Nervous breakdown or depression

GKmum

New Member
Recently find that i have been losing my temper and blowing my top.
Really screaming and shouting, throwing things to vent my anger, kids got smack too.

Usually started by kids being naughty. But find that I spark out very fast and got super furious. My hubby don't help much with kids, their homework or take care of them. Was frustrated with him too. Completely ignoring the kids, sleeping if at home.

He's been like this since first son, so I'm kind of use to this. He's the breadwinner of the family, so I try to shoulder the responsibility to care for the kids myself.

I love my boys. But my ongoing hot temper may hurt them.

I cannot and don't feel safe to leave my kids with my inlaws. Feel more secure if kids with me.
 

Jamesbond

Member
I cannot and dont't feel safe to leave my kids with my inlaws. Feel more secure if kids with me.

Apparently they r not? With you smacking them and getting all worked up isn't any good for your kids.

Try no lessen your responsiblity towards them and bring down your own expectation of yourself.

Let your inlaws take care of them while you just do something for yourself.

There might just be too much resentment in you that causes you to experience what is the aftereffect of expecting too much from yourself.
 
Ya I think you might be too stressed up since you feel that your husband is not helping you which caused you to lose your temper easily. Why not try to discuss your current condition with your husband and how you think he should do to help you? I think even though he is the breadwinner of the family doesn't mean he should not care about taking care of the kids, sharing housework and your feelings.

Maybe u can talk to your friends or close ones too to let our frustrations or meet up with them just to relax yourself. Housewife needs to relax too and have time for themselves I believe. As for the kids, maybe can leave them with your in law or family for one day when u go out with your friends?

Or why not suggest to your husband to go for a simple date with you? Hope you feel better soon.
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
are u a SAHM? perhaps u can leave ur kids at ur in laws for a day or two to take some time off..
it's NOT good to vent ur anger on your children..
1stly, they r innocent... n being mischievous is in their nature.Afterall, they are still young.
2ndly, it will affect them emotionally n psychologically n will affect your r/s with them. they might start to be afraid of u n even dislike spending time with u...
3rdly, it is good for u to hv some "me time" to do what u need to do... go read a book, do some shopping alone, watch TV, slp/nap, take a stroll in the park.. it can help u to relax and calm down.
4thly, talk to your husband and let him know your condition. it is not healthy for everyone (u, ur kids/family) in the long run.

i think it is ok to leave ur kids with ur inlaw maybe once a week, so that u hv 1 day to yourself, to do anything u want to.. regarding why u dont feel secure with leaving ur kids with ur in laws.. well, i dont think they will do anything to harm their own grandkids ba.. =)
 

Alisa

Active Member
u should give yrself a break. nothing wrong letting yr in-laws taking care of yr sons during weekends, its only 2 days.
 
Recently find that i have been losing my temper and blowing my top.
Really screaming and shouting, throwing things to vent my anger, kids got smack too.

Usually started by kids being naughty. But find that I spark out very fast and got super furious. My hubby don't help much with kids, their homework or take care of them. Was frustrated with him too. Completely ignoring the kids, sleeping if at home.

He's been like this since first son, so I'm kind of use to this. He's the breadwinner of the family, so I try to shoulder the responsibility to care for the kids myself.

I love my boys. But my ongoing hot temper may hurt them.


Burnout is a syndrome of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and reduced personal accomplishment. Feeling physically and emotional exhausted, burnout people frequently cannot face the future and they detach themselves from interpersonal closeness. These will further into loss of enthusiasm, energy, perspective and purpose. Mental and physical exhaustion bought on by continued stress = burnout, without learning and applying certain coping techniques, can lead to clinical depression.
The key is to begin action immediately to take care of yourself and to reverse the burnout. Reflect and ask yourself when and how it begun? Is there unfulfilled expectations? Basically, rewards that were expected but not received, rewards such as happiness, praise and attention from husband... or maybe your expectation is too high.
Seriously, you need to have a conversation with your husband. Separate your marriage problems and the communication breakdown between two of you from when you need to discipline your children. Never discipline your children when you are angry. You may not able to control the physical force you land on them.
If you’re a perfectionist or having childhood issues, then, I suggest you seek professional help. There are many counselling services in the community and sometime you can free counselling services but you have to search for it using the search engine.
 

mo2xs

Member
you shld learn how to let go and trust ur in laws, let you in laws help you to take the kids, if not days, then few hours may be.
explain to them your current situation, and i believe they will understand and willing to help.
furthermoreyour kid is their grandchild.
you need to have a break, do your own things that you like which can make you feel more relax...by doing that ur mind will be clearer , free from the current stress.
everyone has a limit of patient...dont ever break them to your kids, as they dont know anything.
you are the one who should decide which one is best for you so u will not get angry so easily...
for me, i told my hubby that i need some myself time like doing exercise, boxing, or hang out with friend.
by doing that I can replenish my patience...and come back with fresh mind and smiley face in front of your hubby n your kid.
handling kids really needs lots of patience, and both parties shld work together.
i hope ur hubby can understand, especially he doenst need to handle the kids when you are away
 
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