How much did you give to your IN LAW or PARENT who is looking after ur baby ??

[ling.er]

Hi all mummies & daddies , kindly pls share with mi hw much did u give ur parent or in law who is lookin after ur baby..

* I & my hubb giving $500 this mth as i juz start work nt even a mth. Yet my inlaw was nt happy with the amount i give her. Too little ???

** I need to save for my comin hus reno + Furniture . Some more my hubb sis also giving them household $ if total is $1100 y nt enough to use? + Father in law is working as well.

*** Son diaper / milk powder / see doc, check up, Hubb & mi are the ones buying Paying.. If she wan more then $700 i can put my son (10Mth big ) at Infant care where he can play & have fun soemmore gt subsidy or either hire a maid with tat amount alrd..

Some time i really duno wat they thinking.. She stay @ home cook also nv go out hw come nt enough for the amount.. My son eat porridg also nt ex ma.. Buy fish can cook many time for him Or pototoes !!!

 

[apollo]

Honestly speaking, because the 'market rate' to hire a babysitter is ard $7-800 per month and maybe that is why your mil hope to get ard $700 as taking care a baby is not easy. A grandma taking care of her own grandchild cant be compared with a maid or teachers (in infant care) taking care of them. However, have to give within your means. If financially you cant afford to give $200 more, just get your hub to tell her frankly and if she is still not happy with the money part, then just seek for other alternatives to prevent conflicts. =)

 

[ling.er]

Honestly speaking, because the 'market rate' to hire a babysitter is ard $7-800 per month and maybe that is why your mil hope to get ard $700 as taking care a baby is not easy. A grandma taking care of her own grandchild cant be compared with a maid or teachers (in infant care) taking care of them. However, have to give within your means. If financially you cant afford to give $200, just get your hub to tell her frankly and if she is still not happy with the money part, then just seek for other alternatives to prevent conflicts. =)

Honestly my get back pay only $1.2k hw to give her more.. Most i cn is addition another $100 to her next mth when i get my full pay..She ownself say give ppl tk care worry here & there ms so i nv go look for one. Nw she nt happy with the amount i give. I knw is nt easy to look/ tk care infant. but when my son hit 24mth i also will try out infant care as preschooling. I did ask her wan hw much she juz keep quiet & look @ her husband ( Father in law ) . So i duno hw much to give. Say wat aso their grandson need be so calculate T.T !!

 

[apollo]

Then it is time to look for alternatives =)

 

[ling.er]

Then it is time to look for alternatives =)

Any advice?? SOme more + my HUbb dun talk Then i become very stressfull.. SOme time i feel like move back my hus ...
Is like all agaist mi lo.. For my son i will work hard but the WOMAN duno .. nt happy here n there..

 

[shiyi]

if need to give so much i rather put in infant care or babysitter..
zz my mum dosen care how much i give as long as im financially okay.. cos she loves to take care of her own granddaughter.
y your inlaw so gehgao!!

 

[Ting]

to avoid further conflicts, then perhaps u wanna look for other alternatives, which is babysitter or infant care.
basically it is up to u, if u feel that your MIL can take very good care of your child, and u can afford to squeeze in the additional $100-200 (maybe u let ur MIL know that u can give her extra $100 to see if it makes her happier?) then continue to let ur MIL TC of her.
but if u feel that it doesn't make any diff with the babysitter or infant care n that it is cheaper, then choose the other alternatives to avoid further conflicts.
to be honest, i think it is fair that u give her the market rate but also, as your MIL, she shld also try to understand and help out abit.

 

[apollo]

Either she accepts the amount you give, or you look for alternatives asap. But looking for alternatives might cost even more. babysitter price might easily cost up to 8-900 monthly exclude the foods. Though your mil stays at home but dont forget, she cooks, and she needs money for those ingredients, house bills etc etc.. I;m not saying that how much you shd give her and whether the amount you give is right/wrong. Just wanna let you know if both cannot compromise, then no point letting her tc and make everyone unhappy. =)

 

[noelsmum]

Do you give your in laws anymore money other than money for babysitting? My in laws obviously do not look after our kids as we didn't have kids then and hubby was giving her something like 700 every month. This was before marriage and she told him it was for our wedding. I'm like, huh? 700, 9 years ago is a lot of money! After the wedding, he still gives her something like 500 every month. Now, that we're overseas, each time hubby goes back for work, he gives her. I don't bother to say anything because that's his money. But I've curious how much does his brother gives them every month. Their kid is being looked after by them and they have dinner there every night too

 

[ling.er]

Either she accepts the amount you give, or you look for alternatives asap. But looking for alternatives might cost even more. babysitter price might easily cost up to 8-900 monthly exclude the foods. Though your mil stays at home but dont forget, she cooks, and she needs money for those ingredients, house bills etc etc.. I;m not saying that how much you shd give her and whether the amount you give is right/wrong. Just wanna let you know if both cannot compromise, then no point letting her tc and make everyone unhappy. =)

3pm my Father in law will be back as when my son is aslp she can cook & do other thing.. Nt only we juz her tat amount as the sis in law also work. She did give household $ as well.. So if total up she gt 1k-1.1k shall be enough ma.. Father in law is workin as well.. house bill total up also wun hit $500 so ex ma.. day time no ppl @ home should nt be so ex lo.. she stil gt another $500 to buy other stuff ah chicken / fish / veg etcccc .
Infant care i ever thing b4 when my son was 6mth big. Then in law keep naggy say later other ppl tk care no good la duno gt give them eat well anot la this & tat.. So like tat i let her look after lo.. Nw she nt happy with the amount.. If im a house wife then i ok with tat amount ah.. As long can suvive..

 

[noelsmum]

The people that work in infant care are trained. Very well trained. My sis' daughter was at infant care from 2 months. When I was back in Spore during the hols, I went to spot check. They are very well trained and they even spend time playing with the kids, helping them with motor skills development and all sorts of things. Plus, there must be a state registered nurse on staff too, if i remember correctly.

 

[ling.er]

The people that work in infant care are trained. Very well trained. My sis' daughter was at infant care from 2 months. When I was back in Spore during the hols, I went to spot check. They are very well trained and they even spend time playing with the kids, helping them with motor skills development and all sorts of things. Plus, there must be a state registered nurse on staff too, if i remember correctly.

If so i no need worry so mcuh.. My son is auper active + father in law daytime drive alrd tired also didnt carry my son for too long. Then MIL wan cook or wat aso diff... I wana put in Infant care.. Subsidy i think pay $400 lo... She aso will wan more household wan la.. See her tat face ><"

Juz dun understan y she think nt enough or wat.. Ask her wan hw much then she dun wan repl mi... Im sure complain to her sis wan when im workin or wat .. she duno my hus coming meh ARRggggggg Sry ah i so piss off when i think of this matter. SOme more go back have to face her again WTH

 

[noelsmum]

ling.er, if I were you, I would put my child in infantcare. They learn so much more. They are more independent and sociable. So what if she complains. Just ignore her. You calculate and figure out how much you should give her and tell her honestly how much you make. Tell her if it's not enough, just too bad, there's nothing else that you can do. My niece is only2 years old. When I'm on video chat with her, she tells me, see my bus. Mummy fix my toys. See spider. Look, didi! (point to my son). And whenever, she's in HK or I see her in Spore, she's super friendly. She hardly cries. Whereas my cousin's kids who is taken care by my aunty, cries all the time. They don't have exposure to other kids and they're always at home. At CNY or Christmas parties, they're the ones that cry because they don't know how to act when there are other people around.

 

[ling.er]

ling.er, if I were you, I would put my child in infantcare. They learn so much more. They are more independent and sociable. So what if she complains. Just ignore her. You calculate and figure out how much you should give her and tell her honestly how much you make. Tell her if it's not enough, just too bad, there's nothing else that you can do. My niece is only2 years old. When I'm on video chat with her, she tells me, see my bus. Mummy fix my toys. See spider. Look, didi! (point to my son). And whenever, she's in HK or I see her in Spore, she's super friendly. She hardly cries. Whereas my cousin's kids who is taken care by my aunty, cries all the time. They don't have exposure to other kids and they're always at home. At CNY or Christmas parties, they're the ones that cry because they don't know how to act when there are other people around.

I gt think b4 infant care i need pay $400 then household i migh give little lo... She dun understan de lei... think of her very sianz de

 

[noelsmum]

Why pay 400? That's still a lot isn't it? How much does your meals costs?

 

[ling.er]

1200 tk back pay - save $400 mthly for hus - $100 Son milk powder/ diaper - $ 260 transport & eat - $200 house hold( Other hub will pay) = Left $240 !!!

 

[michiko1881]

Hi Ling,

my MIL also takes care of my 1 yo daughter. We give her $1000/mth. My hubby says this includes the additional ($ 600)he would hv given her even if she didnt take care of our daughter.

my own mother says its too much. I also think so. But what to do? Actually MIL take care shouldn't think abt mkt rate.After all, its their own grandchild. Mb u shd let her know your financial difficulties..like what u r getting & u need money for hse reno...so on..

 

[noelsmum]

ling.er, I'm not going to teach you to be a bad daughter in law. To me, it's very simple. If you don't stand for your own rights, nobody is going to help you. Not even your husband. You don't ask her how much she needs. Just tell her, I'm sorry, I only can give you $200. That's it. You need to think for yourself and save for yourself. Girl, if something does happen to you, touchwood, but like your husband can no longer support you, what are you going to do? You need to save and think for yourself first at this point because you have a kid. If something does happen, do you think your in laws are going to help you out? Sorry for sounding harsh. I've got my education and a little savings. I've told the husband before, if you walk away now or you die now, I'm fine because I have an education and can find a job to feed me and baby quite well. But Ling.er, with a take home pay for 1200, you need to save every cent you can. If the MIL is not happy, screw her! Tell her, you need to start saving for your house reno! Save now or if not in 3 years, you need to take up a loan and will cost even more money!

 

[ling.er]

ling.er, I'm not going to teach you to be a bad daughter in law. To me, it's very simple. If you don't stand for your own rights, nobody is going to help you. Not even your husband. You don't ask her how much she needs. Just tell her, I'm sorry, I only can give you $200. That's it. You need to think for yourself and save for yourself. Girl, if something does happen to you, touchwood, but like your husband can no longer support you, what are you going to do? You need to save and think for yourself first at this point because you have a kid. If something does happen, do you think your in laws are going to help you out? Sorry for sounding harsh. I've got my education and a little savings. I've told the husband before, if you walk away now or you die now, I'm fine because I have an education and can find a job to feed me and baby quite well. But Ling.er, with a take home pay for 1200, you need to save every cent you can. If the MIL is not happy, screw her! Tell her, you need to start saving for your house reno! Save now or if not in 3 years, you need to take up a loan and will cost even more money!

As for mi nt easy to gt a job as i study till Sec 4 only .. Her daughter as in my sis in law she tk home can up to 2k she can give more abit mayb addition 100 if she nt enough ma.. Seriouly i nt enough .. Ya if she dun understan then nth i can say laio... i think she knw i goin to save for my hus in 3 yr.. some more furnitu all thse need $ as well.. She dun lik mi in 1st place alrd.. SO do i.. of cos i will protect myself & my son.. Ya no one knw future wat will happen..

 

[noelsmum]

I'm glad that you're thinking. Good! So the strategy is just give her 200. You really need to save for your new place. Renovation can easily take up to 30k and furniture, 10k or so. So minimum, you need 40k. Even I took a loan and had to struggle with paying for reno loan and study loan. Don't make the same mistake as me