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Improving relationship with my teenage son?

This is a discussion on Improving relationship with my teenage son? within the Secondary School and Higher Education forum, part of the Singapore Kiasu Parents Forum category; Woww I'm the first one in this forum for sec sch kids. Let me start by asking all mummies: How ...

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    Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Woww I'm the first one in this forum for sec sch kids. Let me start by asking all mummies: How do you maintain a good relationship with your teenagers? Ever since entering the teenage years my son has little interest in communicating with me. Is it normal? I have tried having heart to heart talks with him but it just doesn't seem to work.

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Hi Mrs Ting, I dont't have any teenagers yet but i've worked with many of them before. So i can only share with you some of the reasons causing teenagers to drift away from parents. Instead of solving the problem straightaway, it will be good to identify what cause the problems.

    Common problems.(not statistically proven but these were based from my interaction with teenagers) Usually, they mention something along these lines. But i've kindda edit and rephrase them.

    1) My parents and I dont't share the same interests.
    2) Before i can explain A-Z, my parents 'shoot' my words/ideas down.
    3) They dont't have time for me so why bother to even talk to them.
    4) I worry about the expectations they may have set for me and i dont't want to upset them or make them think i am a failure. So to avoid myself in the dilemma, i simply 'avoid' them.
    5) .....

    Once you have identified what causes him to have minimal communication with you, you may want to start by analysing your role first (compare what you have done last time and what improvement you can make now), finding out his likes and dislikes and after that organise some activities that you know both of you can enjoy together. Normally, through shared fun activities, a person may start to ask questions or open up his/her thoughts unconsciously. That is a good start to generate a two-way communication.

    Hope it helps.
    You may be deceived if you trust too much,
    but you will live in torment
    if you dont't trust enough.
    (So trust your instincts for it will never lie)

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTing View Post
    Woww I'm the first one in this forum for sec sch kids. Let me start by asking all mummies: How do you maintain a good relationship with your teenagers? Ever since entering the teenage years my son has little interest in communicating with me. Is it normal? I have tried having heart to heart talks with him but it just doesn't seem to work.
    is that your only child?

    tats also my concern actually ~~~

    would like to hear some advices from parents here~~~

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTing View Post
    Woww I'm the first one in this forum for sec sch kids. Let me start by asking all mummies: How do you maintain a good relationship with your teenagers? Ever since entering the teenage years my son has little interest in communicating with me. Is it normal? I have tried having heart to heart talks with him but it just doesn't seem to work.

    My pre-teen doing this ... last yr, he actually treated me like enemy ...getting some improvement.

    dear son think mum is femaile, can't hug or kiss like what he did to Dad daily.
    Also Dad is lenient, doesnt press him on sch work, a person he can ask for free game time while mum 'law by law'..... Said Dad shouldn't sit back shake legs n let mum - son strained relationship.

    Maybe wanna consider getting yr husband to bridge like what I'm doing.
    Believe it is good to talk it out, rather then guessing. I'm still learning, trying to let the kite fly higher

    I try to use opportunity to stress my ways/discipline are out of love before he turns into a bad boy (eg cheating).
    Mummy of child with Angelman Syndrome
    Rare Genetic - deletion of Chromosome 15
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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Teenagers need someone to look up to and talk to. Sometimes they feel that their parents are unapproachable because their parents will 'judge' them.

    Think about yourself when you were a teenager, how did you feel? What did you wish your parents did better?

    For me my parents were lenient but there's a limit. They are supportive of us even if we did something wrong. Yes, they will nag and discipline us, but they will still show their support. And I had no problems telling my parents everything and anything. Maybe cause I'm female?

    But my brother was the strong and silent type. He does not tell my parents anything at all. Where he goes, who he goes out with, what is he doing, etc etc. Even he kena public caning in school, he did not tell my parents. But he told me, his younger sister. when it gets very serious, then i'll tell my parents secretly, but their reaction will be: "wah! he so notty ar? tell him dont make teacher angry already !". they did not hear it from him, so they pretend they dont know but ask me (who know about it) to go advise him instead.

    how you handle your teenager greatly depends on many factors.
    just bear in mind that they are growing, they want freedom, but they r not mature enuf to have obsolute freedom. set reasonable limits WITH them and they'll learn to respect you if you r consistent.

    and rmb, be supportive of them even if they did something wrong. be supportive of them even if they did not meet your expectations. be supportive of them and dont't judge them.
    and they dont like to hear repeats. just say what you wanna say once and make that impact. repeated nagging = ignore
    Empty vessels make the most noise

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Agree with Stonston her points 2 hands and 2 legs up!

    Personally, I have always been the strong and silent type at home cos all my family members are the 'judgemental' type.

    From my own childhood experience....Best is to be your teenager's friend, gossip with him about his pop idols, his friends, his teachers, his dreams though you still set rules and regulations.. Get into his facebook if possible, laugh, cry together with him...

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    my dear son is still young but will become a teenage very soon...
    may i know what's the age gap between you and your teen?

    for myself, when i was a teen i was also not in very good terms with my parents, reason as below, maybe you can use as ref??

    1) Both of them work long hours and on weekends as well
    2) When they are back is either they nag or scold and keep asking me to do housework due to their busy schedule and i'm the eldest at home
    3) My siblings is irritating so i dont like to stay at home looking after them
    4) When i goes home late (after 6pm, their benchmark) they starts to scold again
    5) They will call me every single hours to ask where am i, who i am with
    6) I got no one to talk to when i'm at home
    7) friends understand me more as they are fun not like my parents...

    So i hate to stay at home and dont like to see or talk to my parents back then...

    What i felt is that we need to make the gap between our kids and us to be smaller.. like what others mentioned, find out their interest and do things together.. talk to them like a friend instead of like a parent so they can easily approach you when they have prob...
    Know their friends and be friend with their friend...
    Give them more space but when too much, must pull back alittle...
    Check out what's IN for the teens now and go shopping together so you got topic to talk about..
    Be stylist... dont be like a 'lao gu ban' so they dont find you boring...
    After scolding them, tell them the reason so they wun feel that you r just venting your anger on them...




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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    wah....means if i have my one and only son do i need to work double to stay a good relationship with him next time? Coz he got no siblings ~~~

    being parents really headache ?

    i think girls tend to confide in parents more, esp to mums.....

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by wenz View Post
    1) Both of them work long hours and on weekends as well
    2) When they are back is either they nag or scold and keep asking me to do housework due to their busy schedule and i'm the eldest at home
    3) My siblings is irritating so i dont like to stay at home looking after them
    4) When i goes home late (after 6pm, their benchmark) they starts to scold again
    5) They will call me every single hours to ask where am i, who i am with
    6) I got no one to talk to when i'm at home
    7) friends understand me more as they are fun not like my parents...
    1. as teenagers, they'll never be able to understand the need for their parents to work so hard. in most parent's minds, being able to afford school and some luxuries for their kids is most impt!

    2. when parents are busy at work, they have their own stresses. when they go home, naturally they will want a nice clean environment to go home to. imagine being so stressed at work then you go home thinking you can rest but end up the whole house so messy! for my parents they know they cant expect us to do the housework cos we got so much activities, and financially they can afford, so they got a maid. it really helped cos when they come home, dinner is ready, they just sit down n eat w us. then they will spend time chatting with us rather than nagging at us to do housework. but it depends from family to family. if the family really need the kids to help with housework, chore lists, duty roster, and basic explanation of expectations will help the kids to understand the need for their help better.

    3. which sibling isn't irritating? hahaha! my bro n sis were irritating too! but i still lived with them it's a matter of having your 'own space' at home. i share a room with my sis, but day time she goes to my parents' room to do her studying/watching tv. me n my bro will keep to our own rooms when we r busy. we onli disturb each other when we are in the living room (means not busy). it's impt to give each child their own corner in the house where they can go to do their work when they need to n wont be disturbed.

    4. when you go home late, did you inform your parents you will be late? my parents always told us that it's ok if we are late sometimes cos movie is longer than expected or bus take very long, but once we know we might be late, we should call home n let them know n keep them updated on what time we will reach home. all parents will worry. imagine your parents trust that you will be home at 6pm, so they dont worry about it. but you never appear at 6pm, they sure worried. where is their precious gal? is she ok? did any harm come to her? you must understand your parents' thinking also. if your own child gets missing, will you be worried? as teenagers they wont understand that, but parents must verbalise it "you know you come back late, i thought some bad guy caught you?" or "next time pls call back if you r gonna be late, else we will worry about you and wanna go out to find you already". yes, limits and curfews are meant to be followed, but allow some flexibility at times.

    5. this i will say is the teenager's fault. i always tell my parents who i'm with and where i'm going. last time i dont have HP yet, i will give my parent's my friend's HP no. if i'm going my friend's house, i will give them my friend's house no. once they know where i am n who i'm with, they never ever call me. the no i gave them was in case of emergency. they know not to call me unless got emergency else will embarrass me (well, i emphasised on this when i handed them the no).

    6. there will always be ppl to tok to. it's a matter of whether you wanna give them a chance to listen or not. my mum used to be very busy n had no time to listen to me. so i wrote little notes to her. "mummy, today i got bullied in school by my classmates who called me names. i'm so angry!", "mummy, today my classmate fell down the stairs then injured her head, sent to hospital cos ambulance came". i wrote short snippets of my day so she is kept updated. once she's free, she'll ask me for details n updates. and it makes me feel better that i wrote it out instead of just keep it inside me. there was once i wrote this to my mum n my dad freaked out "mummy, i tink there's a boy in church that likes me. but he's very irritating!". hahaha my dad freaked out cos scared i got boyfriend but end up he encourage me to be with that boy cos he noes that boy is a good boy. but it did not work out

    7. friends will always be more fun. that's a fact. but give your parents a chance to do something with you. i've got students who hate their parents alot (every time they talk, it's screaming n shouting at each other). but when i asked them to bring their mums out for Mothers' day, just go park take a walk or go fishing, they came back with reflections that if they gave their parents a chance, their parents can also be fun!
    one of my student shared with the class that she thought her father was a boring old man who was onli interested in making money. when she fail test, he nag. when she do well in tests, he got no comments, never even encourage her.
    then she brought him out with her friend and her friend's dad to go cycling. she said it was so fun cos the 4 of them had a cycling challenge to see who can cycle faster and she saw e fun side of her dad when he tried all sorts of tricks to overtake them.
    sometimes adults r just to busy being adults n forget to have some fun. and to our kids, it'll make us seem so boring! but adults can be fun too, just rmb to set aside some time to let your hair down!

    bottom line, parents should try hard to win their kids over. but if the kids dont give the parents a chance, they'll never be able to show their kids the other side of them.
    as parents it's good to start family bonding as a habit since young. once it's ingrained in your kids, it'll stay with them for life
    Empty vessels make the most noise

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    wow.....i m having similar problem also....my dear daughter, 10 yrs old , very tempremental. if she is in good mood, she will tell you what happen in school, blahblahblah. if she is not in good mood, you ask her about school or friend, she will tell you :" aiyah, tell you , you also dont know!"

    have tried so many times to have heart to heart talk with her, but end up i'll b the one talking. she just listen , keep mum , sometimes tearing!!!

    i've encourage her to speak up about her feelings, not to keep everthing 2 herself, but doesn't work. i know if she go on like this, in the long run, she is going to suffer , she will feel miserable , or even hurt herself as a result of frustration.

    me and dear husband are really at our wit's end!

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by stonston View Post
    1. as teenagers, they'll never be able to understand the need for their parents to work so hard. in most parent's minds, being able to afford school and some luxuries for their kids is most impt!

    2. when parents are busy at work, they have their own stresses. when they go home, naturally they will want a nice clean environment to go home to. imagine being so stressed at work then you go home thinking you can rest but end up the whole house so messy! for my parents they know they cant expect us to do the housework cos we got so much activities, and financially they can afford, so they got a maid. it really helped cos when they come home, dinner is ready, they just sit down n eat w us. then they will spend time chatting with us rather than nagging at us to do housework. but it depends from family to family. if the family really need the kids to help with housework, chore lists, duty roster, and basic explanation of expectations will help the kids to understand the need for their help better.

    3. which sibling isn't irritating? hahaha! my bro n sis were irritating too! but i still lived with them it's a matter of having your 'own space' at home. i share a room with my sis, but day time she goes to my parents' room to do her studying/watching tv. me n my bro will keep to our own rooms when we r busy. we onli disturb each other when we are in the living room (means not busy). it's impt to give each child their own corner in the house where they can go to do their work when they need to n wont be disturbed.

    4. when you go home late, did you inform your parents you will be late? my parents always told us that it's ok if we are late sometimes cos movie is longer than expected or bus take very long, but once we know we might be late, we should call home n let them know n keep them updated on what time we will reach home. all parents will worry. imagine your parents trust that you will be home at 6pm, so they dont worry about it. but you never appear at 6pm, they sure worried. where is their precious gal? is she ok? did any harm come to her? you must understand your parents' thinking also. if your own child gets missing, will you be worried? as teenagers they wont understand that, but parents must verbalise it "you know you come back late, i thought some bad guy caught you?" or "next time pls call back if you r gonna be late, else we will worry about you and wanna go out to find you already". yes, limits and curfews are meant to be followed, but allow some flexibility at times.

    5. this i will say is the teenager's fault. i always tell my parents who i'm with and where i'm going. last time i dont have HP yet, i will give my parent's my friend's HP no. if i'm going my friend's house, i will give them my friend's house no. once they know where i am n who i'm with, they never ever call me. the no i gave them was in case of emergency. they know not to call me unless got emergency else will embarrass me (well, i emphasised on this when i handed them the no).

    6. there will always be ppl to tok to. it's a matter of whether you wanna give them a chance to listen or not. my mum used to be very busy n had no time to listen to me. so i wrote little notes to her. "mummy, today i got bullied in school by my classmates who called me names. i'm so angry!", "mummy, today my classmate fell down the stairs then injured her head, sent to hospital cos ambulance came". i wrote short snippets of my day so she is kept updated. once she's free, she'll ask me for details n updates. and it makes me feel better that i wrote it out instead of just keep it inside me. there was once i wrote this to my mum n my dad freaked out "mummy, i tink there's a boy in church that likes me. but he's very irritating!". hahaha my dad freaked out cos scared i got boyfriend but end up he encourage me to be with that boy cos he noes that boy is a good boy. but it did not work out

    7. friends will always be more fun. that's a fact. but give your parents a chance to do something with you. i've got students who hate their parents alot (every time they talk, it's screaming n shouting at each other). but when i asked them to bring their mums out for Mothers' day, just go park take a walk or go fishing, they came back with reflections that if they gave their parents a chance, their parents can also be fun!
    one of my student shared with the class that she thought her father was a boring old man who was onli interested in making money. when she fail test, he nag. when she do well in tests, he got no comments, never even encourage her.
    then she brought him out with her friend and her friend's dad to go cycling. she said it was so fun cos the 4 of them had a cycling challenge to see who can cycle faster and she saw e fun side of her dad when he tried all sorts of tricks to overtake them.
    sometimes adults r just to busy being adults n forget to have some fun. and to our kids, it'll make us seem so boring! but adults can be fun too, just rmb to set aside some time to let your hair down!

    bottom line, parents should try hard to win their kids over. but if the kids dont give the parents a chance, they'll never be able to show their kids the other side of them.
    as parents it's good to start family bonding as a habit since young. once it's ingrained in your kids, it'll stay with them for life
    But usually for teenage to understand their parents its only when they become parent themselves...
    i only came to understand why and the reasons behind all of the above when i become a parent myself and i had been telling myself i will not let this happens to my kids and will handle the problems from a teenage/kids point of view...
    i dont have communication prob with my dear son now, maybe he still young or my method works, i dont know... but me and him is always talking like 2 kids, tats what my mum and friends says... but i like it this way...
    but there are also times when i need to show colours to him and i'll throw out the I'm YOUR MOTHER figure and make him listen.... so far he is still respectful to me...




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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Agree totally with the need for parents not to be judgemental in their relationship with their children. They need time to grow and not be judged for every thing deemed "wrong" based on the values of parents.
    Thus the imparting of values must start young then when the children reach teenage years, I would pray that the foundation will help them to make better choices. It has worked for me for far...can't say it had been easy.
    I have 3 kids... in their teens and late teens. All still talking to me, and hugging me each morning before they leave for school/uni. But I think the trick is knowing when to let go (no matter how relucant we feel). Let go and give the child space to define himself.
    So values inculcation in their younger years is important, that's the only time they simply absorb and not protest. ; ))

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Hi Mummy,
    I have a 12yrs old son and 15yrs old daughter. feeling very stress with my son. Checking on him too often, he's now keep silent not talking much with me. Sms him after tution he refused to reply end up in shopping centre taking lunch..Meeting friend 3 hours early before tution start..
    I got no problem with my girl at all, altough still checking with her by sms she reply on time.( cos i am working mother)
    Wonder when i can stop worried about him..

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Hi nyrd, i think you should trust your son.. Have a heart to heart talk with him, but be prepared that he'll be non responsive? It's growing up stage.. I guess it's better to be a friend to your kids, in that way, they'll be closer to you! That's what my mum is to me and my sis!

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Hi just to share.. Im a single child and brought up by only my mother..

    When I was young, I was taken care by my grandmother and mom goes to work.. But after work would be around 10.30pm and I would have fallen aslp by then.. She goes clubbing almost everynite and comes back only in the morning when Im going to sch.. So basically I cant see her at all, not to say talk to her heart to heart or what.. But I do call her to tell her I've reached home after sch or she does call home to tell me to eat and stuff.. This continues til I'm sec 1..

    (I supposed to turn bad since nobody cares about me right? Instead I turned Anti-social)

    After I entered sec sch, Mum told me "If anybody finds trouble with you, come tell me, tell them your mum last time also lian." -.- But luckily I went into a good neighbourhood school with very strict disciplines.. But I do hang out with friends at Jurong Point at times to eat after school and stuff.. Mum bought me a HP at sec 2, so if I have CCA or Remedial lessons last min, can call her and tell her.. Im not sure about others but this is what I would do..

    (Since Im Anti-social, I have little friends)

    Even if Im at home after sch, no extra classes, she will call HOME to check Im home or ran out but Im always at home.. I just love to be home dont know why lol.. Maybe Im trained somehow mentally by the "after sch must go home"...

    Even though my relationship with mom is not very good at teenage times, I still be able to be obedient, unless she comes screwing me for a truth she doesnt know or what her colleagues children are (how clever or spoiled), I would talk back.. Seriously, I go home everyday after sch, how bad can I be?

    But the thing is that I dont have a friend to confide in.. That's why all the suicidal thoughts came in when I was 14-16..

    When only I've reached 19 or 20, then we can talk heart to heart after she changed job when I was 14.. after 14 yrs she didn't talk to me much and 6yrs of trying to communicate with me, we can then talked abit more, my life and stuff..

    Sorry for the redundant post.. but just to share..

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    Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    my son is 13 years old this year...his behaviour and attitude is still acceptable and am able to control his movement...

    me and my son are just like close friends before but i noticed that when he started sec 1, he talks a lot to his daddy in the car.....even though my hubby is much stricter with him.

    the only problem i have with him is that i am unable to get him to do well academically...just signed his CA2 and the lowest he has gotten for his history is 22 and highest is 75. The rest of the subjects are either just passed and Chinese 34.

    Somehow I regretted sending him to Normal Academic even though he is eligible to go to Express.....me in a dilemma....

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    hmm, not sure if im still considered a "teen" but ive had good relationships with my parents since young.
    i tell them everything and whatever happen in sch.
    if someone bully me, if i flunk a test in sch.they dont give me and my sisters pressure.
    they do ask us what we did in sch and stuffs. but no pressure on studies. they will tell us to study and explain this and that, but end up, give us the option to choose.
    so im always comfy in telling my parents about my friends.
    my parents arent the super fun ppl who will "play" and do silly stunts, but they are very funny ppl!
    they dont qn much on who im out with everytime, i make it a pt to let them know.
    i'll just tell my mum, im gg out with so&so, gg where(town, ECP, chalet.....) arnd what time will be back.
    tts when i was in lower sec. when im in upper sec, my parents stopped asking.
    its the trust they give, but sometimes, subconsciously i will just tell them where im gg. haha.
    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    not a teen liaOOo , Ting babe

    kiddin laa.....

    me when i was a teenager was quite close to my mum and not close at all to my dad....coz my mum is stay at home mum, prob tats why.

    so full time working mum must work extra hard to communicate with our child.....not easy.

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    hais cancan mum, i go club... bouncer ask me, how old r you? 16 ??? i was like -.-"
    my gf commented that when i bring pin out, is like a big kid bringing a small kid out.
    i also dont wanna be a teen nor.....

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    It is very tough when your child is in that "teenage phase". And I feel it is even tougher for a mum and a son to bond that much. But hang in there and be the best mother you can even if there isn't that much communication. When he grows up a bit more he will appreciate all you have done for him !

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    I would also like to highlight a few more points when communicating with your young/matured children based on my experiences with my parents. Mind you, my teenage years have long passed but the some of the ways that my parents treated and still treating me are really a big no-no as it frustrates me and is definitely widening the gap between them and me:

    1) dont't compare your children with other friends'/relatives'/neighbours'/etc. children.
    - This has become so prominent lately that I dread sharing, not to mention sad news, but even happy news with them. Everything is about whose child did what successful thing. While it's good to acknowledge people's achievements, but when it's quoted for comparison, it's not a good feeling for your child. They will cease to share things with you because they feel that you're always siding with outside people. I tried to make them understand that much as they're hearing the good things about those children, I am sure everybody or family has their own set of problems which you may not know about. Instead, mum will straight jump to defend those people.

    2) Have confidence in your children (even if you dont't, you should make them believe you do)
    - Drawing on my own experience, my mum would rather listen to my cousins than to me, be it planning for a holiday, searching for accommodations, visiting specific places, health issues, what should or shouldn't be eaten for their age, which doctor to go to, even down to what cosmetic brands to use. E.g. I researched on all the information carefully for a trip to HK and shared the info with her. She listened but doesn't give much comments. Next thing I know, she tells me next day that my cousin said whatever whatever places are good to visit (I was the one who told her all that) so we should go. When I said I already told her that, she still goes on defending and saying the cousin knows best (I have no idea on what grounds that cousin knows best). I said I wanted to go Ocean Park previously, she said it's too boring so I decided since boring for them then better not go. Next day she says to include Ocean Park in the trip because that cousin says she wants to go.

    3) dont't take your children's sharing of news/problems with you as gossip.
    - I recently shared some problems/updates about my work with my mum since she asked. Next few days, my aunties asked me about the updates. SIGHH I was terribly disappointed when my aunties asked me that as I have told my mum I do not like to share my personal affairs with outside people. So now I resort to not sharing my things that I hold to heart.

    4) Impart the sense as if you give your child freedom.
    - My mum has the tendency to call me to ask somethings whenever she wants. That has never bothered me too much as I reply whenever I can. If I am held up and can't get back to her immediately, I usually explain later. Anyway, whenever I can't get back to her immediately, she will keep sending me messages and calls a few times. Just a few weeks back, she told me that I need to reply her immediately. I got rather frustrated and told her there are reasons why I can't reply immediately, I am usually caught up in meetings or some other things, if not I sure reply immediately. She wasn't happy and showed it to me. I really feel it's too inconsiderate. Especially I am not a child anymore but a working adult. I feel that she should impart the sense of being more understanding (even if she doesn't) to put the person at ease.

    That's all I can think of for now which I keep reminding myself not to commit when I have kids in future.

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by momi View Post
    1) dont't compare your children with other friends'/relatives'/neighbours'/etc. children.
    hahahaha this one also happened to me when i was teenage... that time i always angry and bad me talked back to my mum "you adopt her as yr child ".

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by District98 View Post
    hahahaha this one also happened to me when i was teenage... that time i always angry and bad me talked back to my mum "you adopt her as yr child ".
    yeah, it's true though what you say. If they really keep idolising other people's kids, why dont't just adopt them. Imagine if we keep saying who and who parents the best, I'm sure they'll smack us haha.

    SIGH, I'm so stressed nowadays whenever talk with mum. Sometimes cry by myself after that

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    Smile Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    This time the teenagers are some rebellious, if you want to improve relations does not easily. Daily life detail should pay attention to and talk to him when gentle tone, best and ok with a friend's tone and he spoke, saying something more at ordinary times encouraging words, not blindly blame him. Want to improve relations can't worry, want slowly and his close distance, let him trust you, depend on you, as time goes on, your relationship will be good,last you can take some photoes with him.

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    Re: Improving relationship with my teenage son?

    Quote Originally Posted by zhj1681733 View Post
    This time the teenagers are some rebellious, if you want to improve relations does not easily. Daily life detail should pay attention to and talk to him when gentle tone, best and ok with a friend's tone and he spoke, saying something more at ordinary times encouraging words, not blindly blame him. Want to improve relations can't worry, want slowly and his close distance, let him trust you, depend on you, as time goes on, your relationship will be good,last you can take some photoes with him.
    I agree to these. Not easy to manage teenagers but I think if they can feel your genuine concern over them (not just as a mother/father figure waiting to find fault with them) they will open up to you and treat you as a friend. I have definitely seen a lot of these in my friends' parents when I was growing up and the kids are happier and willing to share everything with their parents without feeling the need to hide things because their parents focus on their feelings and solutions rather than just the problems.

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