Mandy Wong
Member
Since he say he haven't find the right time to talk to his wife, so when is the right time?
Any idea why he still not divorcing his wife?
Any idea why he still not divorcing his wife?
between my daughter & him
- Thread starter friendlypinky
- Start date
friendlypinky
Member
he my ex boss, stay in Serangoon, 3 boys, wife working as HR, abortion before, now using IUD.
timing, as his youngest son always sick, dont feel like telling her at this times, I understand how the feeling too,
I ownself as a parent when my daughter is sick.
I bring up the issue also as I dont want our relantionships to be like that, so secretly, cannot go out together openly,
mostly JB only, I want to look up legally as his WIFE, not some 3rd party, family breaker.
sometimes I dont like when he say somethings about his familys things, especially with her, I feel jealous.
I already try my best talk to my daughter to accept him but the answer still no, she had the reasons too as mention
before 1 of her classmate say her stepfather always treat her badly, always beat her mother, comes home drunk, etc
she scared he will be like that 1 day later, she saw us quarrel & beat me & do somethings before too, she is 9 years
old & can remember all those things in her mind.
I feel very sad as I dont want to loose my daughter & him, what should I do ?
timing, as his youngest son always sick, dont feel like telling her at this times, I understand how the feeling too,
I ownself as a parent when my daughter is sick.
I bring up the issue also as I dont want our relantionships to be like that, so secretly, cannot go out together openly,
mostly JB only, I want to look up legally as his WIFE, not some 3rd party, family breaker.
sometimes I dont like when he say somethings about his familys things, especially with her, I feel jealous.
I already try my best talk to my daughter to accept him but the answer still no, she had the reasons too as mention
before 1 of her classmate say her stepfather always treat her badly, always beat her mother, comes home drunk, etc
she scared he will be like that 1 day later, she saw us quarrel & beat me & do somethings before too, she is 9 years
old & can remember all those things in her mind.
I feel very sad as I dont want to loose my daughter & him, what should I do ?
Mandy Wong
Member
He beat you????
Missy10
Active Member
Pardon my HARSH words
But being a woman too, nobody can stand her man having an affair with another woman outside, why dont you put yourself in his wife's shoe, having to be a working mum and taking care of the family.....
And the husband was outside having good time with you be it in SG or JB, you are still considered having the wife's husband
The world is round..... if you continues, he is the one enjoying the best of two world and you and your daughter, his wife and their sons were the one suffering (mind the "their", you are always an outsider)
Either you end the relationship and move on.... You dun expect him to divorce but you cant stand the title as a third party, go think properly what do you really want? I think you cant discuss this with your friends too...
And if you really want him to divorce, you have to threaten... you claimed that everytime you bring up the topic, will have quarrel because he knows your weakness - you cant live without him, therefore he will start the quarrel
You have to move on... is he the only man you have in this world??
But being a woman too, nobody can stand her man having an affair with another woman outside, why dont you put yourself in his wife's shoe, having to be a working mum and taking care of the family.....
And the husband was outside having good time with you be it in SG or JB, you are still considered having the wife's husband
The world is round..... if you continues, he is the one enjoying the best of two world and you and your daughter, his wife and their sons were the one suffering (mind the "their", you are always an outsider)
Either you end the relationship and move on.... You dun expect him to divorce but you cant stand the title as a third party, go think properly what do you really want? I think you cant discuss this with your friends too...
And if you really want him to divorce, you have to threaten... you claimed that everytime you bring up the topic, will have quarrel because he knows your weakness - you cant live without him, therefore he will start the quarrel
You have to move on... is he the only man you have in this world??
After reading your story, I think he still has feelings for his wife as you were saying his youngest son always falls sick & he doesn't want
to talk to her about divorce at this time. Sorry to say this but if he really loves you more than his wife, he won't keep delaying for 5 years
already.
I also agree with some of the mummies here saying that if he can cheat on his wife while still legally married to him, he can still do the
same to you in future too. I know you don't want to hear all these but usually "dang ju zhe mi", you love him too much until you can't
see clearly what is really going on now. We women are usually ruled by the heart & when the man keeps telling you he loves you with
words & by having sex with you, he is just satisfying his own pleasure as he knows very well you love him very much & is trying to take
advantage of all these from you. Until there is concrete action from him ie. file for divorce, then we will agree that he really loves you.
On a personal note, I don't encourage anyone to get the man to divorce his wife just to be with another as to me, this type of men are
usually not faithful in marriage at all.
KiBin
Member
try not having sex with him for 6 months.. see if he continues to come look for you and say he loves you..
friendlypinky
Member
he beat me once before but I beat him more, even bite him too when he really make me very angry, can’t stand it anymore, even my best friend don’t know I have affair with him, we keep it very secretly, he is 2nd man I with all this years after my husband met an accident 7 years ago, I really love him very much same as he, that’s why he planning to divorce his wife & married me later, I sacrifice a lot to be with him, even to the extend go for abortion after get pregnant by him, now using IUD, safer, I feel very sad as I dont’t want to loose my daughter & him, what should I do ?
between my daughter & him
Pardon me for being direct. You are just a booty call. When he needs you, he finds you. Like what the rest say, u are the third party regardless whether they are not on good terms as both of them are legally married. Actions speak louder than words but he's not showing any actions! You sacrificed too much by aborting your baby! If he really loves you, he would take responsibility and won't allow it to happen. And now u r on IUD. Dont you get it?? He just wants pleasure. He is only committed to his family. Where's your pride and dignity as a woman???!! Don't be fooled by men and their sweet words! I'd rather lose the man that I love than losing my child! How can you even think of comparing them.. Sigh.. Wake up pls..
Pardon me for being direct. You are just a booty call. When he needs you, he finds you. Like what the rest say, u are the third party regardless whether they are not on good terms as both of them are legally married. Actions speak louder than words but he's not showing any actions! You sacrificed too much by aborting your baby! If he really loves you, he would take responsibility and won't allow it to happen. And now u r on IUD. Dont you get it?? He just wants pleasure. He is only committed to his family. Where's your pride and dignity as a woman???!! Don't be fooled by men and their sweet words! I'd rather lose the man that I love than losing my child! How can you even think of comparing them.. Sigh.. Wake up pls..
SarahGurbuxani-Carpio
Moderator
I wouldn't give you any advice regarding the issues between you and your boyfriend. But just to answer your question of which one to choose: your daughter. Reason being, YOU ARE A MOTHER. NOT A WIFE.
My friend has 3 kids with his wife and when he got the mistress pregnant, he divorced his wife and married the third party.
Though I do not agree with his actions, but I won't comment as his relationship with his wife was also problematic even to outsiders.
My point is, if a man wants to divorce his wife, nothing can stop him.
Though I do not agree with his actions, but I won't comment as his relationship with his wife was also problematic even to outsiders.
My point is, if a man wants to divorce his wife, nothing can stop him.
friendlypinky
Member
I didn't tell him I already pregnant that time & go for abortion, he only know later when I'm not feeling well for few days when he came over.
between my daughter & him
There shouldn't be a choice to start with. You are a mother too. Do u really want to see ur daughter and his kids to be unhappy just by u two being together? Do u want ur love to be built on the miseries of others? u'll be able to make the best decision for urself and him if u think carefully of wat matters to u most at the end of the day.
There shouldn't be a choice to start with. You are a mother too. Do u really want to see ur daughter and his kids to be unhappy just by u two being together? Do u want ur love to be built on the miseries of others? u'll be able to make the best decision for urself and him if u think carefully of wat matters to u most at the end of the day.
Re: between my daughter & him
Regarding your post in another thread "am I stupid, being cheated, 3rd party family breaker or ?", I think you have been cheated by him all
these 5 years with his words, sleeping with you & getting you pregnant while still being legally married to his wife.
Please leave him, it is for the good of yourself & your daughter. "Chang tong bu ru duan tong".
Regarding your post in another thread "am I stupid, being cheated, 3rd party family breaker or ?", I think you have been cheated by him all
these 5 years with his words, sleeping with you & getting you pregnant while still being legally married to his wife.
Please leave him, it is for the good of yourself & your daughter. "Chang tong bu ru duan tong".
im going to say this whether u like it or not, U ARE A 3RD PARTY! u mayeel that you are not doing anything wrong but u are actually doing it wrongly! He is married, whether his marriage life is happy or not, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! when u said both of you love each other very much, how can u be so sure u are not 1 sided? like so many mummies had said, if he really love u, he should have divorce long ago, why after 5 years of UNDERGROUND relationship and he still say it still not the time? he is just trying to fool u around! free sex with no commitment, who don wan? some more u are willing. so many ppl said put yrself in his wife shoes, do u really take time to think thru? eg: u are now his wife and suddenly yr relationship with him turn sour and he found another free sex outside, what will u feel? when a marriage broke, and if both husband & wife do not do anything to save it, end up will be divorce. so if he really divorce his wife, he wan custody of his 3 sons, do u wan to be their stepmum? can u really treat them as yr own children? how can u be sure that this man will treat yr daughter as his own? what if he rape yr daughter 1 day? who will u blame?
friendlypinky
Member
this morning, he came over, we disuss the divorce problem again, he will try to talk to his wife, he promise as this been pending quite sometimes too due to his youngest son problem & no hope mending back relationship with his wife, he will file a petition later even if his wife dont agree, I hope he will do it not just talking this time, as I dont want to be like that all the time, very secretly our relationships not in a open way.
but still 1 problem still not yet settle, is my daughter accepting him, how then ? I have been talking to her, telling how he is etc but still she cannot accepting him.
but still 1 problem still not yet settle, is my daughter accepting him, how then ? I have been talking to her, telling how he is etc but still she cannot accepting him.
Since you daughter still can't accept him even though you have been talking to her & telling her more about him, I think there might be more than her fearing
having a stepfather who will beat her etc. As what Alisa said, what if one day he rapes your daughter, who will you blame?
If no matter how hard you try to tell your daughter how good he is, your daughter still can't accept him, I feel that there must be a strong feeling that your
daughter dislikes him. Sometimes a child dare not tell the parent exactly why she cannot accept an adult. If you really love your daughter, pls leave this man,
you may be able to find another unmarried man whom your daughter can accept instead.
having a stepfather who will beat her etc. As what Alisa said, what if one day he rapes your daughter, who will you blame?
If no matter how hard you try to tell your daughter how good he is, your daughter still can't accept him, I feel that there must be a strong feeling that your
daughter dislikes him. Sometimes a child dare not tell the parent exactly why she cannot accept an adult. If you really love your daughter, pls leave this man,
you may be able to find another unmarried man whom your daughter can accept instead.
Mreow Mreow
Member
Hmm...
The sex must be damm good la.
For u both to be clinging unto each other for 5years.
So much so that u can't choose between him n ur gal....
The sex must be damm good la.
For u both to be clinging unto each other for 5years.
So much so that u can't choose between him n ur gal....
friendlypinky
Member
hi Mreow Mreow,
do you think is funny ? do you think I like to do ? how sure is damm good ? you do with him before ?
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Friendlypink, if u don't like doing it then tell him.
It's not good for u if u get pregnant and have to abort again.
Anyway, u can test him. Tell him u are pregnant and see how he react?
maybe yr daughter felt something about him that he is not a good man? children can be very sensitive to these things. its not a hard decision, she is yr own fresh & blood, of course choose yr daughter than a stranger who is still married and do know divorce like what he promised!