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Anyone without a maid but with a toddler and pregnant?

This is a discussion on Anyone without a maid but with a toddler and pregnant? within the Domestic Helper, Nanny and Confinement Lady forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Hi, dont't know what to put for title. So hopefully this will help. My new filipina maid came last Fri ...

  1. #1
    Worthy Lady
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    Mar 2009
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    Anyone without a maid but with a toddler and pregnant?

    Hi, dont't know what to put for title. So hopefully this will help. My new filipina maid came last Fri evening. Didn't let her do anything until Sat. morning. We instructed her and leave her a list to read what to do and let her explore the apartment herself to familiarize with the surroundings. We went out to buy her packet lunch before we leave her at home to let her do everything at her own pace. She was happy on Sat. On Sunday, same thing. But this time when we returned home, she has already packed up her stuffs and demanded to be send back to agency. I asked her what's wrong, she couldn't answer. The branch in east coast was not open so I called their HQ in orchard. She talked to one of the agent in HQ and when the agent conveyed to me what happened, she said the maid said she is happy with how we treated her and her job scope but unhappy that she does not have a room. What the heck! I am not proud to say that I let her sleep in the balcony. But the balcony is very private, we have sliding doors and huge curtains. So basically during the night, it is very private especially all of course return to the Masterbed room by 8pm! In fact, our balcony is bigger than normal maid's room! Not just that, I have ALREADY told her the arrangement DURING the interview and with the agent. She was alright with it then. We stayed in a 3-bedded room flat (5RM flat). One masterbed room, one room is for our child and one room we use as a study as my husband OT alot from home.
    I literally did not speak to her the whole evening yesterday and when she tried to apologise, she finally said that she made it up because she missed her kids. I WAS SO ANGRY. I did not scold her, shout at her or being sarcastic since the day she arrived even after she lied to agent. I just simply told her she should NOT have taken up this job and I will NOT take her back even if she changed her mind coz I dont't keep liars in my home. She can't find fault with anything and she came up with her own????

    Anyway, I'm just ranting here. But the main purpose is, anyone who has a pre-schooler and pregnant but without a maid, how do you cope? I'm not pregnant yet, but trying currently. Plus, I'm a little cleanliness freak! My first pregnancy I have low placenta and my cervix did not open during labour and I was rush for emergency c-section. Back then, the gynae already says that if I have a second child, I will be on c-sect again coz chances of the cervix not open during the second pregnancy is quite high since it happened with the first and that I cannot be induced. So I'm not taking the risk of VBAC. I have a young child to think of. So with my kind of cleanliness freak attitude, I believe I will be with my magic clean and broom most of the time. =P Is it possible not to have a maid during the second confinement period since it will be c-sect? I do not have any other help from either family except spending money and hiring one. Or should I take a part time maid plus hiring a conefinement nanny for six weeks?

    Anyone has this situation before? The pregancy part.


    P.S. I'm sending my maid back to agency later and not very keen in getting a replacement.
    Last edited by Eliza; 25-06-2012 at 06:59 AM.

  2. #2
    Imperial Concubine PinkDiamonds's Avatar
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    Aug 2009
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    Re: Anyone without a maid but with a toddler and pregnant?

    I'm sorry to hear about your ugly experience with your maid!

    My daughter was 8-9 months old when I was pregnant with twins. I did not hire a maid as I am also very particular about cleanliness and how things are done in the house. I feel that I dont't have the patience to train the maid and also dont't like the idea of a stranger living in my house with me.

    My mum insisted on hiring a confinement lady, which I think was one of her best decisions I succumbed to. Even though I managed confinement alone for my first pregnancy, I dont't think I could do it alone the 2nd time, especially with twins and my toddler!

    Recovering from a C-section takes a longer time, so I think you can use the extra help by hiring a CL. Just let her know that you also have a toddler at home and you may also need her help to look after the toddler. They may charge you a couple of hundred more because of this, but remember that the CL's focus will be to look after you and your newborn.

    The other solution is to try and close one eye to certain things. This is not easy, especially when you see somewhere is dirty and you feel that you must clean it up! I believe there will definitely be times when you cannot accomplish everything perfectly altogether, so it's a matter of give and take. I also hire a PT cleaner who comes by every week to thoroughly clean the house, so I just manage the cleanliness throughout the week more easily.

    Hope you have a smooth-sailing pregnancy this time round!
    More inspirations for mothers like you at MeaningfulMotherhood

  3. #3
    Female Attendant
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    Oct 2010
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    Re: Anyone without a maid but with a toddler and pregnant?

    I am so in the same situation with you!

    I am currently 7 months pregnant and my toddler is around 16 months now.
    He is in day care when we are working.

    Recently i decided to hire a maid because its tough to be working and coping with 2 young children below 3 years old.
    The maid came. All was good for around 2 weeks then she started to give pattern one night. Lies and everything. She has a room to herself and i am very nice to her. told her once she is done with housework, she can rest if she wants to. basically, she is all alone at home in the afternoon. but i guess, she is just not suited to work for us.
    Next morning, we sent her back to agent.
    For that week without maid, I went into a emo freak. Being pregnant and feeling tired and "handicapped" doesnt help. On top of that, I need to take care of my needy toddler. I am also a cleanliness freak and need everything to be clean and be in the right place. So that worsen things. broke down and cry a few times. could not take the stress of looking after a toodler, housework, office work, going on urgent leave, the problems of maids and being pregnant all at the same time. on top of that, we moved house just one week ago so i was adjusting to the new place etc etc.
    I am now waiting for a new maid to come in and really really hope that this time, the maid will be ok.

    i feel that life will be easier for you if you have a helper around. being pregnant and looking after a toodler is tough unless you are a stay at home mum..and your hubby can help you in the evenings (i.e he doesnt work late) and depends on how independant your toddler is. if not, go to just look for a maid and hope that she is more of a help than trouble. good maids are hard to find. for me, i just hope that the maid is ready and committed to work and can do her work satisfactory will do. no high expectations. scared of maids .

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