Pls help...... I feel so helpless now.....

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littlematchgirl

New Member
Pls help.... I have thoughts of wishing my husband to be dead though I was never a violent person. The mental torture he has been giving me all these years is driving me crazy. He do not see me a person but as a dog instead, shouting at me as and when he likes, he doesn't provide for the family, out of job now and yet can gamble away whatever money and valuables he has left leaving us with nothing. We are solely depending on my savings which he doesn't have access to for now. Divorce seemed impossible as me and my kids will have no place to stay. Nothing seemed possible now. He is the worse hubby anyone could have. Can somebody who is going through the same thing give me some advice please?
 
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littlematchgirl

New Member
Don't think so. I have 3 kids. Nobody is able to house the 4 of us in a room. That's the problem, I can't leave as I have nowhere to go. I do not want my kids to wander around with me outside but I can't leave them with my jerk husband too.
 
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littlematchgirl

New Member
PinkDiamonds said:
perhaps u can seek some help from a nearby family service centre?
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Hi, actually I went to the family service centre near my place before but I feel that it's not solving my problem as they want me to go for counseling only. I went for a few sessions but realized it doesn't really help solve my problem as I'm not the one who needs the counseling. My hubby is the one who has problems and hence created problems for me making my life difficult.
 
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mtan

Member
littlematchgirl said:
Pls help.... I have thoughts of wishing my husband to be dead though I was never a violent person. The mental torture he has been giving me all these years is driving me crazy. He do not see me a person but as a dog instead, shouting at me as and when he likes, he doesn't provide for the family, out of job now and yet can gamble away whatever money and valuables he has left leaving us with nothing. We are solely depending on my savings which he doesn't have access to for now. Divorce seemed impossible as me and my kids will have no place to stay. Nothing seemed possible now. He is the worse hubby anyone could have. Can somebody who is going through the same thing give me some advice please?
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why can't u divorce him and get him to transfer his share of the house to u. then u will have a place to stay.

If u continue using your saving, then come one day you used up everything, what u going to do.

so better do something fast.
 
sueetchic

sueetchic

New Member
Oh dear. How old are ur kids? Are they in sch yet? Have u tried writing to mcys? Place ur kids in childcare while u work? At least u won't hv to depend on him and at the same time,kids are well looked after.
 
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littlematchgirl

New Member
mtan said:
why can't u divorce him and get him to transfer his share of the house to u. then u will have a place to stay.

If u continue using your saving, then come one day you used up everything, what u going to do.

so better do something fast.
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Hi, he will never agree to transfer his share of the house to me. I did told him that I wanted a divorce and he said go ahead but told me not to fight for even half of the house. I can take the kids away with me but not the house. He only cares about himself having no place to stay. That's why my poblem is so hard to solve. Even if I really do get half of the house, we will have to sell it and I would have to get a rented place. I know I do not have the means to rent a place in the long run. Bringing up 3 kids alone is really not easy and as I'm not working now, everything would have to start from scratch.
 
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littlematchgirl

New Member
sueetchic said:
Oh dear. How old are ur kids? Are they in sch yet? Have u tried writing to mcys? Place ur kids in childcare while u work? At least u won't hv to depend on him and at the same time,kids are well looked after.
Click to expand...
Hi, my youngest is only 3 months old. Whatever path I thought of taking, seemed like a big challenge to me. Sometimes I feel like leaving the kids behind and just leave as it's so much easier to find a place for myself to stay if I am alone but then again, how could I forsake the kids? That's why I'm enduring and enduring.
 
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Tannie

Member
Make him sell the hse and give u half the share, then rent a place fm govt, rental will be much cheaper. Otherwise try other family centre ....
 
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mtan

Member
littlematchgirl said:
Hi, he will never agree to transfer his share of the house to me. I did told him that I wanted a divorce and he said go ahead but told me not to fight for even half of the house. I can take the kids away with me but not the house. He only cares about himself having no place to stay. That's why my poblem is so hard to solve. Even if I really do get half of the house, we will have to sell it and I would have to get a rented place. I know I do not have the means to rent a place in the long run. Bringing up 3 kids alone is really not easy and as I'm not working now, everything would have to start from scratch.
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why u needs to listen to him. Of course he doesn't wan to give u anything.

If u get a divorce and he have to pay u mainatainence for the kids.

If he i not working, no money, the court might ordered a larger share of the profit of the house to you, as cover for maintainace.

For a start, u have to start a new life without him. With him around, even u go to work, u have to support him.
 
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Fisherman's Friend

Member
if you don't take the 1st step, nothing will change, maybe things may just get worse since he is already taking whatever he can find to gamble away now. Think you have to get him to seek help, if not, u gotta plan for urself and your kids. Yes it will not be easy like you said, but at least things will definitely be better without a gambler taking all your money and mentally abusing you.
 
missyqiqi

missyqiqi

Member
I agree with fisherman friend, if u don't make the first move, u will be forever stuck down there. If u are able to take the first step, then ppl will be able to help, otherwise u will be forever in this trap.

Always think of ur children first, their physical and mental growth is very important. Hugz, hope u will get over it soon.
 
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karoru

Member
dear, it is challenging to be in such situation with 3 kids. but if i m u, i will definitely want to make changes for the sake of my kids & myself. to start with, no big changes but just some "baby" changes one day at a time...
 
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