How to minimize jealousy??

Selina_Fong

New Member
My first child is coming to 3 years old..expecting my 2nd one early next year. All this while, my boy has been enjoying all the attention and love from everyone in the family. I am afraid that after my 2nd baby is born, my boy will not be able to get use to the sharing of attention. :frown:
 

mae

Active Member
start teaching your son the sharing thing...& when the baby arrives, get him involve in taking care of the baby. Now im in ttc...I am already conditioning my dd's mind that when the baby arrives it's not the same anymore...telling her that we will both take care of the baby...& of course equal attention...or let the elder one understand that baby needs more care like how we care for them when they were still babies.
 

jeSsie_Dz

Member
first,Congrats!!!
n i agree wit mae~~
my dd n ds is 14mths apart ... but dd do act as a big sis~~
let ur boy know of a baby to b born,teach him to share even wit other kids outside.. let him get involve in ur buying activites for ur 2nd bb..let him learn by sharing things wit u or family members..
its true,more ppl tend to love the younger ones..but hor,my side here tend to love my elder one more still.. cox she can play n enjoy wit them le~~ lol..

enjoy ur pregnancy period..
 

AugBoyz

Member
start a craft with ur older kid. Like paint a picture or something to give to baby when he is born.

Buy those "I am a Big Sister" tee for her to wear. Let her know she is going to be a big girl soon after the baby arrives.

Buy a pressie for ur elder ger, give it to her when baby born n say its a gift fm the baby.
 

jeSsie_Dz

Member
start a craft with ur older kid. Like paint a picture or something to give to baby when he is born.

Buy those "I am a Big Sister" tee for her to wear. Let her know she is going to be a big girl soon after the baby arrives.

Buy a pressie for ur elder ger, give it to her when baby born n say its a gift fm the baby.
er... knock knock~~ her elder is a SON!!!
 
M

^Mami_Jazz^

Guest
My boi age is oso about 3 yrs apart.
Initially the big one really took care of the small one, everythg share but as the small one gets more fun to play wif, at ard walking stage, all the attention goes to the small one. Firstly bcoz walking stage more pro to falls, secondly tis stage is really beri cute ....so everyone in the family pays more attn to the small one.

Slowly, the jealousy grows ....my big one will say tat he wants to be didi, he will ask mi if himself is cute ... ask mi when he small tat time did he get the same attn blah blah blah

I am still trying v hard to overcome tis problem coz u can't stop others fm paying more attn to the small one & this indirectly affects the big one :bwacko:
 

Carole

Member
My boi age is oso about 3 yrs apart.
Initially the big one really took care of the small one, everythg share but as the small one gets more fun to play wif, at ard walking stage, all the attention goes to the small one. Firstly bcoz walking stage more pro to falls, secondly tis stage is really beri cute ....so everyone in the family pays more attn to the small one.

Slowly, the jealousy grows ....my big one will say tat he wants to be didi, he will ask mi if himself is cute ... ask mi when he small tat time did he get the same attn blah blah blah

I am still trying v hard to overcome tis problem coz u can't stop others fm paying more attn to the small one & this indirectly affects the big one :bwacko:
Really! I'm scared now.. My DD going to walk soon. So far, my son had not shown much jealousy. But reading what you've said.. yah.. I have to be prepared.
 

Catherine

New Member
I agree with Mami Jazz...the jealousy will not come so early. It will only hit when your 2nd bb starts to interact and becomes cuter as the days goes by. Jealousy will also be more obvious when they start to snatch toys and u have to decide how to handle rilvary too. Not easy but is a process to go through. I know of friends who is lucky enough not to have issues like these to handle but I can go crazy at times when both my sons start to fight etc. Some methods I use are to let the elder one take care of the younger one more often. E.g. I make it a point to ask ds1 to put on and take off shoes for ds2 when we go out & come home, or get ds1 to help with bringing diapers/change of clothes for ds2. Small things add up and let the elder one realise all these attention are bcos the younger one is not independent enough to do things on his own. They'll outgrow it eventually. Being jealous doesn't mean they don't love each other. They still adore each other but just can't share certain things!!
 

pinkieroxy

Member
My first child is coming to 3 years old..expecting my 2nd one early next year. All this while, my boy has been enjoying all the attention and love from everyone in the family. I am afraid that after my 2nd baby is born, my boy will not be able to get use to the sharing of attention. :frown:
Firstly Congrats 2 u babe!!! I've jus given birth 2 ds in May n I really paid full attention on ma ds without knowing tat ma dd is jealous. Till 1 day she went 2 de kitchen n she told ma MIL tat mummy is notty n took a fork (luckly nt knife siah) walk inside ma room while i was feeding ma ds she poke de fork at ma back, I shouted as I was shocked tat she dare 2 do tis 2 me... I'm so glad she did tat at me nt her brother... phewww then I noe tat I've lack of spending more time wif her. Nw after I came back from work I play wif her and always tell her hw much I luvs & cared bout her....
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
wah pinky, ya girl..WAH...but i guess kids r like tt..my cuz elder girl oso like tt..always wanna take attention away from her younger sis..cos everyone tend to be more amused by the younger one...
 

leesm105

Member
I have that problem too... since my 2nd -dd joined us last May. ds has been react very unhappy or jealous with his sis. So, he tend to bully her more then sayang. At times goes, dd grows up, now both knows to jealoes when the other party sit on my lap or both want dh to carry. (faintz...)
 

larkspur

New Member
Before my ds is borned in Jan 07, me and my hubby went around looking for a large sized talking Barney cos my girl loves barney. We told her that her brother bought the barney for her and how he loves her and she must sayang him. initially okay but after my ds born, she is very jealous that my mother in law carries him and used to hit him. We have to keep telling her that her little brother loves her and he bought the big barney for her and that he wants to play with her when he learns to walk. Keeps telling her that her brother says if she bullys him, next time he won't play with her. Keep repeating for 1 month and now she loves her little brother. Will help me to look after him by ensuring he does not roll off the mattress when i washed the milk bottle, bring and throw away soiled diaper, talking or sing song to him etc.
 

lml2402

Member
:err: when do we need to buy thing to tell DS tat his sibling buying for him? My DS turning 2 on Oct and I'm 4mth+ preggy, how to tell him he will have a younger bro or sis next year?? I tried to put his hand on my tummy and told him tat he will be big bro but seem he couldnt understand :embarrassed:
 

larkspur

New Member
my girl turned 2 years old when i gave birth to my ds. initially my girl does not understand even when i tell her about the little brother. She did display signs of jealousy like wanting to hit my tummy cos during my pregnancy, i couldn't play the usual with her like dancing and whirling her around, jump up and play and all the rough actions and she din like it when i dun play that. So she blamed it on my tummy. Everyone keeps telling her next time have di di to play with her. And when we went out for a stroll, whenever we saw little boy, we would point to her to let her understand. we bought the talking barney when i was around 8 months. When i delivered in the hospital, my hubby brought the barney to hospital and gave it to my daughter in front of my son. to minimise her jealousy, me and my hubby would focus a lot of attention to her and my ds poor thing, only have the attention of my mother in law.Keep telling my girl i love her and little brother. luckily she accepts the idea of a little brother very quickly

For now, find her too helpful until have to tell her brother cannot play with this toy, cannot eat this or that.
 

leesm105

Member
sigh...! now my dd that jealous whenever her brother come near me or sit on my lap.
She will quickily come to me, try to chase ds away by tap on him, if ds don't move... she start beating him or bite him...faintz!
 
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