Breakdown is never easy and when it happens, those who are going through it often reduced us to the basic functions of emotional survival. The pain, vulnerability and confusion engendered by relationship breakdown can often be psychologically crippling, if only in the short term.
When the breakdown first occurs, you can feel as if you are drowning in a wave of emotion. Overwhelmed by grief and fear for the future, it seems impossible to believe that you can pass through the darkness to the other side. There is no one to tell you how, and it is difficult to believe that you will have the strength to try. Comfort can be taken from a simple thing - knowledge. Once you understand that what you are feeling is normal and part of the experience of breaking up, you begin to realise that there is a way out.
As a Single Parent
Parenting is a life-long commitment. Now, you have to wear two hats, a role of a father and as a mother but that doesn’t mean you can’t be an effective and successful parent. Your son needs a father. Your role and responsibility as a father is vitally important to your son’s growth and development.
Being a single parent is not small matter. How your son view himself and his society or community directly relate how to what he sees in you. How few of us truly understand the important role our lives and values play in the future of our children.
Three roles of manhood:
1. A Man of Integrity. Finding the consistency between the ‘talk’ and the ‘walk’. If we are not honest we are not… (too many words to post)
2. A Man of Commitment. A father commitment is demonstrated by his readiness and willingness to carry out his fathering responsibilities. Commitment involves more than claiming our child as our son. It requires us to work for our child’s benefits. Children need to feel secure in exploring the world because they always know where home is. They know where they belong. Have a sense of affirmation received from their father. If you claim as a father, it creates in you a responsibility for him. It creates in you a sense of duty. As a good solider can tell you, a sense of duty can help you beat incredible odds.
3. A Man of Action. As father, we need to understand that if we choose not to activity father our children, someone else will. The world is filled with father substitutes – surrogates all too ready to step into the role: the TV, internet, Ipad, Smartphone, etc as a father, says, “We’ll watch over your children for you. We’ll keep them preoccupied while you do your work and live your own life.”
Hope my words provide some comfort and ideas. If you need more suggestion, do let contact me, (HOW???). Can we leave our email?