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We are trying to concieve-ing!

This is a discussion on We are trying to concieve-ing! within the Trying To Conceive forum, part of the You and Your Family category; hahaha missA, your meme made me laugh, thats the spirit !! I so agree about the pre O phase going ...

  1. #6201
    Worthy Lady tricky's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    hahaha missA, your meme made me laugh, thats the spirit !!

    I so agree about the pre O phase going by in a flash and 2ww so bloody long. I wish I could just sleep my whole way through the 2ww, in a coma or something hehe. I'm quite sick of this as I feel the biggest compromise I have sacrificed is my working out. I used to run alot and go to pilates twice a week. Now I dont even want to go between AF and O because than I feel really bad to stop for 2 weeks.
    The one thing I'm looking forward to when pregnant is hitting prenatal pilates !!

    xiaohuis, thanks for the link, gonna check it out, just for fun of it

    Anyway I bought coq10 and wheatgrass powder yesterday, not cheap

  2. #6202
    Worthy Lady tricky's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    ehh how accurate is this chart ?

  3. #6203
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Missa: haha gynae is everything can eat one. My prev gynae also.. but some.small.amt of gynae still discourage pineapple. Did she told.you no tea n coffee n coke? My prev gynae did told me no to.this.. aiya since she tell you hawaii pineapple you should tell her then Japanese how. Haha.

    Pinkloii: haha.. think my cd is about same as dragontail.. so probably when we o you r in 2ww. Hehe.

    Missy10: wooo wait for your good news tomorrow!

  4. #6204
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Tricku: must be after 3 mths then can go pilates right? I until now still could not find one yoga to join. -.- lol.

  5. #6205
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Missa: my friend once told me yy give away your left over pads to people ttcing. So after they BD place the pad under her. Lol. She said she saw frm a taiwanese variety show. . Haha

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    Woah... due to my night shifts. I missed the thread for like 2-3 days. Haha.
    Can I ask. BW hard wax or soft wax ?

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    MissA: Congrats!

    So Happy so many bfp hehe looking forward to mine.

  8. #6208
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Hi all. I have a story to tell. Just feeling a lil' down and needed to air my thoughts.

    So background is, my hubby is a divorcee and had a son from his previous marriage but full 100% custody belongs to the ex-wife. Up till now, I have never met my in laws cuz they are still very close to the ex-wife. The ex-wife's parents passed away so my in-laws have felt that they're like the ex-wife's parents in a way. They dont't like me and have never wanted to see me nor acknowledge me. They see me as the 'hu li jing'. During CNY, my hubby and I go our seperate ways for reunion dinner. I to my parent's place, my hubby to his parents' place ; I've never visited nor received a red packet from my in-laws / my husband's side of the family. My husband is very close to my family though.

    My parents know that he is divorced but have never pushed me further to elaborate (so they dont't know he has a kid) nor force a parents-to-parents meeting. Which I'm very thankful for, and appreciative Even with this BFP, my parents said that it doesn't matter if they dont't recognize the grandchild, my parents will fill in the role as grandparents. I'm pretty sure my parents are a tad bit disappointed but thankfully, they love me a lot a lot.

    I dont't know if my dear told them about my pregnancy. I leave it to him. I mean, of course it does matter a little to me. But I dont't want to force him to do it if he doesn't want to. I also dont't want my in laws to be comparing my baby to the ex-wife's kid. Especially if my kid is a daughter (dont't know yet !) then it will be even worse (cuz my in laws are the super traditional and the favor boys over girls type).

    So between me and my hubby, he is aware that given the circumstances, I won't be happy if he meets the ex-wife or the son. Or at least, if he does so, let me know before hand. I know he has had met them secretly before. He is the kind whereby if he knows I won't be happy, why bother telling cuz will create even more trouble. And I also know it's irrational and unfair of me to not let him meet them especially the son. It's just too bad that i'm a very intelligent woman and I know how to "stalk" people online and that's usually how I find out!

    Ever since I got this BFP, I told myself that what he does with his past, doesn't and shouldn't matter. What matters is between me and him and this family-to-be of ours. Even if he wants to meet his son, I shouldn't get all upset about it. We also had an agreement that I should stop my online sleuthing and y'know stop being so obsessive about the ex wife and the kid - "My hubby said, just be happy during this 9 months and know that we have a family on the way. Stop thinking about the past"

    Anyway, just last night. I was doing some online sleuthing (I simply couldn't help it!) and found out that he may have met his kid recently. The keyword is MAYBE. It's not confirmed.

    It used to matter to me that oh my, this man of mine is not trustworthy and seriously, do I want to be with him given his past. But I guess as people say, love is blind and we have had happy years together. And hopefully many more to come.

    I guess, right now I'm asking myself why. Why am I still doing online sleuthing to find out about the ex wife and the boy is doing. Shouldn't I be focusing on this current present moment. Shouldn't I be happy that we're living happily right now and that all these stuff that is making me upset is "I've brought it onto myself". Also, I'm asking myself why doesn't he want to tell me that he met them. Is it because he thinks I will be upset and I need to be happy during pregnancy so he chose the coward's way out of better not say. Or maybe he never meet them and I'm just thinking too much and jumping to conclusions. Whatever the case is, I know there is no beautiful solution to everything, life ain't perfect. I know I need to let go and I thought I would be able to do so but what if I can't. And do I even tell my hubby that I went back on our agreement and did some online sleuthing...

    I took urgent leave today cuz I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on work. He thinks I took leave cuz I just wanna sleep in.

    I can't tell this story to my friends cuz it took so long to change their perception of him. For many years, I've always been keeping everything to myself. But just right now, I can't help but feel I need a listening ear. Thanks for listening to my lil' story. I hope you won't think differently of me after this story.

  9. #6209
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    Prayinghard: our difference is only a year but he doesn't look past 25...:x (that is with business shirts & tie, if it's casual wear he can easily pass off as uni student) so we can look 5-6 years difference when I'm in makeup+work clothes :x

    MissA: hahahaha made my noon! Lol well if AF doesn't shove her nosey face where she's not welcomed (go to someone who truly WANTS her to turn up!) by end of today (12am? What if it comes while I'm sleeping...sobs!), I may be able to do the flinging pads out the window thingy too lol Congrats to you though!

    Onto the topic of oral, we still do it during fertile period cos hubby loves it & his stand on this is, if oral can be an effective contraceptive measure then there wouldn't be that many cases of unwanted pregnancies... I thought, sounds about right & it's more important it's an enjoyable bd so... but I've read that saliva is bad for spermies indeed.

  10. #6210
    Worthy Lady tricky's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    oh littlej, I cant blame you for feeling envious or even jealous of your husband's past...I think to some extent we are all similar. I also used to stalk my ex bfs' exes to see if anything was going on. A few years ago I got crazy and because of suspicions, I tracked my ex's ex at the mall she was working at.
    I think that unless we are perfectly at ease, we woudnt feel the need to stalk or investigate.
    Maybe you would like your husband to be more transparent ? Actually I think he doesnt want to hurt you and will not communicate to you his whereabouts with his son and ex wife. But I know my father was in the same situation with his current wife and my mother. He never wanted to mention about my mother so my stepmum could have her peace of mind but then again my father had to hide to talk to my mum over me and my brother's sake. So my stepmum eventually wanted her part in and asked how was my mother in casual everyday conversations. They even met last year at my wedding and all is transparent.

    But all I can say is you have to focus on your baby, this is the ultimate highlight of your life right now. And your estranged inlaws will definitely feel they will want to meet their grandchild sooner or later. Also, how can they not like you if they have not;t even met you ? Some traditional folks are so unreasonable and judgemental, kind of ugly to me.
    Cheer up littlej, and we are all listening ears

  11. #6211
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    hey littlej
    my story is almost there as yours.
    my hubby is also a divorcee with many complicating issues that breaks my heart too.

    i suggest you go for counselling. although counselling is not foolproof that things could work.
    at least you can have a 3rd person perspective that can see the problem in you and the problem in him.
    and from there both of you improve each other for the sake of each other.
    for example, he meeting his ex wife MIGHT be his problem of choice (might be only).
    the counsellor will advise him from there.
    i believe your hubby is traditional type. not easy to "pull" him for counselling.

    as you know my hubby is 40. prob even more traditional than your hubby.
    i manage to get him to counselling.
    my friend shared her success story to me regarding her marriage breaking apart.
    that's how i decided to go meet her counsellor.

    if you want i can recommend our counsellor. she is very good.
    i must say not every counsellor is as good. my 1st counsellor made things worse!

    hugs to you...
    stuborn n naggy ^^ me the st maria online

  12. #6212
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    Littlej: I've replied to you over PM. HUGS!!!

  13. #6213
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Littlej, *BIG HUGS*!!! Thanks for trusting us enough to share your story with us...

    Like what your hubby says, it's now your time to have a family with your man. The truth is that he is responsible to his son, and that shows his sense of responsibility! He could have just brushed them aside, and say since custody belongs with the ex-wife, then that's her problem. Now, is that the kind of man you would like?

    There's always a silver lining, and two sides to every story, so you just need to look at the positive side!

  14. #6214
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    dragontail: i m not a veryy pantang person but like you, when it comes to pregnancy, i think it still better to be "obedient". lol my husband is those pantang kind everything also wanna ask kuanyinma. so i think he will keep me well in check haha

    tricky: good luck to you!

    gnissim23: yes she told me no caffein! luckily i dont't like coffee and tea and can't finish even half a can of coke on normal days. but i can't leave without ice water thou! i was thinking, maybe the japanese really take alot of wasabi since it helps to kill off bacteria? or maybe the things they eat daily helps to build immunity! maybe I should start passing my pads to my sis... lol

    littlehamster: soon will be urs! baby dust to you!

    ginnnsenne: lol please start packing them into a bag and wrap them up with ribbons! good luck and baby dust to you!

    littlej: sorry to hear about your story... but I am glad that you've lovin and supportive parents. pls take care of yourself and look forward to all the good things that is gonna happen when your baby is out... hugs!

  15. #6215
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    MissA: I've been running to the ladies whenever I feel something coming out from below to check! (Since morning it's probably 50times already, colleagues asked if I've an upset tummy lol) So far I'm still in the Hopeful bunch, praying it stays this way for the next 9 months!

  16. #6216
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej : *hugs* I agree with Shez. There is always 2 faces of the coin. Depending on how you would view the situation. I would think in the same way as Shez. That your hubsband is a responsible man. Esp when the parents of the ex-wife is gone. Maybe he feels he needs to help look after the 孤儿寡妇. I know you wun feel happy whenever he goes to find them but he is now your husband and you are starting your family with your husband already. He belongs to you and only you my dear ^^ now that you have a little one in you, maybe try not to stalk so much to make yourself unhappy.

  17. #6217
    Worthy Lady missA's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    @ginnnsenne: you r not alone... I have been going to the toilet ever so often to check. I think I will be paranoid until the day the baby is out hahah

  18. #6218
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Hi littlej.. your story makes me feels alot.. my hubby is also an divorcee with a daughter.. I can understand hw you feel especially your mother in law is those who shows favourtism to the ex. My mother in law n his family is also very close with the ex wife. (mother in law is a malaysian as well as my hubby) like when they came to singapore the ex wife will sure to meet her n ask them for dinner. Before me n him were together, they frequent meet up even after divorce, and my hubby still sub a credit card to the ex wife n also lie to me. I found out when I saw his bills. Somehow the ex wife also does not like me initially (now I dont know but we got talk), she will always say smth about me to him over many things n even my n him go one trip with friends she also say he go dont want bring the daughter go. Sigh.. alot of issues in the past to. As for them custody is 50-50 and my hubby gives her alimony every month.

    Somehow I agree that yes she does not need to meet up with the exwife n son both together. But did he like ever introduce his son to you? Would you feel better if he only meet son without the ex wife existance?

    Aniway yes you may be thinking all this, but remember to stay positive at least for the baby in you.

  19. #6219
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Littlej: pm-ed you... =)

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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    qinnnsenne - dont stress/ scare yourself unnecessarily... take deep breaths & calm down... (",)

  21. #6221
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej, hugs to you. I think its women nature to stalk online to see our husband's facebook etc, hehehe.

    But I feel maybe you can talk to him openly on what you prefer him to do. Like maybe bring you go meet the son together with you and without the ex-wife existence. At least, you get to involve with the whole thing.

    As for your in-laws, maybe ask your husband to arrange a meet up session, and annouce to them on your preganancy. I believe they will be overly happy and accept you very fast

  22. #6222
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Littlej - i do agree with shez, he is a man responsibility, aa long as he is purely to see the son n not the ex- wife

    Im also a divorcee but without kids.... n im the one who initiate divorce but for what i have now is a hubby who waited for me through the divorce process, and he was the one who guided me not to look back, treasure what you have now, and the future (your sticky bean)

    I know its hard not to think, say easier than to be done... but think about your new life....

    You have your own baby, be it the gender,

  23. #6223
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    Littlej: sorry to hear this but big hugs to you. Now your stage will have alot mixed emotions so dont't think so much! It might be the preggy hormones making you feel emo. Can't advise you much as no have such experience around me. Hope you feel better after talking to us.

    I'll be flying tonight. I think I will miss everyone and juicy stories here. Hehe jiayou to all!

  24. #6224
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    oo littleham going Taiwan? enjoy your holidays and bd sessions there! haha.. hope you can come back proudly and say your baby make in Taiwan.. keke (correct me if im wrong.) hee

  25. #6225
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej : enjoy ya trip k? and BD all the way~~

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