I'm in deep S**T
- Thread starter BbpHir3
- Start date
CanCanMum
Moderator
*HUGS* babe~~~
like wad my baobei mentioned, yesh parents are like tat....din mean wad they said......my mum oso said to me before : "pregnant dun look for me" .....perhaps yr mum and my mum can be friends liao....:wong29:
but hor if u r forced to the wall they will also not leave u alone de la.....
and yr MIL? hmmm......now understand y u dun talk to her....
normally schools shd be able to take in appeals for cases like yours. Because u have a very strong reason.
:tlaugh:
happymummyo7
Member
another lost girl. hais.
abortion may seems the only way out. but can you handle it.
ive been through two abortions myself. the 2nd one was a nightmare for me. cause during then, i really wanted to keep the baby badly. i gave myself excuses like, financially not stable, cannot disappoint parents, not ready to be mummy yet, i deserve a better future and all. and went ahead with the abortion though deep down inside, i know i wanna keep the baby. was 14weeks pregnant then.
they had to use the kill fetus inside and make you 'tunnel' open let baby drop out method. in kkh. induce or whatever la. waterbag broke when i was alone in the night. nurse brought me a thing to pee into cause cannot go toilet already. and the fetus drop out just like that. 14weeks.
head and body and hands and legs. till today, that image is clear in my mind. i cried like crazy after i got discharge. and though i moved on with my life. i still think of that 'baby' every now and then. i know the scar will forever be there.
and now, im 32weeks pregnant. when i jus found out about the pregnancy. i know i wont wanna make the same mistake again. the guilt. cannot take it..
i love that guy. and i know he loves me. but this time, really, not ready to be parents yet. he is a great bf but i know he will never be a gd father. not now. i chose to leave him. its not his fault. it takes two hands to clap. the whole r.s dragged on through the 6mths of my pregnancy. talking trying again n again. and finally, i decided its enough. and tada, im officially on my own.
reason, i rather my baby not have a father, instead of have a father then lose a father. or having a useless father. i know our character too well. i dont want my baby's childhood to be filled with his parents quarreling and fighting.
as for parents side. my mummy is the more open-minded one. i thought my father will go crazy when he found out. and i know till now he stil hasnt really accepted that im gonna be a single mummy. cause he had high hopes in me. but he gave in. he accepted it coolly. instead of what i expected, him screaming n chasing me out of the house. i was the one crying like mad and he had to console me.
father now calls me every evening to remind me to eat. mummy just start her rojak stall 2weeks ago, trying her best to do her part. she's been a housewife all her life till she left my father, and she's use to borrowing from loan shark. and now she's willing to settle down, work hard and properly.
she makes the effort to acc me for my appts cause she dosent want me to feel alone, going there alone, seeing other womens have their hubbies there for them. and my lil bro, he starts saving money, and even offer to buy me dinner at times. he's quite spoilt as my mummy really dote on him alot. never done any work himself before, always people have to 'serve' him.
im 20 going to 21 this year. a young single mummy. with tattoos somemore. and not those 'decent' or 'guai' kind. imagine how people look at me. i know ive brought shame to my parents. ive made mistake. but instead of running away from the prob. face it, solve it. im not sure if im ready to be a mummy now, but im very sure i will give my precious the best. i will work hard, to prove to my parents, im not useless. i wont disappoint them again.
abortion may seems the only way out. but can you handle it.
ive been through two abortions myself. the 2nd one was a nightmare for me. cause during then, i really wanted to keep the baby badly. i gave myself excuses like, financially not stable, cannot disappoint parents, not ready to be mummy yet, i deserve a better future and all. and went ahead with the abortion though deep down inside, i know i wanna keep the baby. was 14weeks pregnant then.
they had to use the kill fetus inside and make you 'tunnel' open let baby drop out method. in kkh. induce or whatever la. waterbag broke when i was alone in the night. nurse brought me a thing to pee into cause cannot go toilet already. and the fetus drop out just like that. 14weeks.
head and body and hands and legs. till today, that image is clear in my mind. i cried like crazy after i got discharge. and though i moved on with my life. i still think of that 'baby' every now and then. i know the scar will forever be there.
and now, im 32weeks pregnant. when i jus found out about the pregnancy. i know i wont wanna make the same mistake again. the guilt. cannot take it..
i love that guy. and i know he loves me. but this time, really, not ready to be parents yet. he is a great bf but i know he will never be a gd father. not now. i chose to leave him. its not his fault. it takes two hands to clap. the whole r.s dragged on through the 6mths of my pregnancy. talking trying again n again. and finally, i decided its enough. and tada, im officially on my own.
reason, i rather my baby not have a father, instead of have a father then lose a father. or having a useless father. i know our character too well. i dont want my baby's childhood to be filled with his parents quarreling and fighting.
as for parents side. my mummy is the more open-minded one. i thought my father will go crazy when he found out. and i know till now he stil hasnt really accepted that im gonna be a single mummy. cause he had high hopes in me. but he gave in. he accepted it coolly. instead of what i expected, him screaming n chasing me out of the house. i was the one crying like mad and he had to console me.
father now calls me every evening to remind me to eat. mummy just start her rojak stall 2weeks ago, trying her best to do her part. she's been a housewife all her life till she left my father, and she's use to borrowing from loan shark. and now she's willing to settle down, work hard and properly.
she makes the effort to acc me for my appts cause she dosent want me to feel alone, going there alone, seeing other womens have their hubbies there for them. and my lil bro, he starts saving money, and even offer to buy me dinner at times. he's quite spoilt as my mummy really dote on him alot. never done any work himself before, always people have to 'serve' him.
im 20 going to 21 this year. a young single mummy. with tattoos somemore. and not those 'decent' or 'guai' kind. imagine how people look at me. i know ive brought shame to my parents. ive made mistake. but instead of running away from the prob. face it, solve it. im not sure if im ready to be a mummy now, but im very sure i will give my precious the best. i will work hard, to prove to my parents, im not useless. i wont disappoint them again.
Last edited by a moderator:
happymummyo7
Member
if you give up your studies for this baby. will you regret? studies can wait. but what if in future your situation dont allow you to continue anymore. will you blame your this baby?
if you go for abortion, will you regret. you said that you really dont want to. can you handle your emotions after that. do you have confident you can get over it?
think bout what you really want, what you really are. talk to your parents, your own parents. they still love you no matter what. no parents dont love their own children. just that diff people have diff way of showing.
and. if you really wanna continue your studies, dont wish to abort. like what loves says. give up the baby for adoption. there are so many so many couples out there who wanna have children but cant. many women dont even have a chance to enjoy pregnancy period.
i know there are people who are willing to pay for the baby. they will pay for all your medical checks and delivery, plus a sum of money as 'reward'.
there's always a way out. if you really feel that you dont want an abortion but you are not able to keep the baby. can consider. at least the money can help you tide over a period of time. and also, you know the baby will be in good hands. of decent family who will love him.
if you go for abortion, will you regret. you said that you really dont want to. can you handle your emotions after that. do you have confident you can get over it?
think bout what you really want, what you really are. talk to your parents, your own parents. they still love you no matter what. no parents dont love their own children. just that diff people have diff way of showing.
and. if you really wanna continue your studies, dont wish to abort. like what loves says. give up the baby for adoption. there are so many so many couples out there who wanna have children but cant. many women dont even have a chance to enjoy pregnancy period.
i know there are people who are willing to pay for the baby. they will pay for all your medical checks and delivery, plus a sum of money as 'reward'.
there's always a way out. if you really feel that you dont want an abortion but you are not able to keep the baby. can consider. at least the money can help you tide over a period of time. and also, you know the baby will be in good hands. of decent family who will love him.
Amulet
Active Member
VroomVroomBoys
Alpha Male
LoVeS said:
joeichen said:
IMHO, it is always easier to talk from a 3rd person perspective ...happymummyo7 said:
All of you have been pregnant for 9 whole months ... some even more than once ... & you are telling me for whatever good resons you may have, you think you are willing & you are able to give up your baby for adoption?
I dunno ... I'm just a papa ... never experienced my boys ever kicking me in my tummy ... but I know I can never separate (for good) from my boys, whether it's the day they were born or now or a much later stage in their childhood.
If there are any mummies here who can do that, please let me know ... I need to seriously change my mindset. THANKS.
:biggrin: :biggrin:
This is even more laughable ... by singularly making a decision to give your child away, you are not contradicting your pledge that the mother (alone) actually have no right to decide they live or die?joeichen said:
:bconfused: :bconfused:
I really dun think infertile couples make better parents ... on the contrary, I fear some can well be in it for the novelty of parenthood.happymummy07 said:
It's like pet-owners ... many appear committed when they buy their expensive pets, but we also know many also dispose of their pets when they found out that the ensuing commitment is really way above their original expectations. Worst still, they are pet-owners who do not dispose ... but end up keeping the pets under very compromised environments & conditions.
:beek: :beek:
What about the guilt that comes along with "selling" your baby? Personally, I think that guilt will be worst than the haunting that comes from having an abortion ... especially when you find out that your baby has ended up with a shitty life becoz of a change of mind & attitude in the adoptive parents.happymummy07 said:
Humans will be humans ... when money is involved, the more you pay, the higher your expectations. What if the child turn out to have a lack of academic aptitude ... or worst, turn out to have chronic illnesses? Do you think the adoptive parents would have a loving & caring disposition towards "this piece of goods they paid good money for"?
:brolleyes: :brolleyes:
How do you know this will be the case?happymummy07 said:
If given away to someone within your own extended family, you can at least be assured that you know the couple & their character ... but how are you gonna face meeting your own child every now & then, without having the rights to acknowledge that child as your own?
If given away to strangers, it is likely they wanna have nothing to do with you ever again ... just to protect their exclusivity to their latest acquired assets. More significantly, if they are strangers to begin with ... how many interviews do you think you'd need to determine whether they are indeed good people, on top of the fact that they are well-to-do people?
:wink: :wink:
CanCanMum
Moderator
CanCanMum
Moderator
No parents will want to forsake their baby. If under certain circumstances whereby they cannot raise up their kids well, be it financially or for any other reasons, adoption is the only choice rather than choose to end the fetus' life by abortion.
Subsequently, they will have to face the guilt for life. And many other consequences of their own decision.....or the baby may grow up feeling unwanted (we have seen so many of those cases in movies/tv serials) if they found out the truth or we juz pray hard that the family whom adopted him/her ends up loving the child like their own, during good and bad times?
So to state it simply, we just have to face the consequences of our own action and decision. Be it good or bad.
as the chinese saying goes : 让人生没有遗憾
Subsequently, they will have to face the guilt for life. And many other consequences of their own decision.....or the baby may grow up feeling unwanted (we have seen so many of those cases in movies/tv serials) if they found out the truth or we juz pray hard that the family whom adopted him/her ends up loving the child like their own, during good and bad times?
So to state it simply, we just have to face the consequences of our own action and decision. Be it good or bad.
as the chinese saying goes : 让人生没有遗憾
happymummyo7
Member
:001_302:
thanks amulet and cancanmum. it really feels good to feel the concern from people. even strangers on public transport, giving up their seats. im quite lucky throughout my whole pregnancy. always get nice people. i see it as up there making up for my lost.
and im really content with what i have now.
thanks amulet and cancanmum. it really feels good to feel the concern from people. even strangers on public transport, giving up their seats. im quite lucky throughout my whole pregnancy. always get nice people. i see it as up there making up for my lost.
and im really content with what i have now.
happymummyo7
Member
whatever it is. hope that BbpHir3 can really think through about what she really want lo. my mum use to says, do what you wanna do and not what you have to do and dont regret your decision.
BbpHir3
Active Member
talking bout giving up seats... I took a bus, carrying DD with one hand, the pram on the other... NO ONE GAVE UP THEIR SEATS.... WORSE OF ALL, NO ONE EVEN TRIED TO HELP!!! i was lyk wat the ****...While on the bus, i was thinkin, if i'm gonna haf another one at this moment, how'd i cope? will i be stucked at home with 2 screaming kids? N cant go out alone with them? And when we're suppose to fetch step-DD from her mum's place, how r we (16yo SIL and mi) suppose to eye on 3 kids?? will the family be able to take it anot? N if i'm gonna work/study after no.2, will i be able to concentrate? bearing in mind that my mind is always with Letitia even when I'm suppose to use it for the assignments tat the teacher gave..
When i was deciding to go back school, I got support n encouragement.. N now, I dun even noe hu can look after DD tml... God-bro juz recovered from fever.. dun wan DD to go over n catch any virus "accidentally"... both MIL n mum workin... SIL too young to look after DD for long hours.. DH, not sure.. he's the kind tat.. if DD cries n dun stop, he'll juz leave her on the bed to cry n continue with his game ...
with all this problem surfacing after we got DD, i'm very sure the family cant cope with a no. 2......
I noe i'll be hunt with the guilt of not keeping no. 2... but i really muz think for every1 (+ the one in me).. if i can gif a life to no. 2, but dun haf the ability to haf no. 2... y should i intro no. 2 to this hateful n disgusting world? no. 2 will end up suffering in this world, which he/she dun haf a need to......
thus, i've came to a conclusion to go on with the abortion this time..I'm not sure if there willl be a next time..'if this really gonna happen again, i'll go for a divorce.. i've told DH about it.. n if he respect mi n love mi as much as i love him, he should know tat tis d best for us, n tat tis abortion is a grave mistake tat i never want to go tru again..
When i was deciding to go back school, I got support n encouragement.. N now, I dun even noe hu can look after DD tml... God-bro juz recovered from fever.. dun wan DD to go over n catch any virus "accidentally"... both MIL n mum workin... SIL too young to look after DD for long hours.. DH, not sure.. he's the kind tat.. if DD cries n dun stop, he'll juz leave her on the bed to cry n continue with his game ...
with all this problem surfacing after we got DD, i'm very sure the family cant cope with a no. 2......
I noe i'll be hunt with the guilt of not keeping no. 2... but i really muz think for every1 (+ the one in me).. if i can gif a life to no. 2, but dun haf the ability to haf no. 2... y should i intro no. 2 to this hateful n disgusting world? no. 2 will end up suffering in this world, which he/she dun haf a need to......
thus, i've came to a conclusion to go on with the abortion this time..I'm not sure if there willl be a next time..'if this really gonna happen again, i'll go for a divorce.. i've told DH about it.. n if he respect mi n love mi as much as i love him, he should know tat tis d best for us, n tat tis abortion is a grave mistake tat i never want to go tru again..
yellowpudding
Well-Known Member
Bbp, am glad you made a decision after serious considerations. Hugs. It's not going to be easy dealing with the guilt, so please talk to someone whenever you need an listening ear. Take good care of yourself after the abortion also.
*hugGieS*
happymummyo7
Member
in life, many things no right and wrong de. its ok to make mistake. but must also learn from mistake..
jiayou ba. you still have a long way to go. always rmb, you wont be alone. dont keep everything to yourself. will go crazy de. all the best.
*cynn.89llaluby
Member
sorry sorry sorry
i mean no harm
i must say millions of sorry for what im gonna post now..
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorriesssssssss
abortion only cost $480..
blk 821 tampines street 81... #01-216
telephone 67863188
hmmmmmm
3 of my gerrfrens went there.. no infection...safe...
i mean no harm
i must say millions of sorry for what im gonna post now..
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorriesssssssss
abortion only cost $480..
blk 821 tampines street 81... #01-216
telephone 67863188
hmmmmmm
3 of my gerrfrens went there.. no infection...safe...
*cynn.89llaluby
Member
不要灰心害怕！这是上天给你的考验你一定要坚强，坚持下去！！！
yes yes yes!! there's always a rainbow after a big rain!!!
we hav no right to decide they live or death..kinda agree yet disagree
we hav no right to decide our kid's future....kinda agree yet disagree
for miie... i would choose to decide!!
ohmygod
happymummyo7
come come
come NOC outing.. i would lurve to chat wid euu hahahahhaaaaaas
yes yes yes!! there's always a rainbow after a big rain!!!
we hav no right to decide they live or death..kinda agree yet disagree
we hav no right to decide our kid's future....kinda agree yet disagree
for miie... i would choose to decide!!
ohmygod
happymummyo7
come come
come NOC outing.. i would lurve to chat wid euu hahahahhaaaaaas
mich_liu82
Member
Take care babes!
happymummyo7
Member
? what is NOC outing? lols. chat with me you will qi si one.