Advice, I have some doubts feeling
- Thread starter YanZee
- Start date
Unforgiven
Member
she haven't ask i already know the answer will be no.
yes, he already not interest in the family and the wife, it will be a miracle if he agree to let her go for 'happy hours'. Anyway, Saturday's evening where have happy hours?
So he is not as busy as he claim he is, still can go 'happy hour' and leave the family with the wife on weekends.
last time I used to go with him happy hours, after our 1st daughter is born, no more already, busy taking care, where got times, now 2 daughters somemore.
sometimes weekend, saturday or sunday, he go happy hours with his friends, I'm not sure is the same friends or not I used to know before.
even thou he had no more interest in the family & ME, he still contribute & pay the monthly house installments & expenses & my monthly allowance.
sometimes weekend, saturday or sunday, he go happy hours with his friends, I'm not sure is the same friends or not I used to know before.
even thou he had no more interest in the family & ME, he still contribute & pay the monthly house installments & expenses & my monthly allowance.
hi YanZee,
Its kinda sad to know about your realtionship with your hubby..
have you ever try to ask him nicely, if there is anything he wants to talk about or he is having a trouble with? whether he keen to share with you since you are his wife should share all the sadness and happiness together?
if he asked nothing, then you may want to say, its kinda sad to see him like this, looks very tired, and may be say sprry for giving him so much stress, etc.
im not sure if you can dig more answer from him but dont give up ya
try to be more patient when you ask the question and may be you can try to massage him when he is back from work?
all da best for you and your kids
Its kinda sad to know about your realtionship with your hubby..
have you ever try to ask him nicely, if there is anything he wants to talk about or he is having a trouble with? whether he keen to share with you since you are his wife should share all the sadness and happiness together?
if he asked nothing, then you may want to say, its kinda sad to see him like this, looks very tired, and may be say sprry for giving him so much stress, etc.
im not sure if you can dig more answer from him but dont give up ya
try to be more patient when you ask the question and may be you can try to massage him when he is back from work?
all da best for you and your kids
he dont want to talk or share with me if he really had problems or somethings in his mind, he just want to keep to himself,
rather smoke alone whole night sitting or lying at the sofa, he can whole night playing his mobile games too.
go to work early, come back late night, weekend or public holidays working, I bet he work this 1st May Labour Day too, now
already 10.00pm +++, he still not back yet.
rather smoke alone whole night sitting or lying at the sofa, he can whole night playing his mobile games too.
go to work early, come back late night, weekend or public holidays working, I bet he work this 1st May Labour Day too, now
already 10.00pm +++, he still not back yet.
is things better now?
still the same.
Itsy Bitsy
New Member
YanZee,
if things does not get better and you have no chance to talk to him at all, perhaps you can try to write him a letter?
Mail it to his office, address it to him. But make sure no one has access to open his mails / letters, e.g secretary.
Write to him, ask him how long will he behave like that.
the family needs him, your kids need him and miss him a lot.
tell him, things will not get better if he does not give you and himself a chance to talk.
if he has problems or worries, share it with you, and try to work out the solution.
if not for himself or you, then do it for the children's sake.
perhaps you could also send him cards occasionally, just to say have a nice day etc.
hope things will get better for both of you.
if things does not get better and you have no chance to talk to him at all, perhaps you can try to write him a letter?
Mail it to his office, address it to him. But make sure no one has access to open his mails / letters, e.g secretary.
Write to him, ask him how long will he behave like that.
the family needs him, your kids need him and miss him a lot.
tell him, things will not get better if he does not give you and himself a chance to talk.
if he has problems or worries, share it with you, and try to work out the solution.
if not for himself or you, then do it for the children's sake.
perhaps you could also send him cards occasionally, just to say have a nice day etc.
hope things will get better for both of you.
hi Itsy Bitsy
I already do what I can do, still I dont know why what happening to him, keep to himself, dont want to talk or discuss or share
or somethings might be wrong or problems with him, I'm his wife too, not somebody or stranger to him, I think no hope already
from him, let him be like that if he wants to be, as long he still paid the monthly house installements & expenses, my monthly
allowances, etc.
hi, yesterday night saw him peep & stand for awhile outside our daughters room, ask him what happen to him all this while, very "cool" treatment, don't want to talk to me & spend quality times with our daughters, he just walk away, went back inside my room when he starter to smoke, come out later see what he doing, saw him doing that himself, scold him say how if suddenly our daughters comes out to washroom, what will they think, what daddy is doing, he suddenly approach me for that, push him away, hold me tightly & starter to kiss & touch me, carry me back inside our room (the rest you know, no need to describe), quite lengthy, slight pain only, maybe due to long time, didn't do already, this morning ask him what happen last night, suddenly, silence all the way to the MRT station & drop me off later, still thinking what really happen to him last night suddenly approach me doing that, what do you all think too ?
hi, from what i read, it's really make u feel being used to satisfy his sexual needs.
this is really too much
he is not thinking of u, men can make love to a stranger when they have needs.
ic, out of sudden he yesterday night, luckyly my period just over, if not, I also dont know how, if he really wants to continue,
slight pain for awhile, then OK.
until now I still have doubts feeling about him, is he really have affairs outside or not with his cool treatment to me & our daughters too.
quincy1986
Active Member
YanZee
does he still help to u if u say things like, can you carry my bag for me? can you close the door for me?
does he still help to u if u say things like, can you carry my bag for me? can you close the door for me?
no more as he used to be last time before our 2nd daughter is born, he is back to his cool treatments again as if nothing is happen last Wednesday night. : ( ........
JuzAngel
Member
Stop the guessing game, seek professional help. Take time out, send the kids to in-laws or Mum's place, and make an appointment with a marriage counsellor.
God Bless you & your family.
http://app.msf.gov.sg/Policies/Marriages/MarriageCounselling.aspx
Family Service Centres (FSCs)
FSCs are a key community-based focal point and social service provider for families in Singapore. They are staffed with professional social workers who provide premarital counselling services. Please call ComCare Call at 1800-222-0000 for the Family Service Centre nearest to you.
God Bless you & your family.
http://app.msf.gov.sg/Policies/Marriages/MarriageCounselling.aspx
Family Service Centres (FSCs)
FSCs are a key community-based focal point and social service provider for families in Singapore. They are staffed with professional social workers who provide premarital counselling services. Please call ComCare Call at 1800-222-0000 for the Family Service Centre nearest to you.
quincy1986
Active Member
YanZee
I am asking because if he still responds to your request, you can at least ask him go to the room and listen to you talk.
If you need his reponse to you, have you ever wonder is it something that you have done recently?
is it because you need to take care of your girls so you used to nag him a lot or something?
at this moment, we can't force him to do anything.
but just to say in a marriage, a lot of things take 2 hands to clap.
to be happy in a marriage, it takes 2.
to break a marriage, it takes 2 as well.
would like to suggest you give things 1 last try.
ask him to go inside your room. say you wish to discuss something.
maybe mention that you want to discuss about your girls will help.
so that you can talk to him about him being so cold.
first start by saying sorry although u dont know what u did wrong.
be prepared things might get worse.
after talking if he still does not open up after a few days, then maybe you just focus on your girls
if he opens up, then like what JuzAngel says, better to go for counselling.
Although we can go to FSC, but take note that some FSC their system is not good.
Maybe you can suggest go look up for a private counsellor.
I do not recommend Feiyue family services.
I am asking because if he still responds to your request, you can at least ask him go to the room and listen to you talk.
If you need his reponse to you, have you ever wonder is it something that you have done recently?
is it because you need to take care of your girls so you used to nag him a lot or something?
at this moment, we can't force him to do anything.
but just to say in a marriage, a lot of things take 2 hands to clap.
to be happy in a marriage, it takes 2.
to break a marriage, it takes 2 as well.
would like to suggest you give things 1 last try.
ask him to go inside your room. say you wish to discuss something.
maybe mention that you want to discuss about your girls will help.
so that you can talk to him about him being so cold.
first start by saying sorry although u dont know what u did wrong.
be prepared things might get worse.
after talking if he still does not open up after a few days, then maybe you just focus on your girls
if he opens up, then like what JuzAngel says, better to go for counselling.
Although we can go to FSC, but take note that some FSC their system is not good.
Maybe you can suggest go look up for a private counsellor.
I do not recommend Feiyue family services.