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We are trying to concieve-ing!

This is a discussion on We are trying to concieve-ing! within the Trying To Conceive forum, part of the You and Your Family category; hello & welcome vivitan both you & hubby are on the same page with having a 3rd child in the ...

  1. #15401
    Imperial Concubine happilymarried's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    hello & welcome vivitan

    both you & hubby are on the same page with having a 3rd child in the family? It has to come from both parties.. otherwise, it will be tough.

    i am not a mum yet, still waiting for my first to start kicking in my tummy, but i feel that you and hubby know best regarding your financial situation. There are also 1 or 2 ladies in this thread, who have parents and/or inlaws that are unable to help in some way or another. For me, my in laws love to help (my parents not the sort who help), however they are also old and they will not be able to help forever due to age. So i definitely have to cater for infant care and/or maid in future... perhaps you can consider pt maid to help out? see how comfortable you are with the finances for a pt maid...


    With age & also finances, are you prepared to continue with the pregnancy should the baby not be too healthy? Of course i hope you do have a smooth pregnancy should you conceive your 3rd child. But you will need to discuss these things with your hubby and get prepared.


    As for the gynae scare with your 2nd child, perhaps you can visit other gynaes this time round? There is another lady in this forum who also started seeing both, until she decided who she prefers. This time, you can pick a better one (based on recommendations or online reviews or even visit yourself to access). There are always bad and good gynaes around. If you dont feel ok with this one, you can always try visit another one until you are comfortable.


    What about your eldest daughter? Did you & hubby also seek her opinion since she is 16 (i think its the age where she may think her thoughs and views matter?)


    i had a long and painful and hard time conceiving my baby, so everyone's thoughts and concerns may be different...

  2. #15402
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Hi there vivitan.

    Personally I feel that this has to be a joint decision between you and your hubby and of course your two daughters. You know your situation best.

    If you were to ask me - personally I think your daughters will be ok with a sibling. ESP since your eldest is 16 and younger is 5. And I trust there are no hard "step parents" feeling.

    From what you are saying, it also feels like you and hubby want a child of your own but yet it also feels like you are not sure cuz you've cited so many factors on why you should diss this idea. If you really want something, you would make this work.

    out of the factors you've cited - docs, health, finance, care, age... I feel the most impt is age. at 40 - more tests and higher risk - are you prepared to accept the consequences if the tests are not ideal? Also, are you prepared to continue working until beyond retirement at 60 as you would need to support the youngest child? That said - I have had friends who went on to have healthy kids at age 40, 42, even 45. But they recognize that they probably won't be able to enjoy retirement years until much later.

    Health - I am sure you will nurse yourself back to good health if you are preggers. Docs - many docs in Singapore - you can do a review and pick and choose. Caregivers- infant care and nannies are options. Finance - yes a valid concern but again - look at how low income families have had many kids but still made things works - it's a compromise.

    I am a ftm. So maybe I am being too naive. =)

    Whatever your decision is - make sure it is a family decision. And yes always consult your kids. dont't leave them out.

  3. #15403
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    vivitan: i have middle child syndrome, so i am not good at advising you as such. i am not for 3 children family

  4. #15404
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    dragontail - hope your visit today with dr chew went well? =) did you also snag a good parking lot this afternoon?

  5. #15405
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Yes...I do know of people who are older than me and had gave birth even! Maybe I am not confident of my own health status.
    And yes...my hubby is very keen to have another child.

  6. #15406
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    today might not be doing bd.
    we happen to have an appointment after work today.
    we r tired max!
    told hubby let's bd early tomorrow morning.

  7. #15407
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    Littlej.. I attended wbb class today as well... Oh so many things to take note for breastfeeding..

  8. #15408
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Hi,
    Thank you for sharing your views and I am happy to receive them.
    Definitely my gals will want another sibling. My second daughter is of my current marriage and her elder sister dotes on her.
    My main concern like I said is health factor. ..other than this, there's also the tests etc due to my age..and of cos postponing retirement if there's really to be another child.
    I really appreciate all the replies I am getting and I am sure after weighing all, it will help me better in deciding.

    Please, you are not naive! Points you raised are very relevant.

    Thanks!

  9. #15409
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Congrats ebichan!! Yes yes its accurate ! So expensive stick not accurate throw back to clearblue! Haha. Aniway now scan you could not see anything yet. Wait another probably 2 weeks latee then go appt.

  10. #15410
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Quincy - should bd today since you got a smiley . Hahaha.

  11. #15411
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Thelay - hahaha I am unwrapping all my goodie bags now. Plus I signed up for Thomson Medical Center's FBI so even got more goodies! Oh yes I got wbb's books since I signed up for Thomson Medical Center's FBI.

    Dragontail - hope you are ok? *hugs*

  12. #15412
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Vivitan, take time to decide what is truly best for you and your family, without putting your health at risk or sacrifice.

    Quincy, I admire you! The only morning BD we have is early morning (ie 1 am, 2 am) or PH or Sunday mornings LOL
    vivitan likes this.

  13. #15413
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Little J, WOW I never knew got such as a hospital tour! In my case, everything will be done at Mt E. It's already been decided because my doctor in charge is there.

    Gnissim23, LOL throw back to Clearblue if not accurate ? I will wait for blood test result tomorrow...

    BTW all, I have an embarrassing question to ask. Do I need to check medisave or activate anything to prepare myself for pregnancy?
    To be honest, since I was married (in Japan) I did not update Singapore CPF whatever whatever yet. Wait later I dont't qualify for any cash/ medisave thing.

  14. #15414
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Ebichan - hahaha good that yours is all decided. I thought mine was all decided at glen e until I found out yaya chan was going on vacation for 2 weeks before my EDD! So I am switching docs.

    Ebichan - rem to check with doc tomorrow when she is going on leave.

    Ebichan - if you are working in sg - then shouldn't you have cpf and medisave etc?

  15. #15415
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Little J, yes have Medisave but is there anything to 'activate' ? Should I tell anybody my marital status changed as my ROM not done here so not automatically captured

    Sorry Im asking maybe stupid question

  16. #15416
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    Congrats ebichan!

    You do not need to activate anything to use your medisave but you may wish to check the balance if you would like to use it for hospital stay
    ebichan likes this.

  17. #15417
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    ebichan: i am very dry in the morning. only for t-tc then i do morning. i also dont know if i can wake up

  18. #15418
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    Ebichan: need proof of rom for maternity leave 4mths (2mth from govt, 2mth from company )
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  19. #15419
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    ebichan: i only know married couple with at least 1 singaporean then can entitle to all of the baby bonus
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  20. #15420
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Thank you all for patience to answer my silly sua ku questions.
    So I must produce my marriage certificate so relevant authorities can understand. I see.

    Quincy, you can go to toilet in the morning to *Ahem* freshen up and moisturise down there... of course, use only SPERM friendly goods

  21. #15421
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    ebichan: i hope i am not half dead tomorrow morning because my hubby wakes up very early

  22. #15422
    Imperial Concubine happilymarried's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    quincy - use pre seed in the mornings when dry!! heehee... bd morning is best cuz spermies are in best shape after a good night's rest! sweet dreams of sticky beanies and babies for you & hubby tonight!! =)
    quincy1986 likes this.

  23. #15423
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    ebichan - when you deliver you need to bring along the marriage cert to hospital (1 of the things to be packed). Medisave generally no need activation. you will have it if you are citizen (think PR also will have issit? this one i am not so sure).

    natalie - is there a min sum (total accounts) before you can start using medisave? i didnt know... let me research on that.. tomorrow cuz today super tired..


    I have been drowning myself in water... still feeling my legs expanding sideways due to water retention... how come so fast i got hippo butt & legs..

  24. #15424
    Imperial Concubine happilymarried's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej - hahaha... now your advice to everyone is to check when gynae is going on leave once hit bfp? lol!! are you enjoying wbb's books? How many books are there? I think i will have to buy them at her class... wonder if she will sell with discount... cuz fbi doesnt work out for me...


    ebichan - i am delivering in mount E too! just as long as my gynae doesnt pull a 'yaya chan' on me... hehe

  25. #15425
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    dragontail - have an early night & rest well! we miss your updates. take care & hugs!

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