Hello... hope you overcome your problems oredi. Anyway, here's how i handle my maid:
1) food - I will let her know what can be eaten and what cannot. If he is a big eater, you may want to consider scooping out a portion for her. Like you kaya case, I have a separate container for my maid. So she needs to estimate how much to put. If she finishes before i go replenish, then she gotta eat plain bread
2) Greetings - I make sure my maid says hello or at least smile when she sees my frnes or relative. This is basic manners
3) Chatting with maid - relative maid is ok i guess but I prohibit her from chatting with outside maid.
Just my 2 cents worth...