This is a discussion on Why Divorce? within the Single Parents Support Group forum, part of the MummySG Special Group category; Originally Posted by happymummyo7 lols. i dont agree with yr married cos of the sake of diao-kia n baby eh. ...
im really stunned with my dear husband you know!!.. he wasnt even 10% of what i wanted to marry... but after marriage.. he's so. so . so sosososo complete turn.. great husband great father... :]................ i really need spice up. / communicate... if not. will 淡 ....most men change after married .
my husband was so good and generous towards me before married.
but now he so meow . but can understand the commitments he have towards work and the effort to thrift in order to support all of us.
you may be feeling 'sian' cause you still young not ready to settle down yet .
communication and trust are very important.
jia you girl. dont do silly things in future regret, some things no chance to regret one..
you dont praise miie .. i will fly..
you also.. damn powerful .. damn strong... read in some other thread you've posted
i hope to feel that soon.. the kicks n moves... thanks lisa..
not strong . is been thru too much shits since young kana trained come out like that. huan jing suo bi. hahas.
how many weeks are you in. trust me once you start feeling your little one things will get better in terms of emotional. and you are lucky, to have supportive parents, so cherish, be content and be happy. only then baby come out will happy happy.
my precious, whenever i think of his father at times, he will kick me super hard till i stop thinking. at times when im sad or angry or feel alone, he will move and move and give little kicks to make his presence known. sometimes when he's in good mood he will play with me. i move my hand where he will kick where. he's my main support now. cause like what lisa says, with this precious one, wont be alone anymore.
precious jovier landed 26th june o9.
世上只有妈妈好。-like that dont't need papa .
Looks like some of us here face similar past...
For me, in 1999 I n ex husband then found out I was pregnant but both dont wanna abort, so kept quiet until end 1999 when I was like almost 6 mths preggie then my mum came n ask if I preggie then I started crying. then my Dad wanted to drive me out of the house... Big time drama man...
So LL, when to seek approval for ROM and everything... So got ROM in Jan 2000 when I was with a big tummy! Then my stupid ex mother in law die die want us stay with them. So my parents paid for my new furniture, air con, TV at his house. Which his parents did nothing at all! While staying there, i think i wanna commit sucide , facing my EX mother in law, this 1 cannot, dat 1 cannot... Basically irritating.
lucky, my confinement did it at my parents place. Sorry, I very long winded... Basically everything was fine until 1 day my ex told me, "lao po, since we still young, why not we lead our normal life, you can have a bf outside, i can have a gf outside, but come home, we still husband n Wife." Upon hearin that, my blood boil. I also very rebellious , in my heart, you think i nobody 1 izit? NVM , i'll show you I can do it... So I strayed ... Then i became really really bad...
Took drugs , mix with bad company ... Basically I wasted like 6 mths of my life on that. I even neglected my dear daughter... Bad mummy... Then during this period, my family keep talking to me to turn good, dont be like this... Ask me reconcile with my ex which I actually did. I stopped my old ways then we reconcile. Everything was good for awhile, until i found out he still in contact with his dat gf, he strayed when I was preggy. And during my confinement still got a woman call n tell me my ex stray which I didn't believe at that time.
I still remember the situation that lead to the final decision for me to leave him, we were at back at Alexandra IKEA. I saw the girl SMS, tellin him dont call her anymore. So i thought they still had sumthing on. I called the girl n F her. In the end it was not, I went to meet up with the girl, she told me they broke up sometime back already after she found out he is actually married bcoz she didn't know. But it was my EX who was pestering her, write her card sayin if she dont stay with him, he will die n show her.. then still buy her watch which is a couple watch he was wearing that time! still tell me colleague buy for his birthday! After I found out, then I left him for good . then during this time use same tactic, say if i dont stay with him, he wanna die, then i say ok before you die buy insurance 1st ?
Anyway, we seperated for very long and I left home w/o seeing my dear daughter . I stayed outside for a yr plus. I'm a bad bad mummy...
It was until I met my current husband at 2002 dat he helped to pull my life together... He accompany me go look for lawyer, finalise everything... Then I finally got divorce in 2004. So happy to when I got my DECREE NISI that time!
Then few mths before my divorce finalise, tell you ... GOD really love me man... Bcoz during that 2 years of my life , my ex mother in law friends with my auntie mah, then keep go n brain wash my grandma ( my dad's mum), say its me who broke this family up and everything ( maybe in a way i did ) But not all my fault mah! Ok, back to it, my ex was "advertised" on newspaper (lianhe, TNP, Straits time) that policeman was caught in the act with a married woman in the woman's car at Bishan Park by a PI and dat woman's husband. Somemore during that time, he still ask me go back to him! As*h* right? Oh ya, he use to be a policeman. So my grandma actually angry with me bcoz she believe what my ex mother in law said... Then my Dad bought the newspapers to show my grandma, then the next time when my ex mother in law when to see her, ny grandma chase her out with a broom ! bcoz all along my ex mother in law keep on sayin bad things about me, say her son very poor thing. So finally truth come to light!
Anyway im so glad I met my current husband, I really must thank him for being there for me all the way ...
Last edited by mich_liu82; 04-05-2009 at 12:16 PM.
wah your ex husband really not a man to be with.
glad that you found a good husband now.
dont't be bothered by the past.
i do understand the agony how life was wasted and life treated like a dirt where we dont't have a better options or didn't see what can be better for that moment of time.
ppl keep accusing me to be in fault. but they do not know what happen, they are in no position to comment .
anyway i wasn't keen to explain or tell them what exactly happen, it's between the 2 of us.
same for me, i was glad my current husband picked me up from the mess and put me back in one piece.
Last edited by lisa_ng; 04-05-2009 at 12:25 PM.
i'm in my 10th week.. everytime i feel down, i would listen to its heartbeat.. calms me in a way that cant be explained..
its a good feeling cos i sometimes read to it or sing... and with the 'baby sounds' on my tummy, its heartbeat slows down and follows the rhythm of the song.. its really nice having something in your tummy that responds.. a baby..
lisa is right.. we won't be alone
My ex auntie also like your ex mother in law like that only will say their own nephew/son is in the right than we in the wrong but actual fact they know nothing.
My ex auntie is even worse & heartless , everyone of my ex relative well know that my ex husband is violence and yet his auntie can say no matter what i will still side my nephew!!!
talk to 'it' (dont know boyboy or girlgirl yet) often. trust me. 'it' will know and understand one. jiayou jiayou. very soon you will be able to feel your baby move move. then more obvious movements like punch or kicks. super fun.
up there is fair . cause they give women the best pressie. to be able to feel a life inside.
i remember once during my scan, my gynae says cant see cause baby legs close. so while he proceed with checking the head size and all. i disturb my precious ask him open legs mummy want see. and awhile later, gynae says, baby leg open , its a boy. interesting right?
the other day, i purposely bang my tummy lightly against the counter twice. and awhile later, baby give me two hard kicks.
some times will feel maybe is conincidence. but it happens so many times that i have to believe, this little one really knows whats happening!
precious jovier landed 26th june o9.
世上只有妈妈好。-like that dont't need papa .
see see. mich and lisa case shows that even though at times it seems like its the end of everything, but its actually the beginning of another. its not the end of the world!
and well. we can never please everyone. so dont care what people says. take all bad things as a lesson. and thank those bastards. cause without them, maybe even when we met someone better, we wont cherish that much?
Even though I'm a papa, I can't help but shake my head here.Originally Posted by mich_liu82
Straying husband can be forgiven, but maybe not forgotten ...
Stupid husband ... get rid of them at the first instance & I'm glad you did, coz I know of sooooo many more who have not't.
Looking at the beautiful picture in your avatar, it's not difficult to calculate that the amount of time you spent as a straying wife & a bad mummy ... has been superceded by the amount of time you spent as a loving wife & a doting mummy, by more than 10 times even.Originally Posted by mich_liu82
What's in the past is YESTERDAY already ... there's no eraser on Earth that can clean it off, but it is indeed such painful memories that will continue to remind you to continue to want to be the best wife & the best mummy that you can be.
What is significantly more important are TODAY & TOMORROW ... live it well & without regrets, for the sake of the WONDERFUL HUSBAND & the beautiful children you now have.
Poetic justice ... this is what it's called.Originally Posted by mich_liu82
Exactly why I labelled him WONDERFUL HUSBAND ...becoz it's always easier to meet a person who remembers the bad things about you, rather than the good things.Originally Posted by mich_liu82