14-month-old refuses to sleep in cot

[cmeilim]

For the past three nites, my 14-month-old boy has refused to sleep in his cot at home, be it during daytime nap or nighttime sleep. He never used to have this problem.

Before this, we had slept over at my mum's place for three nites last week when our flat was undergoing some renovations. At my mum's place, he napped in his cot in the daytime and slept on a mattress on the floor at night and slept relatively well. But when we came back home, his cot rejection begun and every night, he would rather scream for 45min to 1hr straight in his cot if we did not carry him out. For the first night, I relented and let him sleep in our bed with us, but given his thrashing 360-degree style of sleeping, it meant DH and I got no sleep. For the next two nights, it was rounds and rounds of wailing and screaming till he got really tired. Last night, because he cried so much, even after he finally got tired enough to sleep, he didn't sleep peacefully and had short bouts of whining in his sleep.

DH is of the view that DS is just being playful and asserting his stubborn streak in a very persistent manner, that it is not because of some nightmare or any fear of the cot, and that we shouldn't give in to him by letting him sleep in our bed lest it becomes an entrenched habit. Although DS has clearly shown signs of clinginess and separation anxiety recently, this recent round of cot rejection has come totally new and caught us by surprise since he used to be able to play, nap and sleep in his cot on his own without any problems. But for the past three nites, be it after DH has patted him to sleep in his arms or I have nursed him to sleep, the moment we land him in his cot, he would wake up and the screaming and struggling would begin.

Any mummies' toddlers experienced similar situation as above and if so, how old was your child when it happened? Did you manage to find out the cause(s) for it? How did you get around the problem?

Although I have heard of more cases of toddlers experiencing adjustment issues moving from cot to bed/mattress, I am wondering if DS has just outgrown his cot or he is truly being wilful/playful as DH thinks.

Any advice or sharing will be much appreciated by two sleep-deprived parents!!!

 

[jojoki]

I kind of agree with ur hubs. Net, the moment she hit 13 mths showed many signs of power struggle. Although we had no cot issue since we co sleep, but she resisted to many usual patterns. She even chooses her clothes and shoes now!!

give him some time, patience and reassurance. If you plan to give him his own bed, u may wanna consider giving him now? Also is the cot too small fr him?

my two cents.. tc!

 

[diymummy]

Does your son have any issues if he naps on a mattress instead of a cot?

Is he fussing because he wants someone to accompany him to bed? Or is he fussing because he prefers sleeping on a mattress?

I have a friend whose son refused to sleep in his cot after a night of co-sleeping. They then dismantled the cot and their son is now sleeping on a queen sized mattress on the floor.

They found out that the fussing was not because he wanted someone to accompany him to bed, but rather found that sleeping on a spring mattress was much for comfortable and would very much prefer to sleep on one.

 

[cmeilim]

I kind of agree with your hubs. Net, the moment she hit 13 mths showed many signs of power struggle. Although we had no cot issue since we co sleep, but she resisted to many usual patterns. She even chooses her clothes and shoes now!!

give him some time, patience and reassurance. If you plan to give him his own bed, you may wanna consider giving him now? Also is the cot too small fr him?

my two cents.. tc!

DH feels that at his age now, it's still safer to have him sleep in the cot rather than on a mattress on the floor in case he rolls himself off the mattress and hits the floor or worse still wakes up in the middle of the night and start wandering around on his own.

the cot is still big enough for him as long as he sleeps lengthwise. but he will hit the slats if he tries to turn 90-degree.

 

[cmeilim]

Does your son have any issues if he naps on a mattress instead of a cot?

Is he fussing because he wants someone to accompany him to bed? Or is he fussing because he prefers sleeping on a mattress?

I have a friend whose son refused to sleep in his cot after a night of co-sleeping. They then dismantled the cot and their son is now sleeping on a queen sized mattress on the floor.

They found out that the fussing was not because he wanted someone to accompany him to bed, but rather found that sleeping on a spring mattress was much for comfortable and would very much prefer to sleep on one.

we have not let him nap in a mattress yet, so can't tell....i guess we have to keep trying to isolate what the reason for his cot rejection is. Eg, whether it is cos he wants company or he prefers sleeping on a mattress. DH says to try another two more nites of putting him in the cot to sleep at nite. If still no success, we will try the mattress this weekend and dismantle the cot. =/

 

[apollo]

ds has this pro since very young so all the while he has been slping with us, beside my hub.

until 1-2mths ago, we decided to let him slp/nap the floor with mattress. but currently, hub is still slping with him every night if not he will wake up at midnight at stand by our side, and even cry badly.. not only that, he often fell from bed in the morning! so we tot slping on the floor might be safer though our room is full of things..

during the start of introducing mattress, he not used to it and keep trying to climb up the bed. and we have the same wry, scare he will wake up midnight and crawl ard playing or roll on the floor. but i can tell u, if ur son wakes up, u will also wake up automatically. no chance for him to goes ard the room w/o u knowing. tt's what happen to us. maybe becos ds is wearing bell bell anklet.. haha!

since he is okay with slping mattress at ur mum's place, no harm trying =)

 

[annie]

can your cot be convert into a toddler bed? (eg remove only 1 side of the cot). my girl has this problem of staying asleep in her cot after 5am (her first wake) when she was about 10mths or so.. she will wake up every 1hr after 5 am feed and i got really tired so this is what i did.. Our Precious Princess!: Koala Bear

she also sleeps terribly (360 degree) but with this, i can sleep much more peacefully since i dun need to worry she will fall off the bed, crush by hubby etc.. though sometimes i still get slap/kick by her hehe. but this way also very convenient for me cos when she happens to wake up in the middle of the night, she wont cry like wat she used to do. she will just crawl to me and fall asleep beside me or with her head on my chest etc.. i no need to do anything to make her sleep back unlike last time...

 

[cmeilim]

can your cot be convert into a toddler bed? (eg remove only 1 side of the cot). my girl has this problem of staying asleep in her cot after 5am (her first wake) when she was about 10mths or so.. she will wake up every 1hr after 5 am feed and i got really tired so this is what i did.. Our Precious Princess!: Koala Bear

she also sleeps terribly (360 degree) but with this, i can sleep much more peacefully since i dont need to worry she will fall off the bed, crush by hubby etc.. though sometimes i still get slap/kick by her hehe. but this way also very convenient for me cos when she happens to wake up in the middle of the night, she wont cry like what she used to do. she will just crawl to me and fall asleep beside me or with her head on my chest etc.. i no need to do anything to make her sleep back unlike last time...

Hi Annie

Thanks for sharing. Yup, one side of the railings of our cot can be removed or adjusted lower. However, we are not sure if the cot bed level will be the same as our own adult bed height - we have not tried it. If it is not the same height, it might be a bit dangerous for Ian if he tries to crawl between the cot and our bed?? =/

Anyway, the bizarre thing happened last night. Ian didn't struggle to sleep in his cot at night. In fact he slept quite well, waking up only once for milk. He was also contented enough to lie in bed to read his cloth books for some time when he woke up on his own earlier than usual this morning. We don't know what to make out of this relative peace compared with the WWIII-like situations the previous few nights, and have no idea if this peace is short-lived or not. Can only monitor for a few more nights to see what happens next. Kids are so unpredictable!

For those mummies who let your tots sleep on mattresses on the floor, do you use any straw or rubber mats between the floor and mattresses to try and insulate the heat? Are your floors made of those kind of tiles which can be quite cooling? DH's concern is that our marble-like tile flooring will be too cold (and hence not good) for children to sleep on mattresses on the floor at too young an age....

 

[angelwendy]

Actually i got this problem before when my son is 2 months old... but i think alot of mummy will think i very superstitious... haha... at first i don't believe it too.. But to really no choice... i did try the old ppl way.... after i try washing the cot with flower water ( some Chinese people believe ).. everything when well that night till now...

Maybe because u preggy now?? then ur son feel it??

 

[cmeilim]

Maybe because you preggy now?? then your son feel it??

when we made our boy transit from sarong to cot in one single nite, he managed without any problem, so we didn't quite expect this to happen suddenly now. but maybe it's his separation anxiety and maybe it's partly cos he senses something different with mummy, so lately he has been more clingy to me. even DH cannot pacify him sometimes.... eg when i pass him to DH to settle him in the car seat when we arrive at my workplace every morning, he will now sometimes try to cling onto me and not let DH carry him away from me. but granted it is not consistent. there are also mornings when he behaves fine.

 

[annie]

Hi Annie

Thanks for sharing. Yup, one side of the railings of our cot can be removed or adjusted lower. However, we are not sure if the cot bed level will be the same as our own adult bed height - we have not tried it. If it is not the same height, it might be a bit dangerous for Ian if he tries to crawl between the cot and our bed?? =/

Anyway, the bizarre thing happened last night. Ian didn't struggle to sleep in his cot at night. In fact he slept quite well, waking up only once for milk. He was also contented enough to lie in bed to read his cloth books for some time when he woke up on his own earlier than usual this morning. We dont't know what to make out of this relative peace compared with the WWIII-like situations the previous few nights, and have no idea if this peace is short-lived or not. Can only monitor for a few more nights to see what happens next. Kids are so unpredictable!

For those mummies who let your tots sleep on mattresses on the floor, do you use any straw or rubber mats between the floor and mattresses to try and insulate the heat? Are your floors made of those kind of tiles which can be quite cooling? dear husband's concern is that our marble-like tile flooring will be too cold (and hence not good) for children to sleep on mattresses on the floor at too young an age....

hihi no i dun think it will be dangerous for him to climb between your bed and his cot since its joined together. the height dosent matter imo. my girl's cot is actually not the same height as our bed but then coincidentally, i have 3 baby cot mattress (one for her play pen when she was still young, 1 comes free with the cot we bought and 1 custom made spring matress) we custom made the spring mattress cos its thicker, harder and more comfy i suppose.. so total i got 3 matresses and i stack them up.. that makes her cot the same height as our bed hehe. but i dun see any danger with their cot height being different from our bed... since u will be sleeping at the side acting as a barrier to prevent him from coming out of his cot?

glad he does well last night. if he really resist sleeping in cot in the future maybe u can try my way out (provided if u think its a good method of cos hehe)

 

[pkshl]

I am also facing this problem now.

my coming 14mth old son refuse to sleep in his playpen. the moment i put him in he will scream & cry non stop. so he co-sleep with us on our bed, in the middle & i can say every night he will kick me or slap me , he sleeps terribly so me & my hb everynight also kena his kicks or slaps. we cant let him sleep on the floor also cos he might fall off the mattress or even wonder off on his own at night.my hb also said our floor is too cold to let our boy sleep even with mattress.

Has this got to do with him sleeping in sarong? now daytime he sleeps in sarong since my mil takes care of him.

wat age is suitable for him to get his own bed? where to buy? those single beds i saw r quite high.

 

[cmeilim]

i am glad to say that after 3 nites of persistent screaming till his voice turned hoarse, my boy has gone back to being able to sleep in his cot now. very strange hor....but maybe it's like what my colleague says: tots take three days to get used to a new routine. so after three nites of sleeping on the mattress at my mum's, he couldn't adjust to sleeping in the cot right away. but after three nites of struggling in his cot, he managed to adjust back. phew!

but we hv changed his daytime routine at my mum's from napping in the cot to mattress on the floor because he will go to childcare centre in a few months' time, and CCC uses mattresses. my hubby thinks it's less harm napping on the mattress because it is only for 1hr at a go at most.

we weaned our boy off the sarong in a day when he was a few months old.

as for their own bed, i think u will probably need to get some kind of bed rail initially to prevent them from rolling off while u teach them not to anyhow move off the bed themselves. for us, we will probably still resort to mattress on the floor when he is older. hopefully we will have our own new place by then. then we will change the flooring to the non-marble type that is not so cold.