Is it normal for a father to scream at the baby?
- Thread starter Dowin
- Start date
mommie_lynn
New Member
My hubby also screams at my baby when she was just newborn during my confinement period and she was like screaming at the top of her lungs. Though it happened months ago, when i think of it, I really hate him to the core and really cant forgive him. Not the type of father I thought he will be... From then on, I take care of my baby myself.. cant trust him with her and enough of disappointment. Though a good husband but really not a good father
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TANZHENZHI
Active Member
Yes i agree with Cancanmum. Should go for parenting talks. Maybe he just need someone to comfort him before he knows how to comfort his child. 
pineappletart
Member
i guess that's why mother's day is more celebrated than father's day....
but i think my hubby is a more patient parent than i am :err:
also... lol cancanmum.. daddy blues is a better term
CanCanMum
Moderator
some daddies are juz not patient enuff to tc of babies
but when your baby grows up and gets more sociable, he will change again.
CanCanMum
Moderator
shi shang zhi you maaaa maaa haOO rite? haha~~~~
pineappletart
Member
ccm ya i was thinking about that song too lol
screaming part is wrong i agree but if he does a lot of reading on parenting and taking care of babies, i guess your sis can follow a bit? like, i may be a paed nurse for years but my hubby wont lose to me. as in he does ALOT of reading and wont stop listening to advices from parents whom he respect. we disagree on certain things initially (e.g. burping baby, growth of baby, etc.), but soon, we realize that we should listen to each other. but everyone's diff. hope that your sister's hubby will realize and cooperate with his wife soon.
screaming part is wrong i agree but if he does a lot of reading on parenting and taking care of babies, i guess your sis can follow a bit? like, i may be a paed nurse for years but my hubby wont lose to me. as in he does ALOT of reading and wont stop listening to advices from parents whom he respect. we disagree on certain things initially (e.g. burping baby, growth of baby, etc.), but soon, we realize that we should listen to each other. but everyone's diff. hope that your sister's hubby will realize and cooperate with his wife soon.
woofy55
Member
Dowin, my hubby shouted at louis too during the 1st month cos he's crying EVERY nite from evening till 3am... faint.. It's his first time dealing with baby and he couldn't understand why he is crying EVERYNITE... haiz.. We went thru the tough moments together... Everyday daytime, we will remind each other - tonite, don't quarrel ok... but EVERY NITE, we will quarrel... cos i'm not pleased with the way he handle louis.. sometimes, he will shake him "to make him awake" (yes, i can hear a lot of u saying my goodness).. cos louis was crying with his eyes closed..
I agree that NOw what your sister should do is to take away the baby from her hubby when the crying starts. It will be very tough for your sister. Can really get baby blues, so help her if you can - or anyone available?? I have baby blues during the 1st month too, cos I feel I have to calm down the baby, and also have to calm down the big guy... and have to protect my baby... exhausted. And we also didn't engage confinement lady - nite time is nitemare..... whenever i think back... or I looked back at the posts I started in this forum... =.="'
I'm glad the 3 of us walked thru it... and survived. We are happy family now..
btw, is the baby hungry??? Louis was so poor thing - he was hungry.. and i thought he is treating me as a pacifer when he feed and sleep and demand to feed again shortly after... and i actually deny him from feeding on my breasts!!!! haiz.. I wasn't very knowledgable then. Poor boy.. perhaps that's why he kept crying...
I agree that NOw what your sister should do is to take away the baby from her hubby when the crying starts. It will be very tough for your sister. Can really get baby blues, so help her if you can - or anyone available?? I have baby blues during the 1st month too, cos I feel I have to calm down the baby, and also have to calm down the big guy... and have to protect my baby... exhausted. And we also didn't engage confinement lady - nite time is nitemare..... whenever i think back... or I looked back at the posts I started in this forum... =.="'
I'm glad the 3 of us walked thru it... and survived. We are happy family now..
btw, is the baby hungry??? Louis was so poor thing - he was hungry.. and i thought he is treating me as a pacifer when he feed and sleep and demand to feed again shortly after... and i actually deny him from feeding on my breasts!!!! haiz.. I wasn't very knowledgable then. Poor boy.. perhaps that's why he kept crying...
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catherlyn
Member
Yes I will. Like my hubby keep saying when she start on solid can tk salt n sugar etc but I say NO! None of it till she is one. He say he young also like that eat I told him off as his family eat quite salty imagine putting the fish inside soya sauce for a while then tk out n eat.
Wan eat only pure veg purée or porridge without seasoning
Wan eat only pure veg purée or porridge without seasoning
apollo
Well-Known Member
sry to say tt but i really feel tt by leaving a baby crying so badly and expect him to cry to slp is a very bad thing to do! esp when he is only 2mths old? i agree with amulet, for such young baby, we shd attend to them asap to prevent them from crying.
even now ds is nearly 9mths old, we dun leave him crying v badly. cos we noe when he cry, there are only few reasons: hungry, tired, wants attention. and we feel that there's nth wrong for a baby wannting attention from adults, they are humans too! =)
y dont ur sis set the rules and get her hubby to follow instead? since his methods are totally WRONG
YES i will! afterall he is my child, not others' so i have the final say =)
woofy55
Member
Yes, i will. eg. I'm quite insistent on Louis to sit in carseat - though when he fusses, ILs and my parents will be heartache and want to carry him. I say NO!.. Once, we even stop by somewhere to pacify him quiet and drove on, with him in the carseat. FIL finds us weird. =.="'
And now I'm sleep training Louis, I demanded everyone to follow what I am doing so it will be consistent and so prevent Louis from being confused - how come some ppl rock him to sleep, some bounce him, some pat him... No!! Everyone must follow my style. I caught my parents bouncing him and they immediately stopped when they see me opening my mouth.. hehehe...
Think being a mummy - I've began to nag a lot... ops..
Mummy to Baby V
Well-Known Member
In the initial months, my boy was very fussy and it was stressful to take care if him the whole day. There were occasions when I raised my voice, then I learned to remain calm. Now that he's 1-yr old, I understand him much better and if he's clingy, I simply wear him in a baby carrier. Otherwise, he's a happy and lovable boy. My husband is a much more patient person than me, very good Daddy.
I do believe there are certain rules that parents will have.
He is one who can get so upset on a pacifier, claiming the in laws keep giving his baby pacifier. And the fact is, the baby will only suck when he wanted to. Not everytime the baby will accept the pacifier being pushed to him, he will cry even louder.
He is one who will keep forcing the bottle to the baby when the baby is actually struggling to push away the milk bottle. Baby starts to cry and kick, he still insist on forcing the bottle to him, making him choke once again. His explanation is: must let him be full and he will slp longer.
Infant care takers told my sis: cannot keep forcing the bottle to baby, next time he will reject the bottle and wont drink the milk which is worse.
Guess what the father said after my sis told him? "You cannot believe them entirely! they might be wrong! change another centre!"
I can no longer differentiate who is right and wrong, because in my point of view, this is one sick father and whatever he said is not making sense to me anymore.
He is one who can get so upset on a pacifier, claiming the in laws keep giving his baby pacifier. And the fact is, the baby will only suck when he wanted to. Not everytime the baby will accept the pacifier being pushed to him, he will cry even louder.
He is one who will keep forcing the bottle to the baby when the baby is actually struggling to push away the milk bottle. Baby starts to cry and kick, he still insist on forcing the bottle to him, making him choke once again. His explanation is: must let him be full and he will slp longer.
Infant care takers told my sis: cannot keep forcing the bottle to baby, next time he will reject the bottle and wont drink the milk which is worse.
Guess what the father said after my sis told him? "You cannot believe them entirely! they might be wrong! change another centre!"
I can no longer differentiate who is right and wrong, because in my point of view, this is one sick father and whatever he said is not making sense to me anymore.
apollo
Well-Known Member
i think this father is reallly........................ cmi! he sounds lik those old folk u noe? a father shdnt be lik tt! he is too stubborn!
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
Sounds like depression. Cos most normal dad will not do that to a baby everyday.
eissacsirhc
Member
Thankfully my hubby treats his daughter like a princess.. he is actually very patient with her.. Maybe becuz he spends lesser time wif her due to work.. So when he's home at nite and on off days he helps around alot especially feeding her and stuff..
Maybe can try telling ur hubby to be more patient.. and give baby some time to learn..
Maybe can try telling ur hubby to be more patient.. and give baby some time to learn..
Ting
Well-Known Member
my bf treats pin more patiently than me. even when he scolds her, is also like using firmer talking....he doesnt scream nor shout at her.. unless she runs far far away then he shout for her to come back.
but dowin, i think your BIL might be suffering post natal depression, which is also called daddy baby blues..
dads can also suffer from it, cos they r also new to this new stage.
it is quite serious n will affect the child greatly too.
i would suggest u n your sis encourage him to seek help from a counsellor. it wont be easy, given his temper, can see that he is quite stubborn, but if he doesnt seek help, he might, harm his child in the future.
u can read up abit more on the internet.here is one link u can check.
http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/postnatal-depression-fathers-may-affect-their-children
but dowin, i think your BIL might be suffering post natal depression, which is also called daddy baby blues..
dads can also suffer from it, cos they r also new to this new stage.
it is quite serious n will affect the child greatly too.
i would suggest u n your sis encourage him to seek help from a counsellor. it wont be easy, given his temper, can see that he is quite stubborn, but if he doesnt seek help, he might, harm his child in the future.
u can read up abit more on the internet.here is one link u can check.
http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/postnatal-depression-fathers-may-affect-their-children