3yr old language horror

cel.lea

cel.lea

Member
Can anyone share with me their experiences?

My 3yr old is at the stage where he parrot what he hears. He's in a full day centre. I notice differences after his class has a new teacher, i'm not implying he copied his teacher & i can't really tell if it's from friends or teachers. now the sch is changing principle again (twice now). i mean confident towards the sch had been shaken.

He said to us (parents):
1) you waste my time
2) i dont want see your face
3) i throw u out
4) singlish

is this a 'normal' stage just like the bitting incidence?

This is the cheapest sch fee i can find & i'm feeling guilty about it. i am considering switching to a higher sch fee centre. Is that an indication they might be better? Am i over reacting?

horrified
cel
 
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happymummyo7

happymummyo7

Member
Have u tried talking to the management?

My personal thought, its always better to teach n guide than to avoid..

Me n my boy stays with my mum n my uncle. My mum n myself, in fact, my circle r more of 'rough' people speaking lotsa vulgurities. Me n my mum use such words on each other often, but not quarreling, just part of our communications. During my boy's 'parroting phrase', one day, he suddenly repeat the cb word n giggled. Have to kept repeating that he shdnt b saying it cos its not a gd word before he finally understands. I refrain myself from using such words not cos dont want him to hear n learn, but cos i believe the best way to teach is b an example. Nowadays, whenever my mum use the 'cb' word, he will tell my mum, 'ahma, cannot scold cb' in mandarin. My uncle is a msian n he speaks with the accent. Whenever my boy says certain words in the accent or use certain grammer wronly, in mandarin, i will correct him. N now, he speaks to my uncle in the msian style, speak to my mum in old generation mandarin style, speak to me in proper mandarin n english. My eng isnt perfect, but i will remind myself n watch my grammer n pronounciation etc..
For his sch, they use the montessori teaching method. He picks most of his eng language there. N they refrain from using negative words. Eg. Stupid. Y r u so slow. Can u b like whoever n whoever. Instead they will focus more on using encourging words.

We cant 'protect' our child from negative/wrong words or things or actions. But we can teach them right n wrong~
 
cel.lea

cel.lea

Member
hi happymummyo7

thank you for sharing your thoughts.

well, we did let the teacher know, management just changed & i find it quite discouraging, so i didnt talk to the new principle but the teacher said she will discuss with the principle. i couldnt bother to ask or update the sch anymore.

yes we constantly correct his langauage & repeatedly say it is not a good to use words like that. so do u mean it's normal in sch picking up bad languages? my boy doesnt have a chance to say negative stuff cos he's in childcare full day & home with us including weekends. so it's really a let down he still manages to pick negative words.

my eng not perfect too. i am very poor in grammar & spelling but i am not picking on those. it's the attitude the words indicate that are horrifying.

also agree about parents teaching the right & wrong. i also agree we cant protect them from negative words. it's just that he has lower chances in learning it & still got it from sch. so maybe chnaging him into a better sch might be another better option?

so i was a bit dismayed.

lol....passing stage hopefully.
 
happymummyo7

happymummyo7

Member
Haha! Think on the brighter side, at least he picks up words! It showed that he is absorbing n using it afterwards.. =P

Well, even if teachers dont use negative words, how bout other kids? Tv shows? He can pick up any kind of words anywhere as long as there r human beings isnt it?? Theres really nth much u can do except to teach him its wrong. N u can only do so by keep on repeating to get the msg across.

My boy, on the way hm pass by playground hear the kids shouting. N he copies them n shout along. I will tell him like jovier can u pls dont shout, it isnt nice (stopping his actions), it is so noisy n it hurts mummy ears when u shout (y he shdnt b doing it), those kids r not behaving right but r u suppose to behave this way too? (for him to learn that other pple do doesnt mean he can or he shd b doing). When my sentence 2 which explain y what he is doing isnt right, he understands n accept it is not acceptable, so when my sentence 3 which i throw for him to decide for himself if he wants to behave like that, he usually get the msg.

This method works for me when he picks up wrong words or acts from others. Though sometimes he forgot esp the first few times. But after repeating for few more times he usually is able to catch it.

One thing i learnt from the discipline talk by his sch's director, do rmb if yr child is challenging u or himself. Cos kids tends to test the boundaries n yr limit by doing things that r not right. But a 2yo is a 2yo. They have short memory esp when distracted or attracted by something else. When u expect him to do sth, also rmb to consider if he can cope with it. When he do wrong, ask yrself if it is too much for him thats y he cant do it or he is purposely doing it to test u. Eg. My boy knows he shdnt b running, shd walk. But when he gets the greenlight from me to go to the playground, he runs towards it no matter how hard i repeat jovier walk walk walk. In the last i wld get pissed n demand he walks. This is actually quite a torture for him n myself. After learning the pt, i understand that it is challenging for him cos his focus is the playground. So i let loose on this. Eg. He knows he shdnt spit out the water he drinks, but he sometimes does it for fun. This is unacceptable cos i find no valid reason for him to do it out of sudden. I deem it as him challenging me, testing the consequence of his doings. He gets 'punished' for sure.

Yr kid may have pick the words somewhere, understand prolly only half of its meaning, the other half that he cant understand is the sentence or tone isnt nice n polite to use. He learns it, use it. N it wld b confusing if u get 'angry' with him cos in the first place, he wldnt know its rude. Correct him, teach him, n let him understand slowly. Find better proper words n phrase a sentence for him to use instead to express himself. Eg, if he uses singlish, wrong formation of grammer, includes the la lo leh, u rephrase the whole sentence wout the la lo leh n gets him to repeat after u. Dont go like no u cannot say that must say blablabla. Try using like , that doesnt sounds very nice, can u say blablabla instead? If every sentence he says u goes no cannot say that, he may b discouraged to speak..

As for the sch, changing sch simply for this issue not so gd.. Is yr child happy there? How long has he been there? Sudden change of environment not too gd for kiddos so young i feel. N u cant b guaranteed u wont face the same prob again in new sch. Worst still, what if u kana more prob which u didnt have here? Since the teacher has offered to speak to the new principal, y not give them a chance? Unless u have other reasons that makes u totally no hope n confidence here..
 
cel.lea

cel.lea

Member
hi hi happymummyo7

actually there's also another factor im looking at chnaging sch. location. im staying very near the central but the sch is way into the neighbourhood. then came the language problem which didnt surface till lately. indicating something went wrong.

if i ask my toddler abt sch, he always say he has fun. when u tell him to try new sch, he's also super happy. he'll say i want go new sch lol. so i suspect he doesnt understand fully.

sorry abt this late reply, has been super bz as my younger one was sick & the eldest one is hosting a sch exchange program student, so i ended up super crazy bz :p

anyway thanks for chipping in. u're the only one here!

have a good holiday
 
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annabel

New Member
I'm sorry, I'm abit disagree if we want to question the teacher about the language that the child pick up. I saw with my own eyes, my son catch those bad words from his friends - i mean bigger - older friends in school (childcare). he only 2 yrs that time when he see the boy shout to the teacher - and right after that he keep repeat the words. or when he did something, i ask him, why did you do it, it's dangerous. you guess his replies? koko do, so i also want to do. remember mommies.. kids always want to do what the elder kids do, copy is a must. some kids do not have this habbit. some do. like my son. so, normally i will lecture him, explain why its not good, bla bla... and i dont mind the singlish. better than he cant speak at all. grammar, well, what can i expect from 3yrs old, even in Uk and us now english are rotten for them. they will say ya instead of you. hahaha...
just be happy with your boy's progress ok? we always here, you also always welcome to pm me. cheers
 
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annabel

New Member
Hi Isabel, dont worry, just for your info, everywhere your kid will be expose to bigger's boy language and attitude, and when your baby start to copy you can remind him/her that its not good, so far it work for me, one time my son so naughty (he copied some bad behaviour from other kids) i have to punish him. Constant reminder is a must. Trust me all childcare or school will be the same. Good luck
 
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pillowhugger01

Member
My girl also like to parrot T.T she used to parrot her cousin like 'you go away, I don't want you' 'idiot' etc etc.. But yea, I will try my best not to let my girl play with the cousin and also I will take the effort to correct her cousin as well. If anyone of you here watch Michelle phan videos from YouTube.. My girl LOVES her video and watch it all the time.. And now she got American accent T.T now I feel weird talking to her.
 
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lingfangwen

New Member
hi, recently I read many books on child education, one of the book by Glenn Doman did highlighted that a child at this stage may behave like this, simply they are attracted by the effect of these 'strong words', this is the stage where they realized that word is not only can be used for communication, but word can be so 'powerful', e.g. scarring people, make people sad, or horrifying us (parents) :)
they are excited with their discovery, and very enjoy in saying it more frequently if you have big reaction to it (e.g. angry, sad.. etc). one day, they will get bored about saying these words when people no longer feel surprise. however, the author suggested that keep scolding and prohibit them may have reverse effect, may try to talk (educate) to them in more caring way (but must keep it short and precise, e.g. baby u talk to mummy in this way will make me feel very sad, do you want mummy feel sad?).

anyway, these are what i read from the books, I just get myself prepared, I believe my child may enter this stage too :)
 
cel.lea

cel.lea

Member
hi lingfangwen

i think i do have some wrongs & believes when it comes to teachings. 1 thing is, my home is not a place where we shout & scold loudly to shame a child. not even in public. we always try to encourage or give options.

well, i cant help being stunned or react to his words, it's just so 'loud'.

situations had improved after i spoke several times to his teacher. i had not heard him say throwing us out. :001_302: in fact, he's now picking on my singlish! oh well. kids

im more at ease now cos judging from all the replies here, it seem most parents have confident in ccc & their teachers. of cos not complete trust, that's not so impossible. i had seen a cc teacher slapped a girl's face & she cant report to her parent bcos she's too young & cant really talk. probably a cause of my reservation.

im sure u'll do great job, reading is a powerful tool to succeed.
 
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