Have you try calling the police in during one of their noisy period??
This is a discussion on Bloody Noisy, half naked neighbors! What Can We Do? within the Local & Foreign Issues forum, part of the Community Lounge category; Hi all. Please read on, there's a pressing new problem in the noisy neighbor issue that I really need help ...
Hi all. Please read on, there's a pressing new problem in the noisy neighbor issue that I really need help with before someone gets hurt.
First off, I'm new here. Actually I joined to hopefully get some advice about our neighbors, who are so loud and disrespectful to my husband and I that it is far beyond control. I fear that in the absence of police involvement my husband is about to hurt the guy next door. I know the police won't do anything until someone is hurt, so I'm a bit concerned.
Here's the story. We live in an HDB in Toa Payoh. About 1 year ago, an Indian couple moved next door with 2 small toddlers. From day 1 they were lighting firecrackers in the corridor and the noise at our place - in 1 day - went from peaceful and respectful to us living next door to a party hall/ day care center. It would take pages to tell you specifically the amount and scope of noise.
We've tried taking them to mediation almost a year ago, where we presented audio and video evidence of all kinds. dont't get me wrong, we are not prudes. We have raised a boy and girl ourselves and did it without ever intruding on our neighbors right to peace and quiet. We tried to put up with it. Anyway, recording the audio was easy, we'd record sitting on our couch it was that loud. Video was of them crowding the corridor with extended family and the kids playing by our door with nothing but diapers on... e..t.c...
Anyway, The officer involved was literally shocked at what we had put up with, and specifically told the neighbors they must adhere to and respect our rights of privacy. He told them that it was thoughtless of them, and told us all to shake hands on a few ground rules. They agreed (in front of the police) to do everything they could to not bother anyone with the noise. They were all smiles and making nice. However, once free of the police intrusion and after a few weeks, they continued to make a ridiculous amount of noise all day, every day, as if the mediation didn't happen.
My husband did a tour just after mediation, before they started up again, so thankfully for the neighbor he's missed most of the noise. (he's a Canadian soldier, recently retired after 2 tours in Afghanistan)
Before they moved in we could open our door to let in circulation and cool off, but since their arrival I've had to close our front window and door 24/7 and our air-con bill is thru the roof because of it. Simply put, I couldn't stay at home with a door or window open, because the noise is unbearable.
They have 2 young very adorable boys, but they are little monsters with noise. However it's not the kids fault, it is the parents not having any thought to discipline their kids or take them outside to play - or to keep the door and windows closed when the kids are ornary. They really have no respect for us, which is most evident whenever the husband comes home. This is when I hear his loud voice and the kids banging and crashing OVER our TV, which I've had so loud it's irritating, just to drown them out.
Here's the more pressing reason I'm posting here, now. Lately, the husband neighbor has taken to walking around in his underwear when he gets home from work - with his door wide open. Now my husband is recently back, he's seen a lot of combat, and he is not anyone to fool with. He has just told me that neighbor guy (in his underwear with door wide open) is not only an incredible breach of our privacy, but that he considers it confrontational, rude, and completely disrespectful to him. I told him it's a cultural thing, but my hubbie simply said that civilized and respectful people dont't behave like that, no matter where they're from. He's already said that if our children, (who are away at school thankfully), ever see that display he will snatch neighbor from his home and throw him off the landing after beating him within an inch of his life. I'm sure he s exadurating, he's a very gentle guy. But still, he is not impressed and to be frank neither am I.
I've managed to keep my hubbie from confronting the guy up until now, but I fear the next time he sees a grown man walking around, door open, in his underwear, well he may just decide enough is enough. Noise is one thing, but this is beyond disrespect, it's bloody rude beyond belief.
My question to anyone - what can I do about this? Is there a law about this guy walking around mostly naked with his door open? Is there no common decency laws that we can cite? What can I do to stop something from escalating beyond my control?
Basically, Is there anything short of moving out that we can do to stop them from making our right to live peacefully here a living hell? I should point out we've lived here with 0 problems for 10 years, they moved in last year and now all we have is problems.
Please, if anyone can, help!
Have you try calling the police in during one of their noisy period??
post in stomp?
i think you should take a photo of him in his underwear & go to police post to make a report.... & see how the police is going to charge him.... ask your hubby dont't hande this kind of ppl by himself.... what if they fight??? is it worth it??
that's one hell of a neighbour you have here. at his stage if you felt the police and mediation wont help than you should try to go to the press and give them some 'publicity'. or at the worst you may want to consider relocation to another place.
me too have problems with my neighbours.. and not being a racist here but both are indians.. we used to open our doors but the noise from them is getting too much. its much better now cos the boy has just went to school.
My neighbour beside me..
their son is constanly banging things in the morning.. shouting and screaming for the whole day.. he even took sand and pour at my hubby shoes.
he would take my hubby shoes and throw it everywhere.
the WORST part..
my mom didnt tell me this till i tell her about the son being very naughty.. she told me that there was a time when she met with the boy, the boy PUI at my mom. like spitting saliva to my mom.. my mom say so naughty!
feel like going over to scold him but since it happen a few days ago, i didnt.. but another time no hesitation i will go over and tell his mom.
their parents will sometimes bang the doors close whenever they are scolding their children.. cos they chase their son out.. and he will cry and scream to let him come in.
theres so many many more... pity my next door neighbours too cause they keep their windows open.. he would throw things in..
My upstairs neighbour
keep on moving things, dropping things like screws, hammer n stuff. n it happen after working hours.. my ger is already sleeping.. first time we went up when 8pm he was drilling, he said he only have these hours to do a bit of drilling.. he said he will stop.
stuff kept on dropping ever since we move in.. those loud and shocking drop of things. my ger got awaken quite a few times. we went upstairs multiple times but they said they werent doing anything.. there are no kids. so its not the problem that kids are playing with toys.
there was this time i went up to tell them that if it happen again im calling the police no matter who is doing the dropping..
his neighbour ask me y am i looking for them.. i said i cant stand the noise.. he said they are not at home! see the door is close.. then i said its impossible that nobody is around.. blah blah blah he kept on speaking for them. my hubby came up and told him he dont believe in ghosts. lol..
i got seriously tired of all the noise.. and yes im like you mediating..
but one day i know i will call the police but seriously they cant do anything but like your case just tell the other party to stop.
read sometime ago about the neighbours going to court.. cos the victims cant stand their nonsence.
prolong noise and disturbance can be sued.
i recalled an incident that happened in singapore some time back
there was a couple who went around half naked (in undergarments) walking around in their own flat??? Anyone remembers?
And their neighbours took a picture and reported to police. I think in the end that couple got some punishments or serious warning....i believe there should be such a clause for this.
indecent exposure hehe! But if half naked does not apply? Can make police reports numerous times then call in media? At least you can show that they are very noisy and police have been called in many times and keep the police reports
Do they own the fault or are they renting?
If they own the flat, you can lodge a complaint to HDB & Town Council.
HDB has the right to take back the flat if they are really a nuisance & you've tried everything (telling them nicely, mediation, police).
Compile your evidence & write in to HDB plus your Town Council.
Am not too sure about whether there is an actual law on indecent exposure in your own home BUT I do know that common decency rules in ANY society do not allow for a person to walk half naked in their home WITH the doors and windows open and in plain view of passerbys. It's not just rude but well, unpleasant and uncivilised. Sorry but I was taught by my parents that if you want to walk around half naked, do it in the comfort of your own home WITH the door and windows shut. In other words, no one but your spouse and children should see your hairy/bountiful bod.
Perhaps what you can do is snap a photo of this guy in action and immediately get the town council people or police to come by. If all else fails, I second stonston's suggestion - get them kicked out.
Anyway, do talk to your hubby about his idea of confronting this guy. Yes, I agree that it's very confrontational and offensive (come on, it's not that he doesn't know that there are women living next to him), especially considering after you guys have spoken to them about it - so I suspect that he knows what he's doing is wrong, just wants to annoy (mildly putting it) you guys. Perhaps he feels put off at being told what to do by a "foreigner"/angmoh - a number of people are like that - hence why he is just itching for a fight. The whole "colonial insecurity" thing.
dont't buy into it, 'k? If you must fight back, fight back smart - get officials involved. This guy is just "fighting" stupidly.
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Hi guys, sorry I'm just now getting back. For some reason I wasn't being notified of the responses to the thread.
To all the questions...
Have I called the police? Many times when they first moved in. This is what led to mediation. One police visit even ended in a shouting match between me and the wife because she was lying to them with me standing right there, saying they not making noise. This is their thing really, whenever the police attend they act all innocent and say that we are being prudish and dont't like children and they not being loud. How hilarious that is considering I have 2 children and regularly look after my 4 year old niece. That's also why I started recording them.
Also have done mediation, again same story. They promised to make significant changes to curb the problem and after 2 or so weeks they were back at it again, like the mediation never happened. The neighbor was so nice to police and my husband it was pathetic. Even had me believing they would fix the issue. A few weeks later (after my husband left) other neighbors were telling me they going around saying we dont't like children and started giving dirty looks and acting like we were at fault.
After the police in attendance scolded them during mediation and asked them to comply and to be more respectful and aware of the environment. He was quite shocked at the noise on our mp3 from them and their kids. Three things were promised at that mediation.
- Door closed whenever the children were home and being loud. Window? Well since they had none at the time the neighbor said he "had just moved in and was installing one immediately". 1 year later, still no window, just the same shudders from when they first moved in.
- No loitering around the corridor, blocking traffic or kids playing inappropriately at our doorstep.
- Anytime they were being loud they would do their level best to make sure that at least the doors were closed and that they would take care of it.
None of these things has been done. Basically their door and window (shudders) are wide open from morning to night. Kids still scream and bang and crash at will.
Add to that lately is the half naked imbecile. My hubbie is completely insulted by that over anything else. He keeps saying if our kids ever come to see that he will hurt the guy. I keep trying to sheild their door when we come home lately, for fear my husband will see the spectacle again and just lose it.
Also, they are owners yes, and I didn't realize that HDB could take back a flat if the nuisance is continued. I have tons of audio and video evidence of their noise and their corridor loitering, but I'm not sure how to get photo of him walking around in his underwear, at least without him knowing why I have taken the picture.
Also, other neighbors here have complained about them, but only to me! Aiyo I tell them call hdb, even police but they say "cannot involve", they either too busy or just willing to accept it. Much easier for them, they aren't right next door. I pity the poor auntie a floor below, since the kids are regularly jumping up and down. They shake our flat so much I've had to remove breakables from the shelf facing their unit. Aunty downstairs is almost 80 and lives with a maid. Of course she'll never complain, but it's a bloody shame for her.
I'm at a loss. I guess I will just have to somehow catch a picture of him walking around half naked and add it to our long file of stuff. I just can't understand how people can be this rude and oblivious to their neighbors, knowing full well that they are causing so much problems. It is just such a hassle when all they need to do is be respectful and mind the environment.
Funny because as I write this the kids are right outside my door again screaming and I can hear the Mom yelling at them from the damned open door. Aargh!!!
the unit above me are Indians too, also make A LOT of noise. They have two girls and plays noisily too. They jump about prance around and dance a lot. So I have to bear with all the thumpings! From day 1 i moved in i had to bear with it n it last till around 1 am daily. My hubby too had confronted them many times, they will b quiet fr a day or two then back to usual. They are generally nice folks imo, i had talked to them before n tried to befriend them. i tol them we hav a baby n manytimes the thumping will startle her from the sleep.. i guess this is parts n parcels of living in hdb flats n being in a multiracial country. Indians i think r generally very very merry ppl... Lucky me though, they are MOVING OUT!!! Yipeeeee......
THe indecency thing though i think its UNACCEPTABLE at alL!!
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" 1 Cor 13:13"
It may come down to us going to Sim Lim and buying a camera set up and trying, even though this is time and hassle we could do without. Aargh!
Thanks to Stonston at least I know that we can get them removed if their rude and noisy behaviour doesn't cease. Eventually we will have to take what we have for evidence to the HDB and lodge a formal complaint and ask that they be removed. I guess if all else fails we will sue them as well. Got plenty of evidence for the noise violations, that's for sure. Without a doubt something has to be done. This is such nonsense!
dont't know whether it's illegal to film their doors as it's their property..in fact, it may constitute an invasion to their privacy even..
Maybe you can try getting a petition from your surrounding neighbours who are affected and submit to your town council? ..btw, here's a link that may be useful for you...How should a dispute with my neighbour be handled should mediation fail? - MyHomeTown.sg - Forum - Forum Concierge - You Ask Forumers Answer
What's the outcome of all the problems you've been facing? I moved into my flat last October and I've been putting up with the noises of my neighbour upstairs. Same old thing, running, jumping, dropping of heavy objects. As early as 6AM and as late as 3AM. These people dont't need to sleep! And yes, they are Indians.
I went up three times, first two were in a friendly tone but they denied they were making noises, with usual excuses like the kids are sleeping, it's not them, it's the folks upstairs (I mean WTF, you telling me the sound of stomping feet from 2 floors above me?). The third time I went up turned into a yelling session. I called the police twice. The noises would go away for a while (a few days, maybe a week?) and then return. Me and my wife thought, OK, school holidays in Nov/Dec let it pass, but now it's freakin Feb and I'm certain it's not holidays. dont't the kids need to sleep and go to school?!
Just last night I decided to stand on a stool and use my hand to hammer the ceiling. Yes, my hand, not a bamboo stick. To my surprise, the ceiling vibrated just the same way it was vibrating from all the running and jumping. HDB flats have a real problem nowadays. My flat is 8 years old, BTW. I dont't think my parents' flat (closing 30 years now) are like that.
I feel like building a portal to get all Singapore residents to come together and make HDB do something. Some law MUST be passed! What I've been reading online is utter rubbish and is making a joke of our legal system.
If all these mediation and police bullsh*t can't work then maybe we shall do a "I sabo your neighbour, you sabo my neighbour." When it turns really ugly maybe HDB will do something.
Last edited by detach8; 12-02-2010 at 08:33 AM.