This is a discussion on Employing maid within the Domestic Helper, Nanny and Confinement Lady forum, part of the You and Your Family category; for me, i bought prepaid card for her. Firstly becos i need to contact her if she is outside with ...
for me, i bought prepaid card for her. Firstly becos i need to contact her if she is outside with my son (she need to send him to playgroup) secondly i dont have house phone. I let her call back her home town at least once a month. Recently, due to the flood at her home town, i let her call back again. It was me who ask her to call back, she didn't request to.
Acutally, it is not a must to provide, it depends. If my maid is not that 'good', i won't. So far, she never request anything from me, so i give what i think she deserve or need it.
For me, i dont keep it, cos my maid dont use phone unless by my instructions. It also depends on your maid's attitude.
My maid uses her hp w prepaid card, i dont pay for the card unless i sometimes can't reach her at hm then will call her hp. Frankly i really regret letting my maid use hp becos she tends to do things her way despite us telling her not to use the ph during day time so that she can concentrate w my kids.
Btw my sons are 3 yrs old n if i engage a nanny i have to fork out to $1k for 2 of them i tink so it's actually more practical to have a maid. now i want to change maid but my hubby refuse becos he's afraid the new maid cannot handle my boys n also if she will mistreat my boys..sigh
no matter what still thanks alot for feedback to me on your way of practice on your maid regarding my qns~ 1st time engage maid so kinda clueless dont know what r the things we need to pay for the maid~
now my kids piggy bank has discrepancies..im thinking of using a hidden camera to check what's gg on
She has been w me for 2 yrs and a half and this has already been happening very long time ago. i have already 'thrash' it out w her..if i can't tahan her attitude i will ask her to pack n go so she can't complain i have not told her about it.now her attitude is better i do not know is it becos she's gg back for her hm leave in 2 mths time.
But all i can said it's my maid is already 'spoilt' by me . Before my maid arrives, my mentality is already 'as long as my kids r safe nthing happens to them, close my eyes to watever' even my agent asks me to b realistic when it comes to hving a maid. that's y i have been treating her very well when she first arrives. it's only when i come across things which i have been repeatingly tell her that i have to tell her off..she gets defensive n raise her voice at me. Whoa i can tell you. im so angry and best thing is she does not apologise n just keep quiet.
btw if im not wrong you r a stay at hm mum rite, at least you r there to supervise her. For us , working mums is diff, i can't always ask my mum to come over n my mother in law is looking after my niece. So is really close 1 eyes at least. sorry if i bored you over all my frustration. But what im trying to say is for you at least is still easier to monitor her.
which is why 1st time employer shld never get a transfer maid. If you are soft-spoken & nice, dont't allow handphone or off-day at 1st. We think the maid will be "automatic" but it's not going to happen for some maids.
The younger maids tend to have a "bright city lights" attitude, so basically they're here to see Singapore & want a good time on off-day. Nothing wrong, except that some forget they also have a job or they have sexual relationships w sexually promiscuous partners. Or act like spoilt kids.
If they have a colourful lifestyle, they will need money to maintain that std of living. it's either stealing, borrowing or moonlighting (cleaning or prostitution) or boyfriend.
Your maid is so rude to you. She can only get worse, not better. If she's love-sick, expect total dereliction of duties.
I think yr agent is unprofessional. Instead of counselling maid, she tells you to accept arguing back & raised voice.
(I assume that you usu dont't raise your voice at her.)
Since yr maid's going on home leave, why dont't you take the opp to change her cos you have to take leave anyway?
BTW some agents charge on $188 for maid fee w no replacement. I think it's also good that you r not stuck to an agent for replacement. It's a matter of luck anyway. Just get fresh helper fr Indo. It takes about 1-2 month to select suitable helper.
Be a good employer. But always make it clear to yr helper that you r in charge & you will not hesitate to sack her if she does not do her job properly. remind her regularly that trust has to be earned & maintained.
I find it easier to start fresh & old habits just dont't go away (each acting stint lasts about 2-4 wks), so I changed my prev maid.
My agent is very good, he's just telling me dont be demanding becos she's new in singapore (not a transfer maid) advising me to be reasonable in certain things which i follow and also she's my 1st maid, i guess i have been too lenient to her since the day 1. But taking of 2 kids is really not easy somemore same age so i won't get angry if she can't finish her tasks.
I must admit i do raise voices to her when im really fed up w what she did but she will raise her voice to retort back..she's very defensive n prideful to apologise (this is what i dislike about her). Otherwise i must say she can handle my kids quite well. If not for this, i have already send her back. Before renewing her i have been debating whether to renew her contract and i eventually did so becos i thought i can 'tahan' her attitude but few mths later same thing happen. end up i 'thrash' out w her (sit down n have a serious talk) that if you continue show me black face when i point out your mistake or retort back i won't hesitate to send you back. I will ask you to pack n go so dont say i never inform you. These few times, she did control her temper n accept it when i point out the mistake.
However you r right, since she's gg back hm leave i can change another maid n train again. Hopefully, the new 1 will be better. (keeping my fingers cross).
I guess it depends on luck and trust.. My maid is from a poor village, but we treat each other like a family. Plus, she has patience too! I've had maids since birth, and i prefer them to be from the philippines! I wish all mummies good luck in finding a suitable maid!
But luckily for me, my maid has been really a good helper n been very "guai" not too sure is it bcoz she is new in SG as a maid ~ She was a transfer maid n been in SG since Aug but the previous employer got prob with her as she is not really good in cooking.
To me cooking or not isnt a big issue but rather taking care of my younger daughter n it seem like things been pretty good so far~ I really hope things would just continue as it is like now~ coz i really read so many mummies shared their experiences where they treated their maids well in the beginning n later the maid turn worse~ I just can keep my fingers cross
To b frank im sad too as she is my first maid n been w me for more than 2 ys the feeling is there. Furthermore her attitude has improved for these 2-3 wks. But i discovered she has slack in her work and to ask her to do things more thoroughly would prove to b diff becos she's so used to her current style. It's gg to 2 wks n my hand towel & toilet has not been washed . I always wait until she's free then she will do.
Anyway, good luck in your maid n hope she can maintain her good attitude & behaviour
I have an Indo maid and I give her one $10 phonecard a month (Chat Chat Phonecard) to call home using my house phone.
She wanted to buy a hp using her salary, I agreed and said that she is allowed to use it only at night after she has finished everything. That's usually about 9pm+. She is not allowed to use the phone during the daytime. I tell her the T & C before she buys the phone - if I catch her using the phone during the day, I will confiscate it. She has to agree before I allow her to buy the hp.
She does not watch TV (we dont't watch TV either) so I gave her one of my old radios to listen to music at night.
Other than that, she eats the same food as us (minus the pork), and I pay for her toiletries - shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pads.
Some of the things I do to "make her happy"
- Buy her one or two new T-shirts / shorts from the market maybe once in 4 mths (about $5 each type)
- Buy her cakes / buns every week (cost about $2)
- When she is out with us and we buy drinks, we also ask her whether she wants a drink.
I gave her $20 "ang pow" for her Hari Raya and I'm planning to get her a small X'mas present.
i just sent my maid back about a month ago, she was with us for about 4 months after the previous maid had some issues with her family back home we got this new one. she looked younger than 23 yrs old n first day she came i showed her a timetable for her to follow n basically only housework cos i'm not working n i'll b taking care of dear son and not even sterilizing bottles as i'm bfding. she ate what we ate bought her slippers n clothings when she came in cos she had pathetic clothings. paid for her toiletries n my mum would give her like $5 each time we go over her place. The hari raya came and she told me her family back hm no money for celebration so i told her i intend to give her $50 red packet n $50 from my mum but if she were to sent it back minus the remitting fees is nothing much but i can lend her money to send back first since she's still paying her loan. so i lent her $200 plus the $100 from su to send back home. from then on her attitude change she dont't do her housework properly n she slps at 9pm and wakes up at 7am. things not clean bowls with soap omg.. i ask her she told her cos i'm not watching so anyhow do.. that's when i decided to send her back cos i think with her i'll have to watch her and get angry everyday might as well i do things on my own. so i really dunnoe if we treat then well they may not return our kindness
I am a working part time mum. Like to check with you , do you need to get another maid because Are we supposed to stay with the agent for 1yr plus or so since the work permit for FDW is 2yrs.
Also, my agent says that as employers - we are actually report the maid to Agent to inform them OR else there will be a fine ( for sending maid directly home ). It seems under agent procedure, they must see to it that maid's work permit is cancelled ... and we pay the air ticket money.
Kindly reply if you just verbally inform agent of maid 's repatriation or
Direct send back to agent to do documentation / cancel workpermit.
my limited experience is that most agents have this "return clause" in the contract as they want to transfer the maid to another employer. Obj : to recover maid loan in full.
The contract usu states that you shld not jeopardise maid's chances of re-employment (ie you shld not be truthful)
Some contracts come with 1 free replacement. So we may stick to same agent for this reason.
If you repatriate yr maid when yr contract has this 'return' clause, you may not get refund of maid loan or may be fined (as per terms of contract).
If you have hard evidence of maid breaching contract (ie mental illness, stealing, etc), I feel you shld make police report, file report with MOM & insist on repatriation. Otherwise, some agents will focus on making commission. The maid has to pay 1-2 mths' salary for each transfer.
My sis 1st maid (myanmar transfer) drew MANY naked pictures & told my niece weird stories. We have copies of her drawings. The agent still chose to transfer the maid AGAIN. My sis was gullible as 1st-time employer - she was given same story - maid will be transferred to an employer with no kids or elderly, etc. I'm suspect they knew about her condition but withheld info.
My sis' 3rd maid asked my brother-in-law to change diapers TOGETHER while she's not in. .... Since seduction is not a crime, the agent transferred the maid to "take care of an elderly person."
If there is no maid loan, most agents dont't care if you repatriate your maid. Some will cancel work permit for you. Some will tell you to do it yourself. Cancellation of work permit can be done in MOM website easily.
Air tickets purchased fr agents may cost MORE. A one-way ticket (budget) to Indonesia costs about $90-110, excl taxes. Some may provide transfer services to airport for free or a fee.
Bottomline: pls check with experienced colleagues rgd your contract. You may have a better case for swift refund if credit card company is involved & evidence of breach of contract.
my sis & I have not't repatriated any maids cos we were not informed then & gullible.
Thank candy/ ping26/ ms chan
Very grateful for simple advice.
After gathering info, i realise that we must check "our limit" as to how much
the maid can stretch ... things we can close one eye to and things that we have to look out for.
My hubby, very kind, said all maid are the same, they come here to earn money for their family back home, as long as I give proper instruction, the maid will slowly adapt and follow.
men are like this. and we mommies r more fussy or even a little petty.
My brother-in-law thought his maid needed more time & was not 'keng' until she openly invited him to change diapers together. She liked/needed male attention (she is very pretty). She has caused my sis & hubby to argue a number of times thro very skilful acting. I helped packed her bag - it was full of "shopping" clothes and love letters.
My hubby also thought my conniving 1st maid needed more time, etc. he only realised the difference after we got 2nd maid. She was 3x better with housework & our lil baby. even though she did take things fr my sis place, we will let it pass.
Some maids dont't adapt; they are wired differently.
We adapt loh as long as basic chores are done properly. If maids can only mop floor & clean windows, i think we shld be hiring part-time help instead.
hi ladies, i have a dilemma to handle (even before my baby is born this Sept). My mum suggested that we should employ a maid to look after my kid. My EDD is in Sep 2010 and this is my first kid. A big problem is this maid will be without supervision as I will be working and my mum wants me to put the maid at her place. She will still continue working (7am-4pm) yet my mum claims she wants to look after my kid from Mon- Thurs.
My husband is very frustrated with my mum. He rather the maid stays with us, help me with my housework and look after my baby.
I was thinking of putting my baby in infant care. My mum rebukes and scolded us for being too simple minded. Cos she was told when the infant get sick or there's HFMD in the infant care centre, the centre will require the parents to look after their baby. Me and my hubby are first time parents. She was saying how many leave and how do we know what to do when the baby is sick.
I m in a dilemma because I am troubled with the fact that if I employ a maid, she will be left without supervision at my home or my mum's place. If I leave my toddler with infant care, I will have to stay put with my current job in order to get off work on time and pick up my baby. I have intention to leave my current job. Can anyone advise me what's the best alternative for my baby's care?
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I kinda agreed with your mum's thinking, as i myself also afraid that my son will get sick easily......then have to take leave on n off....(that happen to my sister when my niece was placed there)
since there is no one to help to supervise the maid, try installing a few camera at few areas, and let the maid know.
Or another alternative is to find a babysitter around your area.....i used to let my son take care by babysitter, pretty a nice n trust worthy one.....
sunshine07, if you were me, would you leave the maid and baby at your mum's place? I was thinking what if she wants me to install cameras at her place? Do you have any idea how much is it to install the cameras at home?