A secret of mine

[lipssmacker]

Cancanmum

I guess she thought that your dad wanted to do something bad to her, and thus was afraid of going near him and such. And during that period, there's no sex education and such, thus your dad being a teenager would be curious especially when there's no adults to guide him on how to behave and how to conduct himself. (I'm presuming your GU Por, might be too busy taking care of all the kids to have time guiding him, plus the older folks tend to be more conservative and tend to avoid such topics)

lipssmacker
Sometimes, I wondered if my memories were real. And sometimes I wonder to myself, if I had said anything during that time, would anyone believed me?

It does help in opening up and talking about it. Its only when I started to confide in my best friend about it 10 years after it had happened, then I was slowly able to let it go and not let it torment me.

I can understood its even more so tormenting for you especially when its a relative, someone whom you and your family trusts, and even more so, if you have to face him during family gatherings. *hugs*

Hi babes,

thanks for the concerns and advice given =)

so actually, i'm not the only one who had such encounters.

Renzie: At least you dare to confide in your best friend. because I don't. I didn't tell anyone at all. Posting here in the forum is because I can hide my identity and can share it out without worries.

I feel so ashame of what had happened. I can still remember the fear when he caressed me. The very scare but don't dare to move or shout fear.

I was only 9 years old then. He is the only male in the family thus everybody dote on him a lot.

It's just so disgusting to even think of it.

Cancanmum: At least your dad didn't do it on purpose. Mine cousin DID IT ON PURPOSE. Sigh.

How to let go? It still lingers in my mind and heart.

I'm so scare whenever my male cousins go near my girl. I will always be in the room when my girl is playing with them.

 

[lipssmacker]

This remind me of part of scary childhood as well.
When i'm in pri 1 or 2, my grandma will bring me along when she went playing cards at my uncle's house. This uncle is my mum's cousin.
Just beside uncle's house stayed his sister and her teenage son, uncle's sister is single mum, she always not at home, only left his son.
My grandma will always tell me to go to her house to play with his son.
One day, he told me he got a new toy and is a driving game with the sterring wheel. I wanted to play, but he says it's spoilt and need ro repair. In order to repair must take off my panties and use a hammer.
I stupidly do so, he covered my head with the blanket and said will start repairing. I felt something poking into my private part, he kept asking if i painful or not. Then after a few attempts, he gave up and said the toy was repaired then let me play with it.
This happened not once but twice. Until one day when i'm in pri 4, when i get to know what is sex, i felt so shameful and dirty down there.
During my teenage years, i had the thinking that having sex is totally alright, since i'm not a virgin anymore. But lucky i dont't have the chance to do it cause i'm not pretty, so no guy will approach me. Until 19yrs old, when i knew my hubby, we had sex after few weeks we met, then i bled and realised i'm still a virgin. So i told hubby the story, at first he thought i that type of easy woman, then he get to know me better and we together till now.
And last few yr i got to know from my mum, that my cousin's wife divorced with him after only 1 month they married.
Inside my heart, i think this is the retribution to him for doing those things to me, i suddenly felt relieved totally.

lipssmacker, i think it's just very unfortunate of us to experience such things, try to let go and enjoy our life now. Those ppl will get their retribution one day.

Oh my strawberry.

Your case is even worse than me. *hugs*

It must be a painful thing to even remember and type out.

I can feel your digust cause I felt the same too.

I haven't got any courage to tell anyone. I don't want any misunderstanding and unhappiness to happen.

 

[ohstrawberry]

So far only my younger sister, my best friend and my hubby knew about this incident. We kept it from my family members cause don't want to spoilt the relationship between my mother side with her cousin. Last yr I met that cousin at a relative's funeral and i just pretend i never see him, i guess he knew why. Till now my mum is puzzled why i hate the sight of him.
Talking to someone you trust can make you feel better.

Oh my strawberry.

Your case is even worse than me. *hugs*

It must be a painful thing to even remember and type out.

I can feel your digust cause I felt the same too.

I have not't got any courage to tell anyone. I dont't want any misunderstanding and unhappiness to happen.

 

[Ting]

oh strawberry! your cousin is really sick too! n i hope more karma falls on him!!
good that u opened up n moved on.. n your hubby can still stick by u!

 

[Renzie]

lipssmacker

Its Alright dear, just do what you are comfortable with. Its when those memories haunted me so badly, that I had no choice but to reveal to someone before I break down completely. I had felt suffocated by the four walls, no one to turn to or talk to. Its good to open up. If you feel more comfortable opening up in a forum, its alright.

ohstrawberry
If I were you, i highly doubt I can face him. I used to wonder if I am still a virgin and that I'm dirty and such as well.

Funny thing...its them in the wrong, and yet we are unable to face them....

 

[ohstrawberry]

Cause we are all girls and will feel shameful of what had happened to us. Unlike those guys, they totally got no shame. We should be brave and carry on with our life, don't let such memories haunted us forever, it may be a black mark of our past, just cover it with our colorful future.

ohstrawberry
If I were you, i highly doubt I can face him. I used to wonder if I am still a virgin and that I'm dirty and such as well.

Funny thing...its them in the wrong, and yet we are unable to face them....

 

[Ting]

actually i feel that, its bcos u r the victim, thus u feel tt way..
its abit unfair to say tt some guys feel no shame?
what abt those boy victims? they will also feel shameful if someone did that to them when they were young, right?
there r also many boys who r victims of these psychopath n phaedophiles...

 

[pinkytham]

hi dear no worries i had a something similar encounter with u but worser than u =(
it was when i was in primary 6.
1. while in jurong east emporium looking at the barbie dolls with mummy in the bra dept, a man stood beside me. did nt suspect anything as i thought he wanted to buy a doll for someone. he than tapped my shoulder and unzipped is pants, wanting to use it to rub against me =( i ran like hell and he chased me!! luckily found mummy and hugged her and he ran away! taught me a lesson never to let my ger go see toys alone nw!!
2. was sleeping at granny home on her bed while parents were gambling... than cousin carassed my whole body, kissed my ear and touched my pp area..... was trembling in fear, same like u did nt dare tell anyone as i though no one will believe in me =( after that he even warned me not to tell anyone....till nw i hate him to the core and never tok to him again!!!
3. was molested my by OWN BROTHER when i was in sec 1....while sleeping..not once but twice....was totally hurt and felt betrayed!

all the above events really traumatised me deeply....
even having sex with hubby was also a problem as there was a phobia there.
luckily of his understanding and support, i managed to have a cute little princess and things have started to get better ever since...
maybe u should tell ur hubby, share with him ur story and u will feel better.
nw when hhubby sees my cousin he will stare at him and he dare nt look back! but all these are living examples that i learn from and i will NEVER let it happen to my precious princess.

 

[Ottermum]

I also got molested by my cousin (my eldest uncle's son) too...think he was about 13 n i was just 2 or 3...

my mum caught him caressing my private part....she was so mad!!!

think she didn't report him (cos she's a timid woman by nature and my dad's side of relatives look down on her) but she never left me alone with him eversince that incident happened...til now she hates them to the core...

I truly believe i was not the only victim...there are lots of girls in the family...

actually i was shocked to hear that (when i've grown up) but i don't feel ashamed of myself...it's not my fault what...i don't blame my mum too...but she really blames herself for that...

Well most kids get curious about sex one day...it's just the ways how their parents introduce to them n educate them about it...some parents just heck care...even worse they watch porn or 'do it' when their kids are somewhere around...

so i kind of not blaming him for doing that...i know he's just curious about it...

but then he's definitely lost his due respect from me...

sometimes i wonder whether he is ashamed of his wrongdoings?

does the same thing happen to his own daughter? (yes, he's divorced n has a daughter too)

I've told my nephew don't ever do that to a girl...it's very rude n hurtful...imagine someone does that to his mum how would he feel?

when my boy grows up i'm gonna tell him that too...to be safe i will not let him play alone with girls...n teenage boys...n dirty old men!!