Infidelity

S

serenelm

Member
of course it's not alright... to me, all tat u stated constitutes infidelity to me... he shld love me oni, wat does he mean by platonic love/romantic friendship??!! no way... after-effects would include loss of trust btw the couple, always trying to second-guess wat the other person's thinking, suspicions etc...
 
R

Renzie

Well-Known Member
Its definitely wrong. No matter what the reasons or which angle. Whether its for revenge because he/she has an affair, so you decided to have an affair as well.
2 wrongs doesn't make a right.

Even if he has non-platonic feelings w/o the physical part to the other party, it's a betrayal to our relationship. Because his heart is already not with me.

After effects would be the constant insecurity, distrust, constant suspicion etc etc.

Lying it depends, if he lies to you for the other woman, or if he lies to you to cover up him spending time with other woman, then yes. But if Lying to you because he is afraid that you'll get angry if he's spending time out with the boys, then it isn't infidelity isn't it? Of course, lying is still lying.
 
J

Jss

Member
basically, all these infidelities were wrong from the begining. once infidelity occur, total trust between couple or partner were flush down the drain.

we were brought up with a mindset that sex before or outside marriage were a NO-NO. but many go the other direction. is it because the your ohter half were not up to your expectation till you have to look elsewhere?

after effect?
1) Dating Couple = Break Off
2) Married Couple = Likely Divorce
 
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MasterBee

MasterBee

Alpha Male
infidelity goes both ways. it should not be alway the guy at fault...

if a husdband has an affair, he is always being blame for not having feeling for his wife. if a wife has an affair, he is also being blame for not able to provide for his wife needs. there alway the husband fault.

but wat if it really the wife who is the one at fault? most will say cos the hubby was not there most of the time and SHE IS BORED with nothing to do, so she go chill out with the gals till late at night and happen to meet some guy and thing just happen thereafter...

we have come across with many topic or hear-say on this infidelity issue. with the advance IT, msn or sex chatroom or even handphone sms. Extra Marital Affair do come easy. there are peoples who are so good with this EMA that even their spouse nor partner dont have the slightlest thought that their partner is fooling behind their back...
 
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Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
right or wrong, is up to each individual to ponder upon.
depending under what kinda of circumstances did it happen.
emotions are something that r hard to control, becos we humans with feelings.
some emotions occur over long periods of time, n we cant help it. we can try to avoid n brush it off, but somehow, in our hearts, we know we did felt something for tt other person, but to take action with it, thats another issue.
but if a person has the intention to stray, i would say, its not forgivable.
 
MasterBee

MasterBee

Alpha Male
Ting said:
right or wrong, is up to each individual to ponder upon.
depending under what kinda of circumstances did it happen.
emotions are something that are hard to control, becos we humans with feelings.
some emotions occur over long periods of time, n we cant help it. we can try to avoid n brush it off, but somehow, in our hearts, we know we did felt something for that other person, but to take action with it, thats another issue.
but if a person has the intention to stray, i would say, its not forgivable.
Click to expand...
so if emotions and our heart feeling for the other person is so strong the action take place...

does this action be called "stray"?
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
yes, it is.

emotions r hard to control, but not impossible to be controlled.
it depends on the maturity level of the person on how to handle the "emotions".
 
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J

Jss

Member
Ting said:
yes, it is.

emotions are hard to control, but not impossible to be controlled.
it depends on the maturity level of the person on how to handle the "emotions".
Click to expand...
as long it is EMA (married couples) or additional relationship (dating couples), it is definitely STRAYED. Be it emotion override your will... it still STRAYED.

even you meet up with the opposite gender for a cuppa drink or a meal. it will invited unnecessary misunderstanding if your spouse or partner happen to see both of you. how to explain to yr spouse. likewise if yr hubby go out with a woman for a cuppa drink. we, woman also cannot take it when we found out his movement.

nowaday people calling opposite gender with name that not mean to be.
eg. honey, darling, dear, ling, sugar etc...
is it ok to call a common friend of the opposite gender this?
i come across many of my married friend calling other such name.
what if their spouse hear or saw their sms?
i believe my friend are smart enuff not to get caught.....

all this post topics... basically narrow down to STRAY.....
 
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Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
sorry but i dun see any link towards your comments to mine.
are u quoting me or masterbee?
 
M

Mummy :)

Member
*Thumbs Up* To all the feedback.









*****This is just a thread. Please dont fight among each other.*****
 
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LoVeS

LoVeS

Well-Known Member
I feel tat as long as tat person is married NO reason for tat person to be infidelity, if u dun love ur wife/husband alrdy then divorce lor as there is no need to cheat ur own partner.

Dun 4get tat when both person are married, they vowed to stay faithful, love n honor to one another no matter wat situation it is. If wan to be infidelity so why get married in the 1st place??

btw tis thread at wrong section leh~ It should be home life, relationship and finance section wor~ *moved to correct section*
 
diymummy

diymummy

Moderator
I agree with Loves mummy...

When you're dating, you're still free to choose. When you're married, you have already chosen. And when you say your vows at ROM, there's a phrase which says that you choose to love him/her and no other.

Well, of course there're people who'd say those are just words. But every relationship has to be worked on, be it on the female or male side. Once one party starts to take the other for granted or once communication breaksdown, our mind and emotions would run wild and we'd be seeking for someone to be understand us.

To me, I don't believe in platonic friendships. Sometimes the things that the "friends" do for one another I feel is beyond friendship. My husband knows all my close guy friends and I keep myself accountable to him. Even if one day it seems like I'm the losing party, so be it. At least I know I have tried my best to be faithful and true.

I feel that in a relationship if there's no trust, then there's no relationship to talk abt. And infidelity definitely constitutes to the destruction of trust, or ok, the erosion of it. Even between friends, you also trust one another right? What more for married or dating couples?

Dating couples may have the rights to choose but being unfaithful are tell-tale signs of what could be to come if they decide to get married. But that may not be true for all, at least to me, if during my dating time my bf was 2-timing me, I'd call the whole relationship off.
 
J

Jss

Member
"when dating. you are still free to choose from." isnt going into infidelity would be unfair to the 1st party?

if married, there is nothing more to say... it a no-no answer.

but again there are people who can go into extreme infidelity and able to keep it well under wrap. these people are so good that they are able to see and handle more than 2 partners outside their marriage. many a time, these additional partner initially was connected through chatroom and this will lead to meet up for lunch, dinner, clubbing then i cant elaborate futher. and they are so capable to be able to keep both their spouse and other partners in the dark.

When one got caught, main excuse are "just make new friend mah" or "we are nothing, just friend"....
if making new friend (opposite gender) and meeting up.Why the spouse was not informed on the new found friend?
Smell fishy...

anyway, if i were caught doing this by my DH... our marriage will be over.
likewise if i caught my DH doing this.. he is DEAD too...

INFIDELITY will Destroy Marriage or Relationship!
 
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Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
hmm, actually, it depends on your defination of DATING.
for me,i date up to a few guys at one point of time.
to me, dating means, gg out for movies,dinners, parties.
there is a mutual attraction perhaps, (infatuation maybe) but not romantically linked.
it is only when i feel he is the right guy, one that i truly feel for, then we move on into a r/s.
n when im dating guy A, i see no need to inform him abt guy B or C or D.
bcos, im not cheating on him.
 
J

Jss

Member
Ting said:
hmm, actually, it depends on your defination of DATING.
for me,i date up to a few guys at one point of time.
to me, dating means, gg out for movies,dinners, parties.
there is a mutual attraction perhaps, (infatuation maybe) but not romantically linked.
it is only when i feel he is the right guy, one that i truly feel for, then we move on into a are/s.
n when im dating guy A, i see no need to inform him about guy B or C or D.
bcos, im not cheating on him.
Click to expand...
Dating = serious relationship....
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
Jss said:
Dating = serious relationship....
Click to expand...
then like i mentioned, it all depends on how each individual view on the process of dating.
as long as the person u r dating hv the same view on the relationship, then its fine.
 
J

Jss

Member
wat if both party into a relationship that lead into xxx....
is this relationship consider romantically or seriously link?

if one party strayed, be it guy or gal... isnt it infidelity?
 
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