lipssmacker
New Member
It will take me a lot of courage to type down all these.
It will. The fact that I've kept quiet, kept it to myself for so many years will tell how difficult it is to put it down here all at once & for all.
13 freaking years of silence!!!!
I am someone who loves to write down my feelings everytime something upsets me. But not for this incident. Never will I ever imagine myself telling these out.
No one knows a single bit of these. Not my best friend, not my husband, not my parents. NO ONE!
Because, HE is my cousin, my dad's nephew. And no one would probably ever want to believe what I say.
Actually I had very very bad childhood during my younger days.
Ranging from the constant beating from my dad to being abused by babysitter to being MOLESTED. Yes, molested.
(Well, this really take a toll on me because I just went on to surf the net for like 30mins before coming back to continue.)
As I was saying, yea, being abused by babysitter when I was in my kindergarden school days.
That aside because all of them know I'm being abused only after I am not under her care anymore.
So, this memory of it still lingers within me and is still vivid throughout this entire 13 years.
The start.
It was always a joyous stayover at my cousin's house in Jurong West. With my cousin Sharon who is 3 days younger than me & also her elder brother which I can't even recall his name. Well, I use to call him Korkor.
So 1 fine night when I'm sleeping on the floor in my cousin Sharon room, something woke me up.
Something caressing not my body BUT my private part. The side of my private part. *fuck, whenever I think of it, it just makes me feel so sick!*
Ok, the constant caressing woke me up and I was very very scared. I don't know what to do being just a 9 year old girl at that time.
My heart was racing fast. And he did not stop, he continue to chat with me while I laid there on the mattress under his mercy. I didn't dare to even scream because I'm so afraid of being accused of telling lies and will end up getting beaten by my dad if my aunt were to tell him.
I remember Korkor asking me this while still fucking caressing the same area. " Do you know what happen to the other part of the world when our side is night time?" Then he continue, " The other part of the world turns into day because the earth rotates."
After that, I forgot what happened.
Bolder.
Then the next day while we are playing, I became very wary towards him. Then, he offered to piggy back me. Well, what can I say? I stupidly agreed and once he piggy backed me, his both hands went under my private parts AGAIN. Instead of holding my legs for support, his hands went there.
Even till now, whenever I see anybody piggy backing my girl, I will still have the phobia of it and will always be reminded of the damn incident.
My cousin Sharon in fact, know what's going on. She even told me : " Orh, I tell your father that my korkor touch your "kai kai" (means private part for her in cantonese). "
I was very very afraid at that moment and just nice, my aunt was going for her dialysis at Clementi so I took the chance to say I want to go home.
After which, I never dare to go for any stayover at my aunt's house and never even dare to look into Kor kor's eyes. I just felt so ashamed. So embarassed.
Till now, I hate him for causing me all these phobias, all these lifelong memories that cannot be erased no matter how.
And now whenever I see my girl playing closely with my side's cousins, I will always be on a lookout fearing that the same thing will happen to her.
I suppose, all these phobias will not go away even till the day I die. And no one would probably know about this in anytime to come or future. They would probably think that I'm cooking up stories and not believe me.
Maybe some of you may ask, WHY AFTER 13 YEARS THEN SPEAK UP?
Easy, because it is really very vexing, tormenting to be reminded of what happen every now and then.
A simple action, can remind me of the incident.
It will. The fact that I've kept quiet, kept it to myself for so many years will tell how difficult it is to put it down here all at once & for all.
13 freaking years of silence!!!!
I am someone who loves to write down my feelings everytime something upsets me. But not for this incident. Never will I ever imagine myself telling these out.
No one knows a single bit of these. Not my best friend, not my husband, not my parents. NO ONE!
Because, HE is my cousin, my dad's nephew. And no one would probably ever want to believe what I say.
Actually I had very very bad childhood during my younger days.
Ranging from the constant beating from my dad to being abused by babysitter to being MOLESTED. Yes, molested.
(Well, this really take a toll on me because I just went on to surf the net for like 30mins before coming back to continue.)
As I was saying, yea, being abused by babysitter when I was in my kindergarden school days.
That aside because all of them know I'm being abused only after I am not under her care anymore.
So, this memory of it still lingers within me and is still vivid throughout this entire 13 years.
The start.
It was always a joyous stayover at my cousin's house in Jurong West. With my cousin Sharon who is 3 days younger than me & also her elder brother which I can't even recall his name. Well, I use to call him Korkor.
So 1 fine night when I'm sleeping on the floor in my cousin Sharon room, something woke me up.
Something caressing not my body BUT my private part. The side of my private part. *fuck, whenever I think of it, it just makes me feel so sick!*
Ok, the constant caressing woke me up and I was very very scared. I don't know what to do being just a 9 year old girl at that time.
My heart was racing fast. And he did not stop, he continue to chat with me while I laid there on the mattress under his mercy. I didn't dare to even scream because I'm so afraid of being accused of telling lies and will end up getting beaten by my dad if my aunt were to tell him.
I remember Korkor asking me this while still fucking caressing the same area. " Do you know what happen to the other part of the world when our side is night time?" Then he continue, " The other part of the world turns into day because the earth rotates."
After that, I forgot what happened.
Bolder.
Then the next day while we are playing, I became very wary towards him. Then, he offered to piggy back me. Well, what can I say? I stupidly agreed and once he piggy backed me, his both hands went under my private parts AGAIN. Instead of holding my legs for support, his hands went there.
Even till now, whenever I see anybody piggy backing my girl, I will still have the phobia of it and will always be reminded of the damn incident.
My cousin Sharon in fact, know what's going on. She even told me : " Orh, I tell your father that my korkor touch your "kai kai" (means private part for her in cantonese). "
I was very very afraid at that moment and just nice, my aunt was going for her dialysis at Clementi so I took the chance to say I want to go home.
After which, I never dare to go for any stayover at my aunt's house and never even dare to look into Kor kor's eyes. I just felt so ashamed. So embarassed.
Till now, I hate him for causing me all these phobias, all these lifelong memories that cannot be erased no matter how.
And now whenever I see my girl playing closely with my side's cousins, I will always be on a lookout fearing that the same thing will happen to her.
I suppose, all these phobias will not go away even till the day I die. And no one would probably know about this in anytime to come or future. They would probably think that I'm cooking up stories and not believe me.
Maybe some of you may ask, WHY AFTER 13 YEARS THEN SPEAK UP?
Easy, because it is really very vexing, tormenting to be reminded of what happen every now and then.
A simple action, can remind me of the incident.