Hubby giving too much to his mum

stonston

Well-Known Member
You need to drill this message into your hubby's head:
YOU CHOSE TO START THIS FAMILY WITH ME, PLEASE PUT IN MORE EFFORT & RESOURCES.
You've already given enough to your parents & you are just spoiling them to the extend that they don't know how to rely on themselves anymore. Can you provide for them FOREVER???

My hubby gets this very clearly. Our family is the one he chose to start with me, not his parents. He was born into that family - not his choice. As long as he has done his duty as a son, he should put HIS FAMILY first.
 

ihmdweh

Member
I suggest that your stipulate a fixed amount that you n your hubby set aside a month as joint savings. Any money left from your salary is your own $$ and it's up to you n your hubby to spend with qns asked by the other half.

Seriously, with a 5 figure combined salary I don't understand why do u need to scrimp n save. 2k a month savings is not significant which may mean that you n your husband have been spending rather extravagantly as well.

In my humble opinion ( no offense taken pls ) your husband is kind enough to give your parents 500 from his own pocket when it is actually your responsibility since you are working as well. I really do respect your husband to want to be filial to his own parents by providing for their old age years. Do not compare to his silblings as your husband is not forced to give that amt. Furthermore, if I were your husband I'll be seriously pissed with you for making a fuss abt the additional "$300" given to his parents. Cos this will never happen if the additional 300 is given to your parents.

My 2 cents worth
 
Tell your husband that you have your own family now and you should start saving for your baby's future.

If he continues to give his mom more money than you are then ask him if you can send him back to his mom and just support you and your baby. :D
 

QiangZai

Member
Tell your husband that you have your own family now and you should start saving for your baby's future.

If he continues to give his mom more money than you are then ask him if you can send him back to his mom and just support you and your baby. :D

Sigh... if your mum can take care and fed so many of you; you cannot even feed her?
Omg... saving for your baby is just an excuse... "do you want your baby to say the same thing back to you when he grow up and get married?"
do not do to one when you do not want to recieve it.

Saving for the future? but you do not know the future? why not work for the current and do good use of it.
Who is in need the most now? the baby or his mother?
Please...if you love your husband; you shld not ask him that and to do that...
Whether you believe in Karma or not; the karma will huant you back soon.
Money is more important or a happy family?
You can say that bacuse she is not ur mum and u hv not taste the karma yet..
 
Sigh... if your mum can take care and fed so many of you; you cannot even feed her?
Omg... saving for your baby is just an excuse... "do you want your baby to say the same thing back to you when he grow up and get married?"
do not do to one when you do not want to recieve it.

Saving for the future? but you do not know the future? why not work for the current and do good use of it.
Who is in need the most now? the baby or his mother?
Please...if you love your husband; you shld not ask him that and to do that...
Whether you believe in Karma or not; the karma will huant you back soon.
Money is more important or a happy family?
You can say that bacuse she is not ur mum and u hv not taste the karma yet..
Omg... saving for your baby is just an excuse...
So saving for your baby is just an excuse? Meaning you don't save for your baby's future and for the future expenses that will come cross when your baby is growing up?
And for example when your baby bumped into some emergency don't you think its good that you have money to pay for the baby's expenses or you should look for a way when your already in that situation? Think carefully what is more better? SAVING OR Going gaga when emergency is there and you dont have enough money for that expenses?

"do you want your baby to say the same thing back to you when he grow up and get married?"
Helping is very different from abusing someone from being kind and nice...
Its not bad to help anyone as long as they also help themselves :)

Who is in need the most now? the baby or his mother?
Her husband's parents got work and his husband gave him 800$ and was incompetent in taking care of the baby.
So they both had jobs ? Where in the part you get that "IN NEED" word?
While her mom that is taking care of their baby only got 500$ and was happy with that I think.

Please...if you love your husband; you shld not ask him that and to do that
I will definitely do that if i know that im right.. In my opinion, if i put myself in to charline's shoes i would definitely shout at him and would tell him that it is unfair.

Money is more important or a happy family?
You should know your priorities in life and most especially as what i have told you helping is alot more different from being abused.

You can say that bacuse she is not ur mum and u hv not taste the karma yet..
When I started my own family I rest assured that my daughters are my first priority in giving their needs and saving for their future, for their education, giving them food, and a nice shelter.

WHAT ARE YOURS?

Or you just think of it when you are there and having problems where to get money?
You never know what you get in future so its better to save now..

Have you hear of the story of "THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER STORY"?

Heres the link better read the story :D

The Ant and the Grasshopper - a fable by Aesop
 
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simon73

Member
My husband when he started working about 10 years or so ago used to give his mother 700 a month. Mind you, that was a lot in the past. I didn't say anything because that's is his money and he has the liberty to do what he liked with it. We were not married then too. Then, we got married and the amount reduced to 500 or something like that. Sure, I did think that it's too much. We have no kids and we dont't have dinner in their home. In fact we bring them out for dinner. So why give so much? And I didn't say anything. Hubby provided enough for the money. Yes, at that time, we hardly had savings but I kept my mouth shut. Primarily, my in laws paid for hubby's 4 years of education in Australia. And throughout the 4 years, he never worried about money. They paid for everything. He never had to work part time. And no, they're not rich people. Your average 4 room flat living in Bukit Panjang. They save and scrimped on every cent and penny to provide him that overseas education. He has a younger brother too. They made sacrifices for him and his brother. They've only taken the plane thrice. They paid for only one 'flight' holiday before hubby was married. And we paid for the other 2 for them to fly over to Hong Kong to visit us. I no longer bother about how much hubby gives his parents as I feel that they have done lots of him. And it is just gratitude that he's repaying his parents. By the way, his parents paid for a 30 table wedding dinner for us at a 5 star hotel. And they even gave us a huge red packet after that.
your hubby has a wonderful parents....it is a blessing for him.

My parents dun even pay for my education & expenses since i was born...but i stil give my father some allowance.... the world can be so unfair..haha
 
He is a good son.. aren't you greatful? as long as he can give you your needs its okay and for me its okay as long as we do not have a baby yet.
 

QiangZai

Member
helping the children when accident...omg..one do not even know the child will have accident or not,,,is that not an excuse? is one cursing the one own child?
Abuse? do one not 'abuse' one parents when young? asking them to buy things.. hahaha.. Giving money to parents is consider an 'abuse'?

Pls pls psl... one can convince the rest of one saying..but when karma comes.. there is no escape.. one cannot lie to karma..
 
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