested. The next, he'll tell me he should play a part in bringing him up.... confirming that I truly should leave him and flee fast, he's too indecisive. Besides, now he accuses me of making use of him to have a baby (!??!)
To all single mums out there, I dont't know how you do it, I feel so stressed up and really wanna give up time and time again. I dont't know where to draw strength. I even have toxic and poisonous friends who dissect my financial situations, criticizing my every decision and judging that I'm gonna be a lousy mother, etc.... It is very hurtful and draining not to have much support at home, and then have such unhealthy 'friendships'. I do hope I'll draw some strength from fellow solo mums, and learn from your experiences.
(sorry, this has been pretty lengthy) BTW, from my understanding, can I register my baby (EDD April 2010) with just my name and surname, no need add father's name rite? just double check, no other legal procedures.