This is a discussion on "More" Preg woman's hubby shout at "Less" Preg woman to give up MRT seat within the Local & Foreign Issues forum, part of the Community Lounge category; Originally Posted by Ting actually i have one very annoying idea before.. haha, cos when im out with pin, n ...
ya get pin to request for the seat. unless they really very thick skin! if not usually they will paiseh n give up the seat..
that time i carried ashton in carrier take mrt, then got a student sitting on reserved seat, he wanna get up to let me sit, but i just smiled n pointed to him another empty seat, letting him know that i can just take another seat. haha!
orleng dearie, i wont be surprised how thick skin ppl can get..... LOL~
It is strange why our society has developed this way.
During my second trimester of pregnancy, I was in Hong Kong for a few days and took the MTR (public trains), and someone offered me a seat at EVERY ride.
The graciousness is certainly lacking in Singapore.
While I agree that the confrontation was uncalled for and rude, personally, I think it's not quite right to say that pregnant women (and the elderly or people with young children) should not expect people to give up their seats and take the cab instead if they want comfort/a seat. Not everyone can afford to take a cab to work every day and not everyone here drives to work.
Giving up your seat should not be seen as a gesture of goodwill BUT one made out of courtesy, consideration and graciousness - values that are sorely lacking in this part of the world (I speak of Malaysia too) and values that should be taught to all - young and old - and put to practice on a daily basis. Being gracious and considerate are good qualities in an individual and never out of fashion.
When I was pregnant in Switzerland, people would offer me a seat (if they saw that I was pregnant - under a winter jacket and clothing, they couldn't really tell but it's a different story during summer) and I would observe that the elderly and those with strollers get help from other passengers, even on a crowded weekday morning/evening.
To the question - "Does being pregnant make you a queen?", well, no, pregnant women dont't expect roses on the floor and a red carpet greeting whenever they take public transport. They, however, being pregnant are given the right to demand for seats that are already allocated for the elder, disabled, people with children or those who are pregnant.
But honestly, how many pregnant women would walk up to a sleeping non-pregnant, non-elderly person and say "I want that seat please"? Few, if you ask me.
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Giving up seats shld be auto maa...
but ppl in singapore will auto fall aslp if they see those ppl who need seats(ie,pregnants,elderlys,ppl with children)...
when i was preggy,i'll just stand if dere is no seat,i dont need ppl to give up their seats to mi...
i dont feel that tiring also maa...
rubbing tummy doesnt mean is a signal that :hey,give up your seat to mi coz i'm preggy...
i use to rub my tummy just to 'ask' my boy to behave himself inside....
when i bring my boy out,i'll faster look for a seat...
coz my boy will wriggle non stop on bus,trains....
up till now,out of so many times i bring my boy on public,only lik 1-2times ppl give up seats to mi leii....
generally ppl in singapore are not that auto laaa....
Wow, the debate still going on huh? LoL.
Actually what meiteoh said is true lorrr. If we're preggy and see someone falling asleep on the seat, will we really go up and say, "Hello let me sit please?"
Having said that, when I was having #1 I had to take train on weekday mornings to work during my first trimester. Obviously nobody can tell I am pregnant, but unfortunately we all know how terrible 1st trimester is! I cannot stand for so long, and I wanted to faint. Just felt this very very horrible feeling of dizziness and nausea. I was telling myself, "Maybe I should ask someone to give up their seat to me, so that I can sit down and rest." End up I didn't, I just decided to "stand for a while more, going to reach."
I still remember the experience very clearly. When I reach my stop, the door open and as I was walking out all I saw was BLACK. Meaning to say I already blacked out, and I can hear the train operator announce the stop in a very very dull dull voice. As I walked out of the train all i saw was darkness that I stuck my hand out so that I can feel the wall. Finally I touched the wall and leaned against it as I tried to regain my senses.
BUT people just walked by me. I am quite sure my face was very pale and I do look like I need help. Even the people who were in the train, just stare at me, nobody bother to come out and ask me if I'm okay. But I also know peak hour everyone rushing to work.
By the time I was showing and people give up their seats to me, I didn't really need the seat that much as I did in my first trimester. Plus I always travel during the times when confirm no seats so I will just automatically take the "glass panel" and lean on it throughout the ride.
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When it comes to morale ethics, its alway a debatable subject....
For me first 3 months is the worse, as feeling sick, yet stomach not big enough for kind pple to give you a seat. But i always think that once pple give up the seat, no matter whether is it the next stop we getting down, we should at least sit, so that pregnant women do not protray the image that we dont't need one. Actually is not only the weight of the baby, is that sometimes the train may be jerky and thus dangerous. But i do agree, giving up seat is a kind act and shouldn't be a force one. For sleeping commuter..though not pregnant, may be feeling not well too. As for me, when im in the train, and if i saw a pregnant women near me, I will always try to wake the commuters and ask him whether he/she can give up the seats. Not all pple are bad, some just didn't realise as their eyes are closed, hence we can always ask politely..if you never ask, you will never get the things work out. When I'm pregnant, I also will wake some commuter to ask for a seat. (paiseh though a bit thick skin).
Actually "those" seats need not complusory be given up.
They are more of convenience and doesn't give you the right to
demand for one.
What I dislike more than "Sleepers"
"Pole dancers" leaning on the grab pole?? (just short of some music & I suppose they'll gryrate..)
I normally hold the grab pole nearer to their hair, catching just a few strands of hair & when the train jerks you should see their expression.... PRICELESS (& no I do not look away, I look straight at them) Most will get the point & hold not lean.
side-track a bit.... if you want people to give up their seat, go to the middle of the carriage with yr butt near their faces & let out a fart.. Noisy farts normally do the trick.
If I were on the receiving end, I know I would!
Last edited by holeyman1; 06-04-2010 at 11:30 AM.
Ultra compact stroller up for reservation!
but now the signs say " RESERVED SEATS FOR XXXX (the pictures shown)
so meaning that the seats r reserved for these ppl, no?
hI ALL Preg mummies,
I also have some stories (Good & bad) to share with.
Really dont understand nowsaday, y ppl is so not condsiderate.
Last yr when I am preg, abroad d train which is not so crowd but no seat available. So I sometimes stand aside near the door & even stand infront the RESERVED seat Yet nobody give up seat.
Have about two times were others lady passager standing & ask the ppl seating down to give up the seat to me.
also Got 1 time, i am sitting at d reserved seat , there is also another Preg Woman abroad the train. Got 1 lady ask me whether can i give up my seat to this Preg woman. At that time, mine is not as big as her so in sitting position really can't tell that i am preg too. When I stand up to give up my seat then that lady knew that i am preg. She is very polite n say sorry to me. Then she ask ppl sitting beside me to give up their seat.
hmm...i guess if someone ask if you could give up the seat, and if you are also pregnant or feeling sick, is ok the reject and perhaps like the lady in "mag-Huiling's incident" to ask the person beside for the seats. I guess out of 5 pples seated sure there is one kind soul.
another thing i notice , sometimes in the morning peak hour, some pregnant mother are squeeze at the door..so the commuter sitting down dont't even know there is a lady who needs to seat...sigh.
sometimes i think they should invent some seats like the cinema type where only (aged pple/pregnant women) have a special pass (vaild for 8 months) to activate it, to bring down the seat. In such a way this pple can be ensure of a seat, and also can save the embarrassment of some pple who mistaken "non pregnant lady" as pregnant.
Last edited by Sheryl_goh; 08-04-2010 at 12:23 PM.
hi mummies, i want to share my experience too.
Once, i took mrt with my husband. i was 5mths pregnant but tummy not that obvious but i sat on the reserved seat cos all other seats occupied. along the way, the mrt was very crowded, then this aunty came up to me & told me to give up my seat to this eldery old man. My husband was standing in front of me, he loudly told the aunty'Excuse me, my wife is pregnant'. the aunty still came up to me & said iszit? sorry, not obvious. then she went to another reserved seat & told the student to give up her seat to the old man which she did. I thought she was quite rude when she said'not obvious' but heck care , since she apologised.
2nd time was i was in the bus after work. I was about 6-7mths pregnant. but bus very crowded. im terrified to take crowded buses cos some people are like uncivilized, will push & push their way in. but no choice, also ve to board. i was standing near the exit & this lady saw me, she pointed to me to take her seat, then this student, very fast action, when the lady stand up , she sat down. when the lady saw, she loudly tel the student 'EXCUSE ME!" then she pointed to me. think the student was embarassed, quickly got up & apologised to me, i thank the lady & told the student, no worries .