My dear husband asked me to give her a chance, confiscate her hp till her contract over next year. Cos he pity her go back now, like no earn anything from wk.
This is a discussion on OMG, my maid just informed me that she bought a handphone within the Domestic Helper, Nanny and Confinement Lady forum, part of the You and Your Family category; My indo maid just got her pay on sat, she was down with bad flu, so told her, once she ...
My indo maid just got her pay on sat, she was down with bad flu, so told her, once she ok, will bring her to deposit in bank (just open the bank a/c last month). This is the 2nd month that she getting her pay.
She was a transferred maid, being with us for about one year. Ever told her, if she needed anything, just have to inform me, I will buy for her, I want her to save all her money and bring back to Indo.
She just knocked on the door and informed me that, while bring my niece to child care, she just bought a handphone. She said she wanted to use the hp to call her family. I had ever asked her before whether she wanted to call / write back, she said no need, now that she go buy a handphone so that she can call her family.
Last time my x-maid got hp, her family called and sms her day and nite. Even after midnite, she never off her handphone, put it on silent mode, charge it everyday.
Think I will have to fire her.
My dear husband asked me to give her a chance, confiscate her hp till her contract over next year. Cos he pity her go back now, like no earn anything from wk.
Perhaps this maid will use her hp more responsibly than the previous? And maybe she is starting to miss her family so she went to get a hp? I know you have told her to inform you but maybe she has forgotten?
If she is taking good care of the family and doing her job well, I think firing her is a little too harsh. Why dont't you wait and observe how she uses the handphone?
she was sick on Sat, Sun and Monday, I have been asking her to rest, doing house work for her. Even prepare her diner put on table then ask her to come out to eat. Bring water into her room with medicine.
I have repeatedly told her that if she needed anything, I would buy or pay for her, cos I want her to bring back her full pay. Agent also told me not to give her any money. If not becos she was sick, the money would have been deposited.
She could have asked me before she bought, of cos I would definitely disagreed, she could simply buy a phone call, yet she bought a hp.
Last time when my x-maid first bought a hp, she was kenna conned by another maid, in the end, we have to help her to get the $ back.
Think recently my maid too free, nothing to do, that's why come out with this idea of getting hp. In fact, in my house, besides sweep, mop floor and iron few clothes, she dont have much to do, everyday sit in her room to read magazine. She betrayed my trust .
I dont know why the big fuss about getting a hp? Give her a chance, maybe she will use her hp with more responsibility as she just wanna maintain some communication her friends and family in indo.
the big fuss is, before I employ her, already told her cannot have hp. And I have offered her many times to call or write home, she dont want. She has deliberately brought the money with her when she bring my niece to childcare and she already have decided to buy.
She has betrayed my trust in her, I am at home whole day, why can't she inform me before she did it since she know I very particular about it. I dont want to wait till she pregy then I regret being too nice to her. If I really fire her, she would be the first maid that I fired (i got 5 maids before including her).
Also angry cos last few days she sick, I have been taking care of her and doing housework for her, and yet she dont have the courtesy of thanking me once she is ok, yet can immediately go buy a handphone.
Last edited by MsKoh1973; 05-04-2011 at 09:08 PM.
Is she fillipino or ?
I hope my coming maid is not like that, I will be jumping mad...
she is indo.
Last time my friend's filipino maid also promised no handphone, then when they wanted to send her back to agent cos some wrong things she did, they noted the suppsely empty suit case got sound, the maid actually hide the handphone in between the lining ..... gosh.
you must be prepared , hp is quite common for filipino maid, when at agency, the agent called their hp so that I could interview them direct. Most of them also insisted on off days.
first maid w us for close to 7 yrs, she resigned cos her father found a husband for her (before she came wk for us, she just divorced and she got a son in Indo). She went back about 2 Ms then married, in the end, she divorced within one week of marriage cos her father cheated her that the guy was working and got house, but all not true. She called me fr Indon, req to come back to wk for me, but I already got another maid, so I did not't accept her. And while working for me, she also cheated me, like bring kids to playground so that she could chit chat w friends but left my kids unattended, I confront her, but she refuse to admit. Always on handphone, never off even at nite, sometimes the SMS and ringtone frighten my kids then she turned to slient mode, I even allowed her to practise her religious in my home cos I respect her religious, yet she stayed up till 4am in the morning then next day complaint headache. I even allow her to fast and help her with the housework and let her eat diner first during those months. Before she left, we gave her many things to bring back, but her bag too many, instead of returning those things to us, she choose to throw them directly into the rubbish chute, by then we found out, she already throw nearly half, asked her why, she said since we gave her, is hers to decide what she wanted to do w it. and becos of her frickle mindedness on whether want to continue to work for us or go back to Indo, we made new passport for her, yet she changed mind want to stay, dont want to stay, want to stay, in the end, I was called to Indo Embassy for interview to see if I maid abuse. In addition, during her work here, we bought for her 2-3 gold chains, braclets, rings etc. She got off days also.
now she went to wk in Hong Kong, occassionally she still called us to catch up w us.
2nd Mymmar, she was a transferred maid, agent told us x-employer dont want her cos she ate too much, we feed her 3 meals + 2 tea breaks, in the end, after about 2 months, she resigned cos she dont like the way my sister look at her, she SUSPECTED my sister dont like her. she also think my kid and niece dont like her, cannot accept her, still missed the old maid, but then of cos, old maid w us so long, how could we expect the kids just forget her so fast.
3rd maid indo, also transferred maid, agent said she req to transferred cos x-employer everyday play majong, let her sleep beside the toilet, very noisy, unable to rest, also no give enough food for her (she was quite big size, about 89kg). I took her cos I also very fat, so I pity her. In the end, she missed her family, faked sick twice, said got breathing difficulty, agent even asked me to call ambulance to send her to AnE. I told her to GP, doc said she more healthy than me, gv her multi-vit, within 10 mins of eating the multi-vit, she said she was cured. But on the 2nd time, she said she sick and couldn't wk cos she missed her family, req to go back to agent, hope can go back to indo. She dont understand, how would agent let her go back to Indo so easily, in the end, she couldn't find a new employer, agent told me, they "export" her to Msia to wk as maid.
4th maid, wk for about a year, also very nice to her, she quarrel w my dad cos my dad cooked too much rice for diner (I told maid to cook but my father love to cook so he cooked when she go pick up the kids). I told her nvm, she very angry, she wanted me to scold my dad, she kept requesting the whole nite like 4 to 5 times, so I ask her to kept quiet just do her own wk, in the end, she resigned the next day, said I never scold her, and was harsh to her tho is not her fault, so she cannot continue to wk for me. I gv her bonus of $50 to $80 every quarter she wk for me cos I pity her no pay and also to encourage her. I let her call home twice a month, in the end, thats what I got.
current one is my 5th maid, she was transferred maid, her previous employer wk in a bungalow, she in charge of cooking n housewk, agent said she was returned cos she couldn't get along with the and her cooking also sucks. For the one month in agency, nobody wants her cos she is really very dark complexion and looked very much like indian, but she got a smile very much like my indian good friend, and she can speak english and was a Christian so she could eat pork, so I took her home. At my house, she only help to bring kids to school, wash clothes w washing machine and hang dry, cos my family quite big, so many clothes to dry, we need maid so that throught the days she can bring in the dry one and put out the wet ones, during the day, nobody at home except my father, he will hide inside his room to watch TV. And of cos, she also do some general cleaning of the house, daily is sweep and mop, the rest of the more detail cleaning, I told her to do one room one day and just rotate. And my dad cook most of the time, so she is actually very free. Most of the time, she could spend 2-3 hours folding clothes, the house not very clean, but I dont't really bother so long as daily events are taken care of. Lastly, she also shower the kids. Actually she dont have much to do, everyday quite free, she wake up at 6.15am, and sleep at 9.30 - 10 pm every day. After she sleep, if things happen, like spill milk or what, we never wake her up. Even during her meal times, we always tell her to eat first, the rest can wait or we do for her.
Before i employ this maid, already told her cannot have HP, last week was the 2nd time she sick, previously when she sick, I was also the one who took care of her, cook porridge for her and do the chores for her. We never abuse our maids.
Last edited by MsKoh1973; 06-04-2011 at 08:59 AM.
I find it strange....What's wrong with a handphone? What handphone will lead to pregnancy or what? Imagine your boss telling you that you can't have a handphone and can't bring handphone to work. Maids are not modern day slaves, you know? They have feelings and needs to communicate with others. Imagine yourself in her position. Far away from home, ,no friends, homesick and no one to talk to. Like us, they need a social life. I'm not saying that she can yak and chat on the phone all day. Explain and give her boundaries and if those boundaries are breached then do something about it. Like Iris90, I dont't understand the fuss.
before i engage her, already told her she couldn't have a hp. do you have a maid?
Yes, I do and she has a hp but we dont't bother to ask for her number. And she has every Sunday off too. We tell her that she can leave at 9.30 am and come home before 10. She's normally home before 9.30 and she starts cleaning up my mess in the kitchen which I've told her not to do it since it's her off day. Btw, she's filipina too. She takes great care of my son and loves him. My mum's helper has a hp too. And she doesn't yak on the phone all day too. Her sister calls my mum's place a couple of times a week and we dont't care. She works well and looks after my niece great too.
then your so lucky, I never have luck with maid, no matter how good I treat them. Sighz...
I dont't think we're lucky. When we were interviewing our helper, we were very clear with what is acceptable and what's not. We put it our very clearly across to the helpers that we were hiring. We explained very clearly what we wanted and we even brought our 4 and half months old son at that time. When we interviewed our helper, we wanted her to carry and interact with our son. Apparently her employer before us treated her very badly and so when we hired her, she seemed very grateful.
I did the same thing also, even bring the kids to meet her, exaggerated the condition at home so that she expected the worst, and specifically told her what is not acceptable in our family, even the agent, the handbook they give and myself had told her that handphone is not acceptable.
Her work not very good, first few months she here, she never follow the routine I gv her, never changed the bed sheet, I did not botther to chx until my kid got rashes, we asked her, then she admitted. Sometimes on our way home, from away our block, we could see her standing at the window, staring out doing nothing.
She also dont sleep well, she had been talking, screaming in her sleep ever since she reached here, even frighten my xiao gu cos they shared the same room.
I think she sleep talk, her x-employer may not have returned her simply becos she can't cook.
She may think that I am nice to her, and cannot live without her. Recently, she also like to tell tales to my girl, I am trying to teach my girl how to shower herself, and she go tell my girl, when she can shower herself, her service won't be req'd. This was like two weeks ago.
Tho i have maid, but I always want to train my girl and nieces to be independent, every time I trained them, she would say something to them in private, like she is leaving soon etc, cause anxiety to my kids.
Actually you dont really need a live-in maid . Why dont you get a part-time one instead ?
Last time I need a maid cos of my dad, he alone at home, love to cook things then go sleep, he always think that he can wake up on time, even now, he still cook early in the morning like 2-3 am then go back to sleep for 20 mins while waiting for the porridge to be cook. Sometimes he go out of the house to walk, but forget to lock the door. Tats why I needed a maid, cos I dont want him to stay at home alone.
If he is alone at home, you call his handphone or house phone, he dont answer, even if you tell him again and again, he either tell you he too tire, or he forget cos watching tv. I even have a fire extinguisher at home becos of him. Past few months, he got very serious flu that he was warded twice in ttsh.
If not becos of him, actually, we really dont need a maid at home. My dad also like to anyhow throw things inside his room, we need to check his room everyday. sighz.............
Maid just told me, she bought the hp cos she missed her family, and she wanted to go back to indo, she want to use the hp to contact her family to pick her up at the airport. I asked her, if she want to go back, why dont't straight tell me, and few months back still ask me can recontract or not. She just tiam tiam.
Asked her when she plan to go back since her contract end only next Mar, she said leave it to me to decide when I want to let her leave. dont understand, why so good to all these maids, yet one by one dont appreciate, all want to go, my house got ghost issit.
No doubt got about 2 of them ever complaint about feeling it, but think just lame excuse for dont want to wk.
Today I caught my indo maid using hp. She was squatting in the kitchen using it and didnt hear me come out of my room. She is new! 1 month old transfer maid who had 3 previous employers within 1 yr+ in Spore. When she first joined, we told her no hp at home, but allow her to use hers during her off day - which is once a month.
Yesterday we let her go out and she bought it! But she lied n said she got it from her aunty. Last month told me her aunty went back to Indo. n now say this is another aunty. I checked her msgs! She msged another maid said she bought e hp for $100. Thinking where she got $! Coz her total cash she had wen she first came was about probably $50 and last month I gave her $20 (my husband said give her $10 xtra!) as she is still on loan. I also recently lost my $104 in my bag! Initially I didnt think it is her - thinking maybe I dropped it but now I am very suspicious it's her who stole it!
WORSE, she has a bf!! I read all her msgs!! This is bad! To bluff and lie! Esp. when we treat her nice.
When she was out yesterday, I searched her bag and found my panty in her bag!! Stained red! I think she wore it! My husband and I questioned her n asked if she stole it. She denied! Scary to take such personal thing of mine!
Will fire her.
ya, you should fire her, sent her back to agent asap in case she try funny things again, try to send her off in the afternoon so that you have time to chx her things, after checking her things, straightaway esacort her out of your house (in case she can hide the $ she stolen inside the toilet or cabinet if she forsee you going to chx her, since this is not her first transfer, then after you chx her, then she put the money in).
this kind of maid, agent sure will "recycle" her, dont know who is the next unlucky ones. I sure agent paint beautiful pic to you why she was transferred, just like last time when I took the 2 transfer maids, my agent said it was the employer's fault, dont gv enough to eat, in the end, my transfer maid also resigned. Recently I chx her WP in MOM web, after she got new employer, also wk for about few months, then left Sg. In total, she wk for 3 employers and spent less than one yr in SG.
Maid also been writing alot of things on paper. in behasa, so I cant read. She takes our kindness for granted! She has a husband and a child n yet can contact some man..
It's only sensible to fire her right!? Only thing right now is my health is not too good and I have no one to help look after my baby. The hsehold things can put on hold. Two days ago I noticed a bruise on my baby's thigh. I have no idea how he got it. But she was the one who told me also coz she saw me looking at it. I wonder if she's e one..
Last edited by JP12; 16-05-2011 at 06:43 PM.
ya, should fire her, since your health no good, is better to put household chores on hold, then to keep a thief at home, cause more worry. And since you have baby at home, she may poses more danger.
My x-maid also tell me, she used my hp to sms her dad, when I asked my colleague to read, is all, "I love you, bang, dont forget our promise to each other in front of the village headman" bah bah bah.
My latest maid who resigned last month, she said her bf already got marry after she came to wk my house, but, she never write or call home, how she found out, she said it was fr another maid fr her home town, whom she happended to run into the other day. And said the maid already rejected by employer and sent back to agent. Wow, so dramatic, like real.
I never trust maid, is only how high is my tolerance of their lies only. I always been good to them, but they never appreciate. So now I also MAIDLESS, since I stay at home, so I can "supervise" the rest of my family members to do housewk .