I'm a ftwm desperately need advises on how to discipline my 10yr old princess to do things more meticulously so that when she grows up, she'll be a better person and a real lady. Currently, she's more to outdoor activities and can say she is the sporty type. Pls help me as how to avoid physical discipline.
FTWM needs advice on parenting for 10yr old and 2yr old princesses
- Thread starter HazelDewi
- Start date
happymummyo7
Member
10yo theres pros n cons. Pros being she's able to think n reason better, express herself verbally better. Cons being she has a mindset of her own, n it may b difficult to pull out whats planted.
Love is the main key in effective discipline. U love her, u know that. But does she? If she's rebellious or doesnt listen or interact much with u. U probably has loved her the wrong way this ten yrs. Love isnt abt doing it yr way, u can throw the love the way u want but if she cant catch it, she wont feel it.
Its only when yr child feels n knows u love her, then discipline comes in. She believes in u, trust u, n love u. Then, she'll b able to accept the teachings n disciplines.
Think back of the days u were a child, lower yrself to the child level. What makes u like or dislike a person? Rmb when u feel yr parent is naggy? Rmb when u hated a subject cos the teacher sucks? Sincerity, understanding, trust thats whats important in a relationship.
Communication n consistency. N bonding.
1 year old or 10 years old. Kids r born to wanna please. Acknowledging her efforts, praise n compliment more. Instead of biting on to a mistake she made, point it out tactfully n offer or suggest options that right the wrong. Even if her suggestions may not b as gd as yrs, give her a chance. Set a period together eg. a week to try her suggestions. Let her knw before the start we'll try her way for a week but if its nt working lets try yrs.
Perhaps u would like to share more on the issues u're having with her. Hope i can b of help~ =))
Love is the main key in effective discipline. U love her, u know that. But does she? If she's rebellious or doesnt listen or interact much with u. U probably has loved her the wrong way this ten yrs. Love isnt abt doing it yr way, u can throw the love the way u want but if she cant catch it, she wont feel it.
Its only when yr child feels n knows u love her, then discipline comes in. She believes in u, trust u, n love u. Then, she'll b able to accept the teachings n disciplines.
Think back of the days u were a child, lower yrself to the child level. What makes u like or dislike a person? Rmb when u feel yr parent is naggy? Rmb when u hated a subject cos the teacher sucks? Sincerity, understanding, trust thats whats important in a relationship.
Communication n consistency. N bonding.
1 year old or 10 years old. Kids r born to wanna please. Acknowledging her efforts, praise n compliment more. Instead of biting on to a mistake she made, point it out tactfully n offer or suggest options that right the wrong. Even if her suggestions may not b as gd as yrs, give her a chance. Set a period together eg. a week to try her suggestions. Let her knw before the start we'll try her way for a week but if its nt working lets try yrs.
Perhaps u would like to share more on the issues u're having with her. Hope i can b of help~ =))
Hi happy mummy,
I agree with what you said n thanx for the advise. But her only problem is she's becoming sloppish in spite of my teaching her how to do things and be neat always..in whatever she does. She is a lil bit boyish..
xiaodaisy
Active Member
let them slowly change , i guess wen its time , she will be neat herself like wen she get into sec sch and invite frens over to house and she wont wanna let them see so messy place .. =) lol
happymummyo7
Member
Im sure u know yr daughter best. U already mentioned that she is the more sporty type. Perhaps u can take a step back n lower the expectations a lil? List out the 'messy stuff' she does that u have issues with. Focus on the more serious ones n let loose on the not so important ones.
Ive attended a discipline talk n one important point i learnt is, sometimes, we have to reflect on what we r expecting of our kids. When they dont listen, is it they dont want to or they cant? Difference being, they can but purposely dont want to do. Or its simply out of their abilities thats y they cant.
U r right that all parents wants the best for their child. After the discipline talk i attended, i realise sometimes, many times, its not the child wanting to b 'bad' n defy us. Its the parents using the wrong approach, b it verbally or body language, that makes the child shut off.
Ive attended a discipline talk n one important point i learnt is, sometimes, we have to reflect on what we r expecting of our kids. When they dont listen, is it they dont want to or they cant? Difference being, they can but purposely dont want to do. Or its simply out of their abilities thats y they cant.
U r right that all parents wants the best for their child. After the discipline talk i attended, i realise sometimes, many times, its not the child wanting to b 'bad' n defy us. Its the parents using the wrong approach, b it verbally or body language, that makes the child shut off.
Thanks, happymummy for sharing about the discipline talk you attended. It's a golden advise there, really appreciate it. Now that you have mention it, I realized it too..
xiaodaisy
Active Member
agree as parents we always want the best for our kids =)
just let her be , since u say she's mature , she will know when its the time to be neat and tidy .. my 10yrs old boy is just like ur girl but my 8yrs old boy is different , he do everything in order , so when the korkor see that , he feel paiseh and learn to tidy up now too =)