Employing maid

chachaleo

Member
I tink it boils down to the point of the maid themselves when it comes to allowing or disallowing them to use hp. Personally i allow my maid to use her hp but i told her before that i will allow her to use it during the nite time only n indeed she use it after my baby ger is aslp.

no matter what still thanks alot for feedback to me on your way of practice on your maid regarding my qns~ 1st time engage maid so kinda clueless dont know what are the things we need to pay for the maid~
yes.tat's wat we agreed..to use the hp when im bk hm she can excuse for a few mins to make phone call..but she use behind my back i knew..but i just keep quiet. N later she can openly admit she did use..but she jus keep quiet after tat n pretend nothing happen. so tat's y it's really diff to 'maintain' unless u r stay at hm mum can supervise. Even when my mum arrives to visit my kids when im nt ard ..she openly text her hp.

Nw my kids piggy bank has discrepancies..im tinking of using a hidden camera to check what's gg on

Nw she
 

LoVeS

Well-Known Member
yes.that's what we agreed..to use the hp when im back hm she can excuse for a few mins to make phone call..but she use behind my back i knew..but i just keep quiet. N later she can openly admit she did use..but she just keep quiet after that n pretend nothing happen. so that's why it's really diff to 'maintain' unless you are stay at hm mum can supervise. Even when my mum arrives to visit my kids when im not around ..she openly text her hp.

now my kids piggy bank has discrepancies..im thinking of using a hidden camera to check what's gg on

now she
u ever tot of haf a gd tok wif ur maid over tis issue??
 

chachaleo

Member
you ever thought of have a good tok with your maid over tis issue??
It's diff nw..Loves.

She has been w me for 2 yrs and a half and this has already been happening very long time ago. i hv already 'thrash' it out w her..if i can't tahan her attitude i will ask her to pack n go so she can't complain i hv nt told her abt it.Nw her attitude is better i do nt know is it becos she's gg bk for her hm leave in 2 mths time.

But all i can said it's my maid is already 'spoilt' by me liao. Before my maid arrives, my mentality is already 'as long as my kids r safe nthing happens to them, close my eyes to watever' even my agent asks me to b realistic when it comes to hving a maid. Tat's y i hv been treating her very well when she first arrives. it's only when i come across things which i hv been repeatingly tell her tat i hv to tell her off..she gets defensive n raise her voice at me. Whoa i can tell u. im so angry and best thing is she does nt apologise n jus keep quiet.

btw if im nt wrong u r a stay at hm mum rite, at least u r there to supervise her. For us , working mums is diff, i can't always ask my mum to come over n my MIL is looking after my niece. So is really close 1 eyes at least. sorry if i bored u over all my frustration. But wat im trying to say is for u at least is still easier to monitor her.
 

ping26

Member
It's diff now..Loves.

She has been w me for 2 yrs and a half and this has already been happening very long time ago. i have already 'thrash' it out w her..if i can't tahan her attitude i will ask her to pack n go so she can't complain i have not told her about it.now her attitude is better i do not know is it becos she's gg back for her hm leave in 2 mths time.

But all i can said it's my maid is already 'spoilt' by me . Before my maid arrives, my mentality is already 'as long as my kids are safe nthing happens to them, close my eyes to watever' even my agent asks me to b realistic when it comes to hving a maid. that's why i have been treating her very well when she first arrives. it's only when i come across things which i have been repeatingly tell her that i have to tell her off..she gets defensive n raise her voice at me. Whoa i can tell you. im so angry and best thing is she does not apologise n just keep quiet.
hi, sorry to jump in so late...

which is why 1st time employer shld never get a transfer maid. If u are soft-spoken & nice, don't allow handphone or off-day at 1st. We think the maid will be "automatic" but it's not going to happen for some maids.

The younger maids tend to have a "bright city lights" attitude, so basically they're here to see Singapore & want a good time on off-day. Nothing wrong, except that some forget they also have a job or they have sexual relationships w sexually promiscuous partners. Or act like spoilt kids.:eek:
If they have a colourful lifestyle, they will need money to maintain that std of living. it's either stealing, borrowing or moonlighting (cleaning or prostitution) or boyfriend.

Your maid is so rude to you. She can only get worse, not better. If she's love-sick, expect total dereliction of duties.

I think yr agent is unprofessional. Instead of counselling maid, she tells u to accept arguing back & raised voice.
(I assume that u usu don't raise your voice at her.)

Since yr maid's going on home leave, why don't u take the opp to change her cos u have to take leave anyway?

BTW some agents charge on $188 for maid fee w no replacement. I think it's also good that u r not stuck to an agent for replacement. It's a matter of luck anyway. Just get fresh helper fr Indo. It takes abt 1-2 mth to select suitable helper.

Be a good employer. But always make it clear to yr helper that u r in charge & u will not hesitate to sack her if she does not do her job properly. remind her regularly that trust has to be earned & maintained.

I find it easier to start fresh & old habits just don't go away (each acting stint lasts abt 2-4 wks), so I changed my prev maid.
 

chachaleo

Member
hi, sorry to jump in so late...

which is why 1st time employer shld never get a transfer maid. If you are soft-spoken & nice, dont't allow handphone or off-day at 1st. We think the maid will be "automatic" but it's not going to happen for some maids.

The younger maids tend to have a "bright city lights" attitude, so basically they're here to see Singapore & want a good time on off-day. Nothing wrong, except that some forget they also have a job or they have sexual relationships w sexually promiscuous partners. Or act like spoilt kids.:eek:
If they have a colourful lifestyle, they will need money to maintain that std of living. it's either stealing, borrowing or moonlighting (cleaning or prostitution) or boyfriend.

Your maid is so rude to you. She can only get worse, not better. If she's love-sick, expect total dereliction of duties.

I think your agent is unprofessional. Instead of counselling maid, she tells you to accept arguing back & raised voice.
(I assume that you usu dont't raise your voice at her.)

Since your maid's going on home leave, why dont't you take the opp to change her cos you have to take leave anyway?

BTW some agents charge on $188 for maid fee w no replacement. I think it's also good that you are not stuck to an agent for replacement. It's a matter of luck anyway. Just get fresh helper fr Indo. It takes about 1-2 month to select suitable helper.

Be a good employer. But always make it clear to your helper that you are in charge & you will not hesitate to sack her if she does not do her job properly. remind her regularly that trust has to be earned & maintained.

I find it easier to start fresh & old habits just dont't go away (each acting stint lasts about 2-4 wks), so I changed my prev maid.
hi Ping26

My agent is very good, he's just telling me dun be demanding becos she's new in singapore (nt a transfer maid) advising me to be reasonable in certain things which i follow and oso she's my 1st maid, i guess i hv been too lenient to her since the day 1. But taking of 2 kids is really nt easy somemore same age so i won't get angry if she can't finish her tasks.

I must admit i do raise voices to her when im really fed up w what she did but she will raise her voice to retort bk..she's very defensive n prideful to apologise (this is wat i dislike abt her). Otherwise i must say she can handle my kids quite well. If nt for this, i hv already send her bk. Before renewing her i hv been debating whether to renew her contract and i eventually did so becos i tot i can 'tahan' her attitude but few mths later same thing happen. end up i 'thrash' out w her (sit down n hv a serious talk) tat if u continue show me black face when i point out ur mistake or retort bk i won't hesitate to send u bk. I will ask u to pack n go so dun say i nv inform u. These few times, she did control her temper n accept it when i point out the mistake.

However u r right, since she's gg bk hm leave i can change another maid n train again. Hopefully, the new 1 will be better. (keeping my fingers cross).
 

potato

Member
I guess it depends on luck and trust.. My maid is from a poor village, but we treat each other like a family. Plus, she has patience too! I've had maids since birth, and i prefer them to be from the philippines! I wish all mummies good luck in finding a suitable maid! :)
 

LoVeS

Well-Known Member
It's diff now..Loves.

She has been w me for 2 yrs and a half and this has already been happening very long time ago. i have already 'thrash' it out w her..if i can't tahan her attitude i will ask her to pack n go so she can't complain i have not told her about it.now her attitude is better i do not know is it becos she's gg back for her hm leave in 2 mths time.

But all i can said it's my maid is already 'spoilt' by me . Before my maid arrives, my mentality is already 'as long as my kids are safe nthing happens to them, close my eyes to watever' even my agent asks me to b realistic when it comes to hving a maid. that's why i have been treating her very well when she first arrives. it's only when i come across things which i have been repeatingly tell her that i have to tell her off..she gets defensive n raise her voice at me. Whoa i can tell you. im so angry and best thing is she does not apologise n just keep quiet.

btw if im not wrong you are a stay at hm mum rite, at least you are there to supervise her. For us , working mums is diff, i can't always ask my mum to come over n my mother in law is looking after my niece. So is really close 1 eyes at least. sorry if i bored you over all my frustration. But what im trying to say is for you at least is still easier to monitor her.
yes it very true tat as a sahm i am able to monitor the maid but to be frank i was pretty against the idea of hiring a maid due to so many abuse cases i read frm news but i am really in need of help frm a maid.

But luckily for me, my maid has been really a gd helper n been very "guai" nt too sure is it bcoz she is new in SG as a maid ~ She was a transfer maid n been in SG since Aug but the previous employer got prob wif her as she is nt really gd in cooking.

To me cooking or nt isnt a big issue but rather taking care of my younger daughter n it seem like things been pretty gd so far~ I really hope things would juz continue as it is like now~ coz i really read so many mummies shared their experiences where they treated their maids well in the beginning n later the maid turn worse~ I juz can keep my fingers cross :embarrassed:
 

LoVeS

Well-Known Member
hi Ping26

My agent is very good, he's just telling me dont be demanding becos she's new in singapore (not a transfer maid) advising me to be reasonable in certain things which i follow and also she's my 1st maid, i guess i have been too lenient to her since the day 1. But taking of 2 kids is really not easy somemore same age so i won't get angry if she can't finish her tasks.

I must admit i do raise voices to her when im really fed up w what she did but she will raise her voice to retort back..she's very defensive n prideful to apologise (this is what i dislike about her). Otherwise i must say she can handle my kids quite well. If not for this, i have already send her back. Before renewing her i have been debating whether to renew her contract and i eventually did so becos i thought i can 'tahan' her attitude but few mths later same thing happen. end up i 'thrash' out w her (sit down n have a serious talk) that if you continue show me black face when i point out your mistake or retort back i won't hesitate to send you back. I will ask you to pack n go so dont say i never inform you. These few times, she did control her temper n accept it when i point out the mistake.

However you are right, since she's gg back hm leave i can change another maid n train again. Hopefully, the new 1 will be better. (keeping my fingers cross).
If i were to be in ur shoe i will rather change another maid n re-train the maid again then to suffer when u r the 1 paying ur maid the salary~
 

chachaleo

Member
If i were to be in your shoe i will rather change another maid n re-train the maid again then to suffer when you are the 1 paying your maid the salary~
Yes Loves, that's y i have just employ a new maid (she shld start work ard nx fri) but i hv yet to inform my current maid tat i'm sending her bk earlier n we intend to tell her tat im putting my kids in childcare so as nt to hurt her feelings.

To b frank im sad too as she is my first maid n been w me for more than 2 ys the feeling is there. Furthermore her attitude has improved for these 2-3 wks. But i discovered she has slack in her work and to ask her to do things more thoroughly would prove to b diff becos she's so used to her current style. It's gg to 2 wks n my hand towel & toilet has nt been washed :p. I always wait until she's free then she will do.

Anyway, good luck in your maid n hope she can maintain her good attitude & behaviour :)
 

LoVeS

Well-Known Member
Yes Loves, that's why i have just employ a new maid (she shld start work around nx fri) but i have yet to inform my current maid that i'm sending her back earlier n we intend to tell her that im putting my kids in childcare so as not to hurt her feelings.

To b frank im sad too as she is my first maid n been w me for more than 2 ys the feeling is there. Furthermore her attitude has improved for these 2-3 wks. But i discovered she has slack in her work and to ask her to do things more thoroughly would prove to b diff becos she's so used to her current style. It's gg to 2 wks n my hand towel & toilet has not been washed :p. I always wait until she's free then she will do.

Anyway, good luck in your maid n hope she can maintain her good attitude & behaviour :)
yes i can understand ur feeling of been sad coz after all been together everyday for the past 2 yrs liao~ Sure got feeling one lor~
 

blue_skies

New Member
I have an Indo maid and I give her one $10 phonecard a month (Chat Chat Phonecard) to call home using my house phone.

She wanted to buy a hp using her salary, I agreed and said that she is allowed to use it only at night after she has finished everything. That's usually about 9pm+. She is not allowed to use the phone during the daytime. I tell her the T & C before she buys the phone - if I catch her using the phone during the day, I will confiscate it. She has to agree before I allow her to buy the hp.

She does not watch TV (we dont't watch TV either) so I gave her one of my old radios to listen to music at night.

Other than that, she eats the same food as us (minus the pork), and I pay for her toiletries - shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pads.

Some of the things I do to "make her happy"
- Buy her one or two new T-shirts / shorts from the market maybe once in 4 mths (about $5 each type)
- Buy her cakes / buns every week (cost about $2)
- When she is out with us and we buy drinks, we also ask her whether she wants a drink.

I gave her $20 "ang pow" for her Hari Raya and I'm planning to get her a small X'mas present.
 

candy_ian

Active Member
i just sent my maid back abt a month ago, she was with us for abt 4 months after the previous maid had some issues with her family back home we got this new one. she looked younger than 23 yrs old n first day she came i showed her a timetable for her to follow n basically only housework cos i'm not working n i'll b taking care of DS and not even sterilizing bottles as i'm bfding. she ate what we ate bought her slippers n clothings when she came in cos she had pathetic clothings. paid for her toiletries n my mum would give her like $5 each time we go over her place. The hari raya came and she told me her family back hm no money for celebration so i told her i intend to give her $50 red packet n $50 from my mum but if she were to sent it back minus the remitting fees is nothing much but i can lend her money to send back first since she's still paying her loan. so i lent her $200 plus the $100 from su to send back home. from then on her attitude change she don't do her housework properly n she slps at 9pm and wakes up at 7am. things not clean bowls with soap omg.. i ask her she told her cos i'm not watching so anyhow do.. that's when i decided to send her back cos i think with her i'll have to watch her and get angry everyday might as well i do things on my own. so i really dunnoe if we treat then well they may not return our kindness
 

cutez

New Member
Hi candy,

I am a working part time mum. Like to check with you , do you need to get another maid because Are we supposed to stay with the agent for 1yr plus or so since the work permit for FDW is 2yrs.

Also, my agent says that as employers - we are actually report the maid to Agent to inform them OR else there will be a fine ( for sending maid directly home ). It seems under agent procedure, they must see to it that maid's work permit is cancelled ... and we pay the air ticket money.

Kindly reply if you just verbally inform agent of maid 's repatriation or
Direct send back to agent to do documentation / cancel workpermit.
 

ping26

Member
Hi candy,

I am a working part time mum. Like to check with you , do you need to get another maid because Are we supposed to stay with the agent for 1yr plus or so since the work permit for FDW is 2yrs.

Also, my agent says that as employers - we are actually report the maid to Agent to inform them OR else there will be a fine ( for sending maid directly home ). It seems under agent procedure, they must see to it that maid's work permit is cancelled ... and we pay the air ticket money.

Kindly reply if you just verbally inform agent of maid 's repatriation or
Direct send back to agent to do documentation / cancel workpermit.
hi Cutez

my limited experience is that most agents have this "return clause" in the contract as they want to transfer the maid to another employer. Obj : to recover maid loan in full.
The contract usu states that you shld not jeopardise maid's chances of re-employment (ie you shld not be truthful)

Some contracts come with 1 free replacement. So we may stick to same agent for this reason.

If u repatriate yr maid when yr contract has this 'return' clause, you may not get refund of maid loan or may be fined (as per terms of contract).

If you have hard evidence of maid breaching contract (ie mental illness, stealing, etc), I feel you shld make police report, file report with MOM & insist on repatriation. Otherwise, some agents will focus on making commission. The maid has to pay 1-2 mths' salary for each transfer.

My sis 1st maid (myanmar transfer) drew MANY naked pictures & told my niece weird stories. We have copies of her drawings. The agent still chose to transfer the maid AGAIN. My sis was gullible as 1st-time employer - she was given same story - maid will be transferred to an employer with no kids or elderly, etc. I'm suspect they knew abt her condition but withheld info.

My sis' 3rd maid asked my brother-in-law to change diapers TOGETHER while she's not in. .... Since seduction is not a crime, the agent transferred the maid to "take care of an elderly person."

If there is no maid loan, most agents don't care if u repatriate your maid. Some will cancel work permit for you. Some will tell u to do it yourself. Cancellation of work permit can be done in MOM website easily.

Air tickets purchased fr agents may cost MORE. A one-way ticket (budget) to Indonesia costs abt $90-110, excl taxes. Some may provide transfer services to airport for free or a fee.

Bottomline: pls check with experienced colleagues rgd your contract. You may have a better case for swift refund if credit card company is involved & evidence of breach of contract.

my sis & I haven't repatriated any maids cos we were not informed then & gullible. :embarrassed:
 

cutez

New Member
Thank candy/ ping26/ ms chan

Very grateful for simple advice.
After gathering info, i realise that we must check "our limit" as to how much
the maid can stretch ... things we can close one eye to and things that we have to look out for.

My hubby, very kind, said all maid are the same, they come here to earn money for their family back home, as long as I give proper instruction, the maid will slowly adapt and follow.
 

ping26

Member
Thank candy/ ping26/ ms chan

Very grateful for simple advice.
After gathering info, i realise that we must check "our limit" as to how much
the maid can stretch ... things we can close one eye to and things that we have to look out for.

My hubby, very kind, said all maid are the same, they come here to earn money for their family back home, as long as I give proper instruction, the maid will slowly adapt and follow.
cutez,

men are like this. and we mommies r more fussy or even a little petty.

My brother-in-law thought his maid needed more time & was not 'keng' until she openly invited him to change diapers together. She liked/needed male attention (she is very pretty). She has caused my sis & hubby to argue a number of times thro very skilful acting. I helped packed her bag - it was full of "shopping" clothes and love letters.

My hubby also thought my conniving 1st maid needed more time, etc. he only realised the difference after we got 2nd maid. She was 3x better with housework & our lil baby. :001_302: even though she did take things fr my sis place, we will let it pass.

Some maids don't adapt; they are wired differently.

We adapt loh as long as basic chores are done properly. If maids can only mop floor & clean windows, i think we shld be hiring part-time help instead.
 
hi ladies, i have a dilemma to handle (even before my baby is born this Sept). My mum suggested that we should employ a maid to look after my kid. My EDD is in Sep 2010 and this is my first kid. A big problem is this maid will be without supervision as I will be working and my mum wants me to put the maid at her place. She will still continue working (7am-4pm) yet my mum claims she wants to look after my kid from Mon- Thurs.
My hb is very frustrated with my mum. He rather the maid stays with us, help me with my housework and look after my baby.

I was thinking of putting my baby in infant care. My mum rebukes and scolded us for being too simple minded. Cos she was told when the infant get sick or there's HFMD in the infant care centre, the centre will require the parents to look after their baby. Me and my hubby are first time parents. She was saying how many leave and how do we know what to do when the baby is sick.

I m in a dilemma because I am troubled with the fact that if I employ a maid, she will be left without supervision at my home or my mum's place. If I leave my toddler with infant care, I will have to stay put with my current job in order to get off work on time and pick up my baby. I have intention to leave my current job. Can anyone advise me what's the best alternative for my baby's care?
 

SunShine07

Member
hi ladies, i have a dilemma to handle (even before my baby is born this Sept). My mum suggested that we should employ a maid to look after my kid. My EDD is in Sep 2010 and this is my first kid. A big problem is this maid will be without supervision as I will be working and my mum wants me to put the maid at her place. She will still continue working (7am-4pm) yet my mum claims she wants to look after my kid from Mon- Thurs.
My husband is very frustrated with my mum. He rather the maid stays with us, help me with my housework and look after my baby.

I was thinking of putting my baby in infant care. My mum rebukes and scolded us for being too simple minded. Cos she was told when the infant get sick or there's HFMD in the infant care centre, the centre will require the parents to look after their baby. Me and my hubby are first time parents. She was saying how many leave and how do we know what to do when the baby is sick.

I m in a dilemma because I am troubled with the fact that if I employ a maid, she will be left without supervision at my home or my mum's place. If I leave my toddler with infant care, I will have to stay put with my current job in order to get off work on time and pick up my baby. I have intention to leave my current job. Can anyone advise me what's the best alternative for my baby's care?
maybe you can install camera at home so that you can also supervision while working. That's what my friend do also.

I kinda agreed with ur mum's thinking, as i myself also afraid that my son will get sick easily......then have to take leave on n off....(that happen to my sister when my niece was placed there)

since there is no one to help to supervise the maid, try installing a few camera at few areas, and let the maid know.

Or another alternative is to find a babysitter around your area.....i used to let my son take care by babysitter, pretty a nice n trust worthy one.....
 
sunshine07, if you were me, would you leave the maid and baby at your mum's place? I was thinking what if she wants me to install cameras at her place? Do you have any idea how much is it to install the cameras at home?
 

SunShine07

Member
sunshine07, if you were me, would you leave the maid and baby at your mum's place? I was thinking what if she wants me to install cameras at her place? Do you have any idea how much is it to install the cameras at home?
Hmmmm, actually i dun see the point bringing her to ur mum's place since she is working......

how much the camera cost ar? i have no idea....think few hundred?....sorry i not very sure...
 
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