First time getting maid - need advice!!

[Thunderbird]

Sorry to say ur fren seems to be those difficult employer. They can try to handmop e floor and see how tiring it is. How will the feel if ask to handwash the clothes by mother in law? If u treat the maid as 1 of ur family memebers, u wont ask her to do such chores.

When I heard that, my jaw dropped too. My maid uses the washing machine for our clothes including e kids'. She only hand wash her own clothes and my delicate ones. I have all sorts of mops for her to use, even magic clean dry mop to reach the high places so she doesn't have to climb. My friends say my maid very "good life". And when they get too good life, they become lazy and next time u ask them to do extra things, they will show u black face. Although I don't intend to change my practices, Im just curious to find out if there are many employers out there who think like my friends. But I must say I had a part time helper last time, she didn't like the mop, preferred to use hand cloth to wipe e floor in the entire house.

 

[Princekitty]

When I heard that, my jaw dropped too. My maid uses the washing machine for our clothes including e kids'. She only hand wash her own clothes and my delicate ones. I have all sorts of mops for her to use, even magic clean dry mop to reach the high places so she doesn't have to climb. My friends say my maid very "good life". And when they get too good life, they become lazy and next time you ask them to do extra things, they will show you black face. Although I dont't intend to change my practices, Im just curious to find out if there are many employers out there who think like my friends. But I must say I had a part time helper last time, she didn't like the mop, preferred to use hand cloth to wipe e floor in the entire house.

Is your baby newborn? My maid will handwash the baby clothes cos uses different detergent and bb skin very sensitive need to be very clean. If maid doesnt climb i dun think it will makes her lazy. In fact i dun like her to climb too high cos safety comes first. So long she did a gd job and clean well im ok. But if is not clean must tell her, dun accumulate if not she will think she is ok. I will give praises to her when she cook well. Food that not so nice, i will also let her kw so she can improve. Just like when we at work, we will also feel happy when boss praise us. Treat them the way u want ppl to treat u. My maid had been performing well so i top up her prepaid card for her, mus also told her that it is not a must. She cant take it for granted.

 

[Thunderbird]

Is your baby newborn? My maid will handwash the baby clothes cos uses different detergent and bb skin very sensitive need to be very clean. If maid doesnt climb i dun think it will makes her lazy. In fact i dun like her to climb too high cos safety comes first. So long she did a gd job and clean well im ok. But if is not clean must tell her, dun accumulate if not she will think she is ok. I will give praises to her when she cook well. Food that not so nice, i will also let her kw so she can improve. Just like when we at work, we will also feel happy when boss praise us. Treat them the way u want ppl to treat u. My maid had been performing well so i top up her prepaid card for her, mus also told her that it is not a must. She cant take it for granted.

My baby is 16 months old and I have another 4YO. But my younger one does have sensitive skin, dunno if it's because of the washing detergent. I use Persil for the washer. Maybe I should ask her to wash baby's clothes separately.....

Usually when she does a new task, I will do inspection right after and if not up to standard, I will let her know immediately or demonstrate to her how I want it done. But subsequently I won't spot-check anymore.

 

[bananamama]

Actually for me, the pay will be in a Singapore bank account for the helper and it will be under her name.

With regards to chores, my maid hand washes the clothes for the family, because that is what I do as well before I had a helper. If I can do it, I do not see why she cannot. I use the washing machine for heavy duty items like bed sheets and jeans though. Kids clothes also hand washed. I think it is quite unfair to say that just because the maid has to hand wash clothes = mean employer. I get her to hand wash because it is a USUAL PRACTICE in my household.

Floor wise, I allowed her to mop. Because I do so as well. But again, if a family is used to hand mopping or the maid herself prefers to hand mop and it produces better effects, then again I do not see an issue with it.

I think to me the bottom line is be fair and do not get the maid to do what you won't do yourself.

Yes, many people think we are "mean" when we dictate the way the chores are done, but when we go to work, don't our bosses do the same? You only mentioned cases who seemingly have a hard time with "difficult employers". What about the times the employer is nice to them - I know of many employers who start of "soft", then end up being taken advantage of as well. In fact I am such a case myself. Not nasty to the helper but now as time goes by, her "attitude" shows for itself. Picky, wants the better things in life, dishonest and the list goes on.

Just my opinions.

 

[godloved]

Side track a bit...

I have a friend who told me that she gets her maid to hand wash ALL the clothes in the family (3 adults + 2 kids) everyday even though she has a washing machine at home. Her reason: washing machine consumes alot of water. Handwash saves water.

Another friend said he gets his maid to "hand-mop" the floor every morning using a cloth instead of a proper mop. His reason: it's cleaner.

Just curious how these 2 chores are practiced in yr homes?

Clothes: Using the washing machine, but all sorted out by the helper and actually I am the one who sets the machine. I tried teaching her many times, but usually she gets it all mixed up, even after writing down. To me it's just a different culture thing, because prior to coming to work for me, she hasn't seen a washing machine, much less one with all those buttons and different functions. I decided to just let her sort out the clothes and I will do the settings myself. Offered for her to use the machine to wash her own clothes (separate from ours) but she nicely declined saying she prefers to hand wash her clothes and I leave it as that. Personally, just because I have a helper, I do not expect not to do anything at all. I still wash my own cups after using (esp if the sink is empty), I still bring out the trash when I see it full. A helper is just additional help, not a full replacement. And to me, this also helps me to teach my child the right values - that she (soon, they) have to be responsible. Doesn't mean there is "Aunty", we do not need to pick up after ourselves.

Floor: She does the usual sweeping daily using a broom and thereafter steams mops the whole house (kills germs and no need for chemical cleaner, good for kids). I had to spend some time to teach her the steam mop part though. On Saturdays, it's major cleaning day where my "heavy duty" vacuum cleaner makes it's appearance. Also had to spend time to teach her how to use it. If on days we head out then I am flexible to let her do all these chores when she is back or on another day.

Pay: SG bank account, in her name, she holds the bankbook and the ATM card. For my family, we trust the helper as one of us so we do not restrict her holding cash. If we, meaning the employers lose valuables, we are the ones to be blamed, we didn't keep our belongings properly. So far no issues with this helper. And also, if a helper wants to, no matter whether you allow or disallow, like it or otherwise, they will change to bad. If they are good, they will stay so, influenced or otherwise.

I have seen some rules set by employers which include restricting the freedom of which their helper talks to say another helper around the block. But I personally do not think it's right. As long as her work is not neglected, I think she needs her dose of interaction and social life.

Thunderbird, you mentioned that I am lucky that my helper "refuses" the off-day. I think it is because she has gone on off day before and knows how much she ends up spending and also like she said, she knows even if she spends that time with my family she is treated as part of it and that to her are her "job perks" - fine dining, some "free" shopping at times (meaning we pick up the tab for her purchases).

 

[hpc]

When u let maid use machine wash,she will throw her clothes+panty into ur clothings n wash together.My friend cought her maid washing baby's clothing together with her own clothes in the machine.She almost faint,so tell the maid to hand wash the clothes.If u are at home,random check in the machine ,will find unwanted things inside if u are" lucky"

 

[Thunderbird]

Actually for me, the pay will be in a Singapore bank account for the helper and it will be under her name.

With regards to chores, my maid hand washes the clothes for the family, because that is what I do as well before I had a helper. If I can do it, I do not see why she cannot. I use the washing machine for heavy duty items like bed sheets and jeans though. Kids clothes also hand washed. I think it is quite unfair to say that just because the maid has to hand wash clothes = mean employer. I get her to hand wash because it is a USUAL PRACTICE in my household.

Floor wise, I allowed her to mop. Because I do so as well. But again, if a family is used to hand mopping or the maid herself prefers to hand mop and it produces better effects, then again I do not see an issue with it.

I think to me the bottom line is be fair and do not get the maid to do what you won't do yourself.

Yes, many people think we are "mean" when we dictate the way the chores are done, but when we go to work, don't our bosses do the same? You only mentioned cases who seemingly have a hard time with "difficult employers". What about the times the employer is nice to them - I know of many employers who start of "soft", then end up being taken advantage of as well. In fact I am such a case myself. Not nasty to the helper but now as time goes by, her "attitude" shows for itself. Picky, wants the better things in life, dishonest and the list goes on.

Just my opinions.

Hi bananamama, many thanks for sharing. My apologies if the posting had offended u or some. Yes u r right, guess it all depends of the family's usual practice and maid's preference as well. For me, it's hard to imagine hand washing all the clothes coz I dun do them. Plus my maid has limited time to do housekeeping as she follows my BB to MIL place to babysit, so the time used for handwashing is better spent elsewhere. But I guess for some maids who have never seen a washing machine or operated one before, they much rather hand wash the dirty laundry.

I dun think "mean" is the word, it's more of preference and being particular. I'm quite particular and anal about how cleaning is done especially the corners and edges of rooms, shelves, windows etc. I also know what u mean by "soft" employers being taken advantage of. That's why being a first-timer, I'm trying to find a right balance - to not be too bossy or over-demanding and not too soft until they climb all over me. Hence, feedback and experiences from everyone here are indeed most helpful, help me to know whether I've over or under provided, or whether I'm too harsh or too nice.

My philosophy is if u r nice to the maid and yet they repay u otherwise, I will just change them. No point giving myself grief. So pray that my current maid can turn out to be a good one....

 

[Thunderbird]

Clothes: Using the washing machine, but all sorted out by the helper and actually I am the one who sets the machine. I tried teaching her many times, but usually she gets it all mixed up, even after writing down. To me it's just a different culture thing, because prior to coming to work for me, she hasn't seen a washing machine, much less one with all those buttons and different functions. I decided to just let her sort out the clothes and I will do the settings myself. Offered for her to use the machine to wash her own clothes (separate from ours) but she nicely declined saying she prefers to hand wash her clothes and I leave it as that. Personally, just because I have a helper, I do not expect not to do anything at all. I still wash my own cups after using (esp if the sink is empty), I still bring out the trash when I see it full. A helper is just additional help, not a full replacement. And to me, this also helps me to teach my child the right values - that she (soon, they) have to be responsible. Doesn't mean there is "Aunty", we do not need to pick up after ourselves.

Floor: She does the usual sweeping daily using a broom and thereafter steams mops the whole house (kills germs and no need for chemical cleaner, good for kids). I had to spend some time to teach her the steam mop part though. On Saturdays, it's major cleaning day where my "heavy duty" vacuum cleaner makes it's appearance. Also had to spend time to teach her how to use it. If on days we head out then I am flexible to let her do all these chores when she is back or on another day.

Pay: SG bank account, in her name, she holds the bankbook and the ATM card. For my family, we trust the helper as one of us so we do not restrict her holding cash. If we, meaning the employers lose valuables, we are the ones to be blamed, we didn't keep our belongings properly. So far no issues with this helper. And also, if a helper wants to, no matter whether you allow or disallow, like it or otherwise, they will change to bad. If they are good, they will stay so, influenced or otherwise.

I have seen some rules set by employers which include restricting the freedom of which their helper talks to say another helper around the block. But I personally do not think it's right. As long as her work is not neglected, I think she needs her dose of interaction and social life.

Thunderbird, you mentioned that I am lucky that my helper "refuses" the off-day. I think it is because she has gone on off day before and knows how much she ends up spending and also like she said, she knows even if she spends that time with my family she is treated as part of it and that to her are her "job perks" - fine dining, some "free" shopping at times (meaning we pick up the tab for her purchases).

Hi godloved, thanks much for your sharing once again. I like how you always answer my queries so detailedly and you never miss anything out.

I think we r quite similar in our mode of operation. My hubby n I r quite hands-on parents but with 2 kids, we find that we can no longer do without a helper. Like you said a helper is only to assist not replace. As much as possible, I still put my kids to bed, bathe them myself. And if I am doing cleaning (I clean the drawers and shelves in my master b/r myself), she helps babysit.

Talking I dont restrict as long as there is "aga-ration" but I did say cannot enter other maids' employers homes in case anything goes missing and she or we get blamed for it.

She's smart to reject her off-days and spend at your expense. I hope mine can be smart too . At least minimize their exposure to any potential bad influences. But having said that, do you still compensate her since she voluntarily give up her off days?

P.S. you mentioned "they". No 2 on the way? CONGRATS!

 

[Caelan Simpson]

Hi there,

I m having 2nd maid. She is Indonesian, totally cant speak English, but I speak Malay, that why no communication problem. But she keen to learn English and mandarin.

I m so thank u on her. She is a good helper... She take care my only daughter very well. She do the house chores also very good. I'm so glad that she really helps me a lot a lot.she really make my life become perfectly.

When she 1st step in my house, I m quite fierce on her and warned her that my house every corner also got cctv(actually don have,just I bought a webcam,now never use at all).

I can said if u r very lucky,U may hire a good maid.now I m very lucky,she really do all things I want.

Thanks,
Caelan Simpson.

Sandra Taylor Agency.

 

[godloved]

Hi godloved, thanks much for your sharing once again. I like how you always answer my queries so detailedly and you never miss anything out.

You are welcome. But I have to say I am learning every step of the way as well and up till now I have to fine tune as and when. No model answer and no "one size fits all"

I think we r quite similar in our mode of operation. My hubby n I r quite hands-on parents but with 2 kids, we find that we can no longer do without a helper. Like you said a helper is only to assist not replace. As much as possible, I still put my kids to bed, bathe them myself. And if I am doing cleaning (I clean the drawers and shelves in my master b/r myself), she helps babysit.


I do so as well, just that the valuables are all locked up so she actually does the cleaning. And like I previously mentioned, if in the event we lose anything, it's actually our own fault because we were careless. I spend most of my time with my girl and do most of the things regarding her myself. Now the helper is taking over the bath time, but I stand within eye-shot so my girl knows that Mummy is around.

Talking I dont restrict as long as there is "aga-ration" but I did say cannot enter other maids' employers homes in case anything goes missing and she or we get blamed for it.


I usually tell my helper, I want to treat her with respect and hope she does the same. Just as I do not have "rules" that restrict her socialization, she does know that if her work is drastically affected for no really valid reason, I will not hesitate to have her replaced. She also knows that entering another person's house or inviting other "friends" of hers to my place are all no-no. For privacy and like you said, do not want to get blamed or hurt (after all it's hard for us to know who is good or bad) unnecessarily

She's smart to reject her off-days and spend at your expense. I hope mine can be smart too . At least minimize their exposure to any potential bad influences. But having said that, do you still compensate her since she voluntarily give up her off days?

Yes, I do. That's why to her it's a double win to be not going for off day..She gets good day outs and gets paid for having fun with the family.

P.S. you mentioned "they". No 2 on the way? CONGRATS!

Thanks..yes, No 2 is on the way.. as usual replies are in blue

 

[littlena]

My philosophy is if you r nice to the maid and yet they repay you otherwise, I will just change them. No point giving myself grief. So pray that my current maid can turn out to be a good one....

hmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[pangsn7376]

Hi,
I am first time getting a maid. My maid arrived on chirstmas day. I hired her to take care my 3 mths old baby girl and 22mths baby boy. ( y elder son will go to nanny house on day time, and only at home on weekend)
I have some queries about the maid:
1) So far, she only able take care my baby girl. When my baby boy back from nanny house (about 7.30pm). We are the one take care baby boy for dinner, shower and sleep. We actually plan to let her take care 2 kids, now wondering can she cope? During weekend, i am the one cook lunch and dinner, take care my son.

2) She like to carry my baby girl very often, even my girl is not crying. I did tell her, just let my girl lie down in bed and play herself. The moment i told her, she follow. After some time, she repeat again.

3) Housework. I did show her and the standard I want. But i found that she will just simple simple do the housework, such like washing toilet, i still can spot the areas unclear easier. The clothings she keep nicely, but when she put in drawer she just anyhow put. e.g. the pant can mix with clothes. I have tell her 2 times about this. But look like not much change. I am the person like everything clean. But look at her pattern, feel like she just simple do, and never concern clean and nicely.
What I can do?

4) Another very big problem is, my baby girl is fussy eater. The first 30ml she drink very nicely, after that, her head will move here and there. Feel like reject the milk. Then my maid will keep trying to let my girl drink. But the way she try like force my girl to drink the milk. if no, then she will just leave my baby girl and told me my girl dont want the milk already. Then i will take over to feed my girl. My girl still fussy, but most of time my girl still able finishing the milk when feeding by me. THis is the big headache for me, cause i going back to work soon. Really a BIG worry to me.
(She even told me, she worked in arab before, the previous owner asked her if baby dont want drink then just throw away. So when she worked in arab, she almost feed the baby every hours and she said she will sleep together with the baby during day time.)

5) me and husband dont required the maid cooking. We pack the dinner everyday. Some of my friends told me, better ask maid to cook. Cause too much free time when she at home. (cause not much housework for her).What to you think? should I asking her to cook? But according to her, she dont know how to cook.

6) I dont know is she lazy or she very "easy" for her lunch. She rather eat bread or instand noodle instead cooking proper lunch.
But is u said she is easy eater, but not really. Cause sometime when we reheat some food, she will reject us to have the food, she rather eat bread. (she told me, when she in arab, the owner cook the food for her, or she just cook noodle for lunch, and dinner eat outside. She will only required to take care the baby when she work in arab).
Should i just let her eat bread or noodle for her lunch?

7) How long the maid work, then they will show their pattern?? I really worry, even I have install the CCTV.
Am i worry too much??

Thanks you so much for the sharing.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

Hi

My maid is off every sunday, from 9 to 6 pm. She goes off to her church, i go off to mine. 8 am to 8 pm is too long, u would be extremely tired by 6 pm already if u have a young child. Not everyone would agree for their maid to go off weekly tho. As my maid is serving in her church ministry, i figure no harm.

I buy everything, toothpaste, shampoo etc, so she does not buy those. Basically she uses all the same stuff that we use. Only thing she buys on her own are the pads.

Yes, we eat at the same table.

Angpao is given, she keeps them, so are xmas presents (and she gives to my family too, tho i tell her no need) (this really depends on each family, there is no standardised way) : )

Yes, we celebrate her birthdays. And when it comes to my kids birthdays, and even mine, she goes out to buy gifts for us too (i very paiseh)

Anyway, i think you should write down what are you expectations of her (eg. what to do on a daily basis, what time), so that she understands what is expected of her. Also make it clear what are the behaviors you will not condone (also in writing, so that there will be no misunderstandings) Make sure she gets enough food and rest.

 

[Voula]

I generally dont agree with majority of opinions that are set here but since i am from a different culture ( europe one) will not insist

 

[huihui82]

If you are hiring part time maid for the first time i think should try part time maid first.

Can try getting more information here.
Part Time Maid Singapore - Singapore, Singapore - Home Cleaning, Cleaning Service | Facebook

 

[dolphyant]

Hello,

Does anyone has contacts to get IP surveillance cameras?

TIA!

 

[Waterbaby]

Hi,
Had done my own post and realized there's an existing similar one. Just want to check, do u all allow your maid to watch tv? My maid sits at the tv at 7pm, feeding my kids dinner and watching tv. I am usually not home. She will then bath them and then bath herself by 8.30pm and catch the 9pm channel 8 drama till 10pm. After that she will go and rest. It is fine for some entertainment time right? I normally take it that my kids are watching and so she watches with them but actually my kids are stuck to the iPad and not watching at all. They are too small to understand or be attracted to the dramas.
Also, normally I leave her to cook her own lunch. Will you all buy the ingredients she likes to eat or you just buy those food and she go figure how she want to cook? I caught her cooking my big dried scallops, 3pcs for her 1 bowl of porridge for lunch together with other ingredients. I feel it is too good food already. Those were intended for my kids dinner.
when we go out, she's like so blur, have to call and tell her many times then she know she has to look out, look after the kids. When she goes to my in law place, she saw the sink full of dishes, she will pretend she didn see but my sis in law maid will automatically help at it.
Am I finding fault at her?

 

[Thunderbird]

Hi everyone, hope everyone had a fantastic Lunar New Year. I didnt realised my last posting was ages ago!

Time really flies and my maid has already been with us for 20 months now. Her contract is expiring in July and I have already told her I would like to renew her contract for another 2 years to which she said ok. Over these 20 months, I am generally happy with her performance most of the time. If there is anything to "complain" about, it's sometimes she will show us black face if she's not happy (eg, she has a tendency to overcook and end up with a lot of leftovers to which we once jokingly said she had to finish all the food up and her face became black.) But even with the occasional black face, she is on the whole quite attentive towards my kids and thus I decided to renew her contract. However I don't know if it is a Filipino thingy. You see, in the first contract it is stated that she gets to go out 9am - 6pm on her off days, meaning she has to come back latest by 6pm. This one time, because it was her birthday and she said her friends wanted to celebrate for her, she asked if she could come back at 7pm and I said YES. To my surprise, thereafter every off-day she comes by at 7pm! I was a bit annoyed by it but after thinking about it, 7pm doesn't seem too unreasonable as well so I left it at that.

But anyways, my real problems/dilemmas are:

Home trips
I understand they usually get a home trip after a 2-year completion of their contract. She has requested to go back earlier in March to attend her eldest son graduating ceremony. Naturally being a mother myself, I couldn't say no to that so I agreed to let her go back before her contract finishes. She is going back mid March and only coming back in early April. My questions are,
1) does she get her march salary before she leaves or after she comes back?
2) Are they (FDWs) usually entitled to salary during their leave back home?

Salary advances
This is the BIG DILEMMA I'm facing right now because she has written me a letter "begging" me for 5 months of advanced salary from March to July - salary she has not even earned!!! Her reason is that she wants to bring her two kids on a holiday to "star city" (the legoland of Philippines) and buy some new clothes and presents for them when she's back, since this is the first time in a long time she's seeing her kids. By right, my friend has advised me that I should withhold her March salary in case she goes back and doesn't return (since there are many cases of maids doing that and my friend is a victim herself. Her maid promised and assured her that she will come back but in the end, she didn't board the return flight back to Singapore). If I give her the advance salary, there is a chance she will not come back and I will lose 5 months of salary. If I don't give her, she's like very "poor thing" and I feel sorry for her. I do not want to give her the advance salary but don't know how to put it across to her without looking heartless.

I NEED ADVICE. SHOULD I GIVE OR SHOULD I NOT?

Appreciate all your advices.

Thanks!

 

[BBFeliz]

I will not give. Most to most, I will just give extra $100 for her to buy new clothes for her children as extra bonus for completing the contract. .

 

[Pinkcream]

5month advance is too much..
You can tell your maid spend within her mean
She should save some aside for such tours.
I dont think you are not heartless