100% custody

[wawa]

stonston,

yah. he can't come near us. He would say I got my hubby to support blah blah blah.. Right now he has been threatening me saying I deny him seeing the kids which I didnt and say he dont want to pay for maintenance. I only dont want him to bring the kids to other places without me around.

mich_liu82,

I never take maintenance for myself from him though he supposed to pay $1 (haha..) a month. He has visitation rights. But the problem is he doesn't want to come visit the kids but to bring them out to somewhere else like his parents' place and not allowing me to tag along.

 

[wawa]

mine is also paying at $500 per month. but is it true once he dont pay the maintenance he dont get to see the child ever again?

mine also $500 per month but is for 2 kids lo.. I also interested to know the answer for that.

 

[mag_huiling]

Just wondering how mummies out there able to get sole custody?

Im planning for a divorce with my hb and yet i want sole custody of my girl... any tips to share?

 

[wawa]

Just wondering how mummies out there able to get sole custody?

Im planning for a divorce with my husband and yet i want sole custody of my girl... any tips to share?

Actually I didn't know there is sole and joint custody till a couple of years ago (and I bet my ex also didnt know the difference, haha..), it was my lawyer who applied for me. He didnt has a lawyer so guess everything is done for my benefit?

 

[stonston]

it's best to consult a lawyer who is experienced in this area and has helped many mummies get full custody. a good lawyer will tell u exactly wot evidence u need to build ur case.

if ur hb still dunno u wanna divorce, visit the lawyer SECRETLY so tt he will be caught unaware n give u more time to gather evidence.

 

[wendyy]

Wawa, $500 for 2 kids is really very little. can i know how old is your 2 kids?

mine also $500 per month but is for 2 kids .. I also interested to know the answer for that.

 

[CJmom]

then my lawyer sucks. Keep telling me its IMPOSSIBLE not to let father have visitation right. I think they wanted to finish the case fast that why never help me fight. They actuali ask me ok with joint custody or not. I was like why should I have joint custody with him when he never DID any part as a father and husband. I insist firmly I wanted sole custody.

EforEileen , sorry to jump into this thread but wanted to share with you on not believing 100% what your lawyer says if he/she keeps telling you thing are IMPOSSIBLE. If it is impossible, then as lawyer we need them to fight till even black also become white. Otherwise pay them lawyer fees for what?

Reason I'm quoting this is because one of my gfs faced a similar situation. The lawyer her mom engaged also told them whatever suggestions they brought up, it is IMPOSSIBLE to fight so the whole case was dragged for years cos the lawyer everything also say she's on the losing end. Wondered if the lawyer is actually taking bribes from the mom's husband!

It was only recently that they consulted another lawyer who was really good and really challenged all those IMPOSSIBLES and fight for my gf's mom and was very supportive. In the end, they won and the husband had to pay for maintenance and have no share from the sale of their flat cos he didn't contribute a single cent.

 

[wawa]

Wawa, $500 for 2 kids is really very little. can i know how old is your 2 kids?

9 and 6. Got the maintenance order think at least 3 years ago. Is little but already struggling every month trying to get this miserable $ from him, cannot imagine if I ask for more.

 

[EforEileen]

EforEileen , sorry to jump into this thread but wanted to share with you on not believing 100% what your lawyer says if he/she keeps telling you thing are IMPOSSIBLE. If it is impossible, then as lawyer we need them to fight till even black also become white. Otherwise pay them lawyer fees for what?

Reason I'm quoting this is because one of my gfs faced a similar situation. The lawyer her mom engaged also told them whatever suggestions they brought up, it is IMPOSSIBLE to fight so the whole case was dragged for years cos the lawyer everything also say she's on the losing end. Wondered if the lawyer is actually taking bribes from the mom's husband!

It was only recently that they consulted another lawyer who was really good and really challenged all those IMPOSSIBLES and fight for my gf's mom and was very supportive. In the end, they won and the husband had to pay for maintenance and have no share from the sale of their flat cos he didn't contribute a single cent.

Actuali I opted for legal aid lawyer thats why i cant choose which lawyer I want. I think its because they are paid by the govt thats why they dont care much whether I got my custody or not or what I really want for my divorce. They are just hoping to finish the case soon so that they can take up other cases.

 

[wendyy]

does he still bring the kids back? can try to appeal if you find it very hard to cope with that amount of money otherwise will be too easy for the guys. Mine also like that. so almost every mth has to chase over him to pay up.

9 and 6. Got the maintenance order think at least 3 years ago. Is little but already struggling every month trying to get this miserable $ from him, cannot imagine if I ask for more.

 

[wawa]

does he still bring the kids back? can try to appeal if you find it very hard to cope with that amount of money otherwise will be too easy for the guys. Mine also like that. so almost every month has to chase over him to pay up.

i gave him all sorts of excuses to prevent him bringing the kids home. At the moment, he has never succeed and I believe it will remain that way.

Anyway I dont see the point of letting his parents to see my kids when they asked me to go for abortion when I first pregnant with my eldest and they have never help in taking care of them when they are young. Now they are big and easy to take care, they then request to look after them. Thought I am stupid?

I got to chase every month to make him pay. No chase=no transfer. *sigh

 

[mich_liu82]

mine is also paying at $500 per month. but is it true once he dont pay the maintenance he dont get to see the child ever again?

Its not true, even if he doesn't pay, we cannot deny access to him, he can bring you for breach of court order since he has visitation rights. Unless you are able to get a lawyer to help not to let him have access but it must be based with a valid reason.

 

[mich_liu82]

mich_liu82,

I never take maintenance for myself from him though he supposed to pay $1 (haha..) a month. He has visitation rights. But the problem is he doesn't want to come visit the kids but to bring them out to somewhere else like his parents' place and not allowing me to tag along.

I see... If he has visitation rights n access to the kids, he oso have the right to bring them out unless stated in the court order.

 

[wawa]

I see... If he has visitation rights and access to the kids, he also have the right to bring them out unless stated in the court order.

So even the protection order can't stop him? He used to hit me and the kids so I got it for all of us. I am worried that he will hit them again if I am not around.

 

[wendyy]

That's good. At least you can prevent the kids from going bck. I cant! everytime when my gal went bck, im very worried for her esp her meals.

ya exactly. some grandparent just want to play with the kids, asking them to look after like asking them to die lidat.

i gave him all sorts of excuses to prevent him bringing the kids home. At the moment, he has never succeed and I believe it will remain that way.

Anyway I dont see the point of letting his parents to see my kids when they asked me to go for abortion when I first pregnant with my eldest and they have never help in taking care of them when they are young. Now they are big and easy to take care, they then request to look after them. Thought I am stupid?

I got to chase every month to make him pay. No chase=no transfer. *sigh

 

[wendyy]

even if he is not spending time with the kid? he is supposed to spend time with the kid instead of the grandparent.

Its not true, even if he doesn't pay, we cannot deny access to him, he can bring you for breach of court order since he has visitation rights. Unless you are able to get a lawyer to help not to let him have access but it must be based with a valid reason.

 

[CJmom]

Actuali I opted for legal aid lawyer thats why i cant choose which lawyer I want. I think its because they are paid by the govt thats why they dont care much whether I got my custody or not or what I really want for my divorce. They are just hoping to finish the case soon so that they can take up other cases.

My gf's mom also went for the legal aid lawyer and got stuck with that stupid lawyer until they cannot take it anymore and decided to change one. Though it cost more, but in the end they get what they wanted.

 

[stonston]

RE: Lawyers
I think they are fighting for your lifetime happiness. Get a good one!
If money is an issue, as if you can work out installments with them or try getting some help from your family first

 

[pix]

any good lawyers to recommend though? my brother is also asking me to get a good one. how would i know which one is good? they always ask for upfront money all of them. the only one who didn't ask for upfront money was the one that my soon-to-be-ex found for me. it's really quite amusing that the person who committed adultery help to look for a lawyer for me so that i can divorce him. what kind of wife am i that he's so eager to be rid of me??