Finally~~ and right now it the surname pro

[siling87]

After waiting for 4 so long, I am now ready to go through all the documentation for divorce. The reason was my ex-husband was under warrant arrest by family court and I have to go through 4 years of separation before I can proceed without his consent. Lawyer said that fastest is 6 mths and latest is 9 mth.

Currently, I have another problem. Me and my bf going tie the knot soon after my pro. He had waited for me for bout 3 years++ and we really wanna to settle down. If not for him, I wun be standing here. He is really like a daddy to my boy. Sending him to sch, paying milk powder and we are really like one family.

The only major pro i have now is- My son's surname is after my ex-husband. He had been missing for a long long time and honestly the last met of him and my son was when he was few mths old. I can't change my son surname as my ex-husband confirm+chop won'y agree to it.


I wish that someone could be able to advise me in this.

 

[lylie]

Your lawyer should be able to advise you in the changing of surname.

Why do you need to change your son’s surname? If you are afraid that your son will not benefit anything from your future husband, rest assured. Your future husband has the responsibilities to provide for him for sure (and it’s legal). If you are changing his surname because of personal reasons, I feel sad for your son and your ex. You can’t wipe your past. Give a chance to your future husband to bring him up without any short changes. When your son is old enough, he will knows who to be filial to. If your child’s surname reminds you of your past, that’s for you to deal with. Don’t make your son bear it. God bless.

 

[siling87]

Thank for your advise!

I've consult my lawyer and it not possible if my ex husband did not sign on it.

For the changing of surname. I believe you had got the wrong idea. It not the money matters as I do not need my future husband to support my son as I am fiancially stable.

Secondly, if I wanted to wipe off my past, I wouldn't share my story here. Right? Of couse, if you don't mind I could share more about my past. Hehe.

Me and my future husband have our planning for my little boy and also, we think of alot in future.

If we will to have another few more children, will it affect my son as the others siblings are having another surname except for him.

Oh ya, please don't feel sad for my son and my ex husband.

My son is happy and content of his "daddy" and mummy right.

As for my ex husband, he don't deserve to be a father. When having drug infront of me during my pregnacy and lot more.


Any way, I just wanna hope someone could be able to assist me in this as I don't wish to have a family with 3 surname.

 

[mag_huiling]

u can go for adoption, but still need your ex to sign. If i remember correctly, there actually another way for u all to adopt your son... Even if he dont sign n agrees.

 

[siling87]

Hi, Mag_huiling.

Many thanks for your advise~~ I've heard that this the only way as well. Shall see what I can do about it.

Thank you so much~!

 

[mag_huiling]

Hi, Mag_huiling.

Many thanks for your advise~~ I've heard that this the only way as well. Shall see what I can do about it.

Thank you so much~!

Good luck!!!

 

[bellerichez]

After waiting for 4 so long, I am now ready to go through all the documentation for divorce. The reason was my ex-husband was under warrant arrest by family court and I have to go through 4 years of separation before I can proceed without his consent. Lawyer said that fastest is 6 mths and latest is 9 month.

Currently, I have another problem. Me and my bf going tie the knot soon after my pro. He had waited for me for bout 3 years++ and we really wanna to settle down. If not for him, I wun be standing here. He is really like a daddy to my boy. Sending him to sch, paying milk powder and we are really like one family.

The only major pro i have now is- My son's surname is after my ex-husband. He had been missing for a long long time and honestly the last met of him and my son was when he was few mths old. I can't change my son surname as my ex-husband confirm+chop won'y agree to it.


I wish that someone could be able to advise me in this.

Wow, u have such a good BF. Hmm. My lawyer told me that as long as the child's custody is under YOU, you can change baby surname without his consent. I changed mine too.

 

[Ting]

siling, just go thru the adoption process. since u hv evidence that he has not been supporting your son all these while, u hv a stronger case.
during the adoption process, u can file a document to dispense his consent. the court will need u to obtain evidence that u hv tried all ways to get his consent but he rejected. so best to get his consent first, then later file the doc if he doesnt. the court will then investigate further.
u can read more abt the process here.
The Subordinate Courts of Singapore - FAQs: Adoption#

im also gg to do after i get marry too.

lylie, our decision to change the surname is for personal reasons, for both ourselves n our kids n our husbands. why feel sorry? yes we cant wipe our past, but we can change our future n make it better for all parties.
changing a surname doesnt mean just a paper change in the BC.
by gg thru this adoption process, my husband and i will hv ALL parental rights of my child. he LEGALLY becomes her father and the natural father gives up ALL rights, meaning whatever happens to my child in the future hv NOTHING to do with him. its not abt what she will benefit from my husband or what she will not.

changing my child's surname doesnt change the fact that she is not my husband's bio child, this we all know. it isnt magic, but still we do it for the right reasons. yes it gets personal, becos my child, n my family are all very personal.


also, IF u think of it, when i hv my 2nd n 3rd child, n my first child's name is diff from them, HOW would she feel n think? DUH.....

 

[apollo]

siling, i feel that u've made the right choice by wanting to change ur son's surname. i feel tt at least in future, he shares the same surname as his younger silblings and ppl will not ask him stupid qns like "why u dont share the same surname as your bro/sis?" this can 'protect' him from certain unwanted qns. protecting our own children is much more impt than the other things =)

 

[shi_san_yee]

good decision to change your son's surname! no point letting your ex remain having a son to his name when he does nothing to support or play out his responsibility as a father (take drugs in front of you when pregnant somemore!! what an idiot!). and to your future husband, i respect such a man who loves your child as his own. (i don't know if i'll ever be able to find someone like that) not like my idiot ex; my son is already following my surname and he still goes around telling people that is his darling son.. hmm... just a sperm donor does not make him a dad.

 

[Ting]

just to add on something..
when my husband decides to let my child take on his surname, it also shows that he wants to be her father and take on all responsibilites as one,all because he WANTS to, n not becos he have to due to our marriage.

 

[yans]

Wow, u have such a good BF. Hmm. My lawyer told me that as long as the child's custody is under YOU, you can change baby surname without his consent. I changed mine too.

hey babe, just to check i also want to change my kid sur name to mine but the thing is that i got care and control but we have joined custody, is it still possible?

 

[siling87]

Wah. It been so since I log onhere. I feel blessed with so many mummies's support. Currently my lawyer is fighting for full custody for me. He told me in Singapore, judge could alway give joined custody. Hopefully I can get it through. I will go all the way fir changing of surname as what all mummies had said above and how this stupid surname had effected us in future. Shall update everyone with progresss and also to assist more mummies with this pro.

Why should keep a surname of a man that don't take responsible and love his family right??


Jia you all the single mum out there. We can get it through and give our children with
a brighter future.

 

[yans]

Wah. It been so since I log onhere. I feel blessed with so many mummies's support. Currently my lawyer is fighting for full custody for me. He told me in Singapore, judge could alway give joined custody. Hopefully I can get it through. I will go all the way fir changing of surname as what all mummies had said above and how this stupid surname had effected us in future. Shall update everyone with progresss and also to assist more mummies with this pro.

Why should keep a surname of a man that dont't take responsible and love his family right??


Jia you all the single mum out there. We can get it through and give our children with
a brighter future.

ya that's wat my lawyer said too.. saying the judge wont give full custody to me, telling me just take joined custody can already.im still filing for my divorce most properly will get the cert by the end of this mth..

its so expensive loh, but if i dun settle it dunno when than will get it done.. not only that, my lawyer asked for maintenance of $500 but later he cut down to $200.. i refuse but the law firm say than my divorce case will drag if i dun agree to wat he asked.

firstly i dun even want his money but cant you believe it? he still dare to bargain with me about it.. im thinking, since he himself agreed to that amount he better pay if not i'll fight and say since he didn't give me a single cents and want sole custody instead..

 

[star_star]

he tis kinda person,judge still give joint custody? he still can bargain? y ur lawyer sound like he is not fighting for u at all... sound like he is juz doing it the easi way out...

 

[yans]

he tis kinda person,judge still give joint custody? he still can bargain? y your lawyer sound like he is not fighting for you at all... sound like he is just doing it the easi way out...

sigh.. i i also cant say much.. if i dont agree then case will drag very long,i want to faster get this done and over!

 

[hapieger]

sigh.. i i also cant say much.. if i dont agree then case will drag very long,i want to faster get this done and over!

sorry to tap on ur thread.

what happened if we are not married but my baby follows his surname.. can i change it without his consent? appreciate if someone can help me on it.. thks!

 

[angiebaby]

hmm my parents and me all have different surname, family of three have three different surname, when young, always got people asking me why we have different surname and i always answer "not your biz" :001_302:

 

[siling87]

sigh.. i i also cant say much.. if i dont agree then case will drag very long,i want to faster get this done and over!

But if you agree means you will have to give in in future or maybe forever lehz.. I rather my case will drag, once and for all.
Even though my lawyer said he will still fight for sole custody. Since you are paying for the fees, just go ahead and request from your lawyer. If your lawyer is not helping you, might as well go legal aid. Right?

 

[siling87]

sorry to tap on ur thread.

what happened if we are not married but my baby follows his surname.. can i change it without his consent? appreciate if someone can help me on it.. thks!

To my understanding, as long your your bf's name is in your baby's birth cert. You need his consent..