littlej: i think you alone cant get him to make a choice.
of course i cannot assume your man's temper.
but you have also been with him for quite some time. he is most likely going to take you for granted and blow things up.
(I think you understand what I mean )
you might need an independent middle man to help, not only him, but both of you to see what lies ahead
at least infront of someone, he will be paiseh and not so insisting towards you.
if you have a common friend or better still, a common respectable senior that he does not see as a busybody
perhaps you r right that you shouldn't be feeling this way. but you r equally right that he should not expect you to be understanding everytime.
I used to go to church to learn that our feelings are god given.
dont judge my age. who am i? what i have been through might not be less than yours