How do you handle their tantrums?

[CanCanMum]

Naughty corner is a corner where nothing around it. Just him and the floor tiles. I make him sit inside 1 floor tile.

sounds berri familiar *peeks at stonnie*

lOlzzzzzzz las sunday baBer sat quietly in a floor tile, and he was able to KEEP STILL FOR 15MINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*blows confetti*

 

[shespice]

Hi Hi
Think maybe our kids are coming to the "terrible two" stage?? hahaha. Somehow I think all our kids seems to have a mind of their own now ya? Can't do things properly yet, but still want to do their own way.
I can't manage to go out alone with my gal! aiyo, want to shop at supermarket also cannot since she can't stay still in the shopping trolley either. think got ants in her backside. Sometimes she throw tantrums at shopping centre and everyone like look why this gal cry and why this mother just stand there LOL. I try to act cool lah but actually a bit frustrated and embarassed hahaha. Shopping centre crowded place so I say must hold hands to walk (cos she doesn't want to be carried or stay in stroller). Then she walk a bit, want to shake off my hands and refused to go my direction. When i tried to pull her in my direction, she just plonk her entire body on the floor! alamak. then not only lie on the floor, then start to move on her back like wiping the shopping centre floor lah! Usually in public places I won't shout at her coz I don't want even more attention on us! LOL. I try to talk to her lah but most times don't quite work also hahaha. So most times, have to try to distract her with other things, like asking to look at something or try and find something in my bag to catch her attention, then I can move on but only for a short span of time then better quickly do whatever before she start her saga again. Go supermarket hand itchy, not only want to touch the fruits, but must pick apple lah, orange lah and then want to walk around.
At home, when she does something wrong, I tell her not to do it again but sometimes she look at me than laugh, aiyo, she thinks i playing instead of scolding her. Then at times, she dare to tell me 'no no' and and shake her pointer finger from side to side to me somemore! I think for the time being we mothers have to more patient with our little ones huh? hahaha.

 

[Domique]

Agree... cannot use threaten on Alaric then i shall use it on grandparents!!!

Evil grin*

Cool down cool down. HEhehe.. Stone meet with stone sure will get fire.

Tell grandma and grandpa to follow your rules. Ahh bo dont't play with Alaric.

 

[Domique]

I so agree...
when with grandma around he will be more naughty and test his limits.
They sure knows who will dote and side them...

Me too.. when house only have me and my hubby .. my boy sort off listen to what we say.
Yes he also have a punishment corner and time out too. but i didnt punish him daily just very serious case then punish him.
Normally , i will raise my voice and look at him then a while later i talk to him in a gentle way to tell him why is he wrong. it didnt work everytime, so far is the patience that test me.
For going out , he too want to stay in kiddy palace or toy "r" us.. , but my hubby and i just gave him cry and after he is done with his crying for around 15min then we talk to him nicely. well, it work for me.

OMG.. yes yup confirm Grandparents spolit the market.. whenever they are around my boy super noisy and not listening to me. and when i raise voice or correct his problem , he will go to Grandma there then win liaos ..
tried to talk to my mum but also no use.. the reply is :" so small teach what .. he dont't know anything." this really piss me out.. so i seldom allow my mum come up my place .. really headaches..

 

[Domique]

ya tell me about their saga... they are all drama queen and king!!!
hope it just end when they are two!!

faint!

Hi Hi
Think maybe our kids are coming to the "terrible two" stage?? hahaha. Somehow I think all our kids seems to have a mind of their own now ya? Can't do things properly yet, but still want to do their own way.
I can't manage to go out alone with my gal! aiyo, want to shop at supermarket also cannot since she can't stay still in the shopping trolley either. think got ants in her backside. Sometimes she throw tantrums at shopping centre and everyone like look why this gal cry and why this mother just stand there LOL. I try to act cool but actually a bit frustrated and embarassed hahaha. Shopping centre crowded place so I say must hold hands to walk (cos she doesn't want to be carried or stay in stroller). Then she walk a bit, want to shake off my hands and refused to go my direction. When i tried to pull her in my direction, she just plonk her entire body on the floor! alamak. then not only lie on the floor, then start to move on her back like wiping the shopping centre floor ! Usually in public places I won't shout at her coz I dont't want even more attention on us! LOL. I try to talk to her but most times dont't quite work also hahaha. So most times, have to try to distract her with other things, like asking to look at something or try and find something in my bag to catch her attention, then I can move on but only for a short span of time then better quickly do whatever before she start her saga again. Go supermarket hand itchy, not only want to touch the fruits, but must pick apple , orange and then want to walk around.
At home, when she does something wrong, I tell her not to do it again but sometimes she look at me than laugh, aiyo, she thinks i playing instead of scolding her. Then at times, she dare to tell me 'no no' and and shake her pointer finger from side to side to me somemore! I think for the time being we mothers have to more patient with our little ones huh? hahaha.

 

[missblue18]

hey dom!

i guess everyone's one year old is throwing tantrums!!!Heather is very into Barney now she demands to watch Barney once she wakes up and at times when I scold or hit her hands she'll act blur or laugh at me....sigh...n she has developed screams!!!at times when she doesnt get her way she'll scream it can be embarrasing when we're out....so my hubby is the disciplinarian, for me i cant bear to hit her real hard....sigh...hence heather is more scared of papa now...oh yah when grandma n gong gong around, she's totally out of control...got 'kao shan' !

 

[missblue18]

I so agree...
when with grandma around he will be more naughty and test his limits.
They sure knows who will dote and side them...

haha funny story when my hubby hit baby in front of my mil then she said dun hit her lah cannot always hit children...dun scold also if she knows why u scold her then good already she also dunno anything blah blah blah

then at nite my hubby told me wah lau last time when his aunt(his nanny) hit him with broom and mop his mum never even say anything lor granted tat he was older lah...hubby kept saying so double standard haha but he dun dare tell his mum ha

 

[chiro]

johanan also throw tantrums, if i dun let him do wat he wanted to do, he will hit his head, and when i tried to stop him from hitting his head, he will bite me and catch me by surprise and i cannot siam.

He haf not started throwing things when angry

when we go shopping... He also haf not started insisted on buying toys.. Mayb its bcos we seldom bring him go shopping n when we does.. He busy loooking around

i do smack him after he bite me... But there are times he will try to put his fingers in my mouth allowing me to bite him... How to deal wif him?

By the way...we received warning letter from police called joker called 999 a number of times

faint

 

[camom]

My younger kid doesn't watch tv actually. My elder kid used to be addicted to Sesame St n would insist on watching show after show on the DVD player. We went cold turkey to break this habit. What hubby did then was to unplug the cable to the DVD player and told her that it was spoilt. The next step was to keep the dvd player cos it "needed to be repaired". The initial 2-3 days were terrible cos she kept asking n crying for it. After 1 week, she found other things to occupy her time and by the 3rd week, we could put the player back without her demanding anything.

For tantrums when out, we have a very strict policy at home - Go home immediately,no matter where we are. Even if we have already parked the car in the mall, if a tantrum is started, we will go back home immediately. We did it once and my elder gal knew we meant business. With my younger one, he has not already tried it yet.

When she grew older n started to demand for things, we started the reasoning. Each time she wanted to buy something that we've not budgetted for, she must give us valid reasons why she needed that item. Reasons such as "I like it" or "my friends have this" are not accepted.

My younger one is now at the terrible twos stage. If I can ignore his screams, I will. So long as no one is paying attention to him, he will stop. Any attention, even negative attention like scolding or smacking, feeds his screaming even more. If he throws his toys, he will not get them anymore. Too bad.

One thing I noticed abt my kids, there are usually some symptoms prior to the tantrum like getting cranky cos they missed the nap time, etc. If I can, I will arrest these signs early, hopefully not endure another tantrum.

 

[autumn82]

johanan also throw tantrums, if i dont let him do what he wanted to do, he will hit his head, and when i tried to stop him from hitting his head, he will bite me and catch me by surprise and i cannot siam.

He have not started throwing things when angry

when we go shopping... He also have not started insisted on buying toys.. Mayb its bcos we seldom bring him go shopping n when we does.. He busy loooking around

i do smack him after he bite me... But there are times he will try to put his fingers in my mouth allowing me to bite him... How to deal with him?

By the way...we received warning letter from police called joker called 999 a number of times

faint

If he puts his fingers, tell him that it is dirty to put fingers into mouth and push it away?

:err::err::err: Keep the phone somewhere else high where he can't reached or see???

 

[Ting]

well, all i can say is, been there, done that.. n still stuck here somehow.
hahahahah~
its a phaze every parent go thru, kid is still young, cant handle their emotions well.
take it as a way that he is communicating with u.
for me, when she goes out of hand, i WHACK.
naughty corner? doesnt work on pin, she will stand there n make funny faces or dance. -.-"""""" even i ask her to stop, she will just entertain herself, sing/count/talk.
so now, my cane, is the best solution.when i show it or say the word CANE, immediately she stop.

its very normal for kids to be playful n mischievious, n it wont stop after the T2 & 3 stage. it will contd til they r mid pri sch i believe.
so no point getting angry at them n pissing ourselves off too much.
pin is a spirited kid, n also full of energy bursting out from her.
as a parent, sometimes i also cant take her playfulness n explode. but i try to control as much as i can.
its definately not easy being a parent of a spirited kid, but i take heart that it is a good thing rather.

 

[Ting]

johanan also throw tantrums, if i dont let him do what he wanted to do, he will hit his head, and when i tried to stop him from hitting his head, he will bite me and catch me by surprise and i cannot siam.

He have not started throwing things when angry

when we go shopping... He also have not started insisted on buying toys.. Mayb its bcos we seldom bring him go shopping n when we does.. He busy loooking around

i do smack him after he bite me... But there are times he will try to put his fingers in my mouth allowing me to bite him... How to deal with him?

By the way...we received warning letter from police called joker called 999 a number of times

faint

i tell pin if she anyhow press the phone, the police will come to catch her. hahahahah~then she doesnt dare to anymore! :tlaugh::tlaugh::tlaugh:

 

[Domique]

even sweet heather also show tantrums? but must be in a sweeter way than Alaric!
daddy discipline daughter and we must discipline our own parents!
bring me the cane!

hey dom!

i guess everyone's one year old is throwing tantrums!!!Heather is very into Barney now she demands to watch Barney once she wakes up and at times when I scold or hit her hands she'll act blur or laugh at me....sigh...n she has developed screams!!!at times when she doesnt get her way she'll scream it can be embarrasing when we're out....so my hubby is the disciplinarian, for me i cant bear to hit her real hard....sigh...hence heather is more scared of papa now...oh yah when grandma n gong gong around, she's totally out of control...got 'kao shan' !

 

[Domique]

Johanan still biting? is he still teething?

Good that he is not throwing.. bad news is he will learn his fine motor skills and throw things....

u are a lucky mummy that he dun scream for toys...

the warning letter from police is so KUA ZANG!!! i see also wanna faint!

Johanan really suprises mummy and daddy

johanan also throw tantrums, if i dont let him do what he wanted to do, he will hit his head, and when i tried to stop him from hitting his head, he will bite me and catch me by surprise and i cannot siam.

He have not started throwing things when angry

when we go shopping... He also have not started insisted on buying toys.. Mayb its bcos we seldom bring him go shopping n when we does.. He busy loooking around

i do smack him after he bite me... But there are times he will try to put his fingers in my mouth allowing me to bite him... How to deal with him?

By the way...we received warning letter from police called joker called 999 a number of times

faint

 

[Domique]

Still stuck with the tantrums with Pin?

gosh i got a fews years more to suffer....

But i must say alaric is active like spirited u said..
i must be more optimistic like Ting!
think that way life would be easier for all!

well, all i can say is, been there, done that.. n still stuck here somehow.
hahahahah~
its a phaze every parent go thru, kid is still young, cant handle their emotions well.
take it as a way that he is communicating with you.
for me, when she goes out of hand, i WHACK.
naughty corner? doesnt work on pin, she will stand there n make funny faces or dance. -.-"""""" even i ask her to stop, she will just entertain herself, sing/count/talk.
so now, my cane, is the best solution.when i show it or say the word CANE, immediately she stop.

its very normal for kids to be playful n mischievious, n it wont stop after the T2 & 3 stage. it will contd til they r mid pri sch i believe.
so no point getting angry at them n pissing ourselves off too much.
pin is a spirited kid, n also full of energy bursting out from her.
as a parent, sometimes i also cant take her playfulness n explode. but i try to control as much as i can.
its definately not easy being a parent of a spirited kid, but i take heart that it is a good thing rather.

 

[Domique]

WOW camom really disciplinary mistress!
Alaric loves sesame and wiggles now! that at least can keep him occupied while i cook dinner.

The going home once they show tantrums really power! but i think i cannot make it as i will be very sad if my outing is ruined by Alaric and i will be angry with him and my poor hubbs!

I think its very good of your hubby to work so closely with u on the disciplinary of the kids!

Thanks for sharing!

My younger kid doesn't watch tv actually. My elder kid used to be addicted to Sesame St n would insist on watching show after show on the DVD player. We went cold turkey to break this habit. What hubby did then was to unplug the cable to the DVD player and told her that it was spoilt. The next step was to keep the dvd player cos it "needed to be repaired". The initial 2-3 days were terrible cos she kept asking n crying for it. After 1 week, she found other things to occupy her time and by the 3rd week, we could put the player back without her demanding anything.

For tantrums when out, we have a very strict policy at home - Go home immediately,no matter where we are. Even if we have already parked the car in the mall, if a tantrum is started, we will go back home immediately. We did it once and my elder gal knew we meant business. With my younger one, he has not already tried it yet.

When she grew older n started to demand for things, we started the reasoning. Each time she wanted to buy something that we've not budgetted for, she must give us valid reasons why she needed that item. Reasons such as "I like it" or "my friends have this" are not accepted.

My younger one is now at the terrible twos stage. If I can ignore his screams, I will. So long as no one is paying attention to him, he will stop. Any attention, even negative attention like scolding or smacking, feeds his screaming even more. If he throws his toys, he will not get them anymore. Too bad.

One thing I noticed about my kids, there are usually some symptoms prior to the tantrum like getting cranky cos they missed the nap time, etc. If I can, I will arrest these signs early, hopefully not endure another tantrum.

 

[Domique]

saw this from Toddler Tantrums: How to Handle Them - Toddler on The Stir by CafeMom

We've all been there. A toddler is crying, screaming bloody murder, and maybe even thrashing around on the floor of a store. The mother is embarrassed and stressed, and she just wants it to stop. Right now. This minute. Please?

Of course, she could always just walk away, point at the kid, and say something like, "Wow! I'm glad my child never behaves that way." (And pray that no one witnessed her interacting with the aforementioned kid earlier.) But, as much as some of us may want to do that or maybe even run out of the store like a bat out of hell, we can't (without risking arrest).

So I consulted with two parenting experts on how to handle a toddler tantrum in a public place.

Expert #1: Amy McCready, the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, offers this advice:

The solution for public toddler tantrums has two components:

1. Prevent the tantrum in the first place
Give your child plenty of positive power throughout the day -- lots of choices so he can have some control over his world (blue towel or yellow towel, Spider-Man toothbrush or Batman toothbrush). Parents can also give positive power by training their toddler on “grown-up” tasks that make him feel capable and allow him to contribute in meaningful ways. “Grown-up” tasks for toddlers include putting spoons and forks away, feeding pets, watering plants (with specific measuring cups), and using the Dust Buster to clean up messes.

Prevent tantrums by planning ahead and giving toddlers important jobs at the grocery store. Take a clipboard and a crayon so she can cross off items as you put them in the cart. Toddlers love the power that comes from checking items off a list. Also have a back-up plan by bringing other activities if she gets bored -- books on a CD or MP3 player with earphones are magical!

2. Deal with the tantrum when it happens
Remember that your child has a right to have a tantrum, but you have a right to not participate. Be totally unimpressed. If you’re in a store, remove yourself to an out of the way corner or go out to the car (you may have to leave your cart) and let her have the tantrum.

The most important strategy for dealing with a tantrum in the moment is to NOT REACT. She’s having the tantrum specifically to get a reaction from you! Don’t give any verbal feedback. Don’t give eye contact. A tantrum isn’t nearly as rewarding when we remove the audience. When parents try to “talk the child down from the ledge” or stop the tantrum, it reinforces that tantrums are a great way to get attention from mom, get them upset (big power hit), and prove that "she's not the boss of me."

When your toddler is calm and ready to go back into the store, you can go.

Remember, the very best strategy is avoiding the tantrum in the first place by giving lots of positive power and planning ahead with important jobs she can do while you’re there.

Expert #2: Ann Corwin, PhD, M.Ed., aka The Parenting Doctor, offers this advice:

If you know there's the potential of your child having a tantrum in a public place, always have a plan ahead of time. As soon as your child starts to lose it, stop talking to them, don't look at them, and turn them around facing away from you in the cart.

If you think you can wait it out, remember that the looks you get from passersby are saying to themselves, "I'm so glad that isn't me" or "That was me yesterday and so I feel so sorry for that other mom." If your child starts to deescalate, say, "Great stopping" and touch them.

If you child continues the tantrum, take your cart to the front of the store ask the check-out person to keep it in their back refrigerator and you'll be back. Take your child out of the cart from behind, no looking or talking to him. Put him into his car seat with his lovey and put on a music CD. The music will help change your child's mood. Drive around the block and try again to go in store to get your stuff, or wait until later when you can leave your kids with someone while you go back to store.

The key to stopping tantrums is what you do after it's over. So if your child is having them, wait until she stops and give her time and attention then. Also, kids learn best through play, so play stop-freeze games with your kids every day!

Hope it helps!

 

[District98]

All kids is very smart, they know what is our fears and taking advantage for that... like my son know i am very scared he vomit when he cry.

sometimes back, dont't know from where he got this idea.... everytime want something, he will cry and lying down to the floor till get what he want.... sometimes i dont even know what he wants...

one day, he cried and lying down on the floor at the bedroom... i try to talk nicely asking what he wants, but the more i talk nicely the more harder he cry and move far whenever i try to hold him.... i really cannot tahan, very angry... so immediatly i go out from the room and clam myself to the kitchen... i know he vomit but i am just sitting on the kitchen waiting for him to approach me... 30 minutes he came out and approach me, he very wet, shirt also full of his vomit ... i feel sad, but explained to him, i cannot tahan if he continue behave like that, then he stop crying and allowed me to change his shirts.

then the rest of that day he didnot showed his tantrum like that anymore...

but the next day, he forgotten, he started again ... cry and lying down, i immedialy leave him alone... but this time only taking less than 10 minutes for him to approach me...

since that, he never show this tantrum anymore...

 

[candy_ian]

Ian too is showing signs of throWing tantrums ever since he turned 1. Now that he's learnt to waddle n being more mobile it's almost impossible to control him. He may b going thru the seperation anxiety stage where I can't even turn my back on him. If he doest get me to sit next to him or carry him or talk to him he starts his nonsense with crying with no tears. Tried the time out today got him to sit in the corner alone n I walk off he came to me again n content crying I put Him back n he came back again but this time he stopped crying n Hugged me. I talked to him which I dunnoe if he understands y I'm upset with him n I still love him.. As for throwing things he does throw but he keeps occasionally. Buying things also not so bad for Ian cos mummy is the one who can't resist buying.. U know la

 

[chiro]

sometimes i really wonderr if our tots attended the pand baby academy when they were sleeping, all showing pand characteristics