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We are trying to concieve-ing!

This is a discussion on We are trying to concieve-ing! within the Trying To Conceive forum, part of the You and Your Family category; hugs hugs littlej. I agree w dragontail. hubby cant always put down everything and 掉头就跑 once granny calls. understand his ...

  1. #15876
    Worthy Lady wantonmee's Avatar
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    hugs hugs littlej. I agree w dragontail. hubby cant always put down everything and 掉头就跑 once granny calls. understand his need to be filial and that he's the preferred grandson but he needs to put his priorities right. if i were you id drop him a message telling him how you honestly feel. not expecting him to rush home immediately but he just needs to know you need him too.

  2. #15877
    Consort-in-Ordinary quincy1986's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej: i think you alone cant get him to make a choice.
    of course i cannot assume your man's temper.
    but you have also been with him for quite some time. he is most likely going to take you for granted and blow things up.
    (I think you understand what I mean )

    you might need an independent middle man to help, not only him, but both of you to see what lies ahead
    at least infront of someone, he will be paiseh and not so insisting towards you.
    if you have a common friend or better still, a common respectable senior that he does not see as a busybody

    perhaps you r right that you shouldn't be feeling this way. but you r equally right that he should not expect you to be understanding everytime.
    I used to go to church to learn that our feelings are god given.
    dont judge my age. who am i? what i have been through might not be less than yours
    Last edited by quincy1986; 01-09-2013 at 09:17 PM.
    stuborn n naggy ^^ me the st maria online

  3. #15878
    Worthy Consort Dragontail's Avatar
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    Happilymarried oh I got it now! Hee so it's FET. My sis was asking me "halo what is AET? Never heard before at all". Me malu.

    She has done FET too then, since her first ivf wasn't successful. The frozen embryos were transferred into her. Oh both her tubes are blocked. Doctor couldn't unblock the tubes at the surgery table because the blockage are very the uterus or something.

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    Consort-in-Ordinary quincy1986's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    fet - frozen embryo transfer

    wow ivf has its set of abbreviations too

    so cross-eyed since when i start doing research @.@

    Acronym and Abbreviation Guide | IVF.ca

  5. #15880
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Hi girls
    Just watched After Dinner Mysteries (Japanese movie ) it was really interesting !

    Yes Rakuten is an established site but you might get very badly translated English.
    dont't worry it's safe to use!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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  6. #15881
    Imperial Concubine happilymarried's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej - hope you are home after dinner? hope you are feeling better too? get snug in bed and watch a comedy or read to muffin? dont cry anymore.. but plan for a heart to heart talk with your old man okie? *many big hugs*

    dragontail - oh dear... both her tubes are blocked? i dont understand or know why and how it happens also.. its cool to be in 2ww together with your sis! its cool to have a sis! hehe...

    wontonmee - so every sunday, you just go 'sit there' for 1.5 hours? wah... i cannot see the point... your hubby is ok with zero interaction besides the open door hello?

    quincy - haha.. dont go into all the abbreviations of ivf ... you wont be needing it!

    jiayou 2ww dearies!! =)
    quincy1986 likes this.

  7. #15882
    Worthy Consort Dragontail's Avatar
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    Ebichan, it always tickles me big time when I buy stuff from Daiso. The English translation super cannot make it. Dont know to laugh or to cry reading them.

    For me I'm (in fact almost whole family is) watching soccer live now. Liverpool vs ManU! So exciting!

  8. #15883
    Imperial Concubine happilymarried's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    ebichan - thanks for the info on rakuten!

    rav - haha.. me on the site now.. i didnt know they do not ship to SG! need to pay first for a forwarding service... cost YEN 1390 = SGD 18.. fyi okie? hmmm, the stuffed toy i wanted is SGD 41... let me start browsing other stuff...

    dragontail - wah!! whole family including you into soccer? my hubby is mad crazy over soccer... hehe... he is die hard... even dragged me to his team's stadium before... he was so in sync with those english fans... haha

  9. #15884
    Worthy Consort Dragontail's Avatar
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    Finally I found a tv program where everyone in the family can watch together. Haha!!

    I grew up in Malaysia cup in the 90s. During the the M-cup, almost all my weekends were spent at the national stadium. I totally get it on 22 men against one ball. During the FIFA world cup in 2002 in Seoul, I was at pub after pub to catch the live with friends. When Liverpool was here in SG years ago, it was so big! Went to buy red shirt just to wear to welcome them at the stadium . I miss those days...I had so much energy! Now? Aiyo at home do nothing at 10pm I am already seeing stars. Lol.

  10. #15885
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Oh my. Here is the story of my night. i got home. Then got all sulky and crying. Old man called and I purposely ignored his 4 calls And smses. Next thing I knew he came home and caught me crying. He was quite surprised at my state and said he called cuz he wanted me to buy him dinner so he can Come home eat then
    Put me to sleep then he go grandmama house. And I was too hiccuppy to say anything (ya I did the super Taiwanese drama hum bao weeping - feeling sorry for myself). All I said was I feel like a second fiddle. And all he said was he is super hungry. House had no maggi mee too. So anyway to settle his stomach - I drove him out and whilst he go ta bao - I am in the car waiting.

    I feel kinda bad now.

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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    LittleJ
    hug hug! Are you ok now? Your hubby was concerned for you (thumbs up). My husband never asks me if I need food it's usually the other way around! Lol
    I think it's good you expressed your feelings and now you are quite emotional so good that he is being very sensitive to that, too.

  12. #15887
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    silly littlej so hurt still need to drive people out to da bao.
    I dont't wish to scare you now that you are pregnant.
    but many nights more to come for you.
    since you are still stubbornly trying to hang in there
    I will continue to stubbornly tell you, hope that you will one day fill numb about this when your baby arrives
    I once told hubby I was contented to be the woman behind him
    Last edited by quincy1986; 01-09-2013 at 11:36 PM.

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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Littlej: hey! R you home yet? Hugs hugs to you ok. Hope everything will be dmooth sailing to you real soon. Waiting for muffin to pop!

  14. #15889
    Imperial Concubine happilymarried's Avatar
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej - haha.. i think you caught him speechless... and the only excuse he had was his hunger... somehow i think men have a problem expressing themselves.. dont know why.. but i hope he did register that picture of you crying alone pregnant at 36 weeks!! he probably knows he has to draw a much clearer line in the next couple of weeks i hope!!

  15. #15890
    Worthy Consort Dragontail's Avatar
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    Littlej, awww a big cry baby tonight huh. You have us here ok. I know we cant replace your hubby . And I also know things can be worked out if both want them to. Take the night slow. Have a hearty conversation with the love of your life. You'll see rainbow in no time.

  16. #15891
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    sorry i might be a little harsh.
    i might not generally know about all men.
    but sometimes men and especially men of late 30s-40
    they can be "numb" to women crying
    it is especially so if they had once a broken marriage
    so dont be surprised if sometimes we dont get the comfort in return
    and yup if you dont say, generally they dont know what you r crying for

  17. #15892
    Worthy Lady wantonmee's Avatar
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    happilymarried yes you're right. I sit there for 1.5 hours every sunday doing nth but stsrubg st my phone fiddling btw facebook, mummysg and straits times apps. I dont really like playing games -_- and the occasional television (afternoon still okay cus it'll be repeats of tvb drama but mornings are boring with chinese cartoons! ). I dont get the point either except the consolation that its only 1.5hrs in a week so I just keep quiet and wait for hubby to zidong stand up and say 'lets go!'.. he also stuck to his phone like me haha. mother in law and sister In law can only bribe my boy with snacks cus other than that, he will ignore them anf play with the miserable number of toys they bought him which have already outgrown! well. 1.5hours only..

  18. #15893
    Worthy Lady wantonmee's Avatar
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    Littlej, your hubby heartache? heh. if I were you I'll purposely use the opportunity and cry harder and make hubby hug me tight! Both hubby and me are the stubborn type but when time calls for it, ill turn into a super 小女人 hehe.

  19. #15894
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    i have an emotional wound.

    i used to blame that it was caused by him.
    because this is a wound that can still hurt although the tide is calm.

    then i realise that in a relationship it takes 2 hands to clap.
    i allowed this wound to happen and he also caused me this wound.

    it may take forever to heal this wound.
    but i praise heavens that i am constantly reminded of how hard my hubby tries for us.
    ebichan likes this.

  20. #15895
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Oh yes! Malaysia cup! The era of fandi Ahmad, lim tong hai, nazri nasir, Abbas saad, alistair Edwards! I was in love with Abbas saad. I remembered new paper ran a pix of him in his underwear and I bought 3 copies of the new paper!!!

  21. #15896
    Worthy Consort Dragontail's Avatar
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    Whaahha I hope the talk on men chases your blues away, littlej! Yeah you said it....those worry free days were just awesome.

    Feeling at least a little better now, dear horsey friend?

  22. #15897
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    Re: We are trying to concieve-ing!

    littlej (stubborn silly girl ) ! better get something done about your woes.
    otherwise dont't stir up my emotional hormones. I want to get preggie
    (since you never say you r just sharing and dont't need advises)
    like I nag my friend till I vomit blood wakaka

    having said, I hope my feverish feel stop.
    Last edited by quincy1986; 02-09-2013 at 12:01 AM.

  23. #15898
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Thank you everyone for your kind words. We had a good chat once he has filled his stomach. He said his immediate reaction was to tend to his grandma cuz he feels he doesn't have so many years with her whereas he has more with me. To which I said "dude, you know women die during childbirth right". Anyway - he said he was a little surprised at my reaction cuz he thought I'd understand. I told him honestly I do - if I were him - I'd do the same thing... But I told him, the issue is - i am really tried of playing the second fiddle... And well he can't be superman and do everything and please everyone... Cuz it aint working. or rather, it worked cuz i was willing to give in but i am feeling very tired now. He said he knows and he is very appreciative. but he doesn't know how to go about doing it. He hasn't even played golf for 3 weeks - everything now is work, granny and me. And he is feeling extremely pressured. Like today he rushed to granny's place, brought granny to a&e, rushed back to be with me, then will go granny's place later. He doesn't know what else he can do.

    Then I asked what if I am in labor and granny call then how. Then he said he will call the rest of the family and get their help. But the minute muffin is out, he would do the necessary - count fingers and toes etc and he would wanna go see his granny after. He then asked me what would I do if I were in his shoes. And you know - I was quite stumped at the question. I told him honestly that I would wanna do both, I dont't wanna sacrifice one for the other cuz I know sacrificing one could also mean I might end up blaming the other... Then he said those were his exact thoughts.

    All we can do now is pray. Pray muffin will bake longer... And pray all will be ok with his family (and mine) when muffin comes out so he can focus. And I pray he fulfills his end of the bargain that he will devote more Time to me from week 36 onwards.

    It isn't easy. Do I think we need counseling? Sometimes I think yes. Cuz maybe we just need that third party to sort this particular issue out. But can we do counseling now? I doubt so. It isn't the right time I feel - not with me pregnant... And not with him feeling so stretched in all areas. Maybe this is just a rough patch we need to ride it out... And we will one day look back and laugh about it, or be amazed how much we went through together. Maybe this will one day be the cause of many arguments *touch wood*

    Nobody said relationships / marriage is easy right...

  24. #15899
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Quincy - oh no. dont't let my problems be your worries. Thanks for your listening ear... Go get preggers! Blowing hordes of baby dust

  25. #15900
    Imperial Concubine littlej's Avatar
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    We are trying to concieve-ing!

    Happilymarried - can you ship rakuten purchases to vpost Japan? Would that be cheaper?

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