Do ur child cry when go to school??

[vernia"2212]

Hi..

My gal just start her playgroup life.. Cry alot there,even though I accompany her.
Do ur child like dat?hw do u handle dis problem?
Some of my frens said just leave them cry.later on they will get used with new environment.
Do u agree? Can u share with me ur opinion? Very hard pain see she cry when I try to leave her

 

[BaoAloysiusBei]

just let her cry.. u cannot accompany her always once of these day u will have to let her attend her playgroup alone.. so try not to accompany too long and she will get used to it.. and once u want to let her go in and enjoy herself she will cry again.. just let her cry and soon she will get used..

 

[camom]

I was told to just let my tod go. He takes the sch bus and we were told to just put him on the bus and wave byebye. No draggy goodbyes and no going to sch with him. It worked cos he didn't cry fr the 1st day.

 

[cmeilim]

my 19mo boy just started CCC today. we went with him and stayed for a while. he started off really happy and exploring the environment on his own actively. we have been telling him about starting school. but one thing we didn't get to do today was to bade him a proper goodbye. before we realised, the teacher had closed their classroom door after breakfast. when other kids started crying, and i think he must have looked around and realised he can't see daddy and mummy, he got affected and also started crying. but compared to other kids, he didn't cry as much, only on and off a bit, from the few times we peeped into the room without his knowledge. we left in mid-morning, and only went back to pick him up after work.

he probably was starting to feel anxious that other kids were picked up by their parents already and his own parents were still nowhere in sight, so when he caught sight of my hubby, he burst out crying. the teacher assured us this response was normal, so we are not too worried. we too believe that he will soon adapt to his new caregivers and friends in the new environment as he is naturally quite outgoing. his teachers also said that he coped pretty well for a first day.

what we will do tomorrow, will be to bring him there, and then say a firm goodbye to him and leave him with his teachers for breakfast.

 

[vernia"2212]

U mean u will say goodbye to him? I saw some of the parents leave them without words.i tink is incorrect rite? I ever told my gal goodbye n mummy will cm back later,she start cry n don let off my hands.. Tomolo is her 4th day of school.I wonder do I nd to continue accompany her til few days or leave her? Confused!!haizz....

 

[candy_ian]

Is your child in the drop off playgroup? To me, my son started in the accompanied class since 7 months. Even in the accompanied class for so long he didn't get used to the drop off prog in the same environment.
He loved going to classes until I started him on the drop off class n he started crying at night n refuse to go to school whenever I mention it to him.. Then I knew I had to move him
Back to the accompanied class n now he's back to the usual class loving boy..
To me I feel that if he is ok with drop off then it's bonus to me n I will have a little time to myself otherwise I'm ok with it too and when they reach an age when they r ready then they will b.
But then again I know parents who just leave them to cry n they will get used to it. It's just me heart pain n can't bear to make him go thru that when I want it to b enjoyable to him.. Can u imagine paying so much to watch him
Cry..

 

[cmeilim]

yup, i think kids will feel more secure with proper goodbyes and assurances from parents that they will come back to collect them at the end of the day, rather than have parents who suddenly vanish without a word. when we say our goodbye tomorrow, we will probably get the teacher to coordinate with us by leading our boy to something else - toys or books or breakfast - so that he gets distracted and not cling onto us.

 

[cmeilim]

maybe it makes a difference if your kid has been taken care by you personally all along before playgroup, rather than by another caregiver (even if it's grandparents). i would imagine that if it is the former, it will probably be more traumatic for the kid to be dropped off. if u hv a choice between drop-off and accompanied programmes and your kid's personality requires your attention more, then you could consider giving her more time. in my case, it's a CCC, so it's definitely drop-off only and the CCC won't allow parents to hang around after 2 days, so i just have to be cool about his (sometimes) crying and monitor the situation from there.

 

[PinkDiamonds]

My DD started child care at 18 months. It was quite abrupt as we didn't have any intentions before that to send her to child care, so we didn't really prepare her much.

Is there anyone in the child care whom she feels more secure around? Before she started, we brought her together to enroll and she got to know one of the admin staff there. On her 1st day I accompanied her in to let her get used to it. She didn't want to let me go off too. As a SAHM she's so used to me being around plus it's a new environment so it's unavoidable that she will feel scared. So the admin staff whom she knew earlier on carried her and told her to say goodbye to mummy.

For the first week she cried when we said bye bye to her, but now she's gotten used to it. When we send her to school she will happily wave bye to us and give us a flying kiss. She is also used to the routine. Once step inside, sit down and take off shoes. When we pick her up she is so happy to see us! During the first week my parents helped to pick her up as I had to stay home. After school they brought her out to eat or shopping for a while as a "reward" for being in school for such long hours.

 

[CocoaBear]

My kid cry for a month since placing in playgroup. After a month, no more crying but happily waving to us good-bye. First, have to be patient... as it is just a phrase. Tell your child you need to go off to work and will pick up much later in the evening before you left. Give a hug and wave good bye.

One fine day they will understand.

 

[Frenchkitty]

I believe learning should be fun and an enjoyable experience, not something the child dreads every morning. She should be looking forward to it.
I prepared my son (currently he is 19mths he also just started Playschool this mth/this year) by bringing him to the school during enrolment and let him mingle with the existing kids, and also we walked past the school while the children were having outdoor activities.
When school started 1st day, I was with him throughout the 4hours. The next day, accompanied him for only 2 hours, then followed by lesser and lesser timing to gradually blend him in. Also, I gradually faded my existance to just sitting at a corner and not being beside him in the activities.

Of course, whining and pining for me/my MIL is inevitable at this age, but he has never cried before. Now is his 2nd week of school.

 

[candy_ian]

I think it all boils down to the perserverance the parents have.. As the only caregiver for my son, he's sticks to me like a leech.. I exposed him to classes n brings him out almost daily either park trip or marketing so I'm v sure he's not shy of strangers just that he needa to know mummy is ard.. It was an option for me to let him go thru drop off of accompanied prog so seeing what he went thru during the drop off made me make up my mind that he will b in te accompanied calss until he's ready... I believe when they r ready to go n explore without mummy they will b and that wld b when he's ready for pre school.. I bring him tO his future
Pre school almost once or twice a wk to pick up his cousin from there.. So he knows the teachers n the place pretty well so I'm hoping he wld cope better next yr when he starts preschool

 

[Frenchkitty]

Do take heart vernia, despite how well-prepared we are as parents, children cry - that's a universal law. They express negative emotions by crying.
As long as her behavior is not drastically affected ie, she's losing inerest in learning, she's withdrawn and quieter than usual then hopefully slowly over 1-2 weeks she will be used to school

 

[cmeilim]

yup, i agree that crying is a normal behaviour of children as long as other behavioural patterns are not adversely affected, ie view the situation holistically, big-picture.

Today is the fifth morning and the first time i dropped off my boy myself at the CCC, and he was more clingy to me and more whiny than when it was just his father dropping him off. even tho there are still short spells of wailing and whining, we are encouraged that the teachers have been telling us that he is improving day by day. other positive signs are that he is maintaining a healthy appetite. he usually eats more than a normal toddler, and true to form, he has continued eating two servings during lunch and tea, and has learnt to ask his teacher for them in the past week. he is now comfortable to be carried by and to sit quietly in the laps of the teachers without crying. best of all, he wakes up on time in the morning on his own. when we tell him it's time to get ready for school, he enthusiastically carries his little doraemon backpack, without any struggle to wear his uniform or shoes. we are not sure if it's all due to exposure in the CCC since it's only been a short space of four days, but just within this week alone, we have heard him utter several new words which we have never taught him before (eg 'auntie', 'book', 'milk', 'pig', 'bun', 'gurt' for yoghurt, 'blue') and he is always very pleased to show off his new vocabulary in front of us. so it seems that amid that crying/whining, or should i say despite the crying/whining, he is still able to learn new things. surely, this must be a positive sign.

 

[Amulet]

my girl cried for whole 2 months wen she first attend sch (childcare playgroup).. even have had episodes of her refusing to change into sch uniform, nightmares, clinging onto the house gate, wail and cry all the way..

persevered with a proper good bye hug and kiss and just walk out of the centre leaving her behind crying her lungs out.. was tough at first but eventually everything just straighten itself..

now, she just kiss and wave byebye to me happily and goes off to play with her friends, can't even be bothered with me much once we reaches school..

 

[raeka]

Hmm my boy not in playgroup but in pre-nusery . He cried for the 1st day there after slowly better. I didn't say bye to him as my pcf there is see through window . I tell him mummy at the window .
But I disappear when he calm down.
I'm lucky , the teacher there have patient with the kids. They know wat the kids "pattern" they slowly coax them.

 

[jasobias]

My kids never did cry but some of their classmates did.I recall one crying for more than 5 months!But yes they do get used to the environment.Its just a matter of getting used to.Maybe u cld get her excited for school,let her bring snacks to share with frens etc
but dont worry the crying will be over b4 u know it..hang in there


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[Frenchkitty]

Hmm my boy not in playgroup but in pre-nusery . He cried for the 1st day there after slowly better. I didn't say bye to him as my pcf there is see through window . I tell him mummy at the window .
But I disappear when he calm down.
I'm lucky , the teacher there have patient with the kids. They know wat the kids "pattern" they slowly coax them.

Yes my son's PCF also open-window concept and the teachers there all are very nice, different classes teachers also know all pupils names, regardless whether that child is in their class or not. When they see me they will tell eachother "Kai kai's mommy is here, Kai kai your mommy is here"
I like the environment alot, helps the children settle in faster.