I TRUST my partner!!!!

noelsmum

Member
I was wondering the same thing as Noelsmum. If you are not the kind to trust your partner, then what do you do? Check emails and SMSes? Follow hubby around? Or be suspicious at their every move?
Ya la! Isn't that very stressful? My husband travels all the time. Sometimes he has to work late. There was even periods of time that we didn't live in the same country. So like that how? Call check all the time. I trust my husband and he appreciates that trust. He informs me ahead that he'll be traveling with his female colleagues too. And when my husband is away, I sometimes have meals with my male friends alone. The trust is mutual.
 

mikki1980

New Member
Ya la! Isn't that very stressful? My husband travels all the time. Sometimes he has to work late. There was even periods of time that we didn't live in the same country. So like that how? Call check all the time. I trust my husband and he appreciates that trust. He informs me ahead that he'll be traveling with his female colleagues too. And when my husband is away, I sometimes have meals with my male friends alone. The trust is mutual.
what i am telling u girls, don't be too complacent.
 

noelsmum

Member
what i am telling u girls, don't be too complacent.
The truth is that, I'm never complacent. A marriage takes a lot of effort and hard work for it to sustain. There's a lot of gives and takes. But I don't believe that snooping around and being suspicious of my husband will allow my marriage to stay intact. The reality is that honesty and trust in a marriage is more important than snooping and being suspicious. My husband knows it very well that the day he cheats, be it cybersex, phone sex, one night stand or an affair, the moment I know that he's done it, the marriage will be over and he knows very well that I'll never forgive him and will walk away and not return. He knows that very well and he loves me enough not to even try it. For the last 9 years of marriage and 10 years of dating, he has never done anything for me to raise even an eyebrow at him. And I'm not about to turn into that snooping wife now.
 

engel

Member
Mikki;

I'm sorry that it happened to you; about what your hubs did... Don't mind if i ask how'd u deal with it?

My guy used to travel alot; there was a time he took more flights than public transport...:/ but he cancels most trips after the birth of our first girl... He wants to b arnd more...:)
He synthcronises our phones, so I would have a list of his appts as he would with mine...but even then we would text each other throughout the day, even if both of us are at work... Sometimes abt mundance stuff that is happening... :)

Abt being complacent, well... Recently a team mate of his have been excessively smsing him even to the point of msging on wkends and face timing after work. My guy is the social sort, so it's normal for him. But I'm the angsty and in your face type. I'm not afraid to tell someone to f*** off if I hate you. She drove me to the point where I told her off both on e phone and in person. Told my guy how I felt. and he apologised and cut her off as well.

Such situations just makes us stronger as a couple.. We're not perfect, but we try to learn as time go by...:)
 

ast0212

Member
Yep I totally agree with Noelsmum and Engel.

It takes a lot of work and time to build a healthy and trusting relationship between both parties. My husband knows I trust him and he trusts me enough to give me all his passwords and will ask me to check his sms for him if he can't get to his phone, or check his email and clear up the junk. Snooping has never occurred in my mind and it would be absolutely pointless and a waste of time if I did. My husband is not technologically inclined and never chats online, uses Facebook occasionally and checks his email because he has to so I've never worried about that at all. If there was something out of the ordinary I would ask about it and I am certain there would be a valid explanation for it. We are honest with each other about our emotions and if we are lacking in anything from each other so that builds us stronger and there is no need for either party to look outside the relationship.
 
I want to keep this thread alive as it brings so much positivity to those who can read the things that were shared here.

I have never met someone as trustworthy as my husband. Of all the men I've met, and even those whom I've shared a little piece of my life with before, none of them can measure up to my husband's character. With him, my heart is always at peace. oh, I adore him!

Cheers to all loving husbands and fathers, and to all lucky and blessed wives and partners!
 

Ninasky

Member
I have seen some cases where the hubby acts very normal at home but in reality has been in another relationship secretly for a long time. So to trust or not depends on whether you think your hubby is a good actor. Hard to judge a book by the cover - really !
 

felches

New Member
I also trusted my partner in the past. He is also punctual coming home after work and weekend accompany us. But you will never know that he can do it with your presence.

My partner will chat in the whatsapp and meet together. at first I thought it is just a normal friend sms and friends meeting up (i'm even presence in the meeting) but it is not. The most saddest part is the affair is with my kid's kindergarten classmate mommy. Can you image that? And I saw all the messages that how he cared so much for her. It is really very sad thing.

I tell myself that I get prepare to stand alone and raise my kids. I always believe karma. I'm sure what's you have done, what retribution you will have. In a long journey of life, there is also good and bad luck. I believe what ancestors also say, u will forever bad luck once you have an affair in the marriage and none of them can be escaped.
 

roudx

Member
I think my hubby is a bad actor. Cause he tried to lie to me once while going out with his friends. Even though no girls involved, I get mad and questioned him. His eyes and body language gave way the moment I ask..
I believe in trust but not trusting blindly.. After all, building a long term marriage have to have trust too...
My hubby told me, his friend go out with him, his phone rings every hour , by his girlfriend .. Bombing his hp.. Then he ask my hubby, how come I didn't call whole night.
My hubby replied, "my wife knows where I am , who i'm with, what i'm doing can already.. No need bomb me.."

Some times I pity his friend.. Because his phone always kena bomb.. And his girlfriend don't give face one.. Can even SMS my hubby to ask her boyfriend go home.. Even guys go out , also no free time.. I'm sure 1 day the guy cannot tahan, also run away.
Always believe in trust and freedom..
 

RuthAlarcon

New Member
I trust my partner with all my heart And the same goes w/him. The first years of marriage were a little bit tough, but gets easier as we spend more years together. To avoid jealousy, I introduce him to my guy friends and vice versa. Sometimes, we hangout with his officemates and I get to know them well. Weird, but some of his exes are my friends, we chat and even like each other's posts on Facebook. Lols. He has his own social life and mine too, and we have our own, together. Beyond trust, I think, the key to a lasting relationship is putting your Creator at the center of your marriage. Though, He doesn't promise a problem-free relationship, He promised that whatever you both go through, He will carry them all for you.

Have a nice day beautiful mommies and daddies! (;
 

Ting

Well-Known Member
i believe trust takes time to build up.. initially when i was with my hubby during our dating period, of cos i hv my reservations... plus he was gg overseas to study for 2.5yrs when we were in the 3rd mth of our rs. but as time goes by, and i start to get to know him better, of cos the trust gets deeper and the doubts start to fade away.
and since i decided to marry him, i def trust him. n bcos of his character, i know he would nvr risk our family's happiness on some girl that he meets.. which fortunately for me, he shuns away from other girls because he knows it will make me uncomfortable. =)
it takes 2 hands to clap, n 2 persons to make a marriage work. i think its v tiring n stressful to be on ur toes all the time and check on ur hub's every movement... how can u be happy then?
 
It's been more than 4 yrs now since I first posted on this thread. Has anything changed for me regarding trust issue? Nope. I still trust him. His job still requires him to travel, but now we have 2 beautiful daughters and a little boy due next week. I understand not everyone is honest and maybe it's luck that I have a partner who believes in brute honestly. So honest he will tell me if I look fat in an outfit! It's just so refreshing to be liberated from lying, cheating guys of my past, who think I was born yesterday to believe some of their absurd stories of deceit. Sometimes it is up to us to make a decision if we want to continue in such a destructive relationship or move on to better our lives. I'm glad I did. One thing has changed with my husband though. He recently made a comment about wanting to get us custom made wedding bands. I kinda think it's cute of him although I am not pushing for it. I wear my engagement ring all the time anyway. (Coz it's so pretty) He doesn't need a ring to show his commitment. His actions speak so loud and clear :)
 
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