do you spank? at wat age do you start disciplining your babies?
do you spank? at wat age do you start disciplining your babies?
haha u r funny "upgrade to cane" but u noe, i have the book too. And initially I used to use positive discipline, but maybe I am weak, my dotter outlast me. If i tell her no firmly (for taking the corner protector and putting into her mouth) 20 times in a row, she will do it 21 times in a row. And yes i truly LACK THAT kind of patience lehYes I do discipline my child, by giving him boundaries. And yes I do beat him, on the hand or palm rather.....next time will upgrade probably use the cane, but of cos when he does really really bad or wrong things then cane him.
My brother uses the positive approach like Tika, but both my nephew, in front of the parent behaves positively, but behind them, behaves otherwise....
I am not saying positive approach is no good, dont't get me wrong......
Your thread will bring in debates on whether spanking is ideal or not. haha. Get ready for many opinions from many mothers here. (altho i won't be surprised if many say spare the rod? spoil the child! )
I discipline my children the moment I sense that they can understand me. However, I do not physically punish them.
I am a firm believer of Positive Discipline for children age 3 and below (title of a book). The book discourages spanking, screaming, belittling (labelling), and other negative ways of discipline towards a child.
(taken from an excerpt of the book)
Positive Discipline is effective with children from birth to 3yrs old because it is different from conventional discipline. When ppl talk about discipline, they usually mean punishment cos they believe the two are one and the same. Real discipline, however, involves teaching. Positive Discipline is all about teaching, understanding, encouraging and communicating - not about punishing. Much of what your little one does in their early years (0-3yrs) has more to do with emotional, physical and cognitive development and age appropriate behaviour than it does with 'misbehaviour'. Babies and toddlers need nonpunitive discipline that enhances their development - not blame, shame and pain.
After reading afew chapters, I was reallllly, trullllly, superrrr skeptical with their approach (mainly because I was brought up the typical asian way, spanked, belittled, ridiculed, shamed, etc). But hubby and I decided to give it a try.
Its been almost a year since we bought the book. We have never spanked our 22 month old girl yet her teachers and a mother of another toddler (she was in class everyday cos her son kicks and smacks the teacher when he's upset) kept exclaiming how well behaved, smart and independant she is for her age. She listens to instructions very well too. When they asked how we discipline her, we just said we do it positively.
But I have to say, it was truly difficult for spouse and i (ok me especially) to be positive ALL THE TIME. A tremendous amount of patience is key. I can only say so much. I think for someone to really understand what i'm talking about, they would probably have to read the book. But like me, you will definitely ask... surrrre or not this author. Never spank can be obedient mehhh???
(disclaimer: I wasn't paid to promote this book. Just sharing my knowledge and what I've learnt through trial and error. I've read many and this one works best for my child. Different child, different ways of upbringing, different levels of patience, will produce different results horrr. parents should always find the best methods for their child. never follow blindly. )
my dotter likes to play with water. she suck a lot of water n puuuuuuu puuuu out! :bmad:i do shout at my girl sometimes n then hit her hands at times too. i dont really know how i can discipline her other than these. how to use a soft approach n make her listen? i do praise n all too when she do things right n of cos i do tell her what not to do n what to do(as in what is right n what is wrong etc) but at times she really piss me off eg pushes off the spoon and drop all the food onto the floor during meals, purposely throw her cup or bowl of food on the floor when throwing a tantrums.. these, i will hit her hand n tell her not to throw things onto the floor..
I thought picking corner protectors & mouthing things are developmental behv for children below 12-15 mth. My 10-mth old does that too. I just fixed corners with very strong foam tape (rubber was too attractive material) and remove toys from her.haha you r funny "upgrade to cane" but you know, i have the book too. And initially I used to use positive discipline, but maybe I am weak, my dotter outlast me. If i tell her no firmly (for taking the corner protector and putting into her mouth) 20 times in a row, she will do it 21 times in a row. And yes i truly LACK THAT kind of patience
But she is one willful and bad tempered child and I know that if I dont discipline her from now.... I cannot imagine the days to come with her in a shop, in a class, in public and when she is a teenager. So I must learn to pull the reigns now.
I've already started spanking my boy when he's around 8 months old!!
I'm not an abusive mum but i admit i lack patience too...super hate it when he throws tantrums and screams at top of his lungs!
But i dont't spank him when we're out...he seems to sense that and is even more atrocious when we're outside...and he's incorrigible when grandparents are around!!!
Sometimes spanking helps... my boy loves to fiddle with power switches and sockets...after a few spankings he's learnt not to do it...when adults are around...once in a while he forgets and still does that and i'd firmly say NO to him 10 seconds to let him back off before i spank him...
No spanking under few circumstances; he breaks a glass, spills his drink or throws his toys around etc...all these are either accidents or can be told off verbally...if not he'll be confused why mummy beats me up at whatever things i've done??
ouch! isnt canning too young for your boy?My boy is absolutely stubborn and the 'soft approach' which we tried before he turned 2yo never worked. He was only caned on the palm less than 5 times and he understood what it means..
I havent tried time-out on her although my brother is using this method successfully on my nephew. Yes I must use different words di, cos she woke up this morning and her first word was "no-no".Haha jojoki. so cute your girl Sleep talks. Maybe instead of saying no, you can say it's dangerous? I use words like 'dangerous' and 'dirty' more than 'no'. I try not to use the word no to my girl so she won't say no back to me haha.