4 YO Boy scardy cat

[KhairinElektra]

Hi Mummy,my 4 yo boy coming to 5 yo next year in Jan is lack of confident. He is scared and do not want to try new things.And keep crying when he do not get his own way,I scolded him in the end he is scared of me now.I send him for fighting class to build up his confidence but it seems like he is getting worst. He don even wants to enter the class and kept crying throughout the one hr class. He attends full-time childcare during the day.Please advice what should I do? I am so worried about him.I am feeling that I am not being a good mum.

 

[KhairinElektra]

To add in,I have a 7 mth old bb boy.He loves to play with the lil bro.He is just not himself since I scolded him very badly for crying for not wanting to go for the class.

 

[pillowhugger01]

Hi my Girl is 4 yo and she's scare of almost everything.. Example the playground -.-

 

[KhairinElektra]

girl is okay.But mine is a boy.I am worried that he will get bullied in sch

 

[cel.lea]

girl is okay.But mine is a boy.I am worried that he will get bullied in sch

my eldest boy is now in his teens. he is the timid shy gentle boy since young. he dare not mix or mingle with classmates & in public playground. he even wanted me to ask other kids if he can play in the playground which i didnt. it's a public playground, my thought? dont ask, no guts dont play. im not being nasty or tough. im worried & scared for him. he's a boy & eventually a man. then came the feedback from kindergarten about him shaking when holding pen to write. my thought? he's probably afraid about being scolded by teacher when he write wrongly. teacher raised concern about him more on physical growth eg shaking linking to some illness. im just glad he turned out ok now. he's still quite small in size now that he's coming to sec 2.

i had not done anything special to make him grow out of it. i monitor his behaviour ever since & repeatedly told him what to do when it comes to bullying or choosing friends. to the extend having 1 friend or none at the point is ok cos i told him when he's into adulthood, he'll be ok. he's in sec 1 & has friends coming over to play. so dont fret. i tried ways to make him stronger & feel more confident then he proven to me, it didnt work. eg putting him in yamaha music class. i choose not to push further & let it be, so i stop the lessons when he refuses to go in at all. he's only safer when he's by my side then. now he's growing away from me. it's more about friends now. i hope my case makes you feel abit less worried.

i suggest you monitor closely his behaviour before & after sch & when you r with him. encourage but dont force. he doesnt like & react reverse, stop what you r doing. it's simply no good. have faith in him. i also think when he's older going to pri 1, make sure he doesnt go into those "reputable bad sch". im not suggesting super good sch but the better ones in the neighbourhood makes a differenece in his grow spirtually.

it is by luck i enrol him in a better as i only thought about being conveniently near to home. the sch eventually makes an impact in his thoughts & way of life. he did cried 1st few weeks in pri 1 & i think he's now doing really great.

maybe you wanted to try more solutions, how about a quiet class eg drawing? ask him if there's anything of interest to him. dont worry if there's none. i think learning something & aquiring a skill is very importnant to him now as it helps him in the future even if it meant not mingling or helping at the moment. you may not realise it but as he steps into pri sch or sec, if there's something he's very good in & attracts other ppl's attention & probably talk to him, rather than he approach ppl. so i engaged a teacher to teach him piano when he's K2 at home, it's his comfy zone, intereaction with a teacher is also something i can observe. i had to save for the fee, piano is quite ex. it pays off. now his piano is something he can mingle with, with his sec friends. piano is never his interest, i always encourages him to continue each time he says he wanted to stop it. but his reaction to home piano is never as strong as not wanting to go for yamaha class. u know what i mean? judge his reaction & act on it accordingly

not too sure what you think about i had said but good luck & dont worry cos he can sense & will make him less confident.

 

[annabel]

hi there, my son also scared of cat he's 3 1/2 yr old now. it start when he was 2 yrs old, we walk on the void deck on late afternoon (almost dark) and with no light on, we passby this bench where a cat sit with tense pose, and stared at us, it eye's shine in the dark (like other cat). after that incident, my son develop this scared feeling to cat. i always encourage him that cat is ok, same with other pets. its ok to be afraid of something, to but not everything. i always believe that we need to encourage the kid more, scold will do no good nowadays kids smarts and they have their own character. scold only make our relationship distance apart, so try remind him that no cat or anything will harm him, even mommy not around, he always can find a solution (ooppsss sorry give too long advice) to his problem. i more concern to naughty bully boy, as long as our boy do not evil, wicked whatsoever.. compliment and encourage..thats the best cure and will make our relationship close as a porcelain stick with super glue hahaha... good luck

 

[cel.lea]

hi annabel

i think she dont mean her son is scared of cats but timid in nature.

the mention of cats i just remembered an incident of my 2nd son. he's 2yrs when it happened. he's very courageous & adventurous. there was a cat sitting in the children's playground. apparently a stray cat not a home pet. adults walked past & some stroke it. my mum was with my 2nd son & i walked away to a bakery nearby. when i rtn, i saw my boy stroking the cat once. the cat look cool, no purring. then he stroke it twice the cat bite. my mum was talkingon the mobile & didnt even noticed her grandchild crying. i rushed over & pacify my little one. he has 2 teeth marks on his hand. mind you, he stroke it the correct way head down towards its back. he wasnt even rough.

what surprised me is, the cat appear to b comfy with adults approaching & even when my son squat besides it. cat didnt even budge or move or purred to show dislike. it only bite on the second time it was touched.

my conclusion, i will be wary of any strays he touch.

perhaps u might want to be aware.

of cos animals are all different

 

[annabel]

oh ya, last nite cos of too tired i guess i read the title wrongly hahahaha
yup, timid kid need more encouragement. but i guess the way we bring up the kid also will play part in it. i learn from a mother years back before i have my son. her daughter (around 2 yrs old) fall down when she walk, you know what the mother did? she never run to the kid, she talk to her, you get up sweetie, its ok to fall down, (the kids want to cry) then she talk to her again, no need to cry, its ok to fall down, come stand up, come to mommy - and she not even move to help the kid! the girl never cry instead she smile and walk back to her mommy and she hold her hand then continue to walk.
i always did the same to my son, even his bleeding - i still say, its ok, got blood? later mommy put medicine - then ok already. and so far my son is brave (except when he meet a cat) boy hahahha....

 

[cel.lea]

hi annabel

too tired? lol its ok i am sometimes blur too.

im still wary of stray cats .....horrible memory to have actually, for me. i think my son got over it. ya i try not to pamper when he fall, only sort out the broken skin.........

 

[annabel]

i think, if we have time, we the mommy should get together with the kids! hahahaha...
speaking about cats, i dont hate cat because of fear, more to health problem. i have quite a number of friend that unable to conceive because of this virus that live in cat's fur. they spend alot of money to treat the condition. some of them can't conceive forever, few can conceive after the virus gone.

 

[cel.lea]

is that such virus?? ive not heard of.....ya i think mummies like us with similar age group kids shld gather & chat!!! we have so much in common.

 

[annabel]

is that such virus?? ive not heard of.....ya i think mummies like us with similar age group kids shld gather & chat!!! we have so much in common.

ya, apparently i'm wrong, not virus, but parasite.
below is the information from wikipedia.

Toxoplasmosis is a parasitic disease caused by the protozoan Toxoplasma gondii.[1] The parasite infects most genera of warm-blooded animals, including humans, but the primary host is the felid (cat) family. Animals are infected by eating infected meat, by ingestion of feces of a cat that has itself recently been infected, or by transmission from mother to fetus. Cats are the primary source of infection to human hosts, although contact with raw meat, especially pork, is a more significant source of human infections in some countries. Fecal contamination of hands is a significant risk factor.[2]


this is the reason why i try not to have cats as pet - even i like animal, and when i was a kid i do have 2 cats.

yeah, lets arrange for a small gathering session between working mother with toddlers

 

[cel.lea]

ya, that's a good idea. i like to meet ppl. but wgere do u stay? im in tampines....if we stay far apart, it doesnt make sense to gather since going out with babies/toddlers r very challenging