Hi all, new here n need some advice. I've been married to my hubby for coming 4yrs and we have a 3yo old boy and another on its way. My hubby always seem unhappy with me! Whatever i do or say there bound to have mistake n he would raise his voice at me. He say he is nt scolding me... But its really very hurtful for me. We dated a long time before we got married n its so different. For these years, he had nv given any flowers or hardly any gifts(even birthday and anniversary). He make no effort at all. I am full time working. I manage almost everything at home too. From breakfast to dinner, weekend lunch, plan weekend activites and chores from waking up earlier to take care of the boy and bathe him, sch bag etc on top of my working life. He had nv once told me how he appreciate me n nv really show any gratefulness. He always tell me no need to say such things, he think very fake. He hardly say he love me unless i ask him. N i always (almost weekly) sure get 'scolded' for forgetting sth or didnt clean sth enough, didnt do this or that, didnt do good planning for the weekend or sth bound to get me 'scolded'. Actually i am just a normal woman that would yearn to be loved n cared n i am so overwhelm that i will tend to forget things or even nt put 100% effort to do certain things. I really love my hubby n whenever i try to talk to him abt it, he would say neg things abt me again. What should i do?
Hubby always nt happy with me
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emilyjohnson
New Member
Hi I'm married too..For me as I read your statement I guess the problem is lack of time. You should know how to manage your time working, doing the chores and time with your husband. Giving tome to our husbands is very important. They need attention too just like our children. Why don't you surprise him with a dinner. Prepare a dinner at home then you guys can talk. That way you will make him feel that you are giving him your attention and that he has your time 
(just my opinion based on my experience and I never had problem with my husband.):rofl:
(just my opinion based on my experience and I never had problem with my husband.):rofl:Well.. We eat dinner together everyday. We spend time after the boy sleep to catch up drama together, we chat online while at work constantly. His bday, anniversary.. I will bring him nice places for lunch or dinner. For my bday i find a place or it would be none. Last year, my bday... During lunch he even ask me what is the occasion that we lunch at such nice place. It was really hurtful. Whenever i ask him to buy sth for me, he would say see how/no/ nt practical/ no signification value blah blah blah. I prep him gifts time to time. Make him his fav food every week. N he need time alone to play games too, i would nt stop him frm doing sth he likes. I always try to give in. So i reallllllllly hav no idea how to manage his expectation? The slightest mistake i make or decision that to him its nt good enough i sure get yell at.
I m d hot temper one, I always scold him if he makes mistake or slow in responding to my request (super guilty :x ) My husband is older than me by abt 9 yo, he always give in to me no matter how mad I am. Sometimes he cannot control and loss it, he w apologise later. He dun care abt anniversary or birthday, he never buy a gift for me, cos he said he dun noe what I like (tho marry for 10 yrs) and he is not wise w money, so if I need a gift, he think i should go buy myself. He won't do anything on purpose unless u specifically asked him to.
He is working, I m a SAHM, but I only do cooking and abit of housework, spent most of the time watching tv and doing nothing. He is the one doing housework if he can't take it. But everyday, I w kiss him, hug him and say sweet things to him (if I m not mad at him).
So I guess give and take lah, some man r like tat one, not romantic and not sensitive.
He is working, I m a SAHM, but I only do cooking and abit of housework, spent most of the time watching tv and doing nothing
. He is the one doing housework if he can't take it. But everyday, I w kiss him, hug him and say sweet things to him (if I m not mad at him). So I guess give and take lah, some man r like tat one, not romantic and not sensitive.
Hi,
It's happened to me as well. Whenever I ask something he will said want to divorce.
I have ignore him for that but the third time he reply like that I sent him whasapp said that ur word really hurtful and If u want to proceed he must do and pay it by him self, everything I have done is free including my pregnancy and bla bla.
It took around 2 weeks for me to talked to him but he already change a lot for his behavior.
If he try to complain, i will give reply back "please find into google the word of "family"
It's happened to me as well. Whenever I ask something he will said want to divorce.
I have ignore him for that but the third time he reply like that I sent him whasapp said that ur word really hurtful and If u want to proceed he must do and pay it by him self, everything I have done is free including my pregnancy and bla bla.
It took around 2 weeks for me to talked to him but he already change a lot for his behavior.
If he try to complain, i will give reply back "please find into google the word of "family"
quincy1986
Active Member
i think maybe he just communicate like that.
some guys really dont like all the mushy romantic things.
u said he did tell u he love u when u ask him. let's assume he really mean it.
sometimes love is not requesting anything in return. so you continue to show him and tell him u love him.
maybe one day your effort will bear fruit and finally he got the courage to show u how much you mean to him. good luck !
some guys really dont like all the mushy romantic things.
u said he did tell u he love u when u ask him. let's assume he really mean it.
sometimes love is not requesting anything in return. so you continue to show him and tell him u love him.
maybe one day your effort will bear fruit and finally he got the courage to show u how much you mean to him. good luck !
ladydumbluck
New Member
Your post breaks my heart.
I believe every woman deserves to be in a loving and caring relationship. From reading your post, I can say you've done more than enough to keep your family together. You are an amazing mom and wife. I always believed that happiness is a choice. We always choice our emotions, if we'll get angry, if we'll let go of the things that irritate us, it's all a choice. And I hope that your husband will be able to make better decisions.
But from what I can see, there is a deeper underlying issue that your husband is going through. Has he had any work problems recently? Or a lost of a close relative or a friend? Would there be any triggers that would make him generally unhappy in life that he seems to be having a difficulty coping with. One common defense mechanism is displacement, it's where a person expresses negative emotions to a person who is less threatening, but when in fact the reason that there angry has nothing to do with the person. That's their way of releasing their pent up emotions.
Your hubby's situation can be brought about by many things, and a psychologist can probably help him get back to focus. (But I'd be careful suggesting this to him, since he may not be open to the idea.)
But one thing I'm sure you can do, stop blaming yourself. You should also teach him not to treat you this way. You are way better than that.
I believe every woman deserves to be in a loving and caring relationship. From reading your post, I can say you've done more than enough to keep your family together. You are an amazing mom and wife. I always believed that happiness is a choice. We always choice our emotions, if we'll get angry, if we'll let go of the things that irritate us, it's all a choice. And I hope that your husband will be able to make better decisions.
But from what I can see, there is a deeper underlying issue that your husband is going through. Has he had any work problems recently? Or a lost of a close relative or a friend? Would there be any triggers that would make him generally unhappy in life that he seems to be having a difficulty coping with. One common defense mechanism is displacement, it's where a person expresses negative emotions to a person who is less threatening, but when in fact the reason that there angry has nothing to do with the person. That's their way of releasing their pent up emotions.
Your hubby's situation can be brought about by many things, and a psychologist can probably help him get back to focus. (But I'd be careful suggesting this to him, since he may not be open to the idea.)
But one thing I'm sure you can do, stop blaming yourself. You should also teach him not to treat you this way. You are way better than that.
Fisherman's Friend
Member
Well, maybe your hubby is stressed up at work? Now, most importantly is u dun blamed yourself, somemore you are still preggy with your second bb. Find some things you enjoyed doing for now, then slowly find a good time to talk to your hubby. Marriage takes 2 hands to clap, if only you putting in effort, sooner or later, you will be so tired. Take good care of yourself first.