flowerchild
New Member
I love my son - I had him when I was 20 years old, and he has been the one joy that I had the pleasure of living for many years. My world was all about him. I divorced at 24 but my focus was completely on him. When he reached 10, I started dating again and a year later, I remarried to a nice gentleman, with whom he also adored. Then he turned 12 and I had my second son.
My older son has just turned 15 and for the past one year, he has been a completely different person. I don't need to be a genius to know why - he started dating a girl (I don't believe it is her "fault" as it takes 2 hands to clap) and in my eyes, he was with a very mature girl (same age) but he is just a child who couldn't handle the intrincacies of a serious relationship.
When things started to blow up (between him and me, him and girlfriend, him and everyone at home) constantly, I started to pay much more attention to him. Anyway, things begun to heat up still - till one night, when we had an argument, he hit me. :elvis:That was 3 months ago. It is taking me time to forgive him (and it doesn't help with his constant lies). But I then found out that he had sex with his girlfriend since last year.
It happened that he was at his dad's for the mid year holidays (in Malaysia) and because of the constant promises that he won't have sex (my condition was that after 16, he can do what he likes even though I prefer when he is much much older) but I made him promise. I said to him very frequently: I don't approve of you having a girlfriend, but I rather you not hide stuff from me, so I have no choice :we2Randy-git:but to support you. I don't have my eye on you 24 hours, but if I ever find out that you have had sex before your are 16, you are out of my house.
So, after that, I called him (he was in Malaysia) and told him that he is not coming home and staying with his father. He started shouting that he would never see me again if I did that to him and hung up on me.
It has been only 10 days since that decision, and almost a month which I haven't seen him, and now that he is not around, I do miss him. :embarrassed: Alot. I am starting to think why I did not forgive him for hitting me? (As I have been quite mean to him (rather than I love you, sweetie, it was like go to your room and don't irritate me). My husband says that hitting his mom is a very bad thing (of course my very un-understanding ex says that I should get over it as it was 3 months ago).
I was hoping that when my son was away for 2 weeks that I would have some breathing space and when he returns, our relationship would improve.
Anyway, I am just sad and a little confused.:err:I am not sure what I am asking, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your patience in reading my saga.
My older son has just turned 15 and for the past one year, he has been a completely different person. I don't need to be a genius to know why - he started dating a girl (I don't believe it is her "fault" as it takes 2 hands to clap) and in my eyes, he was with a very mature girl (same age) but he is just a child who couldn't handle the intrincacies of a serious relationship.
When things started to blow up (between him and me, him and girlfriend, him and everyone at home) constantly, I started to pay much more attention to him. Anyway, things begun to heat up still - till one night, when we had an argument, he hit me. :elvis:That was 3 months ago. It is taking me time to forgive him (and it doesn't help with his constant lies). But I then found out that he had sex with his girlfriend since last year.
It happened that he was at his dad's for the mid year holidays (in Malaysia) and because of the constant promises that he won't have sex (my condition was that after 16, he can do what he likes even though I prefer when he is much much older) but I made him promise. I said to him very frequently: I don't approve of you having a girlfriend, but I rather you not hide stuff from me, so I have no choice :we2Randy-git:but to support you. I don't have my eye on you 24 hours, but if I ever find out that you have had sex before your are 16, you are out of my house.
So, after that, I called him (he was in Malaysia) and told him that he is not coming home and staying with his father. He started shouting that he would never see me again if I did that to him and hung up on me.
It has been only 10 days since that decision, and almost a month which I haven't seen him, and now that he is not around, I do miss him. :embarrassed: Alot. I am starting to think why I did not forgive him for hitting me? (As I have been quite mean to him (rather than I love you, sweetie, it was like go to your room and don't irritate me). My husband says that hitting his mom is a very bad thing (of course my very un-understanding ex says that I should get over it as it was 3 months ago).
I was hoping that when my son was away for 2 weeks that I would have some breathing space and when he returns, our relationship would improve.
Anyway, I am just sad and a little confused.:err:I am not sure what I am asking, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your patience in reading my saga.