I TRUST my partner!!!!

engel

engel

Member
Being in love and in a relationship is not an investment. Yes, I know that was in inverted commas and I know what you mean. But if one seeks financial security in a relationship I suggest one works hard enough, save and go invest in shares or property instead of a man...When you love someone and start a family with them, it's more like a teamwork. We communicate and work and help each other; to do that of course ull need trust... Situations?; it's Oktoberfest mth, he has a drinking event till late so I'll b home taking care of the girls, vice versa, I've a metal gig next mth which will end late. He's gonna take leave from his work to handle the girls then...this is called working together for our family, and i think he appreciates that I trust him enough on such drinking escapades as I know I appreciate him trusting me on mine...:)

Btw, topic on suicide victims suffering from depression. They did not end their lives just cause their relationships disintegrated. They lost it cause they are just weaker emotionally and mentally. There will always b relationships and marriages dissolved everyday, but you don't see each and every one of them dying..; and I think some of them would have loved the other party very much as well, but lived on.. So dont blame suicides or mental breakdowns on love, its the individual.

Early part of the yr, there was a news article about how men and women seek their partners; guys for looks and girl for how much their partner earns... I feel sad for them. Well if it works for them and their relationship lasts , great. If not, then I think those are what you had mentioned 'investment' .... Sorry I don't believe in that , neither does mamapenguin nor the rest here...:/

call us foolish, but we're happily in love with our respective partners and hubbies. When you give unconditional love and trust, ull feel good, loved and it's definately a load off your mind... And if... If shit happens, cause we're all only humans... Communication is the key, on where we would go from there...

Quit being pessimistic... That's what leads to suicidal thoughts..:)




eurekas said:
Her situation is very dangerous. She put so high hope that her husband is very faithful.
Let say touch wood, her husband can't resist the temptation.
What will she feel ? Some people can't take it at all.
This is life. Don't put all the "investment" in one basket.

Suicide victim said to have suffered from depression - Channel NewsAsia
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engel

engel

Member
Btw,

Hi ling.er.... Yeah trust gotta b earned and takes time..:)

Sorry can't read the Chinese characters though..
 
ling.er

ling.er

Member
engel said:
Btw,

Hi ling.er.... Yeah trust gotta b earned and takes time..:)

Sorry can't read the Chinese characters though..
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^^ it ok... Stil learning to trust.. Is very important in a relationship But somehw if dun understand each other also difficui..
 
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ast0212

Member
Eurekas, the link you posted talks about depression. Someone who has depression and commits suicide means that lost the ability to reason and find that killing themselves is the only way out of their pain. They don't see that they have a choice. They may even be having a psychotic episode at that time, no one knows because no one was there for them. Yes her marriage breakdown might have added to the emotional stress and severity of her depression but that is not the cause of it.

Depression is not easy to live with and the last thing these people need is for you to judge them by making assumptions that she "put all investment in a basket" therefore she killed herself. That is not the issue at all in this case. We should be asking ourselves why as a society we are not helping these people enough that they drive themselves to suicide?

There is nothing wrong with Mamapenguin declaring that she trusts her partner. Must we go through life always listening to people's complaints, worries and troubles?? With so many women posting about their husbands' marital unfaithfulness or even potential unfaithfulness, a post like Mamapenguin's is refreshing and encouraging. It is obvious that Mamapenguin knows her husband so much more than you do so don't judge her for it.
 
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noelsmum

Member
eurekas said:
The depression is come from unfaithful husband.



'Mummy keeps crying'
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I dont know how much you know about depression or mental illnesses. Most people who actually commits suicide normally suffers from mental illness such as depression. Yes, it's a regret that she did that. But have you considered that she's also a murderer? She killed her son too. It takes 2 hands to clap. It's not always the man that is always in the wrong. There are many instances that women cheat too. Eurekas, sorry if you have had a bad relationship or marriage but please understand and look around you that there are people around you that are happily married. If you choose to continue seeing men in a bad light, I'm sorry to tell you that you will never be happy in a relationship or marriage because you have already decided that all men are bastards without giving them a chance to prove to you.
 
Bayu

Bayu

Active Member
mamapenguin said:
I'm sorry some of you mommies have unfaithful hubbies. It must be heartbreaking. It can happen to a man as well, having an unfaithful wife. However, this thread is for people WITH faithful partners. They do exist you know, faithful spouses.

dont't worry about me. I'm not stupidly naive. I just have a super duper faithful partner. In return, I am equally faithful to him. How honest can one be, you ask? He called me from Manila to complain that some woman hopped in his hotel lift and tried to sell him sex. He called me from Bangkok and complained to me about how sleazy his male associates were for wanting to spend their evenings in girly bars. He would rather talk to me on skype in his room. He called me from Taipei to tell me about some Taiwanese model trying to pick him up in the bar/restaurant he was having dinner in. He told her he already have plenty of girls in his life. Two daughters and the mommy! To him, flirting equates cheating thus he frowns upon it. That includes smsing. My hubby doesn't go out with friends anymore. He prefers to hang out with the family.

I understand some people have real issues with honesty. It is truly unfortunate and my heart goes out to you. Perhaps there should be a separate thread for those who do not trust their spouse?
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Hi mummies…

I love this forum and this topic. I just wanna share my experience with all the mummies here... I myself is not an honest person last time..

I was involved with a married man but it was purely as a good friend…. He was having problems with his wife after a while.. maybe it was becoz of trust.. we both saw his wife with another man at a different time and location… and I did not tell him.. me and his family knew each other.. they got separated and he got the custody of their children.. coz the ex wife doesn’t want to take care their kids… so eventually I fell in love with him and we got married.. he is a sweet talker.. as his frenz cud tell him that he can make a bird fall down just to listen to him.. he went out with other girl frenz before after he divorce.. but I waited him to be with me.. and finally we got married.. and honestly he changed and I trust him whole heartedly.. my frenz used to tell me that if he can divorce and go out with other girls wen he’s with you.. he can do it to you also.. but no one knows him like I do..

I do have my own savings but her knows it coz he always update my bank book.. I trust him coz he is now a family man.. he rather save his money than going overseas with me.. so that we can go together as a family.. he dont go out with his frenz and even he does.. he will bring me along.. he dont sit at kedai kopi anymore.. he just spend his time with his family.. he gave up his racing bike so that I will feel save wherever he is.. he will show me how much he earned every month so that I know what we spend.. his only hobby now is fishing.. I dont suspect anything coz wen he go fishing.. he really look like apek going fishing.. there was one time I was having negative thoughts but to think again.. theres nothing for me to suspect him …

I know some ppl will think that I snatch ppl’s hubby .. even his ex wife too.. but I dont care.. I won’t comment anything about her.. its her opinion and mouth to say anything.. trust is from experience and from the love that we both share together.. and also commitment.. I got a lot of ppl saying bad things about me.. but I dont care.. I am expecting my 2nd child with him now.. and I feel blessed.. with another one coming.. we will have 4 children together as a happy family.. I love my family and I wont do anything stupid to break it.. God has given me an honest husband.. and I will cherish him for the rest of my life..
 
Bayu

Bayu

Active Member
apollo said:
VERY TRUE!!! depends on our OWN judgement. for those whose husbands are obviously lying and seeing someone outside, of cos cannot trust them BLINDLY. but for those whose hubs are not, why shd we keep having doubts and suspect this and that??
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i agree with both of u.. hehehe.. dun have doubts.. its not good to have .. tat is wat my muslim believe and i believe all other religions also..
 
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mic2

Member
mamapenguin said:
To the cynics, snigger away. I just pity them who have never experienced a liberating relationship of trust.

Actually my last two relationships were crap. They were with guys who did cheat on me. It is through such experiences that we learn. I learnt that I wasn't oblivious. That I was right when my gut instinct told me something was amiss. On their part, their lies were just too ridiculous and their stories did not add up. I learnt that I did not want that kind of a relationship. I am thankful that I did not marry any of them. I just found out that one of them is now cheating on his wife. I feel sorry for her. Maybe she never got to know the real him before committing.

I am so lucky I met my husband. To my cheating ex boyfriends, thank you for teaching me how to distinguish the good from the bad. And not to accept anything but the best.
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I guess she didn't learn her lessons. This are the kind of wife who let their husband think they can get away with things cos their wife are too trusting.
 
engel

engel

Member
mic2 said:
I guess she didn't learn her lessons. This are the kind of wife who let their husband think they can get away with things cos their wife are too trusting.
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I don't understand people like you who build relationships without trusting the other party. And you call that love? Anyways, who are you to judge mamapenguin or her husband or be it any other guy on the street... She trusts him. Period. That's what matters.

Maybe you skeptics should start another thread; ' I trust no one but myself!'
Have fun....:)
 
angelababi

angelababi

Member
oh ladies .. relax its just different people have different points of view thats all... anyway its good to see people blissfull in their marriage isnt it.. and if it really turn outwise .. maybe we will have another thread like engel said " I trust no one but myself " lolx
Anyway we should feel happy for others who is happy in their marriage and learn from those who had failure in their marriage too.. :)
 
engel

engel

Member
Hehe, agree with u Angela ... As well as we'll try our best to give emotional support should someone going through a breakup need...

K, I'm done being nocturnal for now...:) gd nite.
 
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noelsmum

Member
For those who dont trust their husbands or partners, I wonder if you have a happy relationship or marriage? Isn't it fraught with anxiety, worry and frustrations? Is it worth it? To me it's simple, don't trust, then walk away from the relationship or marriage. Why be stuck in a relationship or marriage that has no trust?
 
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mikki1980

New Member
engel said:
Gladly...:) consequences are having enough space to breathe and being totally comfortable with each other.....hahah...
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yea, good to hear that.

don't lives in a world of your own, open your eyes to see. if u don't take some precaution, u will be like me.

I used to trust my husband. Everyone say he is the perfect husband. Go work come home on times. weekend with the family. And i trusted him 100%.

one day, he forgotten to take his hp to work.

It rang many times and i saw it's from the name in hp it's a mutual friend who called him. i picked up the call, and to my surprise, a female chinese was on the other sode. she spoke in chinese and asked me who am i. I just say, it's a friend. He claimed to be his girlfriend.

My husband came back home after he remember he forgotten his hp. He knows i picked up the call and was very angry. I didn't even pick a quarrel and he started to scold me and other stuffs. He was very nervous and took the hp and left.

I was desvasted. this is my story.
 
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noelsmum

Member
mikki1980 said:
yea, good to hear that.

don't lives in a world of your own, open your eyes to see. if u don't take some precaution, u will be like me.

I used to trust my husband. Everyone say he is the perfect husband. Go work come home on times. weekend with the family. And i trusted him 100%.

one day, he forgotten to take his hp to work.

It rang many times and i saw it's from the name in hp it's a mutual friend who called him. i picked up the call, and to my surprise, a female chinese was on the other sode. she spoke in chinese and asked me who am i. I just say, it's a friend. He claimed to be his girlfriend.

My husband came back home after he remember he forgotten his hp. He knows i picked up the call and was very angry. I didn't even pick a quarrel and he started to scold me and other stuffs. He was very nervous and took the hp and left.

I was desvasted. this is my story.
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So what did you do next?
 
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ast0212

Member
I was wondering the same thing as Noelsmum. If you are not the kind to trust your partner, then what do you do? Check emails and SMSes? Follow hubby around? Or be suspicious at their every move?
 
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