I am askin for a friend. My friend is married and is currently pregnant. They have been married for 13 yrs and has been unsuccessful in conceiving. She was told by the gynae that her hubby has low sperm count. Her hubby was stubborn and too ashamed to get help so she decided to do things on her own. She got a close friend to make her pregnant. Her hubby does not know this and thought that it is his child. The question is, wld she be able to get the baby bonus? wld they be doing any check on the blood group etc? She is afraid that the hubby wld find out and leave her.:embarrassed:
baby bonus
- Thread starter lydiana
- Start date
Wayne's Mama
Member
if she is afraid, why would she do that?
she should consult the husband first on other options....
if the husband don't find out, then there's no need to check on the blood group.......
If she is so afraid that he might check on the blood group, why don't she choose a friend that have the same blood group as her or hubby?
too ashame or too stubborn to get help then she should get professional help to explain to her hubby.....
or maybe hubby don't want to have kid? so many years without kid then suddenly have one sure the hubby will suspect right?
Anyway, as long as the birth cert wrote hubby's name and they are married, they will be eligible for that pathetic amount of $ which is not enough for a child....
well my dear, as her friend, i dun need to understand y she does that. she probably has her own reasons. She doesn't really mind not getting the baby bonus but she is afraid that if they rejected her application, it might arouse her hubby's suspician....all i know is that she really sacrife a lot for her marriage...
Wayne's Mama
Member
why would they reject if the husband dunno is not his......... and they go to register the birthcert and the name of father is her husband?
don't worry...... govt don't care if is biological kid..... just as long as the birthcert say his... means his........
govt not so free to check every kid's dna to confirm b4 payment.......
so regardless or what her reason for doing this is.... just make sure her hubby DUNNO abt the truth.............
Anyway, not as if the bonus is very large amt for the first child........ don't think so much........ since already preg, have or dun have also same......
last time so many mothers also give birth when there's no bonus......
next time, if she afraid husband find out, just make sure bloodgroup is similar to hubby or her........ and also same race.... then no worry hubby suspect......
yeah..you are rite.......i really pity her that her has to go to that extend. i just pray that things wld turn out well for her....
CanCanMum
Moderator
frankly speaking my opinion to this is that your friend's intention is good but she made a terribly wrong move. I am sorry if i sounded harsh but she has to think of it as long term. Is she ok with bearing this responsibility or rather, a lie to his hubby for the rest of the marriage life? Wad if the child doesnt look like him at the least bit? Is she able to face her husband and not feel guilty at all? Of coz its useless to cry over spilled milk but i think the hubby is also too egoistic. Wads so ashamed about having low sperm count?
yeah, understand tat they wanted a child badly, somemore 13 years of marriage. but there are other beta ways den her way, actually. Adoption is an option for couples without children or unable to conceive.
Most importantly, she must be able to hide this secret for the rest of her life with her hubby and by all means, and dont ever bring it up again. The consequences are hard to imagine.
As long as your birth cert is registered using her hubbys name it is legally right to receive the BB, and legally his father. Depends on wad blood group your gf is, and tat close friend of hers. Unless its a rare blood group den chances of arousing suspicions are higher. Like AB+? If B+ or O+ still ok. I have seen some couples both are B+ but the child is O+ leh....??? Dun really know what blood mix = wad...... Coz anyway now our IC oso dun have blood group. Only a DNA test will reveal the truth. But DNA tests are rarely needed, only murder cases.
anyway wish all the best to your friend.
CanCanMum
Moderator
i just checked my boys birth cert, particulars inside are :
1) Name
2) Birth registered at
3) Sex
4) DOB
5) Time of birth
6) Place of address of birth
Thats all. No blood group indicated.
No checkings on blood group either. Coz i dont even know his blood group. And when they do IC nowadays oso dont put in bloodgroup liaoz. Coz my hubby did his IC and no blood group info needed. Till now he oso dont know what bloodgroup he is.
U can safely assure your friend.
But i think sometime during primary six or wad the nurses will check for bloodgroup.
1) Name
2) Birth registered at
3) Sex
4) DOB
5) Time of birth
6) Place of address of birth
Thats all. No blood group indicated.
No checkings on blood group either. Coz i dont even know his blood group. And when they do IC nowadays oso dont put in bloodgroup liaoz. Coz my hubby did his IC and no blood group info needed. Till now he oso dont know what bloodgroup he is.
U can safely assure your friend.
But i think sometime during primary six or wad the nurses will check for bloodgroup.
Last edited:
wenz
Member
to add on to this, better pray tat the bb is healthy all the way... no major sickness of accident (touchwood)... and also tat close fren of the wife will not regret and stand out 1day to say tat's his kid and he wants it back...this will caused chaos to the family.... i even heard of a story similar and when the child grew up he became very successful and rich and the actual father is in bad debts so he no choice stood out and say tat's his kids and expect the son to feed him...
so it's diff to say tat this kind of things wun happen lo...
i think before making any major decision, it's better to think twice and think carefully... cause some mistake are inreversible....
so it's diff to say tat this kind of things wun happen lo...
i think before making any major decision, it's better to think twice and think carefully... cause some mistake are inreversible....
thats the thing..she actually doesn't gv a damn bt the baby bonus. She is just afraid that they wld reject the application and wld arouse her hubby's suspician. They hv been talking bt having kids for many many yrs bt her hubby just kept on telling hr that things r gonna b ok bt never really do anything bt it. Adoption is one solution bt its too xpensive. She was also thinking bt her hubby's pride as she doesn't want pple to think that her hubby is unable to make her conceive. Pple like to tease her hubby bt not being able to make it and her hubby wld always be upset bt it. I think its her way of sacrificing and showing her love to him. A woman wld do anything for the man she loves. I hope that her hubby wld treasure her...if not, i wld tke a butcher knife and cut off his*toot* myself...hihihiancing_tongue:
ancing_tongue:thanks for the trouble CanCanMum......i hope this info wld help her ease her mind......
CanCanMum
Moderator
no la, the baby bonus thing only needs your marriage cert + birth cert to register. Wont be a problem. He will not suspect at all.thats the thing..she actually doesn't gv a damn bt the baby bonus. She is just afraid that they wld reject the application and wld arouse her hubby's suspician. They hv been talking bt having kids for many many yrs bt her hubby just kept on telling hr that things r gonna b ok bt never really do anything bt it. Adoption is one solution bt its too xpensive. She was also thinking bt her hubby's pride as she doesn't want pple to think that her hubby is unable to make her conceive. Pple like to tease her hubby bt not being able to make it and her hubby wld always be upset bt it. I think its her way of sacrificing and showing her love to him. A woman wld do anything for the man she loves. I hope that her hubby wld treasure her...if not, i wld tke a butcher knife and cut off his*toot* myself...hihihi
Wayne's Mama
Member
sorry to say... but from all the things i've read, i find it very ridiculous.........
This kinda man, I would rather dump him
This kinda man, I would rather dump him
Catty
Member
For mommies info,
My 1st child born in KKH, nurse/doctor did not mention about my child blood group but for my 2nd child born in private hospital, the nurse/doctor is very friendly to approach us and let us what our child blood group is, so till now i still do not know what's my 1st child blood group.. :embarrassed:
Don't understand why KKH did not have this kind of service.. :err:
My 1st child born in KKH, nurse/doctor did not mention about my child blood group but for my 2nd child born in private hospital, the nurse/doctor is very friendly to approach us and let us what our child blood group is, so till now i still do not know what's my 1st child blood group.. :embarrassed:
Don't understand why KKH did not have this kind of service.. :err:
yup true hor.....they must hv a reason as to y they removed the blod group from the ic...
oic..ic....she is doin fine.....i know that after all this talk, it makes it seems that her hubby is such a useless guy and made my friend seem like a fool to some. Her hubby is actually a very nice guy, caring and loving. Like i said before, my friend her reasons for doing the things that she does...:err: