Dislike MIL

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Pepper12

Member
I married and had a 4 mth old baby. My mil taking care of my baby coz hubby and I have to work.

I dislike mil coz everything she oso want to care, like we bringing baby out she oso want to ask where we go, and weekends (either sat or sun) I will go back to my mother hse. Got one time when we reach hme, baby was crying so loud. And mil say y cry until like dat, ur popo(grandma) bully u ar. I was damn angry. Wanted to say her, but end up no. I still have to respect her.

I want to put my baby in infant care but dunno wther hubby will disagree.
Pls advice.
 
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simon73

Member
take is easy becoz this is very common betweem DIL and MIL....my spouse and my mother never talked for 3 years even when they see each other
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
i guess it common tt MILs tend to act like this.. possessive of the grandkids..
of cos for me, i wont tolerate if she bad mouths my mum or dad in front of my kids. i will definitely tell her that it is not nice to do so...
if she is alr doing this in front of u, god knows what she might be saying in front of ur kid when u r nt arnd.. it would be feasible to send ur kid to IFC instead.. talk to ur hub abt it.
 
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Pepper12

Member
Thank you for the advice. I did tell him, dunno ur mum will say bad things about me when I not ard. Den he so angry and scold me off, saying me too sensitive. Will try to talk to him again. Thanks~
 
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sgmel

Member
Guy always tends to protect their mum just like us. My husband scolded me as well when I told him I wanted to move back to my parents' house. He kept having this mindset that I actually asked him to leave his parents. Lame. Anyway, why didn't you ask your mum to take care of your son in the first place? MIL die die want to take care ?
 
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Pepper12

Member
My mum have to work. Dat's y mil take care ~ I regret letting her take care. Haha, so I told my hubby if I got second baby I will definitely let my mum take care. I will ask my mum to quit her job.
 
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roudx

Member
wow, heard alot of stories about MIL. Luckily I'm consider "okay" with my MIL with no arguments before. Because I respect her as my hubby's mother. Every time I am upset over my MIL, I will keep quiet then head to the room and complain to my hubby. Usually he will listen to me nagging and complaining.
My hubby don't side his mother that much as other sons will do... Because he knew his mother is very unreasonable..
I'm due on June... That's our 1st child, not sure how will MIL reacts. Initially I suggested to her to quit her job to help take care of BB while we give her allowance monthly. She agreed. Now she rejected because she said if working, can get Government money (give every 3months or something one) Make me so upset, so I plan to bring to my friend place to let her take care while I work then carry back after finish work.
 
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Pepper12

Member
Hahas. I think like dat more good, don't let mil take care. All my colleagues and fren ard me, is their mum take care of their baby. Only me.
 
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lyra

Member
Infant care will be my last choice. I've a friend who worked in infant care n she knew how it's like there... Try to put ur kids in CC only when they r 18 mth or best, 24mth. N best if they can talk. Teachers r less likely to bully kids who can complain.

I agree letting ur mom take care is the best. Good luck!
 
quincy1986

quincy1986

Active Member
pepper. u tell yourself your mil old already.
old people start to behave more and more childish because their brain old already.
u say she want to know about where you go.
my fil is also like that. starting i will answer him but after that i give up.
because i am a soft spoken person and he cannot hear me. i need to scream on top of my voice.
my hb see i like no voice already so from then on he answer all my fil question for me.
and my fil also seldom talk to me now because like i said i am very soft spoken.
i know this does not help. just sharing :p
 
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Pepper12

Member
hey, thanks for sharing. I just need to endure my mil till apr.
My flat is up, just gotten the hdb letter. Think i will hire maid, so let maid take care of my baby.
 
vonniesia

vonniesia

Member
My mil only look after my babyboy 5mths old mostly on weekends only and i also buay tahan already lol my mum is the main caregiver and i think thats really the best. However if let me choose infant care or mil, i will still choose mil cos afterall she is baby's grandma, wont bully him no matter what..even maid also cannot trust de.
 
tcmy

tcmy

Member
Pepper, bare with it first bah.. i think most of the mummies here are facing the same situation *including me*

Sry i gonna rant it out here.. well..
Most ILs are like this.. Like me, before marriage.. they treat me gd like im their daughter. After married, everything counts in money.. e.g. when they know u have $, they talk to u nicely. Once they know ur wallet tight, everything changes..
They will complain anything they can think of. Worst is only me n my hubby kana all this shit, the rest of his siblings wont kana at all. We used to give $ to ILs to help up household bill monthly.. n just stopped coz of our bb's $ output is quite high cant manage help out as much. Siblings doesnt give a single cent whereas SIL is earning a much higher pay rate than us.

Best part is when bill out FIL wont rather use the money to buy 4d/TOTO instead of paying bills. Say shit like got buy got hope, no buy no hope, even ask my one month old bb for numbers.. lose le den 拿我们来开刀.. scold us for the bills n everything. Always say till himself very big, this this that that, end up owe pple money. Haiz.

As for MIL, she really loves to bad mouth me n my hubby in front of our bb, behind my back in dialect (as if i dun understand ).. black face me even if i did nothing wrong..everything need follow her experience(experience from last twenty over years) if not i'll see a pissed off face all the time..

What to do? Tell hubby also can change anything.. just hope that they end work late.
 
SarahGurbuxani-Carpio

SarahGurbuxani-Carpio

Moderator
Always take into consideration that your mother in law may not mean you harm. Remember, you're talking about the welfare of your daughter, who is also the flesh and blood of your mother in law. You may not agree at certain areas, but she is the mother of your husband whom you must love the most. You may just be overprotective. Talk to her if there are times that you feel that there are things that you don't agree with. Talking with her does not mean disrespect, it's how you talk to her that does the difference.

Keep well.
 
LyDeeAna

LyDeeAna

Member
I am consider very lucky as i have a very good mil but the unlucky part.. my mum is bad... my mil is very understanding n is always open to new suggestions n always let me decide on things... only when she see certain not good things.. she will bring up to me.. give suggestion n will still leave final decision to me...
 
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