Hi mummies,

seeking opinions and views.. pls help .. thanks..

my parent FDW recently came in March 2013. She's a good worker from what I've seen her for the 1st month. Though I'm quite particular on how to clean up my room (i didn't train her how to), im quite satisfied with her cleaning, though not perfect. but i notice the lack in her work performance from the 3rd mths onwards. I like to pretend to go to sleep when my only child refuse to sleep on his own. FDW came into the room, set up her bed (as usual). But then i hear this "typing on keypad" sound. I didn't wanna think about she having hp cuz in her contract stated (my mom said she confess to the agency) that she didn't carry any hp nor does she wanna hold one. back then she use to ask permission to use the house phone to call back home.

fast forward to a month ago, i came out of my room and went into the kitchen, her reaction was stunned and her body language tells me that she's feeling awkward. What is she doing in the kitchen? well, she is cutting vegetables with her head tilted to the side touching the shoulder. Who would cut vegetables with head tilted to one side, touching the shoulder some more. Wouldn't that be really painful if you doing for long.

My mom confronted her and even show her the contract stating that there's no hp allow in the house. And my parent did inform her that if she wanna call home, she may do so by using the house phone with permission.

For me personally, if she was my own maid under my charge, i dont't mind she is using hp. of cos there's a limit to it or when her job is completely done . I dont't want my maid to be home sick and feel that she is in prison. But ever since my parent FDW has a phone, my room isn't as clean as it used to be when she is without a phone. most of the time when i came back home early from work or i leave the house early in the morning and came back like a few hours later, my son will still in his pajamas watching tv alone in the room with his breakfast on the dining table untouch. (typical me) i didn't usually will bring keys when im only out for few hours. my house is along the corridor. once i notice when i walk pass the window, she will be on the phone chatting. when i ring the door bell and calling out her name, i can hear the bathroom door close for that at least 10 secs and then open. so what does that tell me? i dont't care how she arrange my pillows on my bed or how she fold my blanket, my bedsheet (as i emphasize to her before) need to be change once a week. every sunday to be precise. sometimes she doesn't even change it. i can still see tissue paper stuck at the side between the two cupboard i have.

i know the FDW are there to help us with chores and taking care of the kid. Sometimes when I'm home on my off day, i will just make make my own and that's it. Leaving the rest for her to finish up. I notice, when she came into the room, thinking that she will sweep the floor, no she didn't ! so the whole day my room will not be swept.

sometimes i wish that my FDW pay will be cut a little as i will not want her to clean up my room or even fold my clothes. Just put it in the laundry basket and leave it in my room. I will do it once i reach home from work. but the pay cut thingy is totally impossible. But it doesn't seem fair to me.

i dont't expect so much from her as i did for my parent past maids.

should i confiscate the handphone till her work improve, or i personally control the usage of her phone. because typical maid will always gives excuse that she has stomach ache and need to go toilet. like on almost the exact time of the day. because definitely if i were to bring this things up to my dad, i will get the blame for it. as i have experience before with the past maids, i will get the blame or beating due to the maid's fault/mistake/lack in initiative.

what should i do? keeping quiet and trying to let go of the "piss off" feeling really making me suffer inside.

sorry for blabbering .. just seeking opinions .. any views will be acceptable with open mind