Oh I fully understand what you r feeling. I struggled to give up many times along the way. My baby is 3 months today, I am just telling myself few moments ago that I have made the right decision to persevere.
You have done very well! You are a good mummy!
Why can't pump out during trip? Just pump out at hotel? Bring a cooler bag n bottle warmer? They are small items. In situations where you can't pump you can hand express in toilets. I did that once when I was at GP with my older son and q was long and i didn't have my pump. As long as you remove milk you will keep producing. you dont't need to sterilise equipment or bottles, just wash with soap.
Whatever decision you make, big hugs to you for all your precious efforts!