going back to work?
- Thread starter Pwiincess
- Start date
meiteoh
Well-Known Member
I was seriously considering it the other day, albeit some degree of reluctance and realized that at this stage in my daughter's life (4 mths), it's still a bit too young for her and troublesome for me.
There are additional costs to consider, eg transportation to and fro the babysitter, bottles, storage & cooling materials for EBM and if the company that I work for isn't pro-BF, then I have to switch to formula which is super ex and not what I want at all. If I leave her with the babysitter, I have to make sure that it's someone with good hygiene habits, same tangent with me when it comes to education and care of babies as well as someone whom my daugther is comfy with. If leave with places like a nursery, I run the risk of her getting sick often.
Also, I don't really want to miss her milestones right now.
At the end of it, I decided that it just wasn't worth it and that I'll stick with my original plan which is to be a SAHM for the first year.
There are additional costs to consider, eg transportation to and fro the babysitter, bottles, storage & cooling materials for EBM and if the company that I work for isn't pro-BF, then I have to switch to formula which is super ex and not what I want at all. If I leave her with the babysitter, I have to make sure that it's someone with good hygiene habits, same tangent with me when it comes to education and care of babies as well as someone whom my daugther is comfy with. If leave with places like a nursery, I run the risk of her getting sick often.
Also, I don't really want to miss her milestones right now.
At the end of it, I decided that it just wasn't worth it and that I'll stick with my original plan which is to be a SAHM for the first year.
uddermummy
Well-Known Member
me! I'll be going back to work next year.
I'm starting to have separation anxiety, and have to start getting ready to get a helper.
a lot of things to consider, like who's going to supervise the helper, where I'm going to put dd and helper, who's going to drive them to my relatives etc.
Just thinking of all these things gives me a migraine!
and I don't know how i'm going to continue breastfeeding dd.
I'm starting to have separation anxiety, and have to start getting ready to get a helper.
a lot of things to consider, like who's going to supervise the helper, where I'm going to put dd and helper, who's going to drive them to my relatives etc.
Just thinking of all these things gives me a migraine!
and I don't know how i'm going to continue breastfeeding dd.
Domique
Well-Known Member
Hi Udder,
me too going back work next year when Alaric is 18-24 months.
going to put him in childcare full day... now sourcing for good cc and finding out what to consider for cc....
so many things on my mind too....
which childcare...
near to work or near to home....
ratio of teacher to student...
teaching method at cc....
and many more.....
so worrying that others cannot take good care of him as he is naughty and fussy when it comes to zzz and milk....
me too going back work next year when Alaric is 18-24 months.
going to put him in childcare full day... now sourcing for good cc and finding out what to consider for cc....
so many things on my mind too....
which childcare...
near to work or near to home....
ratio of teacher to student...
teaching method at cc....
and many more.....
so worrying that others cannot take good care of him as he is naughty and fussy when it comes to zzz and milk....
me! I'll be going back to work next year.
I'm starting to have separation anxiety, and have to start getting ready to get a helper.
a lot of things to consider, like who's going to supervise the helper, where I'm going to put dear daughter and helper, who's going to drive them to my relatives etc.
Just thinking of all these things gives me a migraine!
and I dont't know how i'm going to continue breastfeeding dear daughter.
uddermummy
Well-Known Member
dom, then your biz how?
for good childcare, you can try looking at other forums.
yeah, i understand the worry about how other caretakers will look after our darlings.
I also want to wait till dd is 2 before going back leh, but my job can't wait that long for me.
sigh!
for good childcare, you can try looking at other forums.
yeah, i understand the worry about how other caretakers will look after our darlings.
I also want to wait till dd is 2 before going back leh, but my job can't wait that long for me.
sigh!
Domique
Well-Known Member
udder, at least u got a job waiting for you... roughly know wat u working as liao.
me gotta start all over.... sigh....
will check that out. thnks for the pointers.
me gotta start all over.... sigh....
will check that out. thnks for the pointers.
dom, then your biz how?
for good childcare, you can try looking at other forums.
yeah, i understand the worry about how other caretakers will look after our darlings.
I also want to wait till dear daughter is 2 before going back , but my job can't wait that long for me.
sigh!
Domique
Well-Known Member
One may not be the best SAHM but you are DEFINITELY the best care giver to your own child!
I am well known for bad temper and low tolerance for nonsense person in my family but i try my to give the best for my child!
I bet all mummies will do the same and they can do it!
JIA U!
I am well known for bad temper and low tolerance for nonsense person in my family but i try my to give the best for my child!
I bet all mummies will do the same and they can do it!
JIA U!
eileenpxp
New Member
me going back next month..sob sob..big headache on pumping milk...super inconvenient! but cant bear to deprive baby of breastmilk as he prefers it to soy milk (he is lactose intolerant)...
oh my god...so hard to balance work n family!
cheers to full time working mummies out there...
ancing_wub:
meiteoh
Well-Known Member
:tlaugh:One may not be the best stay at home mum but you are DEFINITELY the best care giver to your own child!
I am well known for bad temper and low tolerance for nonsense person in my family but i try my to give the best for my child!
I bet all mummies will do the same and they can do it!
JIA you!
Same here, except that my hubby calls me a mean bytch. He thinks I'll make one heck of a caregiver coz I can be very firm yet super patient.
Besides, as long as your child thinks you're the best, who cares what other people think? Remember, parenthood isn't a competition - no need to be so kiasu. :001_302:
I'm not a SAHM, and return to workforce after my ML. As a matter of fact, I really salute all SAHMs... it is not easy staying home and looking after kids. I find it more tiring than working. I actually enjoy working after being a SAHMs for a few months... Guess not every mom is cut out to be a SAHMs. Suddenly, the work problems seems easier and smaller compared to the baby-related ones.
My greatest challenge will be finding a realiable care-giver before I start work (it's a whole bible of researching and lots of experts advices required in the process). Eventually, I left my son in the care of an infantcare center.
Work & Expenses
On the 1st day, i have to deal with the separation anxiety, & constant worrying wht BB is in good hand, eating well, sleeping well or not. In office, remembering to block leave slot for BB vacination, check-up (this exclude urgent leave when BB is unwell), or any meet-parent session/ center closure for cleaning. Also I avoid OT or overseas travelling if possible. If unavoidable, to arrange for alternative care-giver
Travelling expenses shot up. Since it's an infantcare, when BB has fever, I have to apply leave cuz infantcare don't usu. accept.
Routine
My everyday routine:
Wakes up early (to fight traffic) to bring BB to care-giver, rush to work, work stress, then after knock off rush to pick up BB before late charge of $10 per 15 mins kicks in. Reach home, settle down BB for his dinner/supper, play a while, inspect for any HFM or serious bruises, then put BB to bed. Finally when its time for my dinner, it's already late evening... If there is a hubby to helps with the housechores, it's a blessings, else after dinner, continue with laundry and washing up... By the time I sleep, usually around mid-night... (One of the reason I refrain from bring work home since really hard to find time to work on or concentrate)...
Psychological Impact
Adjusting and accepting the fact that the care is suboptimal compared to what you give to your own child. At the same time, trying not to feel too guilty for spending lesser time with BB, taking extra cautious to his development milestone since I cannot be there with him most of his day. Weekend becomes very precious in spending quality time with my son.
But the good side of being a working mom... keep my sanity. I won't be focusing on BB all the time. More topics as well to share with my family (other than on BB all the time)
****************************************************
Despite, my ideal is still to stay at home look after BB for 2 years before joining back the workforce... Sometimes, feel I miss out so much of his growing up.. and feel like a bad mother to leave BB to a stranger... :embarrassed:
Of course, these are my challenges. Things will be different if you have a maid or mother/MIL to help taking care of BB
Cheers all SAHMs!!! You have my utmost respect and admiration!
My greatest challenge will be finding a realiable care-giver before I start work (it's a whole bible of researching and lots of experts advices required in the process). Eventually, I left my son in the care of an infantcare center.
Work & Expenses
On the 1st day, i have to deal with the separation anxiety, & constant worrying wht BB is in good hand, eating well, sleeping well or not. In office, remembering to block leave slot for BB vacination, check-up (this exclude urgent leave when BB is unwell), or any meet-parent session/ center closure for cleaning. Also I avoid OT or overseas travelling if possible. If unavoidable, to arrange for alternative care-giver
Travelling expenses shot up. Since it's an infantcare, when BB has fever, I have to apply leave cuz infantcare don't usu. accept.
Routine
My everyday routine:
Wakes up early (to fight traffic) to bring BB to care-giver, rush to work, work stress, then after knock off rush to pick up BB before late charge of $10 per 15 mins kicks in. Reach home, settle down BB for his dinner/supper, play a while, inspect for any HFM or serious bruises, then put BB to bed. Finally when its time for my dinner, it's already late evening... If there is a hubby to helps with the housechores, it's a blessings, else after dinner, continue with laundry and washing up... By the time I sleep, usually around mid-night... (One of the reason I refrain from bring work home since really hard to find time to work on or concentrate)...
Psychological Impact
Adjusting and accepting the fact that the care is suboptimal compared to what you give to your own child. At the same time, trying not to feel too guilty for spending lesser time with BB, taking extra cautious to his development milestone since I cannot be there with him most of his day. Weekend becomes very precious in spending quality time with my son.
But the good side of being a working mom... keep my sanity. I won't be focusing on BB all the time. More topics as well to share with my family (other than on BB all the time)
****************************************************
Despite, my ideal is still to stay at home look after BB for 2 years before joining back the workforce... Sometimes, feel I miss out so much of his growing up.. and feel like a bad mother to leave BB to a stranger... :embarrassed:
Of course, these are my challenges. Things will be different if you have a maid or mother/MIL to help taking care of BB
Cheers all SAHMs!!! You have my utmost respect and admiration!
It's a good problemme going back next month..sob sob..big headache on pumping milk...super inconvenient! but cant bear to deprive baby of breastmilk as he prefers it to soy milk (he is lactose intolerant)...
oh my god...so hard to balance work n family!
cheers to full time working mummies out there...
Wish I have this problem but no milk supply... My colleqi never gives up, still pump everyday in the office for as long as she can. So press on Eileen mummy, BM is the greatest gift we can give for BB, cheers!! :tlaugh:
me also going back to work jan 2010..
working hr is 10am-8pm..go out 9plus,rch home also 9plus..pay nt very high also..but at least got income,thinking to find a ofc job near my house, at least work till 6plus..-like say easy-
although have MIL look after but.. can like teach him new things or play with him.. cos every step is a learning stage..dilemma...
stay home face to face MIL, eh ka sian buay... LOL...
envy some friends..
1 working at least draw a pretty good salary.. work also worth it.. mum take care kids
1 owns a few shops, su-ka su-ka can stay home..su-ka su-ka go shop see see look look..can acc kids..fetch kids from school....
working hr is 10am-8pm..go out 9plus,rch home also 9plus..pay nt very high also..but at least got income,thinking to find a ofc job near my house, at least work till 6plus..-like say easy-
although have MIL look after but.. can like teach him new things or play with him.. cos every step is a learning stage..dilemma...
stay home face to face MIL, eh ka sian buay... LOL...
envy some friends..
1 working at least draw a pretty good salary.. work also worth it.. mum take care kids
1 owns a few shops, su-ka su-ka can stay home..su-ka su-ka go shop see see look look..can acc kids..fetch kids from school....
Pwiincess
Member
Ya.. I just started working this week. Used to stay at home to look after my dear daughter for almost a year. Then when i delivered dear son in Oct, i looked after him myself too.
I'm also very very short tempered person & definitely a no-nonsense one. But I really enjoyed staying at hm, being with my children. no matter how tired i am (looking after a 20mths old baby n a newborn), i insisted looking after them myself. I got to manage how to give adequate attention to both of them.
Decided to go back to work is to also keep my snaity.i feel that i am too paranoid n over protective to my kids. Hubby feels that too, and he agrees that i should return to work, at least not facing babies all the time. It certainly makes me feel better. Separation anxiety is inevitable! But i'm learning to let go abit. I dont wish hunny and my mummy to get worried n upset for me.
I'm also very very short tempered person & definitely a no-nonsense one. But I really enjoyed staying at hm, being with my children. no matter how tired i am (looking after a 20mths old baby n a newborn), i insisted looking after them myself. I got to manage how to give adequate attention to both of them.
Decided to go back to work is to also keep my snaity.i feel that i am too paranoid n over protective to my kids. Hubby feels that too, and he agrees that i should return to work, at least not facing babies all the time. It certainly makes me feel better. Separation anxiety is inevitable! But i'm learning to let go abit. I dont wish hunny and my mummy to get worried n upset for me.
i have been back to work since early dec'09 after my maternity leave and have been and still am sufferring from separation anxiety with my baby son who is now 7 months old.. i am consider lucky as my mother is helping me to look after my baby son.. i only get to see my son for 2 days in a week cause my mother's place is rather far for us to be sending &/ fetching him home everyday.. and it's unwise to make the poor baby to travel to and fro everyday which is tiring for him and us and not practical for the transportation fees and time..
recently, i have been considering quiting and stay at home to look after my baby but financially not advisable
everyday during work, i will at times have tears welling up in my eyes from missing my baby even though he is in good hands with my mom but still it is simply too unbearable for me.. sorry, i have gotten carried away again..
recently, i have been considering quiting and stay at home to look after my baby but financially not advisable
everyday during work, i will at times have tears welling up in my eyes from missing my baby even though he is in good hands with my mom but still it is simply too unbearable for me.. sorry, i have gotten carried away again..
shiyi
Member
[was thinkin of when shall i head bk to work...have been asked to leave when coy realise my pregnancy..wanna head back to work to help my hubb ease his financial burden.. but at the same time dun wish to miss bb's milestones..
i go cut hair only i start to worry bout bb already
haiz
i go cut hair only i start to worry bout bb already
haiz
I have been a SAHM for slightly more than a year and now still a SAHM... still considering very hard, esp in days when my son really upset and tested my patient, and I have to spank him so hard... then i realised if I am losing my patience on him?
He is coming 3years and I have another 1.5yrs old girl as well, my son tends to push his sister and not willing to share his toys, so my girl always end up crying or been pushed down onto the floor, which upsets me alot.
Wat should i do? Maybe if i don't see them too often, my patience will be better... and softer to him too.
Haiz... headache, just lost my voice yesterday... having to shout at him and scolding....
Headache,
PrettyMum
He is coming 3years and I have another 1.5yrs old girl as well, my son tends to push his sister and not willing to share his toys, so my girl always end up crying or been pushed down onto the floor, which upsets me alot.
Wat should i do? Maybe if i don't see them too often, my patience will be better... and softer to him too.
Haiz... headache, just lost my voice yesterday... having to shout at him and scolding....
Headache,
PrettyMum
meiteoh
Well-Known Member
PrettyMum, I read from a Sears parenting book that children around your boy's age have no concept of sharing toys. The idea of sharing will only hit children around 5 years old. Prior to that, it's normal for them to see the world revolving around themselves - "what I do" "what I can play with" "what I want", etc. Also, they test boundaries and authority very often at this age and will continue to do so for a while.
It is also possible that he is trying to assert himself over his sister and looking for your attention - do you or your hubby spend more time with your daughter (since she's younger)?
Hm. Maybe it would be a good time to send him to a playgroup so he can learn to interact with other kids. Sit down and talk to him about his behaviour - kids at his age KNOW what they are doing; they just don't reach the same deduction/conclusion as us so it's up to us to teach them.
When you mention that you don't see them often, I'm a bit confused. Is someone else taking care of your children?
It is also possible that he is trying to assert himself over his sister and looking for your attention - do you or your hubby spend more time with your daughter (since she's younger)?
Hm. Maybe it would be a good time to send him to a playgroup so he can learn to interact with other kids. Sit down and talk to him about his behaviour - kids at his age KNOW what they are doing; they just don't reach the same deduction/conclusion as us so it's up to us to teach them.
When you mention that you don't see them often, I'm a bit confused. Is someone else taking care of your children?