Imma single papa

2kidspapa

New Member
Hi to all mums and dads.. My wife left me and 2 kids about a month ago.. But i stil cant get over her everyday.. I setup a twitter acct just to record my daily's emotion, sort of like a online diary, but i've locked it to prevent anyone from seeing it. I only hope 1 day she will follow my acct and sees everything i post, and maybe come back to me n 2 kids.

Being a single parent is not easy, especially when you have to cope with work and stuffs related to child. Up til now i still dont understand hw can she be so heartless to leave us, breaking tis family i've been building up.

Sorry if i dont type well. I just a need a space where someone can reply to me without knowing who i am. I felt empty inside me when she left us. I've been dreaming of her everyday, even when i try to drunk myself, i stil dream of her, and i wake up sobbing everyday. Sigh...

Lastly, Hi again to all the members here.

Regards,
Anonymous
 

Mummy73

Member
Hi 2kidspapa,
First of all, let me salute you for getting it together and taking care of ur 2 kids.



Clearly your wife is an irresponsible mother. Please don't bother even looking back, she's not worth your time and effort. Channel your energy on your kids and give them all the love and attention.


I hope you can get over this hurdle soon and find happiness with your children....
 

2kidspapa

New Member
Hi 2kidspapa,
First of all, let me salute you for getting it together and taking care of ur 2 kids.



Clearly your wife is an irresponsible mother. Please don't bother even looking back, she's not worth your time and effort. Channel your energy on your kids and give them all the love and attention.


I hope you can get over this hurdle soon and find happiness with your children....
Thx mummy73 for ur reply.. I know wads the right thing to do but sometimes its the emotion tat is hard to control aint it? I jus slp without tinking of her and i wil jus dream of her, after wake up, flashback of past memories will appear and tears wil jus flow down like tat.

We've been Tgt for 10yrs, not a v long period.. But stil nid some time to get over it..

Hope to see some tips being a single-parent. :)
 

singledaddy

New Member
Hi,

I am also a single dad with one kid.

Hang in there. Focus on your kids. It will be very tough in the beginning, but thru time, it will get better.

For me now, my kid is my only partner with me all the time. So I learn to cherish every moment with him.

Take care
 

Jojoai

Member
I'm a single mom. And yes if she is not responsible dont bother trying. I tried and that guy is just not interested even though he was anticipating for my boy to come when I was pregnant. But in the end I realised he just used my boy to so called get out of camp. I'm lucky I did not marry him though. He gave stupid excuses like its too expensive to visit he's son. When I even teached him how to take a bus. He can take a cab from bedok all the way to aljunied to see he's NEPHEW rather than taking a cab to changi to see he's son which is soooo much nearer. And not to forget he even stole my money etc. my story is really just ridiculous. He's just really irresponsible and he's mom doesn't care too. So yeah. I would advice don't bother trying. I mean there may have a possibility but its rare.
Kudos to you taking care of your 2 kids rather than running away too ! Be strong. Yes it's hard to work and have to think about the 2 kids and make all those major decisions alone. It's really difficult. But it's really worth it. And trust me your kids will really love you.
 

2kidspapa

New Member
Hi,

I am also a single dad with one kid.

Hang in there. Focus on your kids. It will be very tough in the beginning, but thru time, it will get better.

For me now, my kid is my only partner with me all the time. So I learn to cherish every moment with him.

Take care
yup me too bro.. Cherishing every moment with my 2 kids.. I just felt hurt when the tot of kids having to go thru single-parenthood.. They are so innocent.. Sigh..
 

2kidspapa

New Member
I'm a single mom. And yes if she is not responsible dont bother trying. I tried and that guy is just not interested even though he was anticipating for my boy to come when I was pregnant. But in the end I realised he just used my boy to so called get out of camp. I'm lucky I did not marry him though. He gave stupid excuses like its too expensive to visit he's son. When I even teached him how to take a bus. He can take a cab from bedok all the way to aljunied to see he's NEPHEW rather than taking a cab to changi to see he's son which is soooo much nearer. And not to forget he even stole my money etc. my story is really just ridiculous. He's just really irresponsible and he's mom doesn't care too. So yeah. I would advice don't bother trying. I mean there may have a possibility but its rare.
Kudos to you taking care of your 2 kids rather than running away too ! Be strong. Yes it's hard to work and have to think about the 2 kids and make all those major decisions alone. It's really difficult. But it's really worth it. And trust me your kids will really love you.
Sister i respect u too.. Kids needs us from the day they are born.. I feel tat we shouldn't just leave them like tat.. We have the responsibility to raise them up no matter how hard the couple have to go thru.. I just don't undersand how the hell people can abandon own flesh n blood..
I know there's minimal chances of getting back tgt, but the heart just can't let go years of relationship..
 

smiley

Member
Hi I have been a single mum for 10 years. My advise for u is "Don't cling to the past, look forward." I salute to all single dads who has single handle their kids. As a single mom to raise my 2 kids already not easy, kudos to all single dads. How old is your kids now? I understand the hurt that u went through, don't be disheartened. Be optimistic and please don't sorrow yourself too much in wine or liqiour bad for health.
 

2kidspapa

New Member
Hi I have been a single mum for 10 years. My advise for u is "Don't cling to the past, look forward." I salute to all single dads who has single handle their kids. As a single mom to raise my 2 kids already not easy, kudos to all single dads. How old is your kids now? I understand the hurt that u went through, don't be disheartened. Be optimistic and please don't sorrow yourself too much in wine or liqiour bad for health.
U are great Ms Smiley.. Single mum for 10yrs!
and ya, i've been looking forward everyday.. Hopefully time wil fade off every pain and misery.. And i dun drink tat much, only once after we breakup.. Not so bad i tink? Once awhile gt to relax whole body and mind.. But i dun even share with families and frens.. Im kinda introvert, dun wish pple to come ask me y like tis y like tat.. I tink most of u same as me oso?
 

Mummy73

Member
U know there are ppl in this forum who truly care for u and ur kids. So hang in there, pal!

Keep yourself occupied w a new hobby to distract Urself fr the old memories. Take up a sports or martial art to keep yourself healthy and strong.

Ten years is a long time, but once she bare to abandon her own flesh and blood, she is not worthy of you. Irregardless what went wrong in your marriage, but how can a mother just packed and leave?! I know it's easier for fathers to, since carrying and bearing the child is the mother. I feel an immerse bond w my child the moment I delivered her.

You are a great dad! Focus on your kids and give them love and encourage them to study hard. I hope your kids will make u a proud daddy now and with their achievement later in life...
 

Mummy73

Member
I agree that knowing the right thing to do and doing it are two different issues. Many of us had gone thru bad breakups before too...( I had) i allowed myself to grief and then focus on all his weakness, and incidents that made me fuming mad... I got over that A***** in a few months. Be glad that she left u now, and u don't have to waste more time on her.
 

fiiefiie

New Member
hi there, so you are taking care of the kids still or she hold sole care about them?
i have been single for almost ten years too haha.. life moves on you know? one day you just dont feel anything, anything at all.
 

jiajia

Member
This thread had beed quite for sometimes....

I salute smiley and mummy73.

For me, I am separate from my husband, and lost contact. I have 6yrs and 2yr old kids. Am worried how to explain to my 2 kids, where is their father. My 6yrs old son had asked b4, I believe it was because he had seen his classmates with father and asking about his dad now too.

Also the teacher, had asked him b4, how come never see ur dad for b4. (my son had been attending the childcare for 2 yrs)

How do you cope with that, be it to your kids and those ppl outside. Up till today, I always tell them outsider that their father is working in KL....
 

Mummy73

Member
Hi JiaJia,

it must be really hard on you. You need to take good care of yourself in order to take care of your kids.

You can simply put it to your children that their father has left the family... ( Are you still in contact with him, if so, make the break up be amicable for the children's sake)

I hope the father is at least responsible to be financially supportive at the very least! Let him have some time with the children , be it once a month or so...

Anyways, I am no counsellor. Not my position to comment or advise. I wish you well and happiness to your kids as well;)
 
10 Ways You can be a Great Dad


  1. Spend Time with Your Children: How a father spends his time tells his children, they will not feel neglected although they are from a single parent.
  2. Earn the Right to Be Heard: All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. Begin talking with your children when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.
  3. Discipline with Love: All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behaviour.
  4. Be a Role Model: Fathers are role model to their children, whether they realise it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life demonstrating honesty, humility, and responsibility.
  5. Be a Teacher: Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices.
  6. Eat Together as a Family: Sharing a meal together can be an important part of healthy family life.
  7. Read to Your Children: Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.
  8. Show Affection: Children need security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and loved by their father. Showing affection every day is the best way to let your children know that you love them.
  9. Realise that a Father’s Job Is Never Done: Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it’s continued schooling, a new job, or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and perhaps, marry and build their own families.
  10. Be a great Dad: By loving and respecting yourself.
 

jiajia

Member
HI Mummy73, I lost contact with him as both us if dont want to talk to each other anymore. He is not even paying a cent to us, so no maintenance from him. There is some money issue after we sold our flat, becos I took more of his share, he thinks that I 'took' away his money.

I take more of it, becos for years, he had not been giving a cent to this family. Even when I was preggy, all paid for everything including his meal and share. The house, I paid using my cpf as well. So I have reason to take more.

Infact, there are many more issue to be separated, he was violent when we quarrel at times. So I have no reason to carry on with him, Many times, I initial divorce, but he just don't want it to. So he is in KL, and I don't know where he is staying, I have his contact, but I think if I call him, he wont' answer, but what's the point? He don't care about kids at all. If he does he would work hard for it to make the family better.
 

yukisy

New Member
Hi All Dad & Mum

First of all, is never easy to take care of our kids by ourselves, but if you have parents support, that is the best out of nothing.
however, our parents will also leave us 1 day, some how we need to learn to be independent.
I am a single mum for 6 years, with my 8 years old daughter. Life had not been easy but still goes on.
Just focused on your daily life and your kid.
just be honest with the kids that the dad had left, dont ever try to lie to say he is in overseas or what so ever, cos if the kids find out, they will hate us instead of the other parent.
dont feel pitiful or sad for the kids growing up without the dad or the mum.
in life, we have more to fight for instead of being self pity etc
out there, there are even more pitiful people without a roof over their head, sick and no proper medication, compared to them, we are very fortunate.
always let the kids know that even though their dad or mum had left, but you will never leave them, always there for them.
tell them that they have a dad or mum, just that we cannot stay together any more due to difference in thinking.
school mate or friends will laugh them without the other parent, but teach your kids to reply, if i dont have a dad or mum, how to have me?
that's how i teach my daughter.
dont be angry or blame the other party who left, is their choice & decision.
learn to forgive, but im not saying to forget.
to forgive is be kind to ourselves, for us to move on, forgiving them doesnt affect them at all, so just learn to forgive.
just remember, we are not alone.
all the best!
 
Top