I feel for you... you probably feel trapped. =(
Have you considered giving your girl ebm, so the rest can feed her? I know you want to direct latch her as much as possible, but you may want to slowly consider introducing bottles n start storing already. One or two feed replace by bottles n ask your pils to feed. Otherwise when you go back to work, your baby girl will become too attached to you, it will be difficult for your pils to take care also. Must try!!! dont think already!! If you keep worrying about oversupply, things wont change!
N pls pls try to pump out some n clear 1 side before feeding. Cos i feel that it's true - baby will swallow more wind when they cry cos they choke on milk.
Did your pediatrician give your baby girl ridwind baby drop or biogaia drop during your visit? The biogaia drop is like the culture in yakult- good for baby's digestive system. Also, how often you rub the ru yi you? Hmmm... you got try that bao jing feng san also?
My baby was very colicky too. So i tried all of the above. Lol... I found her much easier to handle now.
I think you may seriously consider spending some times with your son. He may feel replaced n dont like the younger sister if you focus so much on the girl.
Hope things get better for you soon!!!