First question who's filing?
This is a discussion on what is considered 'reasonable' terms within the Single Parents Support Group forum, part of the MummySG Special Group category; Hi there, I can't believe my irresponsible, filthy ex (he commited infidelity & i kicked him out of the house... ...
I can't believe my irresponsible, filthy ex (he commited infidelity & i kicked him out of the house... unofficially separated), is chasing me to discuss the D terms!
Can I check with all of you on the following n would appreciate some advise if you have gone thru the same ordeal as me:
- access: for public holidays n kids' bdays... frankly im the one having care & control, and I feel that giving him 1 day of the wek to spend time with my kiddos are enuf. do i need to state my 'terms' for public holidays n their bday? will it open a can of worms?
- stay over and overseas trip: seriously i'm not keen to even allow. esp this fella is so disrepactful! even now when we havnt sign the papers, he allow his gf (a single mum with a young kid) to his parents place for reunion meal!! my kid is rather afected by it and I really dont't want to allow sleepovers (he is staying with that woman now) until my kids are in their teenage years n it's their decision whether they want to or not.
do you think these terms are considered unreasonable?
First question who's filing?
i am filing... he's taking too long and i think he doesn't wanna pay for the paperwork (altho he keeps saying he want to end it, and keep asking me to meet to settlwe the terms).
hmmmm.... does it matter?
Terms are not unreasonable. Most importantly child support.
Frankly evertything have to state black
And white. Your lawyer should advise and will mention to
You. have not't you had a one on one with the lawyer yet?
I find that some man are idiot. My ex-husband find that he need to be responsible to the other woman and her children from her last marriage (he also got hook up with a divorcee with 2 teen children) then his own lawful wedded wife and his own child. Not sure what the hell these men are thinking.
Btw, I am in the mist of settling my D. I am also asking for no overnight access and no oversea access for that idiot. My lawyer told me my case should not be a problem for me, as my chlid is only 19 months old. But I know that idiot will fight for it, so we may go to trial for this issue.
Pray hard that I will get my case and close this episode fast fast.
Last edited by willows; 19-07-2011 at 07:03 AM.
Hi I just finalized my D couple of months back and I would advise to make sure you state yur terms clearly. I have care n control of my 2yr old son. I had an amicable understanding with my ex that he will get access to my son while Im at work. We didn't have this defined to specific days or week or time frames and left it very generic and now what I'm facing is he trying to take advantage and extend his time longer each week.
It's difficult to enforce him to keep to our agreement so I urge anyone to make sure you clearly state in yur final order.
Did you ask for no overnight access and no overseas access?
I am asking for my ex to visit our child on Sunday only and no overnight and no overseas access. Not sure will I get my case or not, my D still at the interim stage.
i'm planning to engage this very experienced lawyer (wow, her fees for uncontested proceeding is from $4-5K?! is that normal?) and i really hope i can come to terms with ex soon... there're too many terms to setle.. like access (public holiday access, did any of you include in your papers? will it open up a can of worms?), my flat...
at tis moment i'm leting him bring the kids out every sat till early afternoon as my girl is very young n she needs to nap. moreover his parents place is a mess n super dirty, i can't imagine my girl sleeping at their filthy place... recently my boy is attending some enrichment course during 'his time', he's already bitching about it... but im not prepared to compromise too much as i care more for my baby than 'his time'... so do you think it's unreasonable?
oh boy... the lawyer fees are really ex... but i really need a good and responsible one who can protect me n my kids... how?!!!!should i go ahead?
4-5k is for the D only or include ancillary matter? If both should be ok, if D only then I think it's ex.
it's includes everything from D to ancillary... really ex right? can't believe I'm paying so much for someone's folly!
I find the price is reasonable. Mine is also +- 5 to 6k.
All I could say is divorce is both financially and emotionally taxing.
Btw, if you are the one that file for D. You can claim part of your lawyer fee from your spouse. Which is what I am doing now.
Last edited by willows; 03-08-2011 at 08:54 AM.
I have a situation here. Please give me some advice.
My ex has list down his requirement for Child issue.
My ex is a PR, he request to bring our child 3x per year to visit his parents which is residing across the causeway. But my stand is the child is still very young and also worried that one day he may just bring the child oversea and did not bring her back to me.
My ex want overnight access from friday to sunday, again I do not agree. As the child is too young and have very close bonding with me. She would want me to sleep with her and would look for me in the middle of the night and early in the morning.
He also want to visit the child in every alternate weekdays. Which I find it is a disturbance to my daily life.
Please advice if you are in my situation that how would you handle it.