helicopter parents

[uddermummy]

i must admit that I'm becoming one...

enjoy the article!

Helicopter Parents: The Backlash Against Overparenting - TIME

 

[apollo]

i dont think i am one and wont become one

BUT

my parents and hubby all feel that i'm one!!!

 

[littlehelper]

Hahah too lazy to finish the whole article but i get the point and i agree that many parents are becoming like that now adays.
No offence to anyone but i miss all the swings and all in the playgrounds.Now if a kid just falls and gets a small cut parents goes complaining how unsafe it is.
I remember my class conversation with teacher...

Teacher: You all are so spoilt now adays.No more climbing of trees and stuff like that.
Classmate: Even if i want to climb, once i climb the police will come immediately...

Nowadays everything is named " dangerous "and kids are not given the freedom to explore by themselves.
I personally feel the "leash" is really bad..

 

[jojoki]

Initially, I was very pressured to become one. Honestly, esp when i spend a lot of time on mummies forums or read some other mummies blogs.... wow the things they do/ cook/ money/ effort, clothes toys... and after being highly impressed I feel motivated to do/ provide the same fr my child but alas, its beyond my means, in the end I feel like a lousy mom, and feel that I am unable to provide my child with wat other mummies can. A deprived child.

But the more I pray for wisdom to become the kind of mom God wants me to be, God is knocking some sense into my head. This phrase just came into my head one day while I was reading through shichida method, ... The luckiest child on earth is not one that wears the pretties clothes or owns the most expensive toy, but one whom parents are dedicated, prayerful, God-loving and fearing.

So everyday I remind myself not to be pressured to conform, but to remember ultimately I want my child to grow up to be like Jesus, gentle, honest, patient ,loving, kind, responsible. Doesnt matter if she is not a lawyer or doctor.

Enjoying every second of motherhood and feeling sooo blessed.

 

[jojoki]

Thanks for sharing the article udermummy... its another reminder to give my child the freedom and flexibility that i had as a child... climbing trees, playing in the rain, cooking candle wax..

 

[apollo]

The luckiest child on earth is not one that wears the pretties clothes or owns the most expensive toy, but one whom parents are dedicated, prayerful, God-loving and fearing.

very true!!!

but if u realise, nowadays the more busy the parents are, the more expensive toys they will get for their children... is that a compensation for their kids? or izzit they just mainly want their children to get the 'best'? but is the sp-called 'best' judge by the value of the products? i doubt so... haha...

 

[jojoki]

very true!!!

but if you realise, nowadays the more busy the parents are, the more expensive toys they will get for their children... is that a compensation for their kids? or izzit they just mainly want their children to get the 'best'? but is the sp-called 'best' judge by the value of the products? i doubt so... haha...

yes i try to avoid buying toys dat claims to keep them busy fr hours... just dun buy it and I feel guilty if i leave my child playing on her own for too long. My child yearns for interactions all the times just tht unfortunately theres no one home with her other thn her mama, me.

Ya some mommies simply wants to give the world to their kids (out of deep deep love fr their child of course) and spend sooo much time working to earn that kind of money to give them the "world". But personally I think my baby wud want mommy to be there for her as she grow. I chose to be sahm surviving on 500 a mth so that I can raise her in godlyways so that when she grow up "she will say "NO" to premarital sex, drugs,alcohol, ciggys and she will be strong enuf not to succumb n conform to the wayward society. In a nutshell, I told my hubby that its more important for us to spend time and effort to build her character and eq so that she will be a secured independant God loving and fearing person.

Of course I wont be able to secure her financially for studies in future since I chose to be a sahm. But like said, I dun need her to be rich, or prolific, jst good person.

 

[littlehelper]

I like what jojoki and reginakoh said .
Totally agree.
Good good with these parenting i m sure your child will turn out good though never perfect.

 

[apollo]

yes i try to avoid buying toys dat claims to keep them busy fr hours... just dont buy it and I feel guilty if i leave my child playing on her own for too long. My child yearns for interactions all the times just tht unfortunately theres no one home with her other thn her mama, me.

Ya some mommies simply wants to give the world to their kids (out of deep deep love fr their child of course) and spend sooo much time working to earn that kind of money to give them the "world". But personally I think my baby wud want mommy to be there for her as she grow. I chose to be stay at home mum surviving on 500 a month so that I can raise her in godlyways so that when she grow up "she will say "NO" to premarital sex, drugs,alcohol, ciggys and she will be strong enuf not to succumb n conform to the wayward society. In a nutshell, I told my hubby that its more important for us to spend time and effort to build her character and eq so that she will be a secured independant God loving and fearing person.

Of course I wont be able to secure her financially for studies in future since I chose to be a stay at home mum. But like said, I dont need her to be rich, or prolific, jst good person.

nth beats seeing our lil ones growing up everyday, reaching diffe milestones right? haha... but i noe some mummies realyy got no choice but hav to go out to wk. but i'm sure most of them will spend time with their children... =)

 

[jojoki]

nth beats seeing our lil ones growing up everyday, reaching diffe milestones right? haha... but i know some mummies realyy got no choice but hav to go out to wk. but i'm sure most of them will spend time with their children... =)

true, i feel very blessed i can stay home. N being a working mommy is def not easy.

 

[uddermummy]

hmmm, at one point, i was seriously considering the leash idea, cos i liked the cute backpack that came with it!

Yeah, it's quite easy to work yourself into a frenzy when you see other parents doing so many stuff for their kids.

Sometimes i have to remind myself that i grew up fine without a lot of the creature comforts that kids nowadays take for granted, so i prob am not doing dd harm by not giving her everything the ads say she must have.

So now i just concentrate on what i think are important for her, which at her age, is basically just having fun with simple, well-made wooden toys, and reading. And swimming, my ger loves her swimming!

 

[meiteoh]

I think it's all about that fine act of balancing - something that we have to carry out until our children become adults and after that.

No offence meant to anyone but I do know and have noticed that in Asia, it's all about how the kid performs academically, the pressure to succeed and all but it can be very stifling for the child, especially when that's all the attention s/he gets in return (parents don't play with him, dun spend time with him - I know of people who are like that; they only talk to their children if they have done something bad OR if they need to check up on their kids' progress at school/nursery/etc).

I have been to other forums and see parents sending their children to enrichment classes before they even turn 2 and things like that, which really bothers me because what about people who don't have the means for that? Are their children really going to suffer? I believe the answer is no.

What we can do best for our children, even at this early stage in life, is not to repeat the mistakes that others have made in pushing their children to do TOO much at such a tender age. Yes, we want them to reach their full potential but at the same time, lets not forget that children have their childhood with them for only so long. Before we know it, it's time to grow up and well, children NEED to be children. Heck, even adults need the opportunity to be like children at times (carefree and such) because it is relaxing!

And that means playing. Lots of it too. And mind you, playing can be educational...it's all about the approach.

So every time I look around in my apartment, and stare at how it's lacking in toys (no Jumperoo here, no fancy playgym and such), I ask myself what will my Eva really enjoy best and y'know something? It's not a toy but me and my hubby. Sometimes her best moments is just playing with us and being with us. SO even if you do have to work, make some time for your child - take him or her out, play and so forth. You don't need toys coz you have the best already - your voice, your face, and just you.

ps: Hubs and I find the leash a bit disturbing and bizarre....we never see it in Europe so when we were saw it here, we got a shock. :/

 

[uddermummy]

meiteoh, you're right about the academic part. It really is v competitive here academically.

sometimes i feel sorry for the kids, and for my ger next time, cos kids nowadays really have a lot of stuff on their plates.

I don't remember having to do so much work, or going for so many enrichment activities when i was young! And childhood was actually quite fun cos i had time to daydream, read and do the stuff that i was supposed to do at my age.

Having said that, I prob will send my ger to an enrichment activity or two.

I just have to make sure that she enjoys whatever she's attending, and i don't schedule her days back to back with lessons!

 

[Ting]

i know im definately not one.
my parents arent either...


i think im one of the very relax mummy arnd.. LOL!
even if pin falls down when she is running or what, i will just tell her, stand up n "sweep" her hands then off she goes again..even with a cut/scratch i will tell her, abit only, nvm lahh~ LOL~
when we r out, if she rolls n crawls on the floor (pretending to be a dinosaur, -.-" ) i also let her be, unless she is over doing it then get her to stand up n walk..
ppl look n stare, but hey, its part of her childhood..
i did thought of sending her to enrichment like phonics, chinese classes etc after seeing so many mummies doing it. but then again, procrastinate til i gv up the idea.
i mean, i lived thru that n im doing fine, so im sure pin would too.


n i dun get expensive toys for pin, cos no point, n i know she will out grow it soon.
a 50 cents bouncing ball can keep pin bouncing for a very long while too!
kids dont really bother or know the value of the toys, they only want something tt is fun.


IMO, i dun wanna stress pin, for god's sakes, she only turning 3!
for pri sch, i expect a passable grade, in sec sch, same.. but i do wish for her to go to uni if possible, if not, so be it, im not a uni grad anyway.
i dun need her earning big bucks n such, unless thats what she wants n will work hard for.
for now til she goes to pri sch, its all fun for her.

 

[CJmom]

I get anxious only when it comes to hygiene cos my boy's immunity is low so he falls sick easily. Other than that, I will him to learn through the hard way and from his mistakes. I must be the meanest mummy. Muar har har... he falls, i tell him v. good who ask u to be so careless?

 

[jojoki]

meiteoh, you're right about the academic part. It really is very competitive here academically.

sometimes i feel sorry for the kids, and for my ger next time, cos kids nowadays really have a lot of stuff on their plates.

I dont't remember having to do so much work, or going for so many enrichment activities when i was young! And childhood was actually quite fun cos i had time to daydream, read and do the stuff that i was supposed to do at my age.

Having said that, I prob will send my ger to an enrichment activity or two.

I just have to make sure that she enjoys whatever she's attending, and i dont't schedule her days back to back with lessons!

i dun think i can afford to enrol her in any enrichment or play course.. but i do attend trial classes, so can go n learn some play/teach methods.. thn go home can do with my bb

 

[chiro]

tot such helicopter parents only happen in singapore..think US parents more jialat

 

[apollo]

I think it's all about that fine act of balancing - something that we have to carry out until our children become adults and after that.

No offence meant to anyone but I do know and have noticed that in Asia, it's all about how the kid performs academically, the pressure to succeed and all but it can be very stifling for the child, especially when that's all the attention s/he gets in return (parents dont't play with him, dont spend time with him - I know of people who are like that; they only talk to their children if they have done something bad OR if they need to check up on their kids' progress at school/nursery/etc).

I have been to other forums and see parents sending their children to enrichment classes before they even turn 2 and things like that, which really bothers me because what about people who dont't have the means for that? Are their children really going to suffer? I believe the answer is no.

What we can do best for our children, even at this early stage in life, is not to repeat the mistakes that others have made in pushing their children to do TOO much at such a tender age. Yes, we want them to reach their full potential but at the same time, lets not forget that children have their childhood with them for only so long. Before we know it, it's time to grow up and well, children NEED to be children. Heck, even adults need the opportunity to be like children at times (carefree and such) because it is relaxing!

And that means playing. Lots of it too. And mind you, playing can be educational...it's all about the approach.

So every time I look around in my apartment, and stare at how it's lacking in toys (no Jumperoo here, no fancy playgym and such), I ask myself what will my Eva really enjoy best and why'know something? It's not a toy but me and my hubby. Sometimes her best moments is just playing with us and being with us. SO even if you do have to work, make some time for your child - take him or her out, play and so forth. You dont't need toys coz you have the best already - your voice, your face, and just you.


ps: Hubs and I find the leash a bit disturbing and bizarre....we never see it in Europe so when we were saw it here, we got a shock. :/

i agree! lik my cousin. she sent her boy to enrichment classes when he was ard 14-15mths old i think? dunno hw true it is but a fren whose mother is in childcare line, told her tt never 'force' a kid to study and never start enrichment classes etc too early as it might turn out to be 'fan xiao guo'...

ds has plenty of toys but me and my family all realise that he does not lik any of them, but he loves us toking to him. =)

 

[apollo]

I get anxious only when it comes to hygiene cos my boy's immunity is low so he falls sick easily. Other than that, I will him to learn through the hard way and from his mistakes. I must be the meanest mummy. Muar har har... he falls, i tell him very. good who ask you to be so careless?

me too!! this is where my parents feel that i'm too 'over'... but no choice, ds has fall ill many times and pd said must take gd care of him esp hygiene parts.. if not become his immune system is low, i dont mind letting him 'dirty eat/play, dirty big'... haha!!!

and when ds knock his head to his cot, my whole family (includes me) will laugh.. and he never cry b4 when he knock his head, sometimes laugh with us.. haha...

 

[uddermummy]

i dont think i can afford to enrol her in any enrichment or play course.. but i do attend trial classes, so can go n learn some play/teach methods.. thn go home can do with my baby

haha, jojoki, same, same! actually can also borrow books from the library on games to play with our bbs.