Any bad experience with confinement ladies?

dydy_princess

New Member

:Dancing_angry:NOT RECOMMENDED:Dancing_angry:




Aunty Yit Mei
98708097
+60129234220




We were recommended to her by the popular nanny in our local forum - Aunty Lian.


But we had to send her off after barely 2.5 days... (we sent her off on the 3rd evening)


The nightmare...

- the way she uses our kitchen it would need to be renovated when she leaves

- told her that she needs to clean as she goes in the kitchen and tried explaining to her why. she told us don't worry, she'll clean up at the end of the day before she sleeps (she can leave big puddles of water on our porus kitchen table top!)

- when washing dishes, she uses the sponge to soap the dishes. what was unhygienic was she uses the table cloth to clean away the soap. when we explained to her not, she say the dishes will not be clean. And she has been washing dishes for the longest time this way. we are ok, but not use the same table cloth used for cleaning tables/spills to wash clean dishes. Next moment, she again uses that cloth to wipe dry the dishes. Even when we try to educate her which cloths she can use for wipes and drying, she refuse to listen.

- whole toilet is so messy, pails are everywhere and why so wet?!

- we don't know what she uses the recycle water for (from her laundry wash)

- the laundry she does, does not even have the slightest soap smell.

- she didn't use the baby detergent to wash the baby's clothings. my hubby actually realized that she didn't use and told her to use. she argues back that baby's clothings no need detergent, water can already.

- she doesn't bring her own toothpaste, shampoo & shower form/soap (shocked us)

- doesn't wash her hair. she told hubby she forgot to bring her shampoo. then when hubby went out, she told me that hubby ask her to wash her hair. And she explained that nanny has a belief that they can only wash hair twice a week, otherwise the wind goes into their head because they have to "work" late at night. Anyway, that afternoon, she went to wash her hair coz she was told off by hubby.

- she wanted to use a clean milk bottle left out in open to prepare milk (sterilized or not duno). luckily hubby caught it and told her to take those from the sterilized container. and she still argues that it can be used.

- cooks too little (not enough for me, imagine the quantity is for 3!). when my mom saw, she also shake head.

- reminded her multiple times for 2 days i'm not allowed to take "dang gui" and she still boil this packet of herbs with a slice of it inside. her reason, she don't know i cannot take it and we bought the herbs

- she wanted to use garlic in the cooking. shocked us as garlic is not allowed, according to our mothers. she said she was confused, because the last couple she cooked for wanted lots of garlic - of coz la, they were China chinese. She claimed that she was confused with the so many different cans and donts.

- she found a flask which we have totally forgotten about (means she's digging into our stuff)

- gave her a plastic container for wet cotton balls. instead, she found my expensive tupperware and used it instead. i told her that is for food and she said cotton ball clean one never mind. i have to keep going to n fro, telling her that i don't mix my containers like that and that container she took is very expensive

- keep on repeat telecast (i don't like to be nag at)

- we have to repeat and remind (neither do I like to repeat telecast)

- throughout the day there bound to be back & forth on what can be eaten and what not (we say till very tired). even when we say cannot for the first 2 weeks, she still went on saying its ok.

- whole day, whenever she remembers or recalls, she will ask hubby to buy this and that. Ask her to go through the kitchen/ fridge and work out a full list. she didn't. and we realised that she goes through those recipe book on confinement food.

- she insists on buying very expensive pork meat part which our mothers don't find it necessary

- she prepares formula milk really slow, so slow that baby already REALLY ANGRY (cry for too long). coz she has lao-hua. and she is forever looking for her glasses coz she can't see the bottle milk markings.

- first night, she say that the night was too warm that's why baby head had some red patches (signs of feeling too hot). Drop hint to have aircon switched on. But of course baby was hot, nanny had the fan blowing on herself the whole night!!! The second night onwards, we osc the fan for her. no more problem.

- on second night, at 3am, baby needs her feed. Both of us was already awaken by her cries. yet nanny was still in her deep sleep. we waited in the room to see if she would wake up, but she didn't. so we did that feed. Baby didn't drink much so at 4.30am, she cried again. this time, hubby was monitoring the nanny in dark. he saw her just rushed to the kitchen get milk and rushed back to feed. he asked and she claimed that she did check the "feeding records". but in the end, she was exposed - she didn't check and has prepared too much milk (wastage!!!)

- she indirectly told me that she gets flusttered when baby is hungry and cries. Because her cries were always fierce. (of coz when you are so slow in preparing milk)

- the 2 nights, not only did baby didn't sleep well (she was so angry so she cried or was kept awake for at least half the night), we didn't as well. Because baby was let crying for way too long.

- she said that first time parents don't know how to take care of babies one. and I told her straight in the face that even if I'm not that experienced, we also have our way of routine on how we want her to be brought up, and that she's here for only a month.

- drops hints that she does receives gifts after she finishes her assisgnments

- while she was preparing milk, i was watching. then i just comment that she put too much hot water in to mix. she say she know one... she's experienced as she's been doing it a lot. then end up, she had to cool the milk and she used running tap water!! this ain't good because baby drink liao might cause wind.

- no manners. i was breastfeeding in the room. that one time i forgot to lock the door. she just knock and let herself in. Hubby send her out. SO RUDE!
again, after a bath, i went in my room to dry my hair. Hubby saw that she wanted to open the room door again - he had to tell her to leave me alone and don't go into the room.

- there was one night, she couldn't stop baby from crying, even the feed was not too long ago. Hubby went to check what happened on the long-crying. She wanted him to wake me up to just let the baby suckle a bit (instead of giving formula). She claims that she'll quiet down once she has some "food". Of course hubby didn't allow that, as I needed the rest/sleep (note, with her around, i can never take naps in the day).

- keep insisting that baby needs a pacifier even when we already say no.

- and when friends come over to our place. she actually hangs around closely. when she realised we ignore her existance, she goes away. but i know she's evesdropping nearby.

- she pretends to be hardworking or very good when we have visitors.

- let baby slept on the bean pillow. we told her that babies are not supposed to sleep on pillows yet. she argued back and we stand firm then she used the cloth nappy again instead.

- she doesn't know how to read english. in our storeroom, she insisted she can use our peach vodka to make wine drink for me - no problem one. we already showed her what she can use for confinement cooking. but she still keep digging into our store for more things to use.


............................and more
 

maxbean

Alpha Male
Aunty Ah Zhu - Not Recommented (60176186296)

Description of her appearance: slightly pump, with fringe, curly hair (small curls) slightly longer than shoulder length.

Name: Ah Zhu (but not very sure as she wanted me to call her as Ah Bao)

Age: 40 yrs old (tat is wat she claim but in lunar calendar.. actual age is 39yrs old)

Nationality: Malaysian

Currently: She is doing confinement for someone in Bukit Merah now.

We had enagage her as our confinement lady for 18 days.. but it was really a bad experience.. she had totally ruined my very 1st confinement. For all the ladies out there pls do not engaged her.. We actually meant to terminate her but was not able to find a replacement so kept her ...

Things she had done:
1) She did not cook any fresh ginger for me thou we had already bought. She used those which she had pre-fried (looks like fried shallot) which she brought from Mal (2 cans of it). Everytime she finished cooking the normal way she scattered some of these fried ginger. It was only after my auntie came to visit me tell her off that she shouldn't me giving me those cos those pre-fried ginger has already lost its fragrance and really smell stale. (My auntied throw those away.) Confinement food should be fresh.. Guess wat i feed on those for almost more than a week!!!

2) She said I'm not allowed to eat fish & egg till 12 days after my confinement. Reason being is because eating fish will cause me to have a bad smell.

3) My breakfast has only 1 item in the menu which is either bee hoon or vermicilli soup (which used the longan drink as soup base).

4) She did not test the temperature of the express breast milk after warming. Even me as a 1st time mother know that the temperature need to be tested. I caught her once after she passed me the milk which is so HOT after i tested..

5) She did not test the temperature of the water which she used to bath for my bb. I discover it once when i was watching her bathing for my bb.. den she almost dropped her which is why i had touched the water.. and realised that it is not warm.. my poor bb..

6) I've given her clear instruction not to mixed our clothes which bb's clothes.. to handwash bb clothe and guess wat.. she was very unlucky.. i happened to looked into the washing machine and saw that there are clothes.. so i was curious and discovered that there are my bb's clothes worst still she put her bermudas inside as well!!!

7) She dunno wat to cook and always asked my hubby for menu as in wat to cook.. how will my hubby know.. he dun cook and he also dunno wat are the menu available for cooking...

8) She need to refer to our confinement cookery book in order to cook.

9) She has theory that she cant used salt for my dishes only soya sauce can..

10) She closed her door when zzz tat why i dun dare to leave my bb with her after 3rd night.

11) She dig her nose in front of me and like to use her finger to touch her feet.

12) There was once when we go to do grocery together... i overheard her asking my hubby to pack the food into the fridge.. i question her cos that is her job .. how could she ask my hubby to do.. she was tongue tied..

13) On the 1st few days she even asked my hubby to cook rice..

14) She watched TV till wee hours and can even request to watch 9pm TCS drama thou we wanted to watch movie.. really a TV holic..

15) She left the stove on (boiling little bit of the leftover food) while bathing. When question she can argue said that she bathed very fast.

16) She did not cooked breakfast for me twice because she forget to ask me wat i wan to eat so din cook.

17) She served us the same lunch and dinner over and over again.

18) She given me overnight food on the 2nd day. It was only in the later part den i know that during confinement we are not allow to eat stale food.

19) When my relative came to visit she will watch TV with them or either hide in the room and zzz.

20) She ever cooked the fresh ginger till it is black.. and the whole plate of vege tasted burnt.. i asked her she kept quiet. I can still rem that day my relative came and she still had time to watch tv with them.

In whole my confinement was a very tiring one... i did not rest at all cos i was taking care of my own baby. I did not trust her to take care at all. Till now, my wound still hurts thou mine was a natural delivery.. Pls dun engage her.. she is really very very irresponsible.. Now i'm ordering confinement food from new baby.. the food is 101% beta than hers for sure..
 

veronica

Active Member
Oh dear...

Guess there are many many problems with CL.

I didnt have CL that time and since most of the works CL does, my maid could also do, so i didnt see a point to engage one.

Luckily my dad can cook confinement food.

I wont leave my bb to 3rd party to do the feeding, bathing, or sleep together lor..
 

maxbean

Alpha Male
I totally agreeded! Seems like no more CL for me...Haha!

I tried catering (New Baby PTE LTD) for 2 weeks and it's so much better!
 

mariestar

Member
Hi Maxbean.Tks for sharing ur experience with us!u must be so pissed off with the CL .;( THESE iNEXPERIENCED CL are really terrible.I understand how u feel. I had a CL who stole from me!;(
 

elmo168

Member
Well, I couldn't get the highly recommended CL from my friends with price ranging from $1800-$2500 in Nov2007 due to the fact that during the year of pig, there are many people giving birth and the supply is not enough.
My sister told me to engage a maid to cook for me since it will always be the same dishes. My MIL volenteer to take care of me and the baby with the help of the maid. So that we can save on the $1800 for the tonic instead. Well, it seem reasonable as I have heard quite alot of so-called professional CL ended up not professional at all. Don't be surprised you are actually paying the CL rate for a normal waitress to serve you. My sister encountered that when the CL she has reserve was stuck with other family and cannot come until 2 week later. She recommend her friend to take over who is actually a waitress and had no experience at all but is good in serving the guests who came to visit my sister!!! Ha... Ha...
Come to think about it, are these CL overcharging us for their service. Do they really worth the value and who can guarantee their service and how do they know what food is good for us. Is only after my delivery then I realised that not all people is suitable to eat ginger during confinement. It had to depend on the condition of your health during that period.

elmo
 

daberdew

Member
Oh well, there's always pros and cons i guess.

For my confinement, My SIL did it for me, it was such a bad job, I tell you that I will pay for CL to do it for me the next time, no matter the price.
 

mambee

Member
hmmm... mine was called ah zhu too. description fits her. but mine was ok. she ask mi wat i prefer when i eat very little at 1st. i love her cooking. she would help mi do housework too. she will mop my floor everyday. she neber watch tv but stay in the room and read when my daughter is sleeping. i'm the one who is always watching tv. in the evening or night i would ask her to join us to watch tv. she will go to the room if my girl wanna sleep. hmmm ...but 1 thing she neber test temp. of the milk, she juz feel the bottle temp.
she ask us to call her ah zhu aunty not other names.
 

mambee

Member
yes mine took nap coz she say she got to look after her in the night. i'm ok as long as she do and finish her job. sometimes i will look after and let her take nap for an hour or so.
 
Well, I couldn't get the highly recommended CL from my friends with price ranging from $1800-$2500 in Nov2007 due to the fact that during the year of pig, there are many people giving birth and the supply is not enough.


don't mind me but IMHO, $1,800 is a ridiculous waste of money. honestly speaking, i think fulltime CLs are not necessary. if a mother is willing, she can look after baby herself so that all she will need is the confinement food, which she can order through caterers.

i took care of my baby myself 90% of the time from day 1. to the point when my grandmother-in-law (who lives with DH family) was so unpleased because i refused to follow tradition first week must sit in bed, prop feet up on pillows, cannot walk cannot do anything bla bla bla

then baby leave to other people to take care. i don't find logic in that at all. my water retention was greatly reduced by my confinement massage - & i was on my feet all day everyday. no issues. i have yet to reach my pre-pregnancy weight but i lost 20kg in my first week after delivery. no need to stay in bed & do nothing!!

think all mommies should think twice before hiring CLs - main reason being they are complete strangers looking after your precious newborn. second reason --> $1,800!! enough said!!
 

rainypink

Member
I also want to take care of my baby bcuz MIL n Mother csnt br trusted. I know they will do funny things behind my back lah.

but being a first time preggy, how to ???

alone and no maid, can meh?
 

jojoki

Well-Known Member
i got a confinement lady fr $1.5k... but actually i really reluctant to hire one cos its sooo expensive.. my one whole month pay!! still got to fork out for marketing... but my mum forced me to get and told me not to count on her... sigh!!! if my mum willing to cook fr me fr 2 weeks i will not hire one definitely..can save so much money!! but she very stuborn and insist i have one!!!!!
 

lekkel

New Member
don't mind me but IMHO, $1,800 is a ridiculous waste of money. honestly speaking, i think fulltime CLs are not necessary. if a mother is willing, she can look after baby herself so that all she will need is the confinement food, which she can order through caterers.

i took care of my baby myself 90% of the time from day 1. to the point when my grandmother-in-law (who lives with DH family) was so unpleased because i refused to follow tradition first week must sit in bed, prop feet up on pillows, cannot walk cannot do anything bla bla bla

then baby leave to other people to take care. i don't find logic in that at all. my water retention was greatly reduced by my confinement massage - & i was on my feet all day everyday. no issues. i have yet to reach my pre-pregnancy weight but i lost 20kg in my first week after delivery. no need to stay in bed & do nothing!!

think all mommies should think twice before hiring CLs - main reason being they are complete strangers looking after your precious newborn. second reason --> $1,800!! enough said!!


Hihi

just curious. will one have time to do the confinement massage if
you're looking after your newborn by yourself?
cos my elder sister advised me that i'll be overwhelmed by the
things to do if i were to look after BB by myself.
hence, will not even have time for confinement massage. is it true?
 

jojoki

Well-Known Member
i have a cl too... but i took care of bb 100% bathe feed change burp pacify..everything. my cl like dun really noe how to take care of bb.. the other day i allowed her to bathe her n when i touched the water it was cold!!!!! my gosh!! my bb only 7 days old. den never clean her umblical cord, dun put yuyi oil for her. then sometimes see the diaper stain never bother change say still will poo some more... just leave it. then wipe my bb gal wipe from behind to front????!! really wanna faint.. after feeding sometimes i ask her burp for me... she like rub her back 10 secs my bb never burp then she put her down... thn my bb after few ms vomit out.

At night sleep same room with me n bb.... my bb wailing away... she's snoring away. Faint!! Cook also like cook normal food for me. Then cook go buy drumstick say cook for my hubby.. i was like no need cos my hubby dun like ginger.. then she said .. then dun put ginger.. i was like but u r suppose to cook for me and i need to eat ginger right?? Funny she always wanna buy food and cook fr my hubby n not me. then she got the nerves tell me u eat the vinegar pork from afternoon lar.

She sleeps from night to 7am undisturbed no need to wake up help... then bb clothes she hand wash few days thn put in the washing machine. her clothes also she put in with our clothes.. still got to hang lar keep n fold for her.

I've gt to soak my bb clohtes at night, wash them in morning. clean the house while bb sleeping.. mop the floor etc. while she sometimes naps.. sometimes when all done bb nap she say wanna go out for walk.. then i cannot rest.. got to jaga baby.

I really dunno what kind of confinement i'm having. Never boil anything for me to bathe in also... food also lousy! SIgh!!!

So if u r experienced in handling baby.. save the money!! i feel like i'm throwing money in the sea right now!

plus she can watch dvd for like 3-4hours a day till late. She did that for first week until the drama completed and we stopped allowing her to watch.
 

jaslcare

Member
HI, as i realised that most did not mention the CL's name, therefore i'm worried that i happens to get one of them...as it's my 1st time getting one..previously 2 was done by my mum..

Perhapes i just mention her name, if it happens to be her, can let mi know? Cos i can't afford to get one such CL as i still got 2 younger ones n i got no helper to help mi out.

Her name is Mingzhu jie, recommend by Liqing jie.
 
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